Results 631 to 660 of 1474
-
2009-11-11, 04:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
A question before I continue my Lien/Xykon/Redcloak fic.
What are some weak spells Xykon and Redcloak would have that would substitute a punch/kick, like if you get ticked off at someone and you want to deal a little damage to them (that could easily be healed).SpoilerAvatar by KwarkPudding!
-
2009-11-11, 04:27 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Xykon is strong enough to not need a spell to punch people and make it hurt.
I'll be honest because you deserve it; I won't. Not because it lacks quality, because it most certainly doesn't, but because the content doesn't interest me. But I can assure you many people in this thread will read it and purr in delight as you pet them over the head with updates.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
-
2009-11-11, 04:33 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Point in case, but what about Reddy? Strong or not, my story needs him to deliver a small spell like that.
Also, to add to the Red/V kid art thing, I used the SP generator to make this:
Last edited by BatRobin; 2009-11-11 at 04:34 PM.
SpoilerAvatar by KwarkPudding!
-
2009-11-11, 05:37 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2009
- Location
- Behind you!
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
So... I wonder how Xykon can be in ANY pairing, being he lacks the nessicary tools... I mean, Rich even pointed it out in book... what was it, -1? Donno. Anywho, all I can figure is him being gay and submisssive (which REALLY doesn't strike me as his charrie), and even then, there's not much he can do....
Last edited by SlippingStar; 2009-11-11 at 05:38 PM.
The only certainty is uncertainty itself.
-
2009-11-11, 05:39 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Any spells for Reddy, criticism for my pic?
SpoilerAvatar by KwarkPudding!
-
2009-11-11, 06:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
OH DEAR GODS!
Lord Kubota + Julia Greenhilt
American high school setting
YET ANOTHER HORRIBLE MENTAL IMAGE:
Belkar + (Windstriker + Xykon's zombie dragon head)
Love potion
AND ANOTHER:
Xykon + (Celia + The orc chieftain)
Snowed in
Anyone willing to do these?Credit for my various avatars goes to Dashwood,Cealocanth,Kwarkpudding,Randomizer,kpengu in,Alarra,Bisected8,zimmerwald1915, and Thanqol.
Once known as "Gamerkid".
-
2009-11-11, 06:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
-
2009-11-11, 06:11 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
It's been a bit, GitP. If you're reading this, you're either digging through old stuff, or I've posted for the first time in forever.
If you want to stay in touch, reach out to me on twitter (same username).
The best answer is always to ask your DM.
Unless you're the DM, in which case you should talk to your players.
-
2009-11-11, 06:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2008
- Location
- UK
- Gender
-
2009-11-11, 06:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
-
2009-11-11, 06:14 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Dec 2007
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
The generator sometimes does strange things. Things that violate the space/time continuance:
Roy + Bone golem Roy
AdulteryCredit for my various avatars goes to Dashwood,Cealocanth,Kwarkpudding,Randomizer,kpengu in,Alarra,Bisected8,zimmerwald1915, and Thanqol.
Once known as "Gamerkid".
-
2009-11-11, 06:17 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Before we start, here's pics and info on Ciaphas Cain and Ferik Jurgen.
Now then, on with the show.
--- Chapter 3 ---
Spoiler
The world had stopped making sense. The laws of physics, nature, and magic had been rewritten, and apparently Vaarsuvius was the only one who had not been informed. Here she was standing in a muddy trench, under attack, stupified by the world around her. She was unable to comprehend what she was experiencing - it logic, it defied existance, it defied everything. It was almost too much for her to handle at one time.
Why had her Magic Missile looked so different than the many times she had used it before? It was usually a simple purple ball, not a glowing orb of whispy purple energy that warped the air around it and left a trail of distortion as it travelled. And it had most definitely never been that destructive. But worst of all, when she had cast the spell, there had been no roll involved. She had simply said the words, concentrated, and the spell had just... happened. There was no attack roll - just an attack. This simple action in itself, to her knowledge, was simply impossible. Trying to comprehend it was simply too much for her to handle at the moment.
The destructive nature of the spell horrified her as well. Where was she where such grisly damage was even possible? She'd seen torn in half lose less blood. She'd seen people fall from cliffs and other massive heights, with the only resulting sign of trauma on their body being X's in place of their eyes. She had seen Durkon, enchanted to be taller than a house, smash people with his mighty hammer - and they were only left sprawled out on the ground, dead. Yet she had just exploded a skull with a spell that shouldn't have even knocked the Ork down. Her stomach cringed at the thought of what she'd witnessed - she'd never seen a brain in person, only in medical books and scrolls. To her knowledge, it wasn't even physically possible to force it out of somebody's head, yet she'd just done it - with Magic Missile of all things!
And then there was the fact that the terrified man behind her seemed to have a strange looking wand enchanted with what appeared to be a small but powerful version of a Disintegrate spell. How that strange device could hold such a powerful spell, and how a person with such power in their hand could be scared, greatly confused and astounded her. Nothing made sense anymore! V's mind was trying to comprehend too many things at once, and naturally she was having trouble focusing on her surroundings - she didn't notice the hulking figure appear over her atop the trench wall. The man's words of warning brought her back to reality.
"THERE WILL BE MORE OF THEM ANY SECOND!!" she jumped slightly when she heard him call out. "WATCH OUT!!" Her eyes instinctively rose upwards, and she barely managed to maintain her resolve enough to strangle the gasp that tried to rise from her lungs. Towering over her stood a massive Ork, compared to the other two she'd seen mere seconds before. It could have easily torn them in half, judging from the bulging muscles in its arms. It wore heavy metal armor which appeared to be nothing more than scrap cobbled together in a startlingly effective manner. In its right hand, it held a savage looking battle axe with what appeared to be tiny knives welded to the blade. As if it wasn't dangerous enough! In the brutes left hand, it held some sort of bulky weapon, similar to the one the man had been holding. Only this one was larger, dirtier, of a more ramshackle design, and had a chain of strange yellow cylinders with pointy ends danging down from one side of it.
V barely had time to acknowledge its existance before it began to raise the strange device in its left hand towards her. She knew that if the man's small weapon had been so effective, the Orks could easily hurt her in ways she didn't want to imagine. Her instincts kicked in, and she raised her hand towards the creature. Just before the creature could finish bringing its weapon to bear, she yelled out the name of the first spell that came to mind: "DISINTEGRATE!!"
---
Ciaphas had barely gotten the warning out of his mouth when the Nob appeared. Among the Orks, Nobs were akin to Sargeants and squad leaders, bossing around the smaller Boyz and leading them into battle. For an Ork Nob to show up now was a death sentence. They were much stronger than Boyz, and much harder to take down, not to mention the fact that it had a Choppa and a Shoota! His laspistol was no match for it - killing the Boy had just been a lucky shot. The Eldar might have been able to take it on with the Warpcraft it possessed, but he didn't know if it still had the energy left, or if that spell would get through the Orks armor. So unless it had some more powerful spell left, they were seriously frakked.
"DISINTEGRATE!!" the Eldar howled, its voice fierce and commanding, yet strangely elegant and lofty. Cain let out a strangled yelp. It had started as a gasp, caused by him being suprised at the Eldar speaking High Gothic. He'd expected it to speak some strange and mysterious tongue - not his own language. That disturbed him deeply, for some unknown reason. But the gasp began to turn into a scream when he saw what happened next, and the only reason he managed to wrangle it into being a yelp was because he didn't want to spook the Eldar and get the same treatment.
And that treatment was one of shocking and disturbing power. It was as though the Eldar had hit the Nob with a Melta gun. A beam of energy, akin to a las bolt, had streaked from the Eldar's pointing finger and into the Nob's chest. For one brief instance, the Nob glowed like the flash of a plasma cannon. Its whole body seemed to become pure, transparent energy. The only thing that seemed to posses solid mass were its weapons, the thickest shards of armor it wore, and its skeletal structure. And at a speed Ciaphas could barely register, thousands of cracks had spiderwebbed through the Ork's skeleton. And then, in one brief second, the whole thing had crumpled into dust. The armor and the weapons fell to the ground, burying themselves into a large pile of ash. A vague haze of soot and smoke drifted up from the macabre heap.
"Well, at least one thing is still the same..." he heard the Eldar mutter to itself. Its voice was so foreign, strange, and intimidating, yet at the same time, captivating and alluring. An involuntary shiver ran down the Commissar's spine. He felt a disturbing mix of terror, awe... and attraction.
Another cry of "WAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!" brought his mind back to the situation at hand. Another Ork appeared atop the trench. It tried to leap into the trench with them, a wicked-looking cutlass gripped in its hands. Cain fired his laspistol, but the shot passed over the things shoulder. It fell through the air towards the Eldar, twisted glee apparent on its face. But just before it could fall upon its prey, the robed figure raised its hand and uttered: "Lightning bolt."
---
Vaarsuvius had managed to take down the hulking brute, and its manner of death was similar to what she was used to. "Well, at least one thing is still the same..." she mused. Although, several things bothered her about what had just occured. Once again, she had made no attack roll - the spell had simply happened. The Ork had made no saving throw against her attack, either. He'd simply died - and she had recieved no XP for it. Of course, he simply could have been too far below her level, but she'd expected something out of killing such a fearsome looking thing. And she was also feeling slightly fatigued, as though she'd just expended a noticeable amount of energy.
The torch was ignited.
She was not in her world anymore. Not her planet. Not her universe. Not even her own reality. She was in a place altogether different from where she originated, with its own laws of physics, reality, and existance. And she was now subject to them. The thought was disturbing, shocking, and terrifying. But at the same time, it was fascinating, interesting, and alluring. There was so much to learn! Vaarsuvius knew that if she survived this experience, there would be untold amounts of knowledge to obtain. And now that she knew what was going on, she could focus. A smirk spread across her face. She was in her element - there was learning to be done.
"WAAAAAAAAGHHH!!!!" cried the Ork that leaped into the trench, descending towards her with sword in hand. V barely arched an eyebrow at it. She understood what was happening now. All she had to do was play along. She simply raised her arm towards the beast, opened her hand to expose her palm, and calmly stated: "Lightning bolt."
--- End Chapter 3 ---
And with that, I have to go to dinner. If you see any typos, point them out please. I didn't have time to proof-read.Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
-
2009-11-11, 06:24 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
-
2009-11-11, 07:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Lycan 01, it was awesome. The description of the effects of V's spells was perfect.
Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
-
2009-11-11, 09:30 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I present part two of my story. Also, did anyone notice the slight reference in the 'name' of this pairing? Hint: It's to Narnia!
The Cleric, the Bitch, and the Scorecode pt. 2
Spoiler
Jirix and Redcloak strode down the olive green halls of Xykon's tower, Redcloak stoic and Jirix cheery.
"That was an uneventful meeting, no?" Redcloak asked, still thinking of the paladin from before. Jirix raised an eyebrow.
"Uneventful? Are you kidding? Quite the contrary! Weren't you listening? We discussed a whole new kind of training for the hobgoblins, and the smiths agreed to making some new weapons! We might have hobgoblins with maces, and giant triangle shields, and then a kind with riot shields, and batons, and-"
"Inflict Moderate Wounds. Now shut UP!" Redcloak delivered the spell, watched as Jirix tripped, and stomped away. "Just leave me alone. I'm going to my quarters."
"Hey, that wasn't very nice, you know, Redcloak, insulting and injuring a fellow cleric! I'm reporting you to the head cleric around here, whoever he is!"
"Jirix, the head cleric is currently walking away from you. I'd heal yourself if I were you now, those bruises are huge." Redcloak hissed, a menacing tone in his voice. Jirix scrambled to his feet and turned towards Redcloak.
"Well, then I'm telling Tsukiko, or Xykon! Or...umm...someone else who can put a hurting on you!" The hobgoblin cleric shot off down the hallways and began casting healing spells upon himself. Pouting, Redcloak returned to his quarters and began daydreaming about that paladin he couldn't get out of his head.
Meanwhile, all the way up in Xykon's room, Tsukiko and the lich were discussing what to do to those pesky paladins.
"I think we should get them brought to us dead or alive, and kill them if not. Then, I re-animate them and have them as my personal zombie advisors! Hehe..." Tsukiko rambled on into her undead daydream, oblivious to Xykon getting up and looking out the window at the broken city.
"Whatever. But, let's try to keep the female one alive for a big longer. You never know, she might prove useful." And with that, Xykon lef tthe room, leaving Tsukiko to babble mindlessly to herself.
Haha, mindlessly, because...undead...haha. Fail joke.SpoilerAvatar by KwarkPudding!
-
2009-11-12, 08:00 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
I drew something!
Stop giving me ideas!
Soon after the first hundred words.
Anyway, I'm thinking of doing a sequel to my spawnfic and I'm penning out a few ideas, but would anyone actually be interested in reading it?This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt
-
2009-11-12, 08:03 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
-
2009-11-12, 08:32 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2008
- Location
- Sweden
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Redcloak's and V's child becoming fanon in 3... 2... 1...
Quoth the raven, "Polly wants a cracker."
Pony avatar by the Great and Powerful DirtyTabs. Lotsa hugs!
Scourge Caste avatar by the illustrious Akrim.elf. Thank you!
-
2009-11-12, 09:05 AM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Aug 2009
- Location
- Lurkers Anonymous
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Very nice, Zanaril! Her face is especially well done.
Oh damn now I'll have to draw something really awesome to even stand a chance of competing in the Crackies (or whatever we're calling them now), right?
/needs ideas
-
2009-11-12, 12:21 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Jul 2008
- Location
- Germany
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Great picture. :D
Look, guys. Turns out we DID break some minds out there.
-
2009-11-12, 12:25 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
- Location
- Gothenburg, Sweden
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
So what's the name of RC and V's child, and when do we get crack-fiction with her and Xykon?
Avatar by CoffeeIncluded
Oooh, and that's a bad miss.
“Don't exercise your freedom of speech until you have exercised your freedom of thought.”
― Tim Fargo
-
2009-11-12, 12:46 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Apr 2008
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Wow, we upset people? Sheesh, I didn't think anybody would actually get offended. At least from just the sigs...
Seriously, the main one they're complaining about - spliced K chasing V with the spiked tentacles - is probably one the funniest sigs, and one of my favorite ones.Anemoia: Nostalgia for a time you've never known.
-
2009-11-12, 12:49 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Sep 2009
- Location
- Where the dragons are
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Meh, wimps.
They can't handle the awesome that is crack pairings.
*Fantasizes about some hot dragon on human action*
-
2009-11-12, 01:08 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2007
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
*looks at own sig*
Is there any love for Hedorah, the Smog Monster?
-
2009-11-12, 01:47 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
Last edited by Silverraptor; 2009-11-12 at 01:48 PM.
-
2009-11-12, 01:52 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Mar 2009
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
nobody besides Cracklord wants to do my Fanfic?
okay. If you get around to it Cracklord don't Make Belkar's death TOO horrific. you can make another fanfic after that about Belkar being torn apart by Balors in the abyss after that if you want though.
-
2009-11-12, 01:54 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2007
- Location
- Texas...for now
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
[/sarcasm]
FAQ is not RAW!Avatar by the incredible CrimsonAngel.
Saph:It's surprising how many problems can be solved by one druid spell combined with enough aggression.
I play primarily 3.5 D&D. Most of my advice will be based off of this. If my advice doesn't apply, specify a version in your post.
-
2009-11-12, 01:57 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Feb 2009
- Location
- A nice, sparkly place.
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
-
2009-11-12, 02:03 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- May 2009
- Gender
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
From my understanding of the spoilers I read of Start of Darkness...
SpoilerXykon was implied to be a rapist.
So your Lien fanfiction wasn't that bad, all things considered.
And I was planning to make a Roy x Julia banner, but now I won't or else I'll scare the children.Formerly known as Discord here and Maladin on avatarspirit.net.
-
2009-11-12, 02:06 PM (ISO 8601)
- Join Date
- Nov 2006
- Location
- England
Re: Crack Pairings 3 - 50% More Squick
This post may contain sarcasm.
DeviantArt