"Women are scary divine alien paragons."

[Serpentine]

Those of you who have noticed my signature may have read the quote by Balkash from some time ago. It's been there waiting for me to stat it out. So, I have. And here it is.
Notes: I used the Pseudonatural, Celestial and Paragon templates. If anyone can think of ones that could be better (I decided against Half-Celestial and Aasimar, for example), let me know. I was also going to just whack on an Aura of Fear for the "scary" bit, but I thought there must be some feat or some addition I could throw on. Any ideas?
Template details (including non-used ones):

Spoiler

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Humans
• Medium: As Medium creatures, humans have no special bonuses or penalties due to their size.
• Human base land speed is 30 feet.
• 1 extra feat at 1st level.
• 4 extra skill points at 1st level and 1 extra skill point at each additional level.
• Automatic Language: Common. Bonus Languages: Any (other than secret languages, such as Druidic). See the Speak Language skill.
• Favored Class: Any. When determining whether a multiclass human takes an experience point penalty, his or her highest-level class does not count.



Creating A Celestial Creature
"Celestial" is an inherited template that can be added to any corporeal aberration, animal, dragon, fey, giant, humanoid, magical beast, monstrous humanoid, plant, or vermin of good or neutral alignment (referred to hereafter as the base creature).
A celestial creature uses all the base creature’s statistics and abilities except as noted here. Do not recalculate the creature’s Hit Dice, base attack bonus, saves, or skill points if its type changes.
Size and Type
Animals or vermin with this template become magical beasts, but otherwise the creature type is unchanged. Size is unchanged. Celestial creatures encountered on the Material Plane have the extraplanar subtype.
Special Attacks
A celestial creature retains all the special attacks of the base creature and also gains the following attack.
Smite Evil (Su)
Once per day a celestial creature can make a normal melee attack to deal extra damage equal to its HD (maximum of +20) against an evil foe.
Special Qualities
A celestial creature retains all the special qualities of the base creature and also gains the following qualities.
• Darkvision out to 60 feet.
• Damage reduction (see the table below).
• Resistance to acid, cold, and electricity (see the table below).
• Spell resistance equal to HD + 5 (maximum 25).
Hit Dice Resistance to Acid,
Cold, Electricity Damage Reduction

1-3 5 —
4-7 5 5/magic
8-11 10 5/magic
12 or more 10 10/magic
If the base creature already has one or more of these special qualities, use the better value.
If a celestial creature gains damage reduction, its natural weapons are treated as magic weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.
Abilities
Same as the base creature, but Intelligence is at least 3.
Environment
Any good-aligned plane.
Challenge Rating
HD 3 or less, as base creature; HD 4 to 7, as base creature +1; HD 8 or more, as base creature +2.
Alignment
Always good (any).
Level Adjustment
Same as the base creature +2.

Half-Celestial
No matter the form, half-celestials are always comely and delightful to the senses, having golden skin, sparkling eyes, angelic wings, or some other sign of their higher nature.
Creating A Half-Celestial
"Half-celestial" is an inherited template that can be added to any living, corporeal creature with an Intelligence score of 4 or higher and nonevil alignment (referred to hereafter as the base creature).
A half-celestial uses all the base creature’s statistics and special abilities except as noted here.
Size and Type
The creature’s type changes to outsider. Do not recalculate the creature’s Hit Dice, base attack bonus, or saves. Size is unchanged. Half-celestials are normally native outsiders.
Speed
A half-celestial has feathered wings and can fly at twice the base creature’s base land speed (good maneuverability). If the base creature has a fly speed, use that instead.
Armor Class
Natural armor improves by +1 (this stacks with any natural armor bonus the base creature has).
Special Attacks
A half-celestial retains all the special attacks of the base creature and also gains the following special abilities.
Daylight (Su)
Half-celestials can use a daylight effect (as the spell) at will.
Smite Evil (Su)
Once per day a half-celestial can make a normal melee attack to deal extra damage equal to its HD (maximum of +20) against an evil foe.
HD Abilities
1-2 Protection from evil 3/day, bless

3-4 Aid, detect evil

5-6 Cure serious wounds, neutralize poison

7-8 Holy smite, remove disease

9-10 Dispel evil

11-12 Holy word

13-14 Holy aura 3/day, hallow

15-16 Mass charm monster

17-18 Summon monster IX (celestials only)

19-20 Resurrection

Spell-Like Abilities
A half-celestial with an Intelligence or Wisdom score of 8 or higher has two or more spell-like abilities, depending on its Hit Dice, as indicated on the table below. The abilities are cumulative
Unless otherwise noted, an ability is usable once per day. Caster level equals the creature’s HD, and the save DC is Charisma-based.
Special Qualities
A half-celestial has all the special qualities of the base creature, plus the following special qualities.
• Darkvision out to 60 feet.
• Immunity to disease.
• Resistance to acid 10, cold 10, and electricity 10.
• Damage reduction: 5/magic (if HD 11 or less) or 10/magic (if HD 12 or more).
• A half-celestial’s natural weapons are treated as magic weapons for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.
• Spell resistance equal to creature’s HD + 10 (maximum 35).
• +4 racial bonus on Fortitude saves against poison.
Abilities
Increase from the base creature as follows: Str +4, Dex +2, Con +4, Int +2, Wis +4, Cha +4.
Skills
A half-celestial gains skill points as an outsider and has skill points equal to (8 + Int modifier) × (HD +3). Do not include Hit Dice from class levels in this calculation—the half-celestial gains outsider skill points only for its racial Hit Dice, and gains the normal amount of skill points for its class levels. Treat skills from the base creature’s list as class skills, and other skills as cross-class.
Challenge Rating
HD 5 or less, as base creature +1; HD 6 to 10, as base creature +2; HD 11 or more, as base creature +3.
Alignment
Always good (any).
Level Adjustment
Same as base creature +4.

Aasimar As Characters
Aasimar characters possess the following racial traits.
• +2 Wisdom, +2 Charisma.
• Medium size.
• An aasimar’s base land speed is 30 feet.
• Darkvision: Aasimars can see in the dark up to 60 feet.
• Racial Skills: Aasimars have a +2 racial bonus on Spot and Listen checks.
• Racial Feats: An aasimar gains feats according to its class levels.
• Special Attacks (see above): Daylight.
• Special Qualities (see above): Resistance to acid 5, cold 5, and electricity 5.
• Automatic Languages: Common, Celestial. Bonus Languages: Draconic, Dwarven, Elven, Gnome, Halfling, Sylvan.
• Favored Class: Paladin.
• Level adjustment +1.


Paragon:
Creating A Paragon Creature
“Paragon” is a template that can be added to any creature (referred to hereafter as the base creature).
The base creature’s type remains unchanged. The paragon creature uses all the base creature’s statistics and special abilities except as noted here.
HD
A paragon creature always has maximum hit points. Paragon creatures also gain an additional 12 hit points per HD.
Speed
A paragon creature’s speed triples, for all movement types.
AC
Paragon creatures gain a +12 insight bonus to AC and a +12 luck bonus to AC. They also gain a +5 natural armor bonus (if the creature already has natural armor, use whichever is better).
Attacks
A paragon creature makes all its attacks with a +25 luck bonus on the attack roll.
Damage
A paragon creature gains a +20 luck bonus on damage rolls for all melee and thrown ranged attacks.
Special Attacks
A paragon creature’s special attacks, if any, all gain a +13 insight bonus, if applicable. The +13 insight bonus may only be applied to a given special ability once.
Spell-Like Abilities (Sp) or Psionics (Sp)
If the base creature has spell-like abilities, it gains +15 to its caster level to use those abilities. A paragon creature also gains the ability to use greater dispel magic, haste, and see invisibility three times per day, even if it did not have spell-like abilities before, at 15th caster level.
Special Qualities
A paragon creature retains all the special qualities of the base creature and also gains the following.
• Fire and cold resistance 10. If the creature already possesses such resistance, use whichever is better.
• Damage reduction 10/epic. If the creature already possesses damage reduction, use whichever is better.
• Spell resistance equal to the paragon creature’s CR +25. If the creature already possesses spell resistance, use whichever is higher.
• Fast healing 20. If the creature already possesses fast healing, use whichever is better.
• A paragon creature’s natural weapons are treated as epic for the purpose of overcoming damage reduction.
Saves
The paragon creature gains a +10 insight bonus on all its saving throws.
Abilities
All ability scores are 15 points higher than those of the base creature.
Skills
The paragon creature gains a +10 competence bonus on all its skill checks.
Feats
Same as the base creature, plus one bonus feat.
Climate/Terrain
Any land and underground.
Organization
Same as the base creature.
Challenge Rating
As base creature +15.
Treasure
Standard for a creature of the adjusted CR.
Alignment
Same as the base creature.
Advancement
Same as the base creature.

The result:

A young woman stands with her back to you. She wears a simple peasant's frock, but stands upright and confident, seeming taller than she is - and that is unusually tall anyway. Her hair is an almost unnatural golden yellow, and seems to shine with its own light. As you approach, you experience a strange feeling of fear. You initially think it's awe, but as she turns around you realise it is also dread and horror: her beautiful shining silver eyes jut out on stalks, her porcelain skin is marred by scales, pustules and patches of mangy fur, and instead of arms and legs she possesses grotesque tentacles that can only be compared with those of octopuses out of convenience in the absense of a more apt analogue.

Pseudonatural Celestial Paragon Human Female Commoner 1
{table]Size/Type:|Medium Humanoid (Outsider, extraplanar)
Hit Dice:|1d4 + 19 (23)
Initiative:|+7
Speed:|90ft
Armor Class:|36 (+12 insight, +12 luck, +5 natural, +7 Dex), touch 31, flat-footed 29
Base Attack/Grapple:|+25/+32 (luck)
Attack:|Unarmed +32 melee (1d3+27 nonlethal, epic)
Full Attack:|Unarmed +32 melee (1d3+27 nonlethal, epic)
Space/Reach:|5ft/5ft
Special Attacks:|+13 insight bonus to all
|True Strike (1/day, +20 insight bonus to one attack roll, no miss chance due to concealment or total concealment)
|Smite Evil (Su) (Once per day a celestial creature can make a normal melee attack to deal extra damage equal to its HD (maximum of +20) against an evil foe).
Special Qualities:|Resistance (Ex): Fire 10, Electricity 5, Cold 5, Acid 5, DR 10/epic Alternate Form (Su) (grotesque, tentacled mass. No change in abilities, enemies receive -1 morale penalty to attack rolls vs. pseudonatural creature when in alternate form)
|Darkvision 60ft
|Spell resistance 26 (HD + 25)
|Fast healing 20
|Natural weapons treated as epic for the purposes of overcoming damage reduction.
Spell-like Abilities:|+15 to Caster Level where applicable.
|3/day: greater dispel magic, haste, see invisibility
Saves:|Fort +17, Ref +17, Will +17
Abilities:|Str 25, Dex 25, Con 25, Int 26, Wis 26, Cha 26
Skills:|Climb +17, Craft +18, Diplomacy +20, Gather Information +20, Handle Animal +20, Intimidate +18, Jump +17, Listen +19, Profession +18, Ride +18, Search +20, Sense Motive +20 Spot +19, Swim +17, Use Rope +17
Feats:|Endurance, Investigator, Negotiator
Environment:|Any good-aligned land and underground
Organization:|Single, pair or clutch (3-6)
Languages:Common, any
Favoured Class:|Any
Challenge Rating:|~15
Treasure:|Triple standard.
Alignment:|Always Good
Level Adjustment:|~+15[/table]

If anyone wanted to make an artist's depiction, I wouldn't complain...

[Vaynor]

I realize it has a lot of defenses, but the HP is simply too low for a CR 15. This could probably be killed fairly easily most level 10 groups.

[The Rose Dragon]

I realize it has a lot of defenses, but the HP is simply too low for a CR 15. This could probably be killed fairly easily most level 10 groups.

You have to realize that it's the official CR suggested by WotC when you put all those templates together. Don't hate on Serpie, hate on WotC.

[Coidzor]

Wait, is this a redux? I thought there was something like this done earlier... Or am I just confusing someone uttering that quote originally with someone actually making one?

All I know is, I wouldn't wanna get within ten-foot pole distance...

[Debihuman]

There are conflicting pseudonatural templates. Which book are you basing it from? There is one in the Complete Arcane and a different one in the Epic Level Handbook.

Debby

[Vaynor]

You have to realize that it's the official CR suggested by WotC when you put all those templates together. Don't hate on Serpie, hate on WotC.

Hey, not hating, just saying the "suggested" template CR might be a little off when stacking high-leveled templates on a level 1 character, and should be reduced.

[Ichneumon]

I don't know much about D&D 3.5 stats, but I think I agree with the title of this thread...
I'm joking of course

[TSED]

If you're looking to make it 'scary', perhaps dumping skill points into Intimidate would work?


Also, spell resistance is off. It should be 26.

[Serpentine]

I realize it has a lot of defenses, but the HP is simply too low for a CR 15. This could probably be killed fairly easily most level 10 groups.

I was just applying the appropriate templates to a level 1 human female commoner... I wasn't really intending it to be playable, except maybe as a joke

There are conflicting pseudonatural templates. Which book are you basing it from? There is one in the Complete Arcane and a different one in the Epic Level Handbook.

Debby

Good point. Pseudonatural is from Complete Arcane, Celestial and Paragon from the d20SRD.

If you're looking to make it 'scary', perhaps dumping skill points into Intimidate would work?


Also, spell resistance is off. It should be 26.

Maybe, but RAW it's only meant to have about 4 or so. And dagnabbit, you're right

[TSED]

Maybe, but RAW it's only meant to have about 4 or so. And dagnabbit, you're right

Oh! 3 base stats should be 11, make one of those 11s the charisma.

Then you have 26 cha, which gives you +8. Then realise you forgot the +4 cha from Celestial, and you have 30 cha.

There's a +10 to cha-skills. +10 competence from Paragon. +4 from skill points, and you automatically succeed any DC25 intimidate checks.

That's actually quite scary, thank you very much.

Skills
A half-celestial gains skill points as an outsider and has skill points equal to (8 + Int modifier) × (HD +3). Do not include Hit Dice from class levels in this calculation—the half-celestial gains outsider skill points only for its racial Hit Dice, and gains the normal amount of skill points for its class levels. Treat skills from the base creature’s list as class skills, and other skills as cross-class.

Another thing you forgot:

A paragon creature makes all its attacks with a +25 luck bonus on the attack roll.
Damage
A paragon creature gains a +20 luck bonus on damage rolls for all melee and thrown ranged attacks.

25 + 13 + 7 (str) = +45, minimum, by my reckoning. And then 1d3 + 27 non-lethal damage.

[Vaynor]

I was just applying the appropriate templates to a level 1 human female commoner... I wasn't really intending it to be playable, except maybe as a joke

Well, never mind then.

[Serpentine]

DAMMIT! I thought I went through it all carefully

[TSED]

Oh and your saves are on the wrong side of the | in the table. :)

"• +4 racial bonus on Fortitude saves against poison. "

Might want to mention that somewhere, too. You've got a LOT of stuff going on in The Woman, so, you know, it's all excusable.

[Serpentine]

Oh and your saves are on the wrong side of the | in the table. :)

"• +4 racial bonus on Fortitude saves against poison. "

Might want to mention that somewhere, too. You've got a LOT of stuff going on in The Woman, so, you know, it's all excusable.

That's for the half-celestial, which I decided against. I just put all the templates in at the start so people could say if they think I chose the wrong thing... There were a few other things that I couldn't find where you got them from. I'm guessing it's the half-celestial vs. Celestial confusion?

Fixed what I know you're right about, anyway. Thanks

[TSED]

That's for the half-celestial, which I decided against. I just put all the templates in at the start so people could say if they think I chose the wrong thing... There were a few other things that I couldn't find where you got them from. I'm guessing it's the half-celestial vs. Celestial confusion?

Fixed what I know you're right about, anyway. Thanks

Oh, probably. I was just flipping through the stuff with ctrl + F and not paying attention to the fact that you didn't use some of the templates given. Oops.

[Yora]

I think this might actually be pretty fun to fight. 23 hp is nothing, but she has fast healing 20. How do you deal 34 points of damage with a single attack that does not require an attack roll (AC 36) or is magical (SR 26). At level 15, it can probably be killed with a single action, but on lower levels, this probably requires some very creative thinking.

[Mr.Moron]

That's for the half-celestial, which I decided against. I just put all the templates in at the start so people could say if they think I chose the wrong thing... There were a few other things that I couldn't find where you got them from. I'm guessing it's the half-celestial vs. Celestial confusion?

Fixed what I know you're right about, anyway. Thanks

If that means you're not overly attached to the specific implementation you've used here it might be a good idea to just do something like this as pure homebrew. Even for jokes the whole many-a-template thing can tend to get gummy. I find starting from the ground up almost always has better results than trying to torturing existing material into doing what you want.

[Serpentine]

Mmmm... But seeing what applying the most applicable pre-made D&D rules to a silly quote came out with was a big part of the fun.

[Mr.Moron]

Mmmm... But seeing what applying the most applicable pre-made D&D rules to a silly quote came out with was a big part of the fun.

Fair enough. "Create it from scratch" is my just first reaction to everything anyway.

[Coidzor]

Immune to death from massive damage due to having to fit a seething, whirling mass of tentacles and teeth out of their mating repository?

I think this might actually be pretty fun to fight. 23 hp is nothing, but she has fast healing 20. How do you deal 34 points of damage with a single attack that does not require an attack roll (AC 36) or is magical (SR 26). At level 15, it can probably be killed with a single action, but on lower levels, this probably requires some very creative thinking.

I vote roses, a four course meal, and a blindfold.

[Mr.Moron]

Hmm if something is supposed to be "Scary", shouldn't it have a fear aura of some sort. You might wanna find a way to get a frightful presence-like ability on there.

[Serpentine]

That's what I was gonna do. I was hoping someone could offer a feat or somesuch.

[Emong]

The feat Dreadful Wrath from Player's Guide to Faerun gives you a fear aura when you attack and I think there's one in Dragon Magic that does it too.

[Coidzor]

That's what I was gonna do. I was hoping someone could offer a feat or somesuch.

hmm... There's a dread necromancer class feature that does sommat like that...

Frightful Presence, the Feat might do that. If you can meet prerequisites, which.... probably not, I guess....

Daunting Presence

bleh...damned type requirements...

[Mr.Moron]

A frightful crest graft (Races of Dragon) would do the trick. It wouldn't be a very good fear aura, but a fear aura all the same.

[Yora]

I vote roses, a four course meal, and a blindfold.

Reminds me of a joke I once heared, about how to trick a witch offering a Hobsons choice.

[Debihuman]

It's almost a shame you didn't use the psuedonatural creature template from the Epic Level Handbook as it is even nastier than the one in the Complete Arcane. That template is here if you are interested: http://www.d20srd.org/srd/epic/monst...alCreature.htm

The chart really isn't the best way to present monsters. You fill the stat block with information that really should be in separate text below it. It's cluttered looking.

You have under special attacks "+13 insight bonus to all" but I'm not sure why it is there. The +13 insight bonus is only to special attacks from the paragon template that you used, unless I somehow missed something.

There is a special ability called "Constant Insight" but it's from the epic version of the pseudonatural template and isn't in the version from Complete Arcane.

P.S. One of its feats is a bonus feat. You are missing the (B ) [it gets a bonus feat for being a paragon].

P.P.S. Luck bonus does not apply to BAB. The BAB is still +0 as Commoner. You only add bonuses to the attacks and grapple.

Debby

[vasharanpaladin]

Paragon creatures gain the +13 bonus to any special attacks they have that it can be applied to (in this case, an attack roll using True Strike or Smite Evil). Also, Awaken Frightful Presence (Draconomicon) would get a half-decent fear aura. It only requires Cha 19, which this critter has.

[Coidzor]

Gaze upon Liefeld's works, ye snarkers, and despair!



Of all his shoddy art, that one hurts my eyes the most.

Mando Knight suggested sharing this horror here for you, Madam.

[Serpentine]

Ugh. Mein gott his stuff is awful.