Quote Originally Posted by Lycan 01 View Post
Having trouble with the HxRC fic, so lets see what sort of modifier I can roll to help me come up with ideas...

*rolls a 15*

WHY!?

Hinjo x Redcloak, with high heels and black leather
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Redcloak needed to see a psychiatrist. Severely. It hadn't been too bad at first. He'd been having dreams about the Order of the Stick and their allies, although they were all sitting in a tavern getting drunk and enjoying each other's company. But the dreams started to get stranger. Over time, he and the leader of Azure City, Hinjo, would sit down at a table and tell jokes and funny stories back and forth. With every dream, the story progressed. Jokes and stories turned into friendly banter. Friendly banter turned into personal discussion. Personal discussion eventually turned into an invitation upstairs into Hinjo's room. That invitation turned into something... unspeakable. The dreams got worse and worse, but Redcloak thought it was just his subconscious playing merry havok with his mind. But he finally decided he needed help when his dream self broke out the high heeled boots, black leather underwear, and a bullwhip.


Urrrrgh... I'm okay. Lets move on to the next one...


Crystal x The Chimera
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Somewhere in the Neutral Evil afterlife, Crystal was sitting in a tavern knocking back another tankard of beer. The Neutral Evil afterlife was okay... there were peasants to burn, villages to kill... But it got old fast. The people she wanted to kill weren't killable, and she couldn't do a thing about it. "Grrrr..." she growled, suddenly throwing her beer across the counter. "DARN YOU, HALEY, AND YOUR STUPID ORDER!!"

"And what Order would that be?" inquired a trio of voices from nearby. Looking over, Crystal noticed a Chimera hunched over at a nearby table, casually sipping from three mugs of ale. "We couldn't help but overhear that outburst..."

"Meh..." Crystal huffed. "I think they're called the Order of the Stick."

"Oh..." the Chimera snarled. "Them... Yeah, they sent us here, too..."

"Really, now?" Crystal arched an eyebrow. "How'd that come about?"

-20 MINUTES LATER-

"You should have seen the looks on the kids' faces when I told them I wasn't the clown!" Crystal giggled. "Oh man, birthday parties are a hoot..."

"HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!!!" the trio of Chimeric heads laughed.

-2 HOURS LATER-

"Oooooh, no..." Crystal frowned indignantly, rejecting the Chimera's offer to join them in their room upstairs. "I'm not drunk enough for that..."

-5 MINUTES LATER-

"Okay," Cyrstal giggled, putting down her twelth jug of booze, "I'm drunk enough now..."

-THE NEXT MORNING-

"Sooo..." Crystal broke the awkward silence, looking over at the Chimera that she was sharing a bed with. "I don't suppose you know how you got her either, do you?"


Eek... Well, that wasn't so bad... On to the last one...

Belkar x Roy's Sword
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Belkar kicked Roy's skull. "Good job, idiot..." he grumbled, kicking the skull again. "Way to screw everything up..." Celia and Haley had gone ahead to check out a small hamlet they'd seen while scouting, and they'd instructed him to stay behind with Roy. And they'd also mentioned, as they left, that they'd be back sometime after dusk - several hours from now. "If you hadn't died, I'd be able to bask in the blood of my foes without getting FUBAR'ed by some old geezer's magic tricks. And I'll admit... it was fun to see you hack through folks with that big sword of yours."

Belkar looked over at Roy's sword, which had somehow ended up lodged between Roy's ribs. Boy, had that been fun to explain to a travelling Paladin they'd happened upon... Belkar found himself staring at the blade. "You know, I wonder how many people that thing has killed over the years. How many organs it has spilled. How much blood has drizzled down... down..." Belkar suddenly felt very sick to his stomach. Had thinking about a sword really made him feel like that? He knew he was a sick person, but was he THAT sick? Still... He was curious. The sword was generations old. Generations of adventuring. Generations of hacking through tasty little chunks of XP. Generations... It had probably done more killing than he could ever dream of. He felt jealous. He also felt... odd. "No. No, no, noooo..." Belkar shook his head. "There's no way a sword is turning me on..."

But he still couldn't stop staring at it. He found himself slowly approaching it, unaware of his actions. Slowly, he reached out a hand. For some odd reason... he wanted to touch it. He wanted his fingers to gently grace its cold steel surface. To softly carress the veteran blade. After all... what harm could come from just one touch?

An hour later, Belkar made Mr. Scruffy swear to secrecy the sights he'd seen that day. He also began to work on a cover story for why several health potions had suddenly gone missing during the girls' absence.



Right, so is brain bleach more effective if poured in the ears, ingested orally, or injected derectly through the base of the skull?
My brains hurt now, I need brain bleach stat!