Quote Originally Posted by Malfunctioned View Post
Not much news really about my attempts at a love life but Pancakes post above reminded me of something that happened recently.

I got back into contact with T, my ex, due to my inability to hold a grudge against anyone. I confessed that I did miss her and she said the same. She also said that she keeps on thinking of me whenever she gets the train (Us living on opposite sides of London meant that that was the only way we could get too each other) and when she saw me at an Expo she wanted to cry. I however can't say the same, she's still with the guy she started dating a few days after she dumped me but she told me that she wants us to be just as close as we were when we were dating. Except I don't think I can, whilst I do make friends with people easily and can develop close bonds with people easily as well it took a hell of a lot for me to become as close to her as I did, she wants that closeness back but, as far as I can tell, doesn't want us back, and even if she did I would probably say no.

In short, she wants us to be just like we were, except without being together, whilst she's still with another guy, I don't think I can.

Any advice?
'things just as they were' is one of those concepts that doesn't hold up in the real world. They're kind of necessarily going to be different. Let her know that.

It doesn't mean you can't still be friends, or that you have to turtle up and avoid all contact with her (although sometimes those help,) but the nature of relationships is to change. She doesn't get to instantly reverse that.

(I've been in a similar situation, although I was the "let's drag things back to the way they were" guy. Hopefully my advice helps.)