Lemme have a try:
Crystal x The Snarl in Pink frills and white lace
Someone who is better at writing them than me should try. I imagine this is a sweet shoujo-manga-style story involving the pure evils of a loveable pair.
Kazumi x Shadowdancer with pregnancy
sounds boring.
Xykon x Kazumi (vampire)
As Xykon has no blood, this only leaves one brain-breaking possibility. 
NSFW:
Spoiler
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Xykon and Kazumi meet in some undefined place, obviously they've been exchanging love-laced letters since a very long time and only managed to get a date going right now, away from their loved/loving/necrophile/subordinate mates. They then go to their love nest. Obviously, this place is a cave, with bats.
As Kazumi enters the cave, she sports a cute, fluffy looking bat baby on the ground. Obviously it fell down from mommy-bat's nest.
Xykon: You know those bats are vampires?
Kazumi: It's a baby! Babies don't hurt mommies, and I'm a mommy too!
Kazumi takes the bat bby in her hands, and starts talking baby-talk to it. She then looks around and instantly spots the mummy-bat, and puts the baby back in the nest.
Xykon: Are you done?
Kazumi: Yes, dear.
Xykon (notices something on Kazumi's wrist): Have you scraped yourself against the rock?
Kazumi (notices she's bleeding a bit): Must be, dear.
They quickly get to business.
Kazumi: Oooh Xykon! Cutie! Let's see what you look like under that cloak of you.
Kazumi starts to gracefully remove Xykon's cloak, but ends up shredding it as she uncovers Xykon's sexy, smooth, whitish body. Her eyes seem to be turning a bit reddish.
Kazumi: Oops.
Xykon: Kazumi, my love-bird, that cloak was tattered and bad. I have spares.
Kazumi: I feel...strange. Must be the sight of your strong male body!
Unbeknownst to both of the lovers, Kazumi's canines slowly elongate. She is too fuelled up to notice.
Kazumi: Here, let me lick your stark-naked neck vertebrae.
Xykon: Mmmmmmhhh, yes.
Kazumi nibbles on Xykon's neck, trying to bite him but finding no hold-fast. She notices a certain craving for blood, yet realizes Xykon cannot supply it. Then she realizes there another fluid that could supply her needs. She slowly moves down, sensually following his bony body with her tongue. Soon she reaches a certain part of his body.
Kazumi: Well, you certainly have a big bone here, don't you, Xykon-cutie?!?
I'll stop there, because writing the rest is too brain-breaking...
Lord Shojo x Yor with adultery
...who is Yor again?
Sarah Greenhilt x Roy's Archon (vampire)
Oh gods, the potential!
NSFW, especially at the end:
Spoiler
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It had taken some tries, but finally Roy's Archon had did it. The first delivery had failed miserably due to an obvious lack of hands to carry the flowers. Poor little Archon had ended up covered in flowers right in front of the florist, and had narrowly escaped being swept up by the Heavenly Sanitary Service Snakes (HSSSs).
The second time that stupid NPC Archon had asked to deliver the flowers had decided to try and have a swing at Sarah itself. Sadly, being a heavenly butterfly punk that had painted itself bright red it had been swatted by the HSSSs, who thought it was an invader from Hell.
The third time he had chosen the wrong type of flowers and had attracted a large swarm of flower-eating bats. One of which had thought he was a tasty flower and had tried to eat him. Five weeks in Heaven's main hospital. The doctor said there would not be any major consequences.
The fourth time...well, let's not talk about the fourth time.
The fifth time was the right one, and Archon had dipped a cart full of flowers into Sarah's garden. Now he was sitting here, in her utterly awesome mansion, with that hot gir...woman in front of him. Roy sure had luck to have such a hot mom!
A good meal later, and they were chatting yet again. Archon quickly understood this was the moment to act, before this just ended up being a fun evening out instead of a hot one.
Sarah said: Archon, where are you going?
Archon: To a place where we can have some *real* fun.
Sarah: But Archon! That's my bedroom over there! Sure you don't think we...oh. You really do, don't you?
Archon: Yes.
Sarah: But you must realize, we humans have certain body parts required for making love! You lack them!
Archon: Oh, but, Madam, I am sure I can please you in ways no human lover could please you!
With these words, Roy's Archon nudged and winked as good as an archon could, and continued towards Sarah's bedroom. Sarah, intrigued, followed.
***
Here he was, ready to enter Sarah's place of love, a place so sweet, so fluffy, he would make her enjoy the whole ride, again and again.
***
Sarah gasped.
It was true. That little Archon could please her in each and every way she ever wanted. And unlike some of her other partners, he could just continue doing it.
She gasped again.
I leave the way in which Roy's Archon can please Sarah again and again and again up to your imagination. What I wrote is probably really on the edge of what's allowed here already...
Julia Greenhilt x The IFCC x Roy's sword x Durkon x Horace Greenhilt x Belkar x The really dangerous trap (all are furries)
...I rolled 18, followed by 19 on the fourth table (using tables on page 1). What follows is only an idea for a fanfic, but needs spoilerization for being NSFW Spoiler
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I would assume Roy's sword would serve as a stimulation device - the hilt, not the blade, unless Belkar's holding it, although of course Durkon's healing powers could come in handy should the blade be used. Where the IFCC comes in I don't know.
Argent x The orc chieftain x The Eye of Fear and Flame x Haley's dad (genderswitched) x Monster in The Dark, all in High heels and black leather
Need I say, Spoiler
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doggy style?
Re: Crack Pairings Matchup Table
