Storm Soul [3.5e Martial Discipline] -- PEACH

[DragoonWraith]

I agree with Djinn about the number of Stances and 9th level maneuvers. Actually, the number of maneuvers in general seems pretty high. Also, it's odd that Thunder is not the one that does Sonic damage; thunder, after all, is the sound that lightning makes, not the electricity.

Other than that, disciplines don't have a "key ability", they have associated weapons and an associated skill. It would appear that Concentration is the skill associated with Storm Soul, since that's the skill that people trained in it gain, but you should say that.

Anyway, it looks great from a fluff perspective. Very well done there...

On to maneuvers!

Foehn is literally three times as good as Wind Stride, a Desert Wind maneuver of the same level. That's not so good.

Again, Gale Burst is like Wolf Fang Strike plus Sapphire Nightmare Blade at once. Sure, there's the penalty if you fail the Concentration check, but skill checks are easy to optimize.

Roaring Wind looks fine, though. Sort of like Island of Blades, but it works differently, which seems fine.

Thunderbolt is like a very weak version of Burning Blade. The latter doesn't offer the attack bonus, but it deals 1d6 more damage and more importantly, it's a boost that affects every attack that turn. Electricity damage is better than fire, but seriously, this seems like a relatively weak ability.

Arc of Lightning is pretty much the same story: it's just like Burning Brand with lightning instead of electricity, but it works for only one attack instead of for every attack that turn. Decidedly worse, methinks.

Flowing Rain seems fine.

Dancing Wind, I think, should increase your speed by more than 5 ft. That seems like very little.

Squall Step looks solid. Basically the inverse of Absolute Steel Stance, which is just fine and makes sense.

Tempest Burst is an improved Gale Burst. At level 3, though, this seems much more reasonable. The +3d6 on the two attacks, with the penalties and with the chance of failing the Concentration check, matches up nicely with Soaring Raptor Strike, which get +6d6 without those drawbacks, but can only be used on enemies larger than yourself. Seems like a reasonable swap.

Thundercrack is much better than Thunderbolt, but still rather weak at the level you first get it. It scales pretty quickly, though, which is nice. Could be quite awesome for someone who had the Legion of One maneuver from the Army of One discipline...

I'm divided about Crack of Lightning. The deafening aspect is good, and the range is solid, but I feel like any single attack maneuver at this level should have some bonus damage on it. Deafening is not debilitating enough to use this instead of something else... the range is nice, but pretty niche, I'm just not sure I'd ready it.

Pouring Rain needs some clarification. Do you move before or after the attack? Do you move even if you fail to defend yourself with the check? What other attacks could you possibly have to worry about at that point?

Voice of Thunder is pure awesome, though the name seems somewhat strange for its effect...

Hmm... by 5th level, most effects seem to be +6d6 damage, plus some other stuff (ignoring DR, giving you DR, etc). Cyclone Burst is +5d6 twice, after you make the Concentration check. Not sure the drawbacks make up for the fact that you are potentially dealing nearly twice the damage of other strikes at this level. Maybe, though.

OK, Thunderblast is now quite potent. It's only slightly behind other maneuvers at the first level you get it, and it scales pretty quickly. Still, I don't think it's unbalanced.

Touch of the Rain seems fitting and reasonable.

Zephyr Breath is awesome, well done on that. Though you might consider renaming it - a zephyr is a gentle, warm wind, nothing like the violence of a hurricane.

Flooding Rain suffers from the same problem as Pouring Rain.

Streak of Lightning blinds instead of deafens. Definitely better, but again... blindness does not seem like a debilitating enough effect for this level. The Wizard's been doing that since level 3, at worst, and you're level 12.

Whisper of the Wind is pretty cool, that's a neat ability... though this seems perhaps a bit high level for it?

Gaze of the Storm, quite frankly, seems really weak for a 7th level stance. The closest comparison is Assassin's Stance, which gives +2d6 Sneak Attack damage... as a 2nd level stance. Sure, SA has limitations, but seriously now.

Tempest Eye turns your Swift action into a second Standard action? That's... quite powerful. Still, as a 7th level maneuver, the biggest possible abuse - getting it on a spellcaster and casting two 9th level spells at once - doesn't seem likely. I don't think it's too bad, though extra actions should always be considered critically. On some level, I suppose it's much less broken than the Factotum 8 ability, which isn't really all that broken, so I suppose it's pretty good. Definitely desirable.

Thunderstrike does +52 damage when you first get it. +80 damage at IL 20. No, still don't think this is overpowered. Says something about this entire line...

Typhoon Burst still does not seem overpowered. Not many maneuvers of this level go for straight damage, so it's a little hard to compare.

Bolt of Lightning does damage at range, and is a no-save paralyze? A paralyzed character is as good as dead, since they're helpless and should get Coup de Grace'd immediately, but that's also wasting an action and seems reasonable enough. Finally, one of these has an effect worth using.

Drenching Rain, again, need clarification on how these maneuvers work.

Step of the Four Winds... for a second I missed the "once per round" and I was flabbergasted. As it is... potent, very much so, but for an 8th level stance, not sure that's out of place at all.

Maelstrom Burst and Thunder both have the same problem: they don't do enough damage. Most 9th level maneuvers are save-or-dies. Strike of Perfect Clarity deals +100 damage - what Thunder will do at IL 20, but Strike of Perfect Clarity does it at IL 17. Maelstrom Burst is a little better (averages 99 damage, even at IL 17), but compared to the incredible effects of the other 9th level maneuvers, this is rather tame.

Mostly, I think you went overboard with your maneuver "lines". There's the Concentration+TWF line, the +X electricity damage per IL line, and the Concentration+movement counter line, and it's really just a bit much. This discipline seems to have too many maneuvers in general, but too many of them are just variations on these. I'd suggest paring down the amount of each of those lines, and create some new unique maneuvers, especially for 9th level.