Ridiculous D&D contrivances

[Starscream]

I have lots to say, but unfortunately it has all been said better than I could here, here and here. (Links contain NSFW language)

Edit:
'nother one.

[Izmir Stinger]

In D&D, the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the length of the other two sides. The geometry of this world, and by extension the physics, isn't just physically impossible. That I can deal with. You have to for willing suspension of disbelief in fantasy. Magic and monsters and stuff, that's all physically impossible.

But no, the really weird stuff is casually accepted by most of the gamers. When the adventurers get down to the violence they move around in a world where one guy running due north and another guy running the exact same speed northwest retain the same relative position on a north south axis. That square room they are in? Every point on the wall is the same distance from the center as every other point on the wall. Yup, that square room is a circle.

The logical impossibilities will really warp your brain.

[DragoonWraith]

Some people here just have no concept of how weird nature itself can actually be...

Case in point: This. Just ignore the stupid music.

Hey I like that song!

And there are weirder things in nature than those, I think. More importantly, though, those make a lot more sense than sharks bred to be immune to corrosion.

[ken-do-nim]

In D&D, the length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the length of the other two sides. The geometry of this world, and by extension the physics, isn't just physically impossible. That I can deal with. You have to for willing suspension of disbelief in fantasy. Magic and monsters and stuff, that's all physically impossible.

But no, the really weird stuff is casually accepted by most of the gamers. When the adventurers get down to the violence they move around in a world where one guy running due north and another guy running the exact same speed northwest retain the same relative position on a north south axis. That square room they are in? Every point on the wall is the same distance from the center as every other point on the wall. Yup, that square room is a circle.

The logical impossibilities will really warp your brain.

Is that a 4th edition change? In 3.5 diagonals count for 1.5 squares.

I've been playing 1st edition recently, and I have to say I enjoy the freedom of removing the grid under the miniatures entirely and using a ruler in play to determine distances (which are all listed in inches).

[Graymayre]

How about the fact that some people can fall faster than others?

"Don't even try to beat Bob in a sky-diving race"

"Why?"

"Because he's a monk."

Then there's drowning people to keep them from bleeding out. Who knew that filling a person's lungs full of water would bring them back from the brink of death?

[monty]

How about the fact that some people can fall faster than others?

"Don't even try to beat Bob in a sky-diving race"

"Why?"

"Because he's a monk."

I thought everything fell at the same rate - 150 feet in the first round, and 300 feet every subsequent round. Granted, this ignores air resistance, but do you really want to deal with all of those formulas?

Then there's drowning people to keep them from bleeding out. Who knew that filling a person's lungs full of water would bring them back from the brink of death?

I'm pretty sure that was an oversight, and not intended to actually be part of the game.

[lesser_minion]

Is that a 4th edition change? In 3.5 diagonals count for 1.5 squares.

I've been playing 1st edition recently, and I have to say I enjoy the freedom of removing the grid under the miniatures entirely and using a ruler in play to determine distances (which are all listed in inches).

4e has now changed things so that diagonal movement is at the same rate as normal movement - they seem to think that counting every other square as two squares is too much work.

My own contribution is 4e's round system - things move from one round to the next with what might as well be a 'CLUNK!' audible in the game world.

Either adventurers have a very draconian schedule or the laws of physics don't even need to be told to shut up and sit down any more.

[JeminiZero]

One of my favorites is that you can buy a 10 foot ladder, break it up into 2x 10 ft pools and a bunch of spare firewood, and then sell it back at a profit.

Of course, this might be explained by the proliferation of the Ladder Tree, which yields a massive crop of 10 foot ladders as fruit, thereby causing the market value of ladders to plummet.

[Zhalath]

I'm sorry, but nothing weirds me out more than Eberron's Lightning Train. It's a train. A freaking train. In a fantasy setting. The train runs faster and is more reliable than ours! Using "elemental stones". It just boggles the mind.

[Reverent-One]

My own contribution is 4e's round system - things move from one round to the next with what might as well be a 'CLUNK!' audible in the game world.

Either adventurers have a very draconian schedule or the laws of physics don't even need to be told to shut up and sit down any more.

What exactly do you mean by that? How is it worse than 3.5 edition?

[MeklorIlavator]

I'm sorry, but nothing weirds me out more than Eberron's Lightning Train. It's a train. A freaking train. In a fantasy setting. The train runs faster and is more reliable than ours! Using "elemental stones". It just boggles the mind.

Well, there's the fact that it's not a fantasy setting. It's a Magiktech setting(an offshoot of Steampunk).

[monty]

I'm sorry, but nothing weirds me out more than Eberron's Lightning Train. It's a train. A freaking train. In a fantasy setting. The train runs faster and is more reliable than ours! Using "elemental stones". It just boggles the mind.

Eberron is dungeon punk, and therefore follows Niven's Law: "Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology."

[AgentPaper]

I think it would be a good idea to not include contrivances about rules in this. Every single word of the rules is, in essence, a contrivance, and if you try and say which ones are more so than others, nobody is going to agree and the only result is a flame war. (or at the least, this thread will be nothing but people telling how they things feats and ability scores and turns and the spellcasting system and rolling dice and on and on and on are so horribly contrived)

[Kaiyanwang]

The fact that monks can't dual-wield their bare hands.

At the risk of unleash Stoopidtallkid's fury , in the FAQs the sage suggest as accettable use flurry and TWF together.

[FoE]

I'm sorry, but nothing weirds me out more than Eberron's Lightning Train. It's a train. A freaking train. In a fantasy setting. The train runs faster and is more reliable than ours! Using "elemental stones". It just boggles the mind.

That ignores the fact that the lightning train is totally awesome.

[Curmudgeon]

Lets see...
Feats:
Dash x3

Speed: 30ft + 10ft + 15ft 5ft = 55ft 45ft

I adjusted your post to follow the RAW.

If a character has the same feat more than once, its benefits do not stack unless indicated otherwise in the description.

In general, having a feat twice is the same as having it once.

Dash 3x still gives only +5' to your speed.

[lesser_minion]

What exactly do you mean by that? How is it worse than 3.5 edition?

Things like characters suddenly falling out of the sky if they end their move in midair after jumping. The lack of full-round actions that might need to be split across rounds is also pretty noticeable

I don't remember ever comparing it to 3e though - I know why they changed it. It's just slightly odd.

It's up to you whether or not it's worse than the alternative.

[SolkaTruesilver]

You can only do a swift action per round.

No matter if you don't take a move action at all.
No matter if the only think you want to do during the round is swift actions. You can do ONLY ONE swift action per round.

(But a 5-foot step is no problem)

[InaVegt]

I adjusted your post to follow the RAW. Dash 3x still gives only +5' to your speed.

45'/round speed combined with run feat is still faster than olympian athletes, though.

[Dervag]

Then there's drowning people to keep them from bleeding out. Who knew that filling a person's lungs full of water would bring them back from the brink of death?

I'm pretty sure that only works if you deliberately and creatively misinterpret the rules.

[Oslecamo]

You can only do a swift action per round.

No matter if you don't take a move action at all.
No matter if the only think you want to do during the round is swift actions. You can do ONLY ONE swift action per round.

(But a 5-foot step is no problem)

Clearly swift actions don't interfere with other actions, but are complex enough that you can only do it once per round anyway. Like changing a combat stance. Or casting a spell really quickly. You can do it while doing other stuff, but you can't do it twice in a row.

Anyway in 3e swift actions are much more valuable than move actions. Go play 4e if you want multiple swift actions per round.

[lord_khaine]

One of my favorites is that you can buy a 10 foot ladder, break it up into 2x 10 ft pools and a bunch of spare firewood, and then sell it back at a profit.

Of course, this might be explained by the proliferation of the Ladder Tree, which yields a massive crop of 10 foot ladders as fruit, thereby causing the market value of ladders to plummet

there really isnt anything in the rules that says this is possible.

[Graymayre]

there really isnt anything in the rules that says this is possible.

I cannot imagine a rule book ever explicitely telling someone that they couldn't dissasemble a ladder for parts, no matter what.

[pjackson]

The fact that monks can't dual-wield their bare hands.

They can in 3.5

[Faleldir]

They can in 3.5

Can you tell me where it says that?

[Dogmantra]

Can you tell me where it says that?

Well, Flurry of Blows is basically Two-weapon fighting. You get a bonus attack, and a -2 penalty on all attacks.

Perhaps he was thinking of that.

[averagejoe]

Stupid monsters? Here you go:
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article73.htm
http://www.headinjurytheater.com/article95.htm

You know, I think it has to be said that those monkey bees are pretty cool. Does anyone know what supplement they're from?

[SolkaTruesilver]

Clearly swift actions don't interfere with other actions, but are complex enough that you can only do it once per round anyway. Like changing a combat stance. Or casting a spell really quickly. You can do it while doing other stuff, but you can't do it twice in a row.

Anyway in 3e swift actions are much more valuable than move actions. Go play 4e if you want multiple swift actions per round.

1) No need to get snippy
2) No need to make excuses for a game system that has a ridiculous contrivance
3) The game makes it possible for me to cast 1 Quickened Magic Missile and 1 Regular Magic Missile, but not 2 Quickened Magic Missile. How stupid is THAT?

[Paramour Pink]

Wizards. Warmages. Any magic type is especially ridiculous. But I figure anyone willing to accept them just fine, and yet close the doorways to other high-magic oddities, is being pretty ridiculous themself.

[Morty]

I'm sorry, but nothing weirds me out more than Eberron's Lightning Train. It's a train. A freaking train. In a fantasy setting. The train runs faster and is more reliable than ours! Using "elemental stones". It just boggles the mind.

Dinosaur-riding halflings beat the lightning train every day. For that matter, any dinosaurs, and that includes dinosaur-like humanoids, in any fantasy game are ridiculous. The ones that serve as mounts to halflings are just an extreme exaple.

That ignores the fact that the lightning train is totally awesome.

Stuff that isn't true tends to get ignored.

Wizards. Warmages. Any magic type is especially ridiculous. But I figure anyone willing to accept them just fine, and yet close the doorways to other high-magic oddities, is being pretty ridiculous themself.

What, people still use that argument? I thought it became a dead horse long ago. In either case, there's a world of difference between something that breaks the laws of physics because it's supposed to and something that's just plain ridiculous. Like aforementioned acid-breathing shark or half-dragon celestial bees(I want to use them in an adventure now).