Dogmantra's Dastardly, Despotic and Dangerous Random Banter #122

[Phase]

A taxi driver ripped me off, and everything is long and boring. Thank Io for the internet.

[Nameless]

Due to my boredom, I shal type with my head;

hhjyu7jkkljhhgfgtrfr

YAY!

[billtodamax]

Everything on my face hurts. I can't communicate better than a grunt.

[Nameless]

Everything on my face hurts. I can't communicate better than a grunt.

*puts a plaster on your face*

[Rutskarn]

I was bored, so I typed this with my nose.

[billtodamax]

Rutskarn's like a nose ninja. O.o

[SDF]

Anyone want to guess what I used to type this

[billtodamax]

Toes! You totally used your toes.

[Neko Toast]

How about typing with one's eyes closef?

[Nameless]

Anyone want to guess what I used to type this

Trouser Titan? Someone had to say it...

[A Rainy Knight]

IK trty;ped tnhjs wkithnj a ar opf larghe siperbgval;sas. IKt dsiodsnmj'rt emnds well.

(I typed this with a pair of large superballs. It didn't end well. )

[SDF]

Trouser Titan? Someone had to say it...

No, I typed it with my hands like a normal person, but that was the mental image I was going for.

[Coidzor]

...Silliness! Silliness I say!For one thing, that's just unpleasant to do.

I had my first, almost ran off the road experience today. That was fun.

Car seemed like it was drifting a lot more than usual today too, which had me on edge about compensating for it so as not to drift out of my lane...

[Groundhog]

Well, as long as you didn't crash through the guardrail and into the nearby ravine, I suppose that could be rather exhilarating.

[Rutskarn]

Got some big toe action right here.

[dish]

The kitten's crying like his heart's about to break.

[Player_Zero]

I don't believe kittens can cry.

[FoE]

So I was at the checkout at the grocery store today and there was this old guy behind me. He made a comment about the weather to somebody else in the line and the person was like "Hmmm?" Clearly the old guy, who I will for some reason name Zeke, decided his first victim was hard of hearing and decided to bother someone else. Namely me.

I remember little about Zeke except that his shirt was red or pink, and that his grey hair was short. Oh yeah, and he was totally bats**t crazy.

I don't know what I was smoking today, but for some reason I tried swiping my debit card the wrong way at the debit machine. I was about to fly into a murderous rage when the cashier corrected me and I paid my bill.

So Zeke makes a joke about swiping the card right or something and I chuckle. Zeke takes this as an invitation to invade my personal space. You know that Seinfeld episode about "close talkers," the people who stand NOSE TO NOSE with you while they're speaking? Zeke's one of those guys.

You know what Zeke wants to talk about? Plastic cards.

You know what he heard? That ladies don't wear out plastic cards because they're carry them in their purses, whereas men carry them in their wallets and sit on them.

"Yeah, I never really thought about it. I confess it's never kept me up at n—"

"So I wonder if that's true of all plastic cards or just the olders ones. Because one time I couldn't use my social insurance card and my credit card and it was because I SAT ON THEM."

Uh-huh. So I'm trying to back away and Zeke keeps up with me. I sort of manage to manuever him so I'm no longer able to count his nose hairs. But Zeke keeps on walking with me, talking about the quality of plastic in ID cards and some other nonsense!

He's ahead of me and he's walking backwards and talking at the same time! He keeps up with me as I walk out of the store and into the parking lot!

Does Zeke have any groceries, you ask? No! He apparently just wanders up to people in grocery stores and starts badgering them for no reason! I guess it's his hobby or something!

So here I am debating whether or not I should walk back to my car and whether I can use the box of Pepsi cans I just purchased to club Zeke to death should I need a weapon. Fortunately, he says "Goodbye" and wanders off to join up with some other old guy. I wonder if this is Zeke's brother or friend and if he's ever been tempted to smother old Zeke in his sleep if he goes into another goddamn rant about plastic cards.

Anyways, that was the story of how I'm incredibly intolerant of the mentally ill.

I also got caught in the rain taking baseball pictures despite the fact there's been a two-month drought going on, and because of the drought they cancelled the fireworks display slated for Canada Day tomorrow. So I guess it hasn't been the greatest day.

Oh well. This picture of Kissing Prairie Dogs always cheers me up.

[Rutskarn]

I don't believe kittens can cry.

My personal experience has suggested, if not technically proven, that they cannot.

Anyway, I just want you to know that I am a goddamn idiot. I'm already trying to pursue too many wait-wait-I-have-this-awesome-idea-for-a-series projects, and now I just started another one.

I really need to get a schedule to manage these, or else none of them are gonna get done.

[Phase]

Anyway, I just want you to know that I am a goddamn idiot. I'm already trying to pursue too many wait-wait-I-have-this-awesome-idea-for-a-series projects, and now I just started another one.

I really need to get a schedule to manage these, or else none of them are gonna get done.

Eh, looks to be a good one. Plus, you have the whole summer, eh?

[Vizen]

*snip*

Sounds familiar to me, except, I'm the Cashier in your story. You'd be surprised at the number of people who swipe their cards the wrong way first. I'm tempted to count how many times I have to tell people to turn their card the other way this week, just out of curiousity.

EDIT: I also had to do the closing calls tonight, which shatters my nerves. I'm not good at addressing the whole store over the P.A. about things. Calling Grocery on line 4? Easy. Attention customers blah blah blah license plate number blah blah blah left lights on blah blah blay enjoy your evening? Shake like a leaf.

[Coidzor]

My personal experience has suggested, if not technically proven, that they cannot.

Anyway, I just want you to know that I am a goddamn idiot. I'm already trying to pursue too many wait-wait-I-have-this-awesome-idea-for-a-series projects, and now I just started another one.

I really need to get a schedule to manage these, or else none of them are gonna get done.

Got a dartboard?

Hmm. I think I might have a forum habit.

[Phase]

Got a dartboard?

Hmm. I think I might have a forum habit.

By which you mean you're addicted to the forum? Or do you mean something completely different?

[Mauve Shirt]

Anyway, I just want you to know that I am a goddamn idiot. I'm already trying to pursue too many wait-wait-I-have-this-awesome-idea-for-a-series projects, and now I just started another one.

I really need to get a schedule to manage these, or else none of them are gonna get done.

I do this ALL THE TIME! I get so many excellent project ideas that none of them get finished. Even the ones I've been paid for usually accidentally get second tier to my latest OMG BESTIDEAEVAR

[Mr. Mud]

Ooh, what are you using them for?

This sort of thang.

[Dogmantra]

I just got back from London.
I went to see Spinal Tap play their one night only World Tour.

THEY WERE AWESOME.

[Cristo Meyers]

Ahhhh, Spinal Tap..."We pretend to be a rock band, and they pretend to like us. It's great!"

[Dogmantra]

Interesting fact about Spinal Tap:
Whenever they play, they're supported by the Folksmen, who are them in different costumes, from a different (but almost as good) film: A Mighty Wind. They have been booed offstage as the Folksmen because the audience wanted Spinal Tap.

They wanted them to go backstage, change costumes, then come back onstage.
People are weird

[Cristo Meyers]

Interesting fact about Spinal Tap:
Whenever they play, they're supported by the Folksmen, who are them in different costumes, from a different (but almost as good) film: A Mighty Wind. They have been booed offstage as the Folksmen because the audience wanted Spinal Tap.

They wanted them to go backstage, change costumes, then come back onstage.
People are weird

You're assuming said people actually realized that both bands are the same set of actors. Never underestimate the obliviousness of people.

[Dogmantra]

I suppose so. I mean, I do know all the words to every single Folksmen song...
Some people didn't know who they were, I'm sure of it.

Though I was disappointed when they didn't end with the explosion of the drummer...