Quote Originally Posted by Pheehelm View Post
Maeglin -- how are you meeting these girls? What draws you to them? Aside from the obvious craziness and infidelity, what all do they have in common? Your experiences could very well be nothing more than a string of bad luck like everyone else is saying, but I just can't help but wonder if there's some pattern here that bears identifying.



Offhand, I have an old textbook here with a few guidelines for avoiding affairs. It's not terribly comprehensive, but I might copy it over into RWA some time...
First one I met at the end of summer at camp one year. I had worked there, and when I left she was showing up with another group. She got my email from one of the other workers, got in touch with me, and we wound up dating for about three months. She left me for a guy at school.

Second one I also met at camp, and then she started going to my school. We started going out, she revealed that she used to do marijuana, but gave it up when we started dating. We stopped dating for the summer, so I wouldn't get fired, she goes and kisses another guy at the mall (we weren't technically dating, so not necessarily a big deal) and then when summer was over, started slipping back into the marijuana and saying that if I didn't start dating her again, she'd go right back to it. I declined.

Third one I met at a birthday party. We started dating shortly before I went to college, and we dated for about 18 months. She broke up with me over IM, and was dating the guy who recommended she do it within a month.

Last one I met at a Dagorhir event, and I offered to teach her archery. This went on for a while, and the first time she kissed me at an event, I specifically told her not to do it again. I was her teacher, and we would leave it at that. Five months later, we shared a couch at an event, and that pretty well shot the student/teacher relationship. Seven months later, she starts cheating on me, on her birthday, the day after I spent about four hours driving (both ways, with some extra for a trip out to a waterfall) to visit her.


No real discernable pattern, that I'm aware of, except that all the girls I've dated are girls who pursued me, and all the girls I've pursued haven't dated me.