[TOWN] Dancing Fox Inn LIII: Like the DFI III, but with more L!

[Beans]

((Banner by Celtois))

Guess what's back!
Welcome to the Dancing Fox Inn! Come and try our one of a kind beverages and food, chat with friends, or grab a private room and relax. All are welcome to the Dancing Fox Inn.
Back again!
We would like to ask, please, no smoking in the establishment. Thank you for understanding.. Be sure to enjoy your stay.
White Text is back! Mocking your memes!

If your characters are upstairs, please use this thread to avoid confusing the other occupants

So, what to add in the white text.
Map:
There is no map. The Inn has as much space as is needed, as many tables as is needed, as many rooms as needed (Upstairs), as many corners as needed, and so on.
There is, however, a description:
How about Steak tasting better with a Steak-Taste-Better pill?
Description:

Spoiler

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The inn is . . . indescribable. Size wise, anyway. It has as many tables as needed, and as many chairs as needed. So that needn't be said as well.
However, the floors have been . . . completely changed.
They were rough hewn logs. They are now laminated hardwood. All of the broken, dirty glasses and silverware have been removed, and replaced with better, more functional (And clean) ones. The kitchen is, by far, the best room in the inn. Sparklingly clean, the best equipment out there, and so on. The entire inn has been renovated. It is now made of better wood, and is much cleaner. It's not the prettiest building in the town, but it's functional. Which is what counts.
Also, any damage done to the inn will fix itself by the next day. So don't worry.

Disclaimer: The only thing changing about the inn is the size. So it will allow anyone in. And will supply as many corners as needed. Nothing else is changing. And it never does change. It just . . . you watch it, it . . seems to stay the same, but you know it changes, but . . . it doesn't, but . . .. (Think about it, and your head will explode)

Ooh! Or Llama llama ducks!
Current Staff:
Nerick- Barkeep and Manager
???- Barboy
Gabriella - Barmaid
Julie - Waiter
Jessica - Cook
Psudonym - Bard
(If the person with the job, such as the barboy, if that person does not come around for a month (Or so), they lose the job. Not to be mean, but to clear up the space, so that someone else who might want it can have it.)
NOW HIRING: A Waiter / Waitresses, Barboy.
If you're none of these but think you can help, ask about a job, ask Nerick, IC.
((Also if you have a Banner idea, please, PM it to... dunno, Quinsar or Celtois.))
Maybe Banana Phones!
NPC's:

Spoiler

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Name: Naim Elless.
Race: Human.
Gender: Genderless.
Description: Completely average hight, weight, and so on.
He's the bartender when Nerick isn't around.

Now you can have your phone, and eat it too!
THE MENU:
Be sure to keep an eye out for our DAILY SPECIALS!
Wines*:
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with hits of oak and black cherry.
Elven Wine – imported straight from Elven lands unless the cart turned
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.

Bar Drinks*:
Swampwater - A delicious lemon-lime delight but a tad . . . swampy
Shocker Lizard’s Chider – Sends a shock through your body, bound to wake you up electro-zaps!
Mai Tai - Dark and pineapple juice. PINEAPPLE!!
Sneak on the Beach - Vodka, Cranberry juice, pineapple juice and Peach Schapps. *sneak sneak sneak*
Rust Monster - Scotch and Drambuie drink and your sword explodes.
Coffee - buzzzzz. Javajavajavajavajavajava!!
Ice Liqueur - Guaranteed to cool you down. . . .
Dragon's Liver Buster - The strongest drink in the house. Don't say we didn't warn you... (Doesn't actually make your liver explode)
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood, the perfect drink for vampires and similar creatures, like Kurvis. >:p
Haley's Liquer - named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice. And while you're asleep, she'll loot your body
Wizard Blizzard - The effect depends on the spell stored in it. Other than that, it's made with crushed ice and Bourbon. Don't get a fireball. Ever.
Manticore Martini – a regular Martini but stirred with a spike from a Manticore tail, giving it an exotic taste. And it's poisonous!
Melon Juice – relaxes the mind - Now available without alcohol!
Green Tea - with a hint of sugar Coffee? Tea? Monster?
Beholder's Earl Grey - It's a tea named after everyone's favorite abberation. Need I say more? Yes, actually. What's in it?
Root Beer – For those who have a weak stomach
Cold Milk – For the kids
Burning Brandy- To keep the Archbishop happy Who is never around . . .
Apple Cider - Non-alcoholic, fruity goodness! Ah, cheesy goodness.

Beers, Ales & Such*: Beer beer beer jiddily beer beer beer!
Thunder Ale - puts a boom in your tummy Then your tummy explodes!
Grim Brewery brand Ginger Ale - deathly good Hmm . . . lawsuit, anyone? If it does kill, than it's murder, but if it doesn't, than it's false advertising.
Dwarven Brandy - comes from dwarven lands
Pirate's Drink (Rum) - Be drunk while saying "Yarrr!" Garr! Arr! Marr! Blarg!
Guilders Ale - a tasty treat that doesn't mess with your mind Or does it?
Rouges Rum - Warning: You may pickpocket while drunk No 'may' about it.
Fairy Ale - You'll think you can fly Really should upgrade this to Red Bull, as that does give you wings.

Fizzy Drinks: (courtesy of Leigh and Mee. Thanks!) No prob.
Blueberry buzz - Spyte soda, with blueberries, and blueberry syrup in it.
Banana beer - Root beer, banana slices, whipped cream on the top, and a cherry on that. Goes well with Muffins.
Leigh special - A warm coffee (Bubbly, of course...with your choice of a hazelnut or chocolate flavor), with a swirl of peppermint, a stick of cocoa, and optional sprinkles and whipped cream. BUY ME!
Triple threat - Root beer and coffee swirled together, with a lemon wedge jammed on the rim.Poor Lemon.
K's special - Carbonated water, mixed with cream, pineapple flavoring, coconut sprinkled on top, then a few strawberries dropped into it. Very good. Could be gold covered, would that make it sell better?
Ice cream float - Your choice of flavors.
The cute drink - Just like K's special, but it has some fruit on the top. A lime slice as a smile, and two cherries as eyes. It's cute. It also comes with a little umbrella. D'awww! So cuuute!
Spryte - the regular, boring drink.

Food:
Peanuts Nothing to see here.
Chips & Dip and salsa! Ha! I slay myself!
Curry - Chicken, beef, pork, or seafood Nom.
Cured Ham Steak So it isn't hurt, right? As it got a cure spell?
BBQ Hydra Heads Ewwwww!
Salads (Spring Greens, Caesar, and Italian Pasta) Nothing to pick on here.
Pork Chops Pork-Fu!
Mutton Chops Mutton Kung-fu chops!
Golden Apple don't get it. It hurts to much to chew it.
Fish (Cod, Eel, Trout, Salmon) – Served with a lemon wedge or lime.
Fresh Bread But . . . but 3 week old green bread is soooo much better!
Fine Aged Cheddar Better than poorly aged cheddar.
Fava Beans like Java. But you drink so much, you spell them wrong, see?
Birdseed for all those avian fowl out there.
Berries - all kinds, blue, black, straw purple, mauve, hamster.
Roasted Quail - kinda like a small turkey but not. See?
And anything else you may want. Just ask.

Dessert:
Muffins Boom boom boom, Muffins!
Brownies Brownieeeees . . . [/zombie]
Slice of cake (Chocolate, cheese, whatever...) Caaaake . . . [/zombie]
Milkshake No one ever gets these, it's sad.
Cookies Cookiiiiiiiiiiies!
Pie (Pick a flavor) How about Pi Pie?

*Can substitute the alcohol for a magical liquid that can make anybody drunk, no matter what the resistance, for a little extra.

We hope you enjoy your stay at the Dancing Fox Inn!

Some Excellent Poems
Dancing Fox Inn and DFI '09
The Ballad of the Inn
We Dream of a Town

Seals of Approval

Spoiler

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Helping the Town
I, II, III, IV, V

[Viera Champion]

Eldena is back at the bar with her tea.

((Yay first post!))

[Shades of Gray]

As Neil leaves the DFI (And Vocusta), something falls out of his pocket. He doesn't notice.

[Falgorn]

This guy walks in. He sits down, and orders a drink.

[Viera Champion]

Eldena looks over at the giant machine thingy and shrugs then goes back to sipping her tea.

[Recaiden]

Riace is satisfied all his things are working. He looks over at what was dropped. But it's to Vo to pick it up. He studiously ignores the marine.

((Because he and Jon deadtime.))

[Falgorn]

The guy looks at her. Then he looks back at his drink.

[Viera Champion]

Eldena just continues to sip her tea her mind wandering off to thoughts of Bear every now and then.

[Durp]

(( I is dancing with one of my ferrets to the allman brothers on a saturday. Life is good. ))

More klunking is heard from upstairs.
EDIT: (( WTF IS HORUS DOING HERE?! ))

[Beans]

I is gitarring.
And Towning.
... It's been a while since the last broadcast.
... Yeah.

[Falgorn]

(( WTF IS HORUS DOING HERE?! ))

...((None of yer business, that's what! ))

[Durp]

Chris walks down in his techna armor, about 12 feet tall, and his jaw drops at the new friggin' horus heresy being in town.
The hell is this, a convention?!

(( ))

[Shades of Gray]

As Neil leaves the DFI (And Vocusta), something falls out of his pocket. He doesn't notice.

Reposting, in case you missed it, Mr. Bean.

[Beans]

Thryza notices Mr. Horus.
Oh. Yeah.
Hey.

Vo notices the thing that fell from Neil's pocket and goes to pick it up.

[Durp]

Chris rolls his eyes and breaks a chair trying to sit down.

(( GEE I WONDER IF IT COULD BE A RING BOX HURR ))

[Shades of Gray]

((CURSE YOU))

What Durp said. A ring box. With a very shiny diamond ring.

((I hate you so much right nooooow.))

[Beans]

Luls.
Vo takes one look at the ring and bites her lip.
...
No.
I'm not gonna cry. Not now. I'll save it for later, when we're not in this mess...
She sniffs, wipes her nose on her sleeve, and pockets the ring.

[Falgorn]

Mr. Horus, as you all refer to him, nods back at them.

((I honestly thought I was the only one who knew crap about 40k.))

[Durp]

(( Good sir, I just know my emotionless town relationships. This kind of this happens every week. ))

Chris whistles "Jessica" to himself. It would appear his techna helmet has a speaker system.

(( Falgorn, the same could be said for myself. I'm glad It's not true. ))

[Beans]

Thryza goes over to Chris to check out his armor, sitting down in his big steely lap.
Huh.
You've got enough lap space for me and the girls on this thing. Remind me to remind you about that once we save them and everything.
((Am I the only one who knows about string theory here?))

[Durp]

(( Nurp. ))
Chris' armor is now A bright green and gold, as opposed to its earlier pallor of dark teal.
I will, don't worry.

[Falgorn]

((My Science Teacher said that there is no String Theory when I tried to explain it to him. I looked like a fool. ))

[Durp]

(( Whenever people try to deny what I say, I just plug speakers into my ipod and start to do the caramelldansen. They admit that they're wrong pretty quickly. ))

[Beans]

Pallor is paleness. Dark teal isn't pale.
I'm insufferable.
By the way, nice paint job---wait, another broadcast!
The screen projects.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for this season of Killing Floor's first one-on-one battle.
At one end, we have Gauge, the armored champion from last season! A tall, armored man with a longsword strides in.
At the other, we have this season's best new contestant, Chol Wogal!
The crowd goes WILD as Chol walks in, having been put into these clothes.

((String Theory is win.
Caramelldansen is win too.))

[Durp]

(( Indeed... ))
Oh, good christ, it's like that rave she went to a while back.

[Beans]

... What have they done to my baby?

Let's get down and dirty, people!
BEGIN!
Chol and Gauge circle one another, drawing closer... closer...
Gauge strikes with his longsword!
But too early. Chol quickly dodges and kicks the swordpoint up and away from herself, causing Gauge to step back for balance's sake.
She goads him into swinging and missing again, and her talons rake his armored backplate.

[Durp]

Oy. One of these days she's gonna grow a brain and just shout her coordinates at the camera...

[Beans]

Yeah, 'cause they totally would tell her or let her find out so she'd be able to do that.
Or, you know, not that.

Gauge turns with a backhand swing of his empty hand. Chol rolls to the floor, but comes up with boots in the air when Gauge decides to tower over her.
Oooh, he shoulda worn a groin-plate.
He reels.

[Chas the mage]

Richard and the younger version of richard are here.

Chas is here.

Eldgrim the norseman is here.

[Durp]

Ah.
He drums his fingers on the table, and ends up breaking it.
Whoops.