Twilight - Love it, or Hate it?

[Collin152]

Except the world is stated to work by all known laws of biology, and science, by the writer herself, so what your saying is that you simply refuse my argument because you don't believe in the laws of biology.
Disbelieving doesn't work in real life Collin.
Also, Vampires ARE possible within biology to a degree, just read I AM LEGEND for a good explanation.

Except that even though she said that, it's simply not true. There's no way her vampires could operate within the laws of biology. She also said her main character wasn't a self insert, but should we believe that too?
Making attacks on me doesn't make my argument less sound.
And while I doubt those vampires are indeed plausible under commonly accepted biological theory, they're not the subject of dispute here. My point is that Meyer's vampires in no way conform to biology, and thus attacking a specific reason why they do not is nonsensical unless you hold the same disdain for all aspects of their nature.

[DamnedIrishman]

almost as ridiculous, even by vampire standards, as a ZOMBIE having sex, and impregnating a woman.

HAWT. Somebody should request that in the Fanservice thread.

[Verruckt]

Innuendo beats common sense. As does the Rule of Cool.

I know the Rule of Cool has many applications, but I'm pretty sure one of them is not explaining how Edward Cullen violently pummels Bella while implanting her with an evil mind reading chestburster makes love to his wife.

HAWT. Somebody should request that in the Fanservice thread.

I'd like to direct you over to /d/ on one of the darker places of the web, you will leave sated, if not sane.

Any way, can I get some fanart depicting Cassidy and Alucard (horrifyingly overpowered? Yes. Mary Sue? No. He's never really depicted as anything other than the complete monster that he is, other than power lust and a bitchin' hat he has no sympathetic qualities.) Doing what needs to be done with Eddy.

Chiefly nailing him to the roof of a church, and since he won't burn like a proper blood sucker they might need to get inventive with a magnesium flare...

[DamnedIrishman]

I'd like to direct you over to /d/ on one of the darker places of the web, you will leave sated, if not sane.

Psssh. I eat /b/stards for breakfast and use /d/ to floss my teeth. My sanity is unbreakable.

[Collin152]

Lies. What needs to be done to Edward Cullen is making him sing on a broadway stage a la Springtime for Hitler. It will be great.

[DamnedIrishman]

Lies. What needs to be done to Edward Cullen is making him sing on a broadway stage a la Springtime for Hitler. It will be great.

No, we need to flay him then use his skin as a cheap substitute for diamonds.

[Collin152]

No, we need to flay him then use his skin as a cheap substitute for diamonds.

Come now, where's the productivity in that? Why, his skin is made of ink, paper, and film!

[Verruckt]

You know... I'd like to think that she could be that stupid, but I just can't believe it.

She didn't really say that, did she?

Not only did she say it, certain less mentally fortified friends of mine believed her, and trumpeted said "realism" as a praise of the series. Which made me... well...

Spoiler

Show

[neoseph7]

I'm going to discuss first the books, then the movie.

The Books: They lack literary merit. It's true. I'm pretty sure everyone reading it who liked it did so for the love story and the fact that it's an easy read. There are more flaws in the writing and story than I can shake a stick at. But after spending three semesters cuddling with reactor physics books (getting a real college degree. not one of those cracker jack box degrees for which analyzing the literary merit of sparkly vampires means something) an easy romance novel is quite a treat. If I wanted a book to challenge me, I'd play video games instead (oh wait...)

The movie: I don't care how much of a spark Kristen Steward and Rob Pattinson had on their first day in the set. That boy is a loooooser. With a bad hair cut. And Rosaline was supposed to be hot. I feel cheated!

[The Tygre]

Good, good. Now let the hatred flow through you...

[DamnedIrishman]

Good, good. Now let the hatred flow through you...

And hatred leads to the Dark Side! Which, I would argue, would be liking the Twilight books.


They don't deserve the respect of your hatred. They deserve your contempt and possibly your disgust and loathing.

[mercurymaline]

Because in all vampire mythos they actually go through the process of dieing, even in Twilight, to become a vampire, and in order for Bella to have gotten pregnant, those fluids which were VOIDED when he died, would have had to been present, and weren't?
Also, Stephine Meyers claims her vampires work by Biology, so we CAN nit pick this.

If all they consume is blood, all their fluids are blood. Semen, saliva, skin oils, etc. They'd be a big bloody mess. Biologically.

<.<
>.>

That is all.

[Collin152]

If all they consume is blood, all their fluids are blood. Semen, saliva, skin oils, etc. They'd be a big bloody mess. Biologically.

<.<
>.>

That is all.

Which would imply that nothing happens to the blood, in which case, why are they consuming it?
No, the only fluids these vampires secrete at all are venom and something capable of impregnating women. The only thing they consume is blood. Bob's your uncle, Fanny's your aunt...

[Erts]

It comes down to the fact that to impregnate someone, a certain organ must become erect, and to become erect, it fills with blood. From a heart.

Enough with the biological stuff.

These aren't vampires. They are mockery's of horror.
The author has never has a decent charecter flaw in them! And, there is no depth to them either.

[DamnedIrishman]

It comes down to the fact that to impregnate someone, a certain organ must become erect, and to become erect, it fills with blood. From a heart.

Enough with the biological stuff.

These aren't vampires. They are mockery's of horror.
The author has never has a decent charecter flaw in them! And, there is no depth to them either.

I see plenty of character flaws. I just don't think the author intended them.

Or realised them, for that matter.

[Collin152]

It comes down to the fact that to impregnate someone, a certain organ must become erect, and to become erect, it fills with blood. From a heart.

Enough with the biological stuff.

These aren't vampires. They are mockery's of horror.
The author has never has a decent charecter flaw in them! And, there is no depth to them either.

...No, that's not right.
See, when you say, "it comes down to", you state a fact that then logically leads to all other points; the top of the tree, the base of the river, etc.
Inability to get an erection? Not the crux of the issue.

Furthermore, you don't need a heartbeat to get an erection. It just needs to fill with blood. Gravity does this well when the blood has nowhere better to be. It's a common effect in hanged men.
But if we're splitting hairs, there are much bigger problems in their impossible biologies.

[The Glyphstone]

http://xkcd.com/591/

A more perfect moment could not exist.

[Starscream]

http://xkcd.com/591/

A more perfect moment could not exist.

I was just about to post that. As always, xkcd hits the nail on the head.

Now the question is: which one of us is secretly Randall Munroe?

[thegurullamen]

http://xkcd.com/591/

A more perfect moment could not exist.

Here's here, isn't he? One of us is Randall Monroe and just wrote a comic based on this discussion that he just now posted.

EDIT: Ninja'd by the red, chimichanga-eater above me.

[Collin152]

Whoever he is, he really needs to stop following me around. He keeps doing that! It's almost troublesome, but so darn clever. I wonder who he is.

[chiasaur11]

I was just about to post that. As always, xkcd hits the nail on the head.

Now the question is: which one of us is secretly Randall Munroe?

Well, he's ex NASA.

Anyone here ex NASA?

[Starscream]

Whoever he is, he really needs to stop following me around. He keeps doing that! It's almost troublesome, but so darn clever. I wonder who he is.

You think he's following you? I'm a computer science student. Every time I learn something (which has been known to happen on an almost monthly basis) it shows up in a strip the very next day.

It's like he's scrying me. I hope he doesn't start adding facial features to his characters, because I just know I'll actually turn up in the strip. And if it gets deleted, I'll probably keel over dead.

[Collin152]

You think he's following you? I'm a computer science student. Every time I learn something (which has been known to happen on an almost monthly basis) it shows up in a strip the very next day.

It's like he's scrying me. I hope he doesn't start adding facial features to his characters, because I just know I'll actually turn up in the strip. And if it gets deleted, I'll probably keel over dead.

Good lord... he's everywhere!

[Hadrian_Emrys]

Robert and Kristen: Celeb Antis?


Twilight dawns
But star Kristen Stewart is too sensible to be fazed by the cult-like hysteria.
Jamie Portman , Canwest News Service
Published: Wednesday, November 19, 2008
She didn't know the book, and at first she didn't even want to do the film version, even though it promised to be a surefire hit.

She may be the object of cult frenzy, but don't expect her to be drawn into it. She'll maintain her distance, thank you very much.

And no, she's definitely not into vampires - not even young, handsome and soulful ones.
Kristen Stewart only turned 18 a few months ago, but that doesn't stop her from speaking her mind about everything from sexual attraction to the clamour of expectation over the arrival of her new movie, Twilight, which opens at midnight tonight, in which she plays Bella, a lonely high school girl who falls for Edward, a morose but alluring vampire portrayed by Robert Pattinson.

Kristen Stewart is Bella, a lonely high school girl who falls for a dishy vampire in Twilight, based on the popular book.
Peter Sorel

She doesn't mind being provocative in her views - which might dismay the huge international fan base for Stephenie Meyer's best-selling quartet of novels about vampirism in the Pacific Northwest. For example, don't expect Stewart to get all gushy and gooey about the romance between Bella and Edward.

"I'm interested in unhealthy, neurotic people," she says flatly. "That's what I found in both the characters.
"The power balance is really interesting because you have this one (Edward) who's really perfect, but he's the one who's really afraid and tortured and not confident ... She (Bella) is the sure-footed strong woman who at the same time is willing to subject herself and give up power. The most powerful, strong thing you can do is to relinquish that, and I think an innately female quality is to say - OK, I don't need this but you can have it, big man."

Still Stewart didn't want to do Twilight on the basis of the synopsis initially sent her.
"This one was like forced on me ... and I was like: Wow! That's not what I'm into doing. I don't want to be part of something that's presenting this ideological idea of what love is to such young girls. I just didn't like that, It was very shallow and vain to me. She's in love with this guy because he's the hottest thing she's ever seen. That's not what I'm into."


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hz5hNRW9RKg
0:53 He mentions how the Edward character is flawed, but that Bella ignores all of said imperfections.

1:45 "He's not that great a guy at all, it's just how she sees him."

3:16 *from his perspective as Ed* "-and it's like: there's definitely something wrong with her, and there's very obviously something wrong with me."

4:17 "There's so much to the story that it's kind of melodramatic in a way. It's like: Life. Or. Death. All the time"

4:30 "It's always such a bizarre situation for him especially. I mean, he's like 'what am I doing with this kid? I'm 108 years old and I've fallen in love with this girl who sits next to me in biology.'"

I get the impression from this interview alone that he's just as confused as the rest of us about what makes this story so great. =P


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fREjp...eature=related
4:44 Kristen basically says that out of the 498 pages of information, everything that mattered had been put into the movie. That's... not exactly high praise for a book.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YQVw...eature=related
1:19 Every single stupi- every paragraph is like a, thing, um. I remember I stopped reading it when it said that even in the rain he looked like he was in an underwear commercial or something..."

He then continues that his initial impression of the role would have to be a little silly / campy or something.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Hu5w...eature=related
He begins responding to the interviewer by saying that since this is all from Bella's perspective, his character could be anybody because this is just Bella seeing a creature, and anyone you're in love with you can't see their flaws.


(As a side note, I got started on this project simply because I kept bumping into signs that the theory named in the thread title is true. Now... I keep watching these bloody clips because Rob sounds like a really cool guy despite being a lazy slob. I totally would hang with him so long as I got to drive, and he didn't smell too musky.)


There is the crowning glory interview that sparked this whole search, that I have now lost, in which Rob starts in on the book and how it reads like Meyer's sick private fantasy and how much he dislikes the character he plays. I'm SO (=P) broken up over the loss of the link. It was the best laugh I'd had in a few days though.

In any case, here's my little black gem for you lot to take as you will. I'm not intending to offend with this so much as I've been having fun looking things up and I wanted to share with non-antis since hearing the same old series bashing comments and raw hatred gets old. Fans, please consider this a tongue in cheek jab with no real venom behind it. I really am just having some fun with you all. XD

PS: I feel dirty for my newfound fondness of Rob's mentality and attitude though. That will haunt me for Bawb knows how long. >_<

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=D8BxWZ...eature=related

XD hahahahaha

^The above is taken from my mega post at the bellaandedward forum. My zeal has died down a lot since I did the research, and I'm looking forward to seeing the next movie. It's the series I love to hate, but I find myself eager to see how the screenplays will continue to improve upon the bland base material.

[Collin152]

Hadrian! You support my efforts of writing a musical parody, right?

[Kane]

I only let him hang around because he keeps the velociraptors away.

[chiasaur11]

I only let him hang around because he keeps the velociraptors away.

Well, it's more the grape juice.

He just steals the credit on that one.

[Talwar]

Issues of biology and relationships aside, why would anybody pretend to be a teenager and endure decades of high school when one could pose as a youngish-looking recent grad instead?

[Hadrian_Emrys]

Hadrian! You support my efforts of writing a musical parody, right?

Hell yeah I'm for it! Call it: "Sparkle Motion" or "Dazzle!"

[Collin152]

Hell yeah I'm for it! Call it: "Sparkle Motion" or "Dazzle!"

Well, any self respecting musical has an exclamation point in the title.
I'm suddenly struck by the thought of calling it "Forks!" and giving it a mild country theme...