Crack Pairings Matchup Table

[Dark Faun]

I'm half-expecting V to walk in on Inkyrius/Aarindarius when he comes home. The poor elf just can't have a happy ending with me.

No, being in reciprocate love with Miko certainly isn't a happy ending.

[Zanaril]

I'm half-expecting V to walk in on Inkyrius/Aarindarius when he comes home. The poor elf just can't have a happy ending with me.

*Whistles innocently*





Well, it's not going to be quite that simple.

[TooManySecrets]

This is probably why people don't write Xykon crack fics that much. It strains your imagination.

No, it's not all that hard to imagine. There are ways of having sexual intercourse without a penis. Especially if Xykon is the one giving, rather than getting.

...Wait, do we know for sure whether Xykon is male?

[Zanaril]

No, it's not all that hard to imagine. There are ways of having sexual intercourse without a penis. Especially if Xykon is the one giving, rather than getting.

There's also the lack of any flesh whatsoever. I didn't say it was impossible, just there were more limitations.


I'm gonna stop talking now.

...Wait, do we know for sure whether Xykon is male?

RC calls him a he, and knew him before he was a Lich, as well as being involved in the process of lichification. (Is that a real word?)

[TooManySecrets]

RC calls him a he, and knew him before he was a Lich, as well as being involved in the process of lichification. (Is that a real word?)

Yes, but people also call V a "he" and that doesn't mean anything.

Of course, I think that Xykon's pretty obviously male. But then again, I thought the same of V (really surprised when I found out people thought otherwise).

But this is crack pairing, not entirely reasonable and justified by canon pairing! The living picture of Xykon looks ambiguous enough and with a few modifications, voila!

YOU WILL NEVER SEE THIS NOW! (See below)

SHE LIVES!

[Zanaril]

SHE LIVES!

That is... disturbing doesn't quite cut it. But that high Charisma seems to be doing something.


Nevertheless, there are ways of telling whether a skeleton was male or female.

[TooManySecrets]

Nevertheless, there are ways of telling whether a skeleton was male or female.

Which would require both a) medical knowledge not had during historical Middle Ages and b) a comic which had more detail than could be provided by stick figures.

Since we can't know for certain, then the only truth is the one I believe in!


Also, I really amuse myself with Fem!Xykon. The more I look at it, the funnier it gets.

[Dark Faun]

I'm sure Tsukiko's an expert.

I believe directly altering the Giant's artwork is a big no-no on the forums though.

[TheBibliophile]

No, it's not all that hard to imagine. There are ways of having sexual intercourse without a penis. Especially if Xykon is the one giving, rather than getting.

...Wait, do we know for sure whether Xykon is male?

Why? Why do I start these things? WHY???? *weeps into laptop*

I may be away for some time. My laptop's started smoking.

[Zanaril]

I'm sure Tsukiko's an expert.

Tsukiko can only wish she could do a thorough examination.

I believe directly altering the Giant's artwork is a big no-no on the forums though.

And we really don't want to be attracting the Mods' attention unless we have to.

[TooManySecrets]

You know what, crack!me will now make it it's canon that every character who's picture is a bit ambiguous in gender is now whatever gender makes it more disturbing.

Pictures to come!

I believe directly altering the Giant's artwork is a big no-no on the forums though.

[Dark Faun]

You know what, crack!me will now make it it's canon that every character who's picture is a bit ambiguous in gender is now whatever gender makes it more disturbing.

Pictures to come!

W-wait, so you mean Tsukiko's really a crossdresser?!

D;

Dura lex sed lex.

[Zanaril]

There's nothing that says you can't just make the pictures yourself and change them.

[RPGAgmJAY]

Alright, couple questions and... an offer.

Is there a compilation list of these hook-ups?
Is anyone available to draw "hook-up" avatars if we get a good string going?
What are the rules (descriptive sex stuff) for these postings?

My offer is if someone wants a particular pairing done with explicit detail, let me know. I always enjoy a good challenge. I can do things with Xykon that could twist your mind up on it's end. =) Just an example.

Good Gaming!

-Jay

[TooManySecrets]

There's nothing that says you can't just make the pictures yourself and change them.

I'm actually looking for precedence. You can't use OOtS artwork for an avatar. While something like this would definitely fall under parody, this is also Rich's forum so if he doesn't want it, it disappears. I'm a bit loathe to ask a moderator...

Of course, I could just use the official stuff as "inspiration" and make my own (that would technically fall under copyright violation as well, but none of the moderator's have stopped you guys with your signatures?)

I can do things with Xykon that could twist your mind up on it's end. =) Just an example.

NO.

While I wouldn't mind, I also don't want to see it.

In point of fact, you could probably make something more disturbing without actually getting explicit. I mean, there's a set of images that destroyed The Unnameable Image Board. There wasn't even indirect reference to sex and it was highly disturbing. (No gore or anything else like that either).

[Zanaril]

NO.

While I wouldn't mind, I also don't want to see it.

I have to agree with this.

The point of this thread isn't to write porn, it's to ship characters together. Which may involve sex as part and parcel, but the main aim is just to be amusing and have fun.

(In my opinion) any squickyness should be from the wacky pairings, not from graphic descriptions that most of us probably don't want to read and will find uncomfortable.

For reference, the forum rules say that these boards are PG-13 (ish). That means we're allowed to imply things, but not to graphically describe them.

Remember that many of us, myself included, are not adults.

Is there a compilation list of these hook-ups?

Check Lira's posts on page 11.

I'm actually looking for precedence. You can't use OOtS artwork for an avatar. While something like this would definitely fall under parody, this is also Rich's forum so if he doesn't want it, it disappears. I'm a bit loathe to ask a moderator...

Of course, I could just use the official stuff as "inspiration" and make my own (that would technically fall under copyright violation as well, but none of the moderator's have stopped you guys with your signatures?)

From http://www.giantitp.com/forums/annou...t.php?f=25&a=1

Copyrighted Material and OotS Images
Using copyrighted artwork as an avatar is technically illegal unless you have the permission of the copyright holder. Even if the art is modified in some way, the original copyright still stands and you can't use it as an avatar. Rich Burlew has specifically requested that people NOT use his OOTS art as avatar image, other than those he has specifically provided as the default message board avatars. If you want an OOTS-style avatar, there are many burgeoning avatar artists hanging around the Arts and Crafts forum who might make one for you.

Any avatar image that is found to be used without the permission of the copyright holder will be removed. If the creator of an avatar personally approaches the GITP staff and claims that their creation is being used without permission by another poster--as might be the case if they requested credit for the avatar and then were denied such--the Moderators will remove the avatar immediately. The first instance of this will incur a Warning, but should the member reinstate his or her violating avatar or create another avatar that also violates the rules, he or she will be issued an Infraction.

[TooManySecrets]

From http://www.giantitp.com/forums/annou...t.php?f=25&a=1

Yes, using the artwork for avatars is prohibited. Which is the sort of pedantic distinction that lawyers love. Once again, pretty sure that if it was a court of law, it would fall under parody (of OOtS, OOtS fans, and the fan fiction meme in general). But this isn't a court of law. It's somebody forum that we're allowed to use.

So, no modifying the art, just to be safe.

It's also why Inkscape is currently fired up.

[Zanaril]

But this isn't a court of law. It's somebody forum that we're allowed to use.

And it's an important distiction to make. I don't want this thread getting locked because someone misinterprets the intent.



That said, here's more VxZ action!

Spoiler

Show

They had been walking for some time now, following one of the narrower trails at a casual pace, musing over various anecdotes from each other's pasts and enjoying the musky scent of the surrounding forest. They came to a small clearing, the ground covered in thin grass, and sat down to rest, leaning their backs against a tree.

Then Vaarsuvius asked. "Do you love me?"

Surprised at the sudden question, Zz'dtri took a moment before answering it. "I... think I do."

"Think?"

"Don't have much to compare with. You're only person I've known for a long time."

"But what do you see in me? There's countless other people out there, many of whom undoubtedly are more pleasant company that myself."

At that, Zz'dtri leaned over and snuggled into the other elf's shoulder. "I enjoy your company." he said, grinning. "I also think you're clever. But rather than thinking less intelligent people are useless, you do actually seem to care about them. Even if you find them annoying."

"I've been exceptionally unkind to some of my allies in recent months."

"But you try to be nice. And when you're not, you regret it afterwards."

Vaarsuvius sighed. "Recently I think maybe I should have been trying harder. Tell me... do you think there's any long term possibility for our relationship?"

"Don't see why not." He shrugged slightly. "True, maybe at first just needed some company. But now I certainly have strong feelings for you.
"I also find you attractive, of course" he said, stealthily edging a hand closer.

"And I do too, on both counts" Vaarsuvius replied. And then the elf jumped, feeling a hand stroke up one inner thigh, having worked its way into red robes.

V turned to see him grinning once again, and smirked. "Two can play at that game." The elf said, then rolled over onto his lap, catching his other hand playfully. Vaarsuvius brought the hand up and kissed it, before twisting an agile tongue between his fingers. Zz'dtri tilted his head back and moaned softly, but as if not to be outdone he began to move his other hand again, this time upwards. Vaarsuvius laughed, and kissed him passionately.

***

The sun was now lower in the sky, and the air was getting cooler, the shadows that stretched across the two resting figures deepening.

"We always end up outside, don't we." Vaarsuvius remarked, playing with a strand of white hair.

"Or in a cell." Zz'dtri replied

"I think I'd much rather be out here."

"No one to disturb us."

“Haley means well. She just has trouble accepting some things are none of her business.”

“Could be worse.” He raised his head to grin at his lover. “Could have been following us.”

“If she was, I’m sure she left in a hurry some time ago.” V mused, before gently kissing those dark lips.

They lay entwined for some time more, until Zz’dtri said “Should go back now.”

“We’re going to have to explain this to them. I don’t want you getting hurt because of a misunderstanding.”

“Think they’ll listen?”

“If they put up with that psychotic Halfling they’ve got no grounds to reject you.” Vaarsuvius said, untangling their legs and standing up. Zz’dtri caught his robe when it was tossed towards him and pulled it on reluctantly, then went to retrieve his shoes from the other side of the clearing.

[TooManySecrets]

We're back in business, baby! FemLiving!Xykon is here to haunt your dreams.

[Zanaril]

Huh. It's not so bad the second time.

[TheBibliophile]

Awww... V x Z gets cuter by the post, doesn't it?

[TooManySecrets]

Huh. It's not so bad the second time.

Of course not. The damage has already been done.

[Weimann]

...that was hawt

Thanks. I aim to please.

[Taekwondodo]

This was well written, I must say. Defiantely descriptive and fluent. I have problems giving it more critique, because it's... er, so cracky >.> which is the point to be sure, but it still makes it hard to give real feedback. At least for me :P

But it was one of the more compelling homoerotic ones in the thread, for sure.

Thanks! That's all I wanted to hear.

[Zanaril]

Thanks! That's all I wanted to hear.

Putting aside the fact that any pairing with Zz'dtri being adorable automatically gets a thumbs up from me, it is well written.

But ever so cracky. Wait, who am I to talk?

[Dark Faun]

That said, here's more VxZ action!

Everything seems to be going in V's favor... I'm waiting for the other shoe.

We're back in business, baby! FemLiving!Xykon is here to haunt your dreams.

I'm so used to seeing this expression on Belkar, it's not Xykonette I'm seeing but Belkar with a wig, a robe, stilts and some padding.

[Zanaril]

Everything seems to be going in V's favor... I'm waiting for the other shoe.

You do remember where the Order are headed next, don't you?

[Dark Faun]

Yes.

So, V left his kids when their legs were broken and their home was reduced to ashes, and she comes back making out with some drow? Kyrie's gonna sue for a divorce real quick.

Unless elven laws tolerate polygamy.

[TooManySecrets]

Unless elven laws tolerate polygamy.

They tolerate androgyny.

[Zanaril]

They tolerate androgyny.

They don't just tolerate it; they advocate it.