D&D Snippets

[Lady Moreta]

I really love all of the stories everyone has posted so far, and am really looking forward to more. I've been lurking around this thread for a while, and was finally inspired to resurrect this account to try and be a part of it.

Awesome. A new victim!

Er... I mean, newcomer - welcome newcomer

The last thing I heard was the murmuring of many voices. The last thing I felt was the falling rain.

tl;dr Varen finally learns the identity of his mortal enemy before possibly being killed.

Wow. Just wow. That was epic I love fight scenes, and that was very well done. Wonderful battle, and so sad!

Only one point of critism (which is mostly a stylistic thing):

“Silence!” I screamed, feeling my voice seemingly erupt from my body. “You have been a source of misery in this land for far too long! I will make you pay for your crimes, here and now!”

Here, I don't think you need the 'seemingly'. His voice was supposed to erupt from his body yes? You were trying to express exactly how he's feeling and just how he's screaming - anger and hatred and fear all in one right? Using 'seemingly' actually lessens the impact of the 'erupt from my body' part. I would take it out.

Also, on a purely physical note, technically we talk out of our body (the mouth), so why can't he 'erupt' instead of just yell?

okay...

I give up....

what in the name of pun-pun does tl;dr mean?!

We could tell you, but then we'd have to kill you

Translated: I have no idea what it means, but I've seen it before and am also curious. Machuchang, what does it mean?

edit: and there you go answering the question before I get in...