Crack Pairings VIII - We Need A Half-Elf Template

[Water-Smurf]

Xykon/Tiasal (not really a pairing, because that would be gross)

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Xykon looked down at the little greenish child that sat on his lap. No, he could never feel love, nor did he have any desire to. But ever since he stole her from that self-righteous traitor Redcloak and his harlot of a wife he had begun to feel... possessiveness. Yes, that was the word. He could not love the child, but he could value her. Especially since the thought of Tiasal in the arms of an undead monstrosity must be causing her parents the most exquisite pain. What a torture it must be for a parent to know that his only child is in the hands of a fiend. Yes...

- Bone-Parent. Can you tell me the Story again?

*sigh* Always the Story. Always the same Story. It seemed to be the only thing that interested her. That and wizardry, which quite frankly made Xykon's head hurt. Still, Tsukiko had promised to take the brat and teach her once she got old enough. Make her a necromancer. Teach her the darkest of the dark arts. That would be the way to get rev...

-Bone-Parent. You promised...

Ah, well. He might as well, or he would just lose his temper and Meteor Swarm her into oblivion. And that wouldn't be any fun, would it? Well, to be honest it would be pretty hilarious but only for a short time...

- Well, little Tia. Many years ago your Daddy and I conquered the smoldering pit that was then Azure City. And just as we sat there planning our next move, who dropped in if not some black-robed elf with purple hair. So she started blasting away and I rose to the challenge, naturally. It was pretty fun there for a moment or two, until I beat the crap out of her.

- And... and...

- *sigh*. And that, Tiasal, is how I met your mother.

Thoughts?

*giggles* I love how enthusiastic Tiasal is over the whole thing, and it's cute that Xykon's actually willing to indulge her a little. It's not affection, per se, but some sort of affinity. It shows off their severely twisted relationship with each other.

Secrets of V's gender REVEALED!!! Read all about it!

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I do feel, Roy, that any Anti-Imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.

Agreed. Durkon?

Yeah. I think Haley's point of view is very valid, Roy, provided the Movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man--

Or woman.

Or woman... to rid himself--

Or herself.

Or herself.

Agreed.

Thank you, brother.

Or sister.

Or sister. Where was I?

I think you'd finished.

Oh. Right.

Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man--

Or woman.

Why don't you shut up about women, V. You're putting us off.

Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Roy.

Why are you always on about women, Vaarsuvius?

I want to be one.

What?

I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me 'Loretta'.

What?!

It's my right as a man.

Well, why do you want to be Loretta, 'Suvie?

I want to have babies.

You want to have babies?!

It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.

But... you can't have babies.

Don't you oppress me.

I'm not oppressing you, V. You haven't got a womb! -- Where's the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

[crying]

Here! I-- I've got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody's fault, not even the Goblins', but that he can have the right to have babies.

Good idea, Haley. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.

What's the point?

What?

What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can't have babies?!

It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

That made me giggle. And it made me slightly baffled.

So do I. Say "hi" to your parents from all the completely unfamiliar people you've met on the web!

They send their odd looks and general suspicion! :D

dodo!, you direct, coffie! watersmerf! you two are the only girls i know of here. can either of you voice V and/or Tuski?

I have a relatively deep, loud, and rich voice, but it's distinctly feminine. And I can sing. Match that with what you will.

Well, if it's any comfort we probably have broken some of the FFForum's rules. But apparently they don't have a sheriff to police them.

I'm not even sure if the rules they put up there are valid anymore. Even if you report people, nothing happens.

So, late Happy Birthday Water-Smurf! I've made a picture ,those are supposed to be Aula ,Tiberius, their doughter, their son-in-law and granddoughter.

Thank you so much! :D The family's together, and Aula and Tiberius are semi-decent around Tiasal. All's right with the world. ^.^

Holy crackgods! Water-Smurf's birthday???? O.O

I can't just let that go ignored, even if I AM late. :D So happy birthday! :D

She looks so grown-up! ^.^ I love it! Thank you!

It's quick and messy, but I was really going to head to sleep when I stopped by here, so... ^^; Hope you like it. I think you're an awesome person and I wish you all the strength you need to not let things drag you down and to become an even awesomer person. :)

*wibbles* *crawls over and hugs*

By the way, I loved the last chapter of Tiasal's story. Really suspenseful there, so much conflict - especially now that Redcloak is there to counterbalance Xykon's influence with his own. His tragically brief moment of bonding with Tiasal really filled me with a sort of anxious hope and concern for how she'll develop with Xykon and Redcloak tugging on her from opposite sides. And of course, her mentally burying her family and friends at the end isn't encouraging, even if it is somewhat relieving that she did so while remembering them with love and grief and not with resentment.

I figured that no child would be able to be ripped away from her family without having at least one period of mourning. She really has lost everything, even if she is not quite sure what she lost.

I also like where the VxRC story is going. The first form of RC's forced choice between the Plan and Vaarsuvius had to come sometime and this is as good a time as any. I like it that you keep the other characters active in the story despite centering it on V and RC. It makes them feel real, as real players in this scheme, rather than just window dressing.

That's actually pretty difficult for me. It's hard to include lots of characters in one short story, and I'm doing my best to give everyone a slice of the cake. (No pun intended. )

Okay, off to bed now. I wish you to retroactively enjoy your birthday cake. XD

Not retroactive. ^.^ I'm going to have my cake tonight. I only got back home last night, and my dad had to go out, so we haven't celebrated my birthday yet.

And it's nice to see you again! :D


Oh, and guys, here's my chart. There's a hint of what might come, but I haven't connected anything substantial to something the reader doesn't know about.

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