I love ToB, and I love homebrew disciplines for ToB. While you're remaking the book as a whole, sure, whatever, the base concept remains the same, and the base mechanics remain the same, so I am still a fan (and from the looks of things, they still overlap pretty concretely).

Very small nitpicky and potentially frustrating edits:
Stance of the Defending Shell should specify minimum +2. It looks like you may have meant that it is a bonus of +2, plus an additional +2 for every 5 initiator levels (that would get you a +10 bonus at 20th level, whereas right now you don't reach the +10 bonus until 25th).

Iron Shell could use a touch of clarification: You define it as an attack roll, which implies you would add your Strength bonus as well. But from the description it sounds like it's a d20 roll, plus your BAB, plus your shield bonus to AC and that's all. This applies to a few other maneuvers as well.

Instead of "One creature of Intelligence 1 or higher" I think it's slightly more accurate to say "One creature with an Intelligence score." But that's a particularly minor nitpick.

Enraging Strike: that's 12 + Initiator's Intelligence modifier, yes? Right now, sentence structure implies that it's the target's Intelligence modifier (this applies to some other abilities as well). The +2 to hit bonus is regardless of whether he falls to the rage, right? Perhaps rephrase to make that more clear.

Rephrase Tortoise Trip to 'If your melee attack is successful you' rather than 'Make a successful melee attack and'.

Turtle Shell Wall says deflection bonus in the list, and shield bonus in the description. Should be shield in both, I expect.

Tortoise Taunt: says Intelligence 2 or higher in the details block, but Intelligence 3 or higher in the description. The 2 should be a 3, I assume.

Defensive Shell: Says +1 per 5 ft. in the small block, +2 per 5 ft. in the full description. I assume it should be +1. It's a little abusable, but not unless you are actively trying to abuse it by boosting your movement speed, so I'd say it's an acceptable (and entertaining) loophole and not worth trying to close. The half speed limit stops it from being actively abusable. Interesting proposal: also unable to take 5 foot steps?

Mirror Shell is over-effective: your attack roll is, on average, 10.5 + BAB + Shield bonus. If you are, say, 8th level, that probably means something like 20 on average as a low estimate, whereas the caster has caster level 8. It should probably be this attack roll of yours against their caster level check, which might have been what you meant. That's more fair, and will still leave the adept winning the check the majority of the time.

Iron Tortoise stance says one attack equal to his Intelligence modifier. Is that one extra AOO, or a number of extra AOOs equal to his Intelligence?

Vicious Snapping Strike is awesome. Again, interesting proposal: target is unable to take 5 foot steps? Stops them from moving away easily, which seems fitting.

Stance of the Turtle Knight: This should end when involuntarily moved as well.

Shell Shock seems dangerous, because you can send someone flying off a cliff or whatnot with no save if you can score a hit (which is easier). But it feels kind of unnecessarily restrictive to give them a save as well. So I'm undecided about this one. I guess I'd say leave it as is, making this comment completely unnecessary. It should have a size limit: the target must be the same size or smaller as the initiator. Maybe up to one size bigger if you want.

Steel Shell seems a little silly, as it does the same as the 1st level maneuver, plus DR 20/-. It feels a little simple/redundant. I like the idea, but I feel like it could be changed somehow to be made a little more different from the earlier maneuver. This goes for Adamantine Shell as well.

I think Glorious Shell Shock should specify that the three foes must be adjacent to the initiator, and to each other.

Adamantine Turtle Lord's Stance: I believe there are no cone or line effects which require an attack roll. Dragon breath weapons do not, I believe. Again, seems like it should be caster level check versus attack roll for balance. The shield bonus maybe could be +4 instead of +2, to boost it from the previous stance? Maybe not. (I love this ability. Stopping lines and breaking cones is really damn cool. Well done).




I love this discipline. It's great. I love unusual weapon disciplines, like Fax's Falling Star archery discipline, and this as a good shield and weapon discipline. It's very well designed, and looks balanced to me. I love the final ability, and the line and cone-cutting defensive stance is a fantastic idea.

I can really see an adept using Iron Defender's Riposte, and leaping across the field of battle, smashing an enemy's attack down out of the way of his ally, then swinging his shield back up for a crushing blow back up the opponent's head...

All of the attention grabbing aggression maneuvers are great and well done, fitting, and useful. I have found that it is often a little sketchy how the DM has to usually stop particularly intelligent opponents from simply focusing fire on the squishy ones to avoid repeated, annoying, and anti-climactic deaths. This seems like a great solution.

Overall, I quite love it. Lots of minor edits to make, but they're basically syntax and consistency issues, to be read over, and fixed, just to make a more usable copy of the class, not to make any real changes.