Twilight - Love it, or Hate it?

[Satyr]

I really dont dare much about the books, but ever since a friend of mine - a very intelligent girl otherwise- had a phase of droolin over Edward and not shutting up on it, I fantasize over Max Schreck pummling the sparklepires with the power of being bald and scary. Hell, make it Klaus Kinski. That man was a lot less scarrier when he played a soulless abomination than in real life.

[tribble]

ehhh. I liked the twilight movie. great comedy. that Edward Cullen dude is so funny...eheheheh.

And the sex that eventually occurs in the series leaves our heroine covered in painful bruises. Because that's what the modern woman wants from her lover.

because i'm feeling contrariwise, I'm going to say that some women probably like it rough, and there doesnt have to be anything wrong with that, right?

[Raistlin1040]

No, wannabe Goths want to be goth. Twilight fans are prone to hating on the goths, in my experience. And they're wannabe Emos because Emo is definitely a late 80s offshoot of hardcore punk, and the label got nicked and applied to horrible groups such as Fall Out Boy and Panic at the Disco (which Twilight fangirls LOVE). But we're drifting into another topic.

[Collin152]

Oh, almost forgot--
I'm going to write a musical parody of Twilight, using tounge in cheek musical numbers and dialogue to give the thing a nice thorough bashing.
But I'm afraid to look through it for about 6 points in the... story... that could conceivably be important enough for a song to go there... Maybe one of the less explodey haters can help me?

[tribble]

because it takes an equal and opposite charge of awesome to cancel horribleness, I recommend you put in a Pirates of Penzance thing.

I am the very model of a sociopathic parasite
I've information of a chick who wants a blond hermaphrodite...
I dont know, I'll leave this to better writers than I.
(he said, disqualifying Stephanie Myers.)

[DamnedIrishman]

because i'm feeling contrariwise, I'm going to say that some women probably like it rough, and there doesnt have to be anything wrong with that, right?

Of course there's nothing wrong with that in a healthy relationship where both parties know their boundaries.

But in a relationship between a young woman and a stalkerish man hundreds of years older than her? Hmm...

[DamnedIrishman]

I've information of a chick who wants a blond hermaphrodite...

Androgyne, not hermaphrodite.

[Collin152]

because it takes an equal and opposite charge of awesome to cancel horribleness, I recommend you put in a Pirates of Penzance thing.

I am the very model of a sociopathic parasite
I've information of a chick who wants a blond hermaphrodite...
I dont know, I'll leave this to better writers than I.
(he said, disqualifying Stephanie Myers.)

I was kinda hoping to use more original material. I mean, I might be able to snake my way into making it official, if I can get it just subtle enough. I mean, I have contacts the old cow might care about.

[tribble]

Androgyne, not hermaphrodite.

but Androgyne doesnt rhyme with parasite...
(Im jes wonnerin... is that a hard G, or a soft one?)

[Zombie Nixon]

Twilight is inspiring.

They say all you need to strike it rich is one good idea, but twilight is proof that you can still get rich even if you have a horrible, awful idea.

[Collin152]

Twilight is inspiring.

They say all you need to strike it rich is one good idea, but twilight is proof that you can still get rich even if you have a horrible, awful idea.

And soon, I'll prove you can get rich off of someone else's horrible, awful idea.

[DamnedIrishman]

but Androgyne doesnt rhyme with parasite...
(Im jes wonnerin... is that a hard G, or a soft one?)

Soft, like a J.

and-roh-jine

[Erts]

Nah, Edward was always described as beign as hard as rock.
Ba dum tis.

Heart beats are required to get hard....
Really. It makes no sense.
Also, they killed charecters.

[DamnedIrishman]

Heart beats are required to get hard....
Really. It makes no sense.
Also, they killed charecters.

Innuendo beats common sense. As does the Rule of Cool.

[Collin152]

Heart beats are required to get hard....
Really. It makes no sense.
Also, they killed charecters.

If you're going to pick nits, nothing about vampires makes any sense.

Dead, ergo no metabolism, yet drink blood?

Dead, ergo dead, yet move?

[Lord Seth]

If you're going to pick nits, nothing about vampires makes any sense.

Dead, ergo no metabolism, yet drink blood?

Dead, ergo dead, yet move?

Easy answer: Magic.

Otherwise we're going to have to start wondering how Xykon moves around despite being, y'know, dead.

[chiasaur11]

Easy answer: Magic.

Otherwise we're going to have to start wondering how Xykon moves around despite being, y'know, dead.

O-Chul needed an enemy, and the laws of physics have learned not to disagree with him.

[Collin152]

Easy answer: Magic.

Otherwise we're going to have to start wondering how Xykon moves around despite being, y'know, dead.

In which case, what differance does it make how the vampire can have sex?

[Fan]

In which case, what differance does it make how the vampire can have sex?

Because in all vampire mythos they actually go through the process of dieing, even in Twilight, to become a vampire, and in order for Bella to have gotten pregnant, those fluids which were VOIDED when he died, would have had to been present, and weren't?
Also, Stephine Meyers claims her vampires work by Biology, so we CAN nit pick this.

[Collin152]

Because in all vampire mythos they actually go through the process of dieing, even in Twilight, to become a vampire, and in order for Bella to have gotten pregnant, those fluids which were VOIDED when he died, would have had to been present, and weren't?
Also, Stephine Meyers claims her vampires work by Biology, so we CAN nit pick this.

Well, firstly, that's discussing pregnancy, and I'll be the first one to say that it's more than possible to have sex without there being any chance of pregnancy.
Secondly, considering that, again, the vampires exist in utter defiance of what it means to be dead, it really isn't relevant. It's possible that they metabolise blood into venom and some substitute reproductive fluid. Why else would they need to consume it?
In any event, there's really nothing more unreasonable about this than anything else about vampires, besides the fact that nobody else does it, and what kind of argument is that?

[Fenix_of_Doom]

Another strength of Meyer's writing is her ability to handle supernatural abilities. Many writers have difficulty handling mental powers like telepathy & precognition. Writers tend to forget that their characters have some powers sometimes, or deliberately switch them off when the plot kicks in, lest the powers ruin the storyline. You see it all the time: why didn't Dumbledore or Gandalf or Raistlin or whoever use their power to do X? Because it would've ruined the plot & the story would've stopped then & there, sans climax.

I might have failed my sense sarcasm check but anyway.

You mean like how Edward can read mind except for Bella's? At least that was one of the arguments I heard against twilight.

I'm also curious what instances you refer to when you named Gandalf and Dumbledore, everyting was explained eventually IIRC. The only strange thing I can remember is Gandalf suddenly throwing lightning exactly once in the hobbit.


I personally dislike twilight because I used to have names associated with twilight(the word), now I need to wait at least a decade before the hype moves over before I can use them again without wrong associations.

[Innis Cabal]

Stephine Meyers claims her vampires work by Biology, so we CAN nit pick this.

Then we'd not have a story. She's clearly an idiot

[Kane]

You know... I'd like to think that she could be that stupid, but I just can't believe it.

She didn't really say that, did she?

[The Tygre]

It's so obvious to me now. God intended me to hate this series. From the moment, nay, before I was born, God looked down from on high and declared 'This one will hate Twilight'. As the mongoose must hate the cobra, as meerkat must hate the scorpion, as the great white must hate the killer whale, as the chimpanzee hates the baboon, as the army ant hates... anything that moves too close to it, so must I hate Twilight. It is my purpose.

[KIDS]

The sparkling vampires, mary sues, marty stus and all other stuff mentioned in this thread had a big part in making me dislike Twilight, but it was Vampire Baseball (TM) that put the final nail in the coffin for me. There are just some places where writers/directors shouldn't go, and that is one of them.

[Fan]

Well, firstly, that's discussing pregnancy, and I'll be the first one to say that it's more than possible to have sex without there being any chance of pregnancy.
Secondly, considering that, again, the vampires exist in utter defiance of what it means to be dead, it really isn't relevant. It's possible that they metabolise blood into venom and some substitute reproductive fluid. Why else would they need to consume it?
In any event, there's really nothing more unreasonable about this than anything else about vampires, besides the fact that nobody else does it, and what kind of argument is that?

Except she claims her vampires follow basic biology, so your arguement is moot as per word of the writer they have to follow the most basic laws of boilogy: Voiding the bowels (this includes the testicles), happens to include that, and a substitute fluid wouldn't impregnate a woman anymore then a dog, or any other species could... Also the drink blood to STAY UNDEAD rather then dead, so that blood is already being used. If the Writer says they do you don't get to ignore it simply because it's a negative factor to your support argument Collin.

[Collin152]

Except she claims her vampires follow basic biology, so your arguement is moot as per word of the writer they have to follow the most basic laws of boilogy: Voiding the bowels (this includes the testicles), happens to include that, and a substitute fluid wouldn't impregnate a woman anymore then a dog, or any other species could... Also the drink blood to STAY UNDEAD rather then dead, so that blood is already being used. If the Writer says they do you don't get to ignore it simply because it's a negative factor to your support argument Collin.

I thought we established that the writer is an idiot with no system of internal consistancy.
I fail to see why a non semenal fluid impregnating a woman is any less believable than a dead organism staying not quite alive simply by consuming blood.
The issue here is that "biological vampire" means absolutely nothing here, because these vampires are already biologically impossible--immortality and, as you said, undead, are not biological concepts.
As such, any argument against any one aspect of these vampires is fruitless without attacking the state of vampirism as a whole.

[Fan]

I thought we established that the writer is an idiot with no system of internal consistancy.
I fail to see why a non semenal fluid impregnating a woman is any less believable than a dead organism staying not quite alive simply by consuming blood.
The issue here is that "biological vampire" means absolutely nothing here, because these vampires are already biologically impossible--immortality and, as you said, undead, are not biological concepts.
As such, any argument against any one aspect of these vampires is fruitless without attacking the state of vampirism as a whole.

((Warning, High School health class grade content coming forth))
Well, on that note, Vampirism as a whole is violating the entire concept of biology, but seriously. The egg that a woman puts out during her period is designed to recieve a set of chromosones from a male sperm cell. A non seminal fluid simply cant supply the correct chromosone's to cause a baby to form in the first place. Once something is dead it cant cause something living to create life. That's almost as ridiculous, even by vampire standards, as a ZOMBIE having sex, and impregnating a woman.

[Collin152]

((Warning, High School health class grade content coming forth))
Well, on that note, Vampirism as a whole is violating the entire concept of biology, but seriously. The egg that a woman puts out during her period is designed to recieve a set of chromosones from a male sperm cell. A non seminal fluid simply cant supply the correct chromosone's to cause a baby to form in the first place. Once something is dead it cant cause something living to create life. That's almost as ridiculous, even by vampire standards, as a ZOMBIE having sex, and impregnating a woman.

Remember, again that this entire ordeal was caused by the woman whose grasp of biology was lax enough to let her say that becoming a vampire gives you two extra chromesomes.

And I'm sorry, but I refuse to accept that, in a world where viruses exist to do nothing if not subvert the intended purposes of cells and genetic compositions, it is impossible for a creature that already defies biology in its very existance to do so again by impregnating a woman against all odds.

[Fan]

Remember, again that this entire ordeal was caused by the woman whose grasp of biology was lax enough to let her say that becoming a vampire gives you two extra chromesomes.

And I'm sorry, but I refuse to accept that, in a world where viruses exist to do nothing if not subvert the intended purposes of cells and genetic compositions, it is impossible for a creature that already defies biology in its very existance to do so again by impregnating a woman against all odds.

Except the world is stated to work by all known laws of biology, and science, by the writer herself, so what your saying is that you simply refuse my argument because you don't believe in the laws of biology.
Disbelieving doesn't work in real life Collin.
Also, Vampires ARE possible within biology to a degree, just read I AM LEGEND for a good explanation.