D&D Snippets

[big teej]

Ado - fuss, bother, busyness
Adieu - French word, means 'goodbye'

-sigh- thankyou... I hate it when that happens =P happened with violtale violatile....-BAD WORDS-
I digress...

spelling is not my thing...

Main criticism is that you haven't used proper sentences. Write full sentences and use fullstops, instead of ellipses, it'll flow better. Generally speaking, you should always use full sentences unless it's needed for dramatic or another effect. I find that using half sentences and the like works best when writing in first person, because people don't think in full sentences. At least, I don't. (and see there, I've just proved my point "At least, I don't" isn't a full sentence, technically it should have been attached to the previous sentence with a semi-colon. But I don't think in sentences so I didn't write in it)

it was indeed, I cranked this out because he wanted a quick explanation of 'a day in the life' and given that this is a friend of mine, I didn't feel the need to write in an excessivly formal or edited manner, my future snippets (mostly drawing on my dwarven knight and my barbarian) will be much more thoroughly proof read.

Please don't feel like I'm nitpicking. I really enjoyed what you wrote, and as I said, I suspect much of this is because it's brief background get-into-your-character's-head writing for your DM. That makes you write differently. I think the second half was definitely better, your descriptive writing is good. I liked the 'All was as it should be' part. I like repetition like that I probably would have combined a few of the paragraphs so there weren't as many 'all was as it should be's' but that's really entirely up to the discretion of the author, so don't take anything from it if you don't want to. Entirely my personal preference, and an knowledge that I'm really bad at doing that all the time so I tend to be fairly conscious of it.

by all means, nitpick away (just gently!) it helps me improve.

as for the excessive amounts of paragraphs.... thats my fault XD the way my mind works, whenever I have to describe something/somebody I build it in parts, so I described each part of Sohn's outfit, much as one would do in a mirror before you went out for the day.


that said, your criticism is appreciated and (hopefully) applied


until next time, where I shall type up a snippet from the perspective of Roche Smoulderbeard, Dwarven Knight of -censor block-

Spoiler

Show

can't say what/who he represents, its an ingame and incharacter secret, and I don't know if any of my group members troll the forums

the snippet shall be 'The Death of Kelvar"

until next time!