But that's not all they were used for. The balls and the dances and the carefully-choreographed meetings, they were so that young men and women could meet and find someone they might like to develop something with. That's exactly the same as dating sites: it's a way to meet strangers, to find some that might make good friends and/or partners. It's not "over someone you already know", it's "in the absense of already knowing someone, and having a lack of means to meet new people". It's just a pub, except if you don't like the sleazy guy who just sat next to you, you can just delete their comment and ignore them.