(Any) Your most annoying player...

[Zanatos777]

Those are great, you should vent some more and give us a good time with your prose.

Anyway, yes, I have one of those and he drives me crazy as I am the DM in that game right now. He is the opposite of your guy, however.

He metagames all the time and expects the other characters to things for him (or even like him) when he rarely reciprocates. He builds what seem to be optimized characters but he does not fully understand the rules so he stacks stuff that shouldn't stack, etc. When we get to the game, he seems to make every save and his attacks seem to get better on his multiple attacks even with the resulting -5 to each consecutive attack.

In a nutshell, he can be very frustrating but we have endured up until now and may continue to endure for some time. So we all have those types, just practice patience is my advice.

I've got this one too. He makes characters who are completely unreasonable and believe they are right in all things. Generally they have one really defining feature: either hating whoever or whatever killed him last or hating the party leader. Further they try to be the most important thing going on all the time. They almost always have very high stats, lots of magic items (cause he's making new characters so I let him have his full wealth, oddly the party almost never loots his corpse). I am certain he fudges rolls often but don't care because he is so ineffective. He dies a lot (not always by my hand), though sometimes the characters leave for stupid reasons. Usually because he does something incredibly stupid. These are all the same game. All the same player. The other players collectively have died or changed characters as much as him...maybe less. The player is male but most of the character are female and elves.

Angela the Crusader

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He was once killed by level 1 guards (five of them, the basic ones in Cityscape) while he was a level 5 crusader. The reason for the battle? They wanted to confiscate his weapons (none of which were magic) after he ran through the streets threatening another PC. It took only three rounds. It was also the second or third time I had killed him in a game with enemies he totally outclassed thus some of the players started taking bets on how long he would last.

Bard whose name I forgot

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His next character was a member of the minority he knew some of the PCs were violently opposed to, died the next session (beaten to death in the night after allowing himself to knocked unconscious). He faked sleeping and was then knocked out without a fight by one PC (an evil slaver, whose boss will appear later) and then beaten to death by another PC (who eventually became one the main villains).

...I don't have the character sheets with me as I type this

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Next was an elven Paladin with a 9 constitution but still had hit points comparable to the warblade, melted by a black dragon. I was rather annoyed when I did the math on the character and realized he couldn't have rolled lower than 8 on any of his 8 or 9 levels, which would have been excusable if every single character (of his) had ridiculous stats.

Vanera, this one is long, also longest running character

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The next character was brutally enslaved by slavers after failing to get all the hints he was picking a fight far out of his league (rendered unconscious with a chicken leg). She had a revenge subplot which I think was supposed to give him a whole self-righteous high as he completed it in an epic battle but I looked at the circumstances and elected to go the morally ambiguous road (the circle of revenge is sort of a theme as is that damage it does in my games). I put the character she was hunting in a war camp the party was going to expecting (given the player) that he would run into the character and immediately kill him.
Instead she started to question the righteousness of the whole party's quest (ready the great empire for war against the evil goddess in the south) and wanted to find out how to contact said goddess and get her side. The earlier mentioned slaver PC (who was only slightly subtle about his evil at this point cause the party felt they needed him, his manipulations not mine) secretly worked for another (and actually evil) god and captured and executed her, after questioning her (the player was trying to find a reason to not kill her, he had no sense motive). I then revealed that the revenge subplot was supposed to be wrapped up in the war camp, four hours of in game travel away the party collectively asked me to move the interrogation to the next night so the subplot could be finished.
This was fantastic I thought so they went on to the war camp. Vanera hunts down the blacksmith expecting an epic battle only to find...a blacksmith. Further he didn't deny doing the deed but went further and justified it saying that Vanera's master had killed his father (all over an artifact sword the party would fetch later and for completely different reasons). Suddenly Vanera decides that she must know the truth and marches out of the tent and grabs...some kid (his decision was to grab some kid and have them find the party bard for some reason). Soldiers in the camp did not take kindly to someone doing this and while the players were gearing up to see Angela 2.0 (epic mooks as they call them) the evil slaver stepped in and brought Vanera to see his (very, very dangerous) boss. This character attempts to have a conversation with her only to be eventually attacked. The slaver boss knocks her out and decides that she would make a good slave. Recently the character was killed ironically by the artifact sword which started the whole thing (wielded by the character she lost her powers for attacking no less) then used as a shield to close the distance with the slaver boss (which ultimately killed him, stupid archers in melee).

...Yeah there are more

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The next character a cleric of Athena hunted down the party looking for the father of her child. The party's cleric of Dionysus was the father (the player was not entirely comfortable with this idea at first, the Dionysus cleric's player I mean). This character lasted a couple sessions, long enough for two of the party members to betray the party for their own reasons. Then she gave custody of her daughter to a powerful anarchist who she had known for about 6 hours (5 of which she was sleeping). The other party members game the player grief about it because it made even less sense in context. Then she went on to loss much of her powers for trying to kill another party member who she disliked because he made fun of her, the combination of these circumstances made the character leave to find her daughter again. Did I mention that she had a really creepy stalker...I want to say subtext but it really wasn't subtle.

Dervish who came out of nowhere and made no sense

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Next, was a dervish who dedicated herself to a "god" (one of the party members who may or may not be a god) of peace and community, with no prompting and confusing the heck out of the whole party as she was very violent. When her village was met with destruction and it was blamed indirectly on the "god" character turned to the bad guys and gained superpowers to defeat him. She utterly failed, instead loosing all her weapons as they broke upon his vow of peace and was taken in by a goddess who said she would help her recover from her corruption. He elected not to play the character after that.

And now for Evil

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Next was an evil paladin who wanted only power and murder. He quickly drew the ire of the characters (if for no other reason that trying to pick a fight with a really powerful and really well liked NPC) and got his arm burned off by an artifact. The aforementioned goddess gave him a new arm which he could only use while doing righteous deeds (defending his allies counted). He ended up mind controlled (by one of the main bad guys) and killed by the eternal blade and rogue.

The Druid (don't remember the name too short lived)

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The next character was a druid who appeared and as her opening act had her snake animal companion bite a prisoner who grabbed her with venomfire. This one I admit made me angry as I observe some basic edict. You don't pull out the super spells and neither will I. I won't use death magic until the party does for instance (well main villains do cause their jerks). I had already decided that this particular prisoner was very powerful and had only been imprisoned by prophesying the danger he posed in the first place. He died soon after this encounter. In my defense the character who actually killed him (former PC who became evil, the one who beat the Bard to death actually and earlier mentioned warblade) was explicitly stated to have been hunting druids to make the party druid suffer knowing that it was her fault.

His deaths have actually become a joke in our group. My players quickly learn that NPCs are people too, he has not.
I also think I should take a moment to note that I don't hate this guy. I am merely annoyed when he sucks up huge amounts of time over very minor things.