Still Not Safe #2 [M&M 2nd ed]

[Cubey]

Todd's targets were too surprised to react. Takeshi looks mostly unphased, maybe slightly disgusted (but he didn't oppose, although that might've been because he was one of the first victims), and leaves shortly thereafter. Usagi and Kazuma look uncomfortably embarassed after the act, and Akira is puzzled.
"What's up with this guy?"
Unsurprisingly, the only one who didn't mind in the slightest was the energetic Akiho.

As for Laura, the blush doesn't leave her face but neither does a light smile, as if she enjoyed the hug.

Later, during the early afternoon, each one of you is seperately approached by a person in a SECT uniform.
"Hello. You're supposed to have an appointment with miss Eleonore Darius, the psychologist. She's free to see you now, but if you're busy then you can come to her later."
(Each of you is approached on a slightly different time, and if you're in a group during that time then only one person is asked to come at a time. But everyone received the info anyway, so everyone should react.)

[Matar]

Todd nods his head, giving up his relentless hugging to go see the psychologist. About how many people did he manage hug? It didn't matter much, but he kept track of the number... for some reason.

When he enter the psychologist office, he gives a wave and greets her in his usual fashion.

"'Why 'ello there!" He plops himself down in a nearby chair, with all the grace of a drunken bull "My name is Todd, but I'm sure you knew that already. So, I'm here for an evaluation or something, right?"

[kamikasei]

The messenger finds Cat in the pool, alone unless anyone decided to tag along - she didn't try to gather people. "I should finish up here - I'll be a little while," she tells him. "Better let the next person go ahead of me."

It's not a blow-off, though, and she does indeed make her way to the psychiatrist's office once she's completed her lengths and dried off (and changed, although showing up in a swimsuit would probably have served as effective diversion from any of her real emotional problems in to entirely irrelevant ones).

[Tengu_temp]

Emi stays in her room so far, so the officer probably knocked to her door.
"Um, hi. Thanks for the information, I'll visit her later."
When I feel like it, to be exact. Which probably means never - that's just a waste of time, I don't need any psychological help! Just leave me alone...
She waits until the SECT officer goes away, then returns to her guitar.

[Haven]

Lorne visits Laura with the rest of the team and is generally supportive, though a bit too nervous in the close proximity of all these people to do anything besides smile at her and wave. When Todd starts giving out hugs, Lorne escapes while Todd's busy squeezing someone else.

He's in the laboratory when the messenger stops by. Lorne knows he should be analyzing the data from the fights against the Thoughts shifters and 02A and B, but he can't really stand to review those scenes just yet...instead, he's working by himself on a comparatively trivial mechanical project. On hearing the message, Lorne nods, finishes the step he's on, and then heads for the psychologist's office.

[Drascin]

When Todd tries to hug him, he finds a big hand on his forehead preventing him from doing so, as Andy takes advantage of his superior height and weight to stop him like an older brother would do to his little little sister.

"Sorry, dude, counterspell" he grins slyly.

--------------

For the following day, Andy was mostly thinking. He walked around, and read a bit, but for the most part, it was all done with an absent expression that said very clearly that for Andy the real world right now was not much more than a place to go visit, since his mind was very busy laboring elsewhere.

In this he is, when the messenger finds him. "Mmmm?" he snaps out of it. "Oh, right. The psychologist. Yeah, I'm coming". He heads there with his usual leisurely pace.

[Cubey]

The room that you are led to is arranged to be warm and comfortable. The psychologist waiting for you is a woman around 30 years old, with warm brown eyes and red hair in a style that reminds you of Akiho, only grown up and more motherly understanding rather than unfailingly energetic.

"Hello. I'm glad to see you here." She starts, and her voice sounds a bit like the mission control lady. Is it coincidence?
"Please, have a sit. Yesterday must have been a hard day for you... could you tell me about it? Tell me how you felt?"

(Everyone enters the room seperately, so each of you sees no one else inside but the psychologist. Also, if you want to lie, roll Bluff. And roll high.)

[ChronicLunacy]

Ben Brooks

When Todd attempts a hug, Ben whacked him over the head with a bed pan. <SPANG!!!> He bid the others goodbye and headed to his psych appointment. He'd learned after all the years he'd been a part of SECT that it was infinitely better to just get it over with early instead of making them hunt you down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hello. I'm glad to see you here." She starts, and her voice sounds a bit like the mission control lady. Is it coincidence?
"Please, have a sit. Yesterday must have been a hard day for you... could you tell me about it? Tell me how you felt?"

Ben suppressed a sigh. Here we go again... "Actually, I didn't really know Miss Heinrich at all. It was hard to watch, and I guess we couldn't really help but feel responsible, but I know it was the SE that did it. We stopped it. It was a tragedy, but we got the monster. Just like we got the last one, and like we'll get the next one, and the next one, and so on. I'm going to do my job, save the world as many times as I have to. You guys should know that about me by now. You trained me to handle this sort of thing after all." he said, shrugging.

[Matar]

Todd nods his head and starts to speak. "Well, proud mostly. As well as being slightly annoyed. Alot of good people gave there lives for humanity, that's something to feel proud of, ya know? True blue hero's, body and soul. But... well, this whole thing could have been avoided. I mean, it was really damn obvious that something was going to go wrong. Things like that always do."

[kamikasei]

Cat looks a little uncertain - and hopes the shrink will think it's nerves rather than worry that she might inadvertently reveal something about the videos they saw that she's supposed to be keeping secret.

"I'm disappointed we couldn't do more... but though it's a shame what happened, I think we did a lot of good. It was hard to see so many people had died, but that wasn't something we could prevent... maybe we could have done more for Miss Heinrich, but there's no point beating ourselves up over it, right?

"I know it's a big upset to our plans for Alexander, but really I think we just got unlucky... the first SE it faced was one that could go right around it. For the future, I'm more worried about some of the others maybe beating themselves up too much over what happened than about the SEs or our weapons against them being more of a problem.

"And Ascension... well, they're crazy, right? And they're going to say crazy things. It'll cause some hassle, but ultimately, we're trying to protect everyone from alien monsters and they're trying to persuade people they should just go and die happily... I think that's a PR battle we can win, and meanwhile I just want to focus on training and preparing so we can do our jobs properly and not worry about all that other stuff."

[Haven]

"I've been worrying...ever since yesterday, that the rest of the team thinks I'm a monster. Though it is...probably unfounded, I still--I carried on exactly as I was right after Miss Heinrich's death. It's because...I didn't want anyone to die, since we were still in potentially hostile territory. And I wanted to try to protect them from having to think about it...I suppose I was doing the same for myself, really.

"Because, no matter how much Emi beats herself up over it--it really was my fault, Miss Heinrich's death. It would have been so easy for me to get her out of the room, and if I'd asked someone else to they would have--they were all listening to me, which rather surprised me, but at the same time...that's why I have to take responsibility."

He leans back and stares at the ceiling.

[Cubey]

Here's what the shrink has to say to each of you.

Ben:
"Like you said, it is the SE that did it, not you. Do not feel responsible for what happened, and I'm glad you don't beat yourself up for it, so don't try to start, okay?"
"While you are here, is there anything else you would like to tell me?"
Apparently her mind is already made up on you having not being traumatized because of what happened. Or at least that's the impression you get.

Todd:
"Of course, we are proud of those who sacrificed themselves. But I'm sure everyone would prefer if they survived. This applies to you too, don't try to sacrifice your own life during a mission, okay? What's in the past is done already, but we don't want anyone to die if it can be avoided."

Cat:
"That's right, don't feel bad about what happened. You and your friends are an incredible help to us, and if it wasn't for you then the whole situation would end badly. Sometimes you are fortunate, and sometimes not. This was one of the more unfortunate times, but you saved it as much as you could."
"I'm glad you try not to worry about the Thoughts. It'd be a lie to say they're not a danger, but it's a danger we try to minimize and keep everyone safe. And out of all people, you are the ones we keep safest."
"Is there something else you'd like to tell me? You look like something is worrying you."

Lorne:
"I don't think they believe you to be a monster... you remained calm in a stressful situation. Keeping your cool under pressure is something to be proud about, not ashamed of. Your friends understand that, and even if some of them don't then we'll just have to make them understand, right?" The psychologist smiles, as the last sentence's second part was said in a half-joking tone.
"Don't worry about what you didn't do. It's in the past, there is no need to beat yourself up over it. It's easy to come up with options of what you 'could' do in hindsight, when you give it a lot of thought. But during your mission the situation is always changing, you have to react quickly and can't be always sure if the thing you're doing is the best course of action. You have to do what you think is best at the moment, and I think that's what you did. Nobody has to take responsibility of the mission, even if humans died - someone would if it was their fault, but what happened was not your fault, but the SE's."

[Drascin]

"Honestly? I felt angry. Very much so" Andy says simply. "And that's bad. You know, my role in this thing is to play the tank - take the hits and return them with interest. But I was so angry I completely forgot about the first part" he clicks his tongue, annoyed with himself. "I should have realized when the first weapon that came to mind was Fragarach, honestly, and taken a chill pill. But, you know, the whole mindrape thing unnerves me a lot. I like my brain, you know? And I can't help but presume it's the same for others. So seeing people controlled like puppets... brrr"

"But still, no excuses, really. I should've been covering Patricia, but I was too much of an idiot to do it" he doesn't sound angsty. Determined, more like. Andy's reaction to psychological pushing is generally anger, not sadness. "Not much I can do to make it up to her, now, and I hate that. But I'm pretty sure she would chuck a stone at me from Heaven if I go all angsty, so what I gotta do is make sure it doesn't happen next time".

[kamikasei]

"Well..." Cat stalls, "I guess I'm just worried about Devon, and Todd, and what they might do, or what the others might do in reaction... they both seem determined to act like idiots and have everyone else do the same, I'm afraid it's only going to make things worse for people who already put themselves under too much pressure."

Spoiler

Show

This is true, but also a dodge, so Bluff - (1d20+8)[27]

[Cubey]

Andy:
"No, there is no need for excuses. It's natural to get angry in situations like the one you experienced. So an excuse isn't needed, because everyone should understand it. You only have to try not to let this anger take control over you."
"But even if you lost yourself to anger, nobody blames you for what happened. You had no preparation or prior knowledge of that SE, you had no way to predict what it's going to do. You could only react to changing circumstances, and you did the best you could've done, considering how dangerous the mission was."
"You shouldn't hate yourself for not being able to do anything now. Patricia... miss Heinrich wouldn't want that. She wouldn't blame you for her death either, she was not that kind of a person. It may seem it's too late to do anything for her, but you can remember her, her actions and how she paid the ultimate sacrifice to defend the humankind. It may not seem much... but it is."

Cat:
"Oh, is that it? Everyone has their problems, but I think Todd won't do anything stupid or inappropriate concerning this last mission of yours. He was very impressed with everyone involved when I talked with him. As for Devon..." For the first time, miss Darius looks reluctant.
"She never visited me, even when told to. I doubt she's going to do it now, when SECT has so little control over her actions. And that's a shame. She's a very troubled young woman, and she really needs help. Especially now - she may look like she has some kind of a secret plan or ulterior motive, but if you ask me, she's just very lost. Ah, how unprofessional - I really shouldn't talk about people other than my current visitor. Is there something else that worries you?"

[Haven]

Nobody has to take responsibility of the mission, even if humans died - someone would if it was their fault, but what happened was not your fault, but the SE's."

"The commander said the same thing." Lorne half-smiles.

"I know...I understand what you mean, intellectually, but all the same it was...I never saw anyone dead, or anyone die until yesterday. It's...I still feel a little sick, actually. I had to tell some men that all their friends were dead...don't think I did it very well, all things considered.

"And I know I did what I had to, and I'm glad of it, but it does seem rather disrespectful of me. Not to have given Miss Heinrich a moment of silence, or something. They probably think I don't care for neglecting that..."

[Matar]

Todd:
"Of course, we are proud of those who sacrificed themselves. But I'm sure everyone would prefer if they survived. This applies to you too, don't try to sacrifice your own life during a mission, okay? What's in the past is done already, but we don't want anyone to die if it can be avoided."

"Ah, well. I don't plan on dying unless it can't be avoided. So that works out fine and everything. Nothing sucks more then a pointless sacrifice, ya know?"

Todd laughs a little and continues on.

"Sorry man, I'm not really too sure what I should say. Which is a first, to be sure. My passion normally lets words flow off my tongue like a river into the ocean! But eh... I don't have much to say. The last mission didn't effect me, really. My mind... doesn't work like other peoples. Hell, neither does my body. Honestly, I'd be more worried about Emi. She's... not cut out for this."

[TooManySecrets]

"Hello. I'm glad to see you here." She starts, and her voice sounds a bit like the mission control lady. Is it coincidence?
"Please, have a sit. Yesterday must have been a hard day for you... could you tell me about it? Tell me how you felt?"

(Everyone enters the room seperately, so each of you sees no one else inside but the psychologist. Also, if you want to lie, roll Bluff. And roll high.)

"I dunno. It's a bit hard talking about stuff like this to someone I just met, you know. I mean, being open is nice and all, but would you tell your true feelings to somebody you know nothing about?"

[Cubey]

Lorne:
"Witnessing death is never easy, especially for the first time. And it happened only yesterday for you, so it's natural that you still feel sick about it. Give it some time and try not to think about it too much - you'll feel better with each day, unless you let the despair consume you."
"I don't think you were disrespectful. You all were in a dangerous situation, honoring the dead should be left for times when you're sure you are safe. That would be after the mission. You weren't uncaring, you were reasonable."

Todd:
"I see. There is a personal strength in not having an emotional reaction to stress, as long as you realize intellectually that wrong things happened, you just don't let them affect you in a negative way. Do you have anything else that you would like to talk about?"

Sara:
"I may be a complete stranger to you, but I am still the headquarter's psychological help. So I'm not a random person off the street, but rather a trained professional, if I may say so. And some people find it easier to discuss their feelings with unknown strangers rather than with someone they already know. I'm here to help and what will be said in this room will remain between us, so try to open up. If you have anything that worries you, it will really help you feel better."

Emi:
Some time later, she hears a knock to her door.
"Hello. My name is Eleonore, I am the base's psychologist. May I come in?"

[kamikasei]

"Is there something else that worries you?"

"Well..." Cat chews her lip. "I'm not worried about Thoughts of Ascension, as in how to fight them or anything. But I am a little worried about my family. I said I'd do this press conference, and on top of the risk of screwing up and saying something that'll get quoted out of context on all the news networks or get a techno remix on YouTube, it'll put my name out there... but I'm sure SECT have good security in place, and it's not like I'm any better able to look after myself anyway, if I'm surprised or caught without my amplifier." She sighs. "It's just hard... I can knuckle down and do what I have to do myself, but it endangers my parents too, and I can't even tell them what exactly I'm doing.

"But it's fine!" she adds hastily. "I mean, I knew what I was signing up for. And it's not all bad. I get to feel like I'm doing something important. And a lot of the people here are so nice." This is not entirely insincere, even though it's obviously fairly automatic pleasantries.

[Drascin]

Andy:
"No, there is no need for excuses. It's natural to get angry in situations like the one you experienced. So an excuse isn't needed, because everyone should understand it. You only have to try not to let this anger take control over you."
"But even if you lost yourself to anger, nobody blames you for what happened. You had no preparation or prior knowledge of that SE, you had no way to predict what it's going to do. You could only react to changing circumstances, and you did the best you could've done, considering how dangerous the mission was."

Andy shakes his head. "Actually, gotta disagree there Doc, somebody does blame me. Mostly, I do. I could have saved her. And you improve by seeing what you could have done better, and then doing it. Saying "it wasn't my fault, I could do nothing, wah, wah" isn't my style. And it would be disrespectful as ***** with the people that died if I did not improve on what I did yesterday" He looks solemn, which is very rare in him.

"You shouldn't hate yourself for not being able to do anything now. Patricia... miss Heinrich wouldn't want that. She wouldn't blame you for her death either, she was not that kind of a person. It may seem it's too late to do anything for her, but you can remember her, her actions and how she paid the ultimate sacrifice to defend the humankind. It may not seem much... but it is."

Andy nods. "Yeah, that much is obvious. I'm not going to forget it, trust me. I have always tried to be a hero, but Patricia simply was. That's not something you forget easily" he sounds almost pained. Man... five goddamned hours chained to the ****ing alien. The mere act of thinking about it makes him wince. It has to have been horrible. And she didn't so much as say ouch. Brrrr.

[Cubey]

Cat:
"I don't want to worry you, but we should be realistic - if the Thoughts want to know about your identities and relatives, they probably are already aware of them by now. They do not need media conferences to discover that."
"But you bring a good point. SECT should provide security for your families, now that Thoughts of Ascension are actively working and at large. I'll remind Commander Richard, in case he forgot."

Andy:
"You're the only one who blames yourself. It's a vicious circle - you feel bad, so you blame yourself, so you feel even worse, and blame yourself even more. Even if what happened really wasn't the result of bad luck or unexpected powers the SE had, even if it was because you made a mistake... then you should admit that you made the mistake and do your best to try to do better the next time. But don't beat yourself up over it, it will only make what happened even worse. So try not to feel bad - forge these feelings, negative emotions, into determination to get better."

[TooManySecrets]

Sara shakes her head. "Call it a quirk and call me eccentric, Eleanor, but tell me at least something about yourself. I'm sure you've already read my file forwards and backwards, so call it a reciprocated favor. Like, how long have you been working at SECT, at least?"

[Cubey]

The psychologist nods.
"Of course, you're free to ask whatever you want about me. I hope for sincerity, so I should offer it as well. Before I started my work with SECT, I was supervising soldiers that returned home from peacekeeping missions. Post-traumatic stress disorder, similar afflictions - I was monitoring them to see if they develop any. That was my job for several years, even after SECT was formed. Commander Richard hired me about half a year after the organisation was created. We met before, albeit only once and briefly, but I think I left an impression of trust on him if he chose to approach me out of so many possible candidates. That, or my sister gave him a good word about me. She is with SECT as well, as a mission control operator."
"So, to put this in a few words, I am working with SECT for about five years by now. I worked with the old team as well."

[TooManySecrets]

"Thanks." Sara looks out distantly, past Eleanor. "Funny you should mention the old team. It's a shame what happened to them, to say the least. Most are dead, killed by Thoughts of Ascension or willfully sacrificed their lives to attempt to end the SEs."

She looks back at Eleanor, a bit sheepishly. "I'm glad I'm not the head-doc for Laura and Devon."

[Cubey]

"Well, yes. This is a tragedy that deeply saddened me, doubly so that I knew them personally. But... I had to deal with it. I couldn't go around helping others with their personal troubles and worries if I didn't deal with mine first."
"Laura is a nice young woman. But she needs more confidence in her own abilities, and gets attached to people more than what it's healthy. I'm saying this only because you probably realized it on your own already. As a professional, I shouldn't tell everyone secrets of people I work with. As for Devon... I couldn't talk with her, not even once. She always ignored me or just left. It's a shame, because she is a really troubled person. She needs help, especially now. I'm sure you can see that."
"But you didn't come here to listen about other people, right? I spoke enough for now, so it's your turn. Could you tell me how do you feel about everything that happened recently, your last mission?"

[TooManySecrets]

Sara smiles. "I wasn't try to pry into their affairs. It's just that talking can help me set my thoughts straight."

Sara lightly claps here hands together. "Okay, let's go down to it."

"I feel pretty fine about the last mission. Unlike most people, new information doesn't really throw me off. Adapt, adapt, adapt, and all that. I'm not worried about SEs. The biggest problem appears to be Thoughts of Ascension."

"I can't wrap my head around it. What could possess somebody to join up with a group like that? They say that they have the best intentions to humanity, but there's no way to find out, really. All our interactions with them have been pretty one-sided. If I had a chance to talk with one of them, find out why believe in what they believe in, I think that I would have a much better grasp of why they act the way they do."

[Matar]

odd:
"I see. There is a personal strength in not having an emotional reaction to stress, as long as you realize intellectually that wrong things happened, you just don't let them affect you in a negative way. Do you have anything else that you would like to talk about?"

"Actually... yeah. Do you know when Devon's birthday is? And how far away it is?"

[Cubey]

Sara:
"I believe it's desperation that guides the Thoughts. Well adjusted members of the society would never join them - but those who have traumatic past experiences, or just very bad living conditions, in poverty or violence, would be desperate to improve their living. The Thoughts of Ascension offer a fast and easy way to do so, even if it's false, and they also present a scapegoat, that would be us."

Todd:
"No, my apologies. I have no idea when Devon's birthday is - she keeps her past a secret. I don't even know her exact age or nationality, I can only make educated guesses."

[Tengu_temp]

When the woman knocks on her door, Emi is sitting on her bed, playing her guitar - she doesn't put much effort into improving herself right now, and only plays the songs she likes, ones that she can lose herself into.
The base's psychologist? I really don't feel like talking with her - why couldn't one of the others come to talk instead? But she went out of her way to come here, so I guess...
Emi sighs and puts her guitar on her lap.
"Come in."