Quote Originally Posted by TheBST View Post
What kind of attitude is that? Spill your guts chief, no one's here to judge.
Alright... but I feel really bad for making you guys listen to all this.

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Well, a good place to start, I guess is about this time last year.

My good friend, A, and myself pretty much spent the entire summer or so flirting with each other. Now, she was in a long distance relationship with this other guy, J. This had been going on for a couple years now, and was on and off occasionally, but definitely more time on. Now, during September and October, she started getting depressed. They were fighting a lot more, and J treated her like **** most of the time. He was smoking a lot of pot and it was, all in all, not a very healthy relationship.

This is where I come in. She was feeling spiteful, lonely and horny. One night in October we ended up making out on her couch, and slowly progressing from there. During that time, things were going worse for her and J. She was failing school because of it, and almost dropped out. But around the start of November, she broke it off with him (after a lot of worry because she thought J was going to kill himself because of it) and we ended up together. A went through periods of talking to him for a little while, trying to keep a friendship, only to loose contact for months.

Now flash forward to June/July. Our relationship is getting a little rocky. Disagreements are turning into arguments which are turning into fights. It's happening more frequently. We've had relationship issues in the past, but we've worked them out. But around the start of July, we have a big fight, and end up breaking up. The idea seemed mutual at the time (give us some time to clear our heads and see what happens) but looking back it seemed rather sudden.

Now, we've been keeping in touch, as friends, throughout summer, kinda being flirty again, but not as much as last year. But, just a few weeks ago, I learn that she's back together with J. After talking to her about it, apparently she's been together since the middle of July, just a few weeks after we broke up. I guess I believe her, but there are some suspicious things looking back on it all. She had been wearing jewelry J had gotten her while they were together, and not just random jewelry, but a ring that I'm pretty sure was really important to her. And I think she was talking to him again before we broke up.

I could just be really paranoid, but when I asked her about it a couple weeks after we broke up, whether she was back with J or not, she said she wasn't, so I don't know what to think.


Now, they've been back together for a couple months, and he was supposed to move up here to live with her for about six months, but he ended up getting stuck in customs because they figured out he didn't have enough money to go back home after the "two month visiting period" was over. Which is true. But she has been really depressed again, and she's told me that they've been fighting over the little things lately. J wants A to move down to the States with him, and she doesn't want to, because up here she has a job, friends and assurance if something ever happens, because she's living with her mom right now and has no experience living on her own. I'm afraid of what happens if J presses the issue, as A doesn't really have a habit of thinking about herself first.

All the while, I'm trying to be a good friend. Yes, I still have feelings for her, but I'd rather see her happy, instead of hurt and depressed. Last night, we end up staying up late texting each other, flirting and saying things you really don't say to just "friends". Today, we go out for lunch, but she ditches me after, saying that things we're too weird. Apparently, she was fighting the urge to just grab me and have her way with me when I walked in the door. She's depressed and lonely and horny, again. I'm trying to help her out, get her to talk over her issues to figure out why she's so depressed, and she says she doesn't want to talk it over with me because she's still very attracted to me.

I'm trying to get her to see around that, and to think about her own happiness and herself first, and what other people want second. And I haven't gotten back anything else about that yet.


I'm worried, but at the same time, I feel like maybe I'm just being the jealous ex-boyfriend and blowing things way out of proportion. I don't want to lose a friendship though. I don't know what to do.