Crack Pairings V - We Revel in Infamy

[The Odor]

Is that George W Bush? *Eats him* Nomnomnomnom ahhh tasty.

Justice has been served at last.
And for desert...*Noms down on the FBI*

Good they were on me.

[Aaron]

...how exactly did you burn a glass of water*?

*mostly

Simple, I put on a gas mask, and then tossed the glass in a tub of Alkamist Fire.

But i like eating people.
They taste good! *Swallows a random passer-by*

Yum.

*Facepalm* Ill get the cleric.

You called for your local cleric?

*looks at Closak Dragon*

Hmm...there's only one way to deal with this. *casts Dimensional Anchor on Closak*
*casts mass sending to party members* "Get the Dragon slaying equipment guys, it's hunting and rescue session again."

[The Odor]

Simple, I put on a gas mask, and then tossed the glass in a tub of Alkamist Fire.





You called for your local cleric?

*looks at Closak Dragon*

Hmm...there's only one way to deal with this. *casts Dimensional Anchor*
*casts mass sending to party members* "Get the Dragon slaying equipment guys, it's hunting and rescue session again."

It'nt there an easier way to do things? One that don't include killing him. He might put up a fight.

[Aaron]

It'nt there an easier way to do things? One that don't include killing him. He might put up a fight.

I just need to cut his belly open and retrieve the civilian's bodys. Then revive them.

But I'll have to knock him out to keep him away from the ABD.

[Closak]

You are not toucing my lunch! *Casts all manner of buffs on myself and starts hovering out of melee range*

If you try to touch my lunch you will be added to it!

[The Odor]

I just need to cut his belly open and retrieve the civilian's bodys. Then revive them.

Then you'll heal him?

[Aaron]

You are not toucing my lunch! *Casts all manner of buffs on myself and starts hovering out of melee range*

If you try to touch my lunch you will be added to it!

Go on a diet.

O.K. *takes out cloak of polymorph*

Eat me. I dare you.

Then you'll heal him?

Maybe.

[The Odor]

Go on a diet.

O.K. *takes out cloak of polymorph*

Eat me. I dare you.



Maybe.

Hey Closak I took sense motiv and I've noticed something. It's something odd with the cloak.

[Closak]

...*Spits a whole lot of acid at Aaron and follows up with a Time Stop*

*Sets up 3 Maximized delayed blast fireballs right in Aarons face*

*Time starts moving normally again*

Your move. *Licks mouth*

[Aaron]

...*Spits a whole lot of acid at Aaron and follows up with a Time Stop*

*Sets up 3 Maximized delayed blast fireballs right in Aarons face*

*Time starts moving normally again*

Your move. *Licks mouth*

*polymorphs into a Huge Red Dragon*

Oops, fire resistance.

Hey Closak, I know why the ABD finds you so hot! *Blasts fire at Closak*

[Mystic Muse]

*walks over kind of woozy after drinking ten glasses of the water*

Zanaril what did you put in this stuff? *faints*

[Closak]

How did you know i would do that?

Or is it so that you only turned after being hit by the fireballs.
Because in that case you still took the damage.

By the way...*Casts Maximized Lightning Bolt*

*Grumbles about the burns on my side*
*Groans at the bad pun*

[The Odor]

How did you know i would do that?

Or is it so that you only turned after being hit by the fireballs.
Because in that case you still took the damage.

By the way...*Casts Maximized Lightning Bolt*

*Grumbles about the burns on my side*

Nice fight guys. Hey we are on the second last page.

[Aaron]

How did you know i would do that?

By the way...*Casts Maximized Lightning Bolt*

*Grumbles about the burns on my side*

The oracal told me. Aparently Tiamat is mad at you and the ABD.

Nice fight guys. Hey we are on the second last page.

Horray!!! *gets out the non-spiked and non-alochol drinks* *cough* Zanaril.

[The Odor]

The oracal told me. Aparently Tiamat is mad at you and the ABD.

Shut Up You Two. These pages are for next thread talk only. Got it?

[Mystic Muse]

*wakes up*

CHROMATIC DRAGONS!

I charge Closak dealing 350d8 sonic/radiant damage.

[Closak]

What? Why would Tiamat be mad at us?

Oh, and i have a present for you...*Casts Maximized Disintegrate on Aaron*


...*Get's killed by Kyuubi*

*Contingent True Ressurection activates*

OUCH! *Glares at Kyuubi*

[Aaron]

What? Why would Tiamat be mad at us?

The...things you two have slept with in the recent months. Tiamat only likes pure blood dragons.

[Mystic Muse]

*glares back* WHY WON'T YOU FREAKIN DIE!

eh, I'll just go back to drinking this tasty water.

*fails will save*

you know Zanaril, you look pretty cute.

[The Odor]

*glares back* WHY WON'T YOU FREAKIN DIE!

eh, I'll just go back to drinking this tasty water.

One less.

The...things you two have slept with in the recent months. Tiamat only likes pure blood dragons.

Don't end the thread to quikly.

[Mystic Muse]

okay, you want to talk about the thread titles? how about the "we've finally resorted to shipping ourselves" one?

[Closak]

The reason i won't freaking die is because i'm paranoid and smart enough to take precautions against this sort of thing.
Also, my master helps out a bit every now and then.


And for Tiamat...Aww man...
Maybe a bribe will make her feel better *Sacrifices the belongings of a 19'th level adventuring party i killed a while back to Tiamat*
All the treasure of a 19'th level party is a lot of money you know.

[Mystic Muse]

Umm Closak, you do know Tiamat is dead right?

[The Odor]

Do you have any of those drinks Zanrill?

[Closak]

Nope she's not.

I do believe you have been tricked Kyuubi.

What you killed was just a really nasty and complex illusion.

*Chomps down on a random villager*

*Planeshifts away before anyone can do anything*

[Mystic Muse]

Nasty? that thing was pathetic!

and you do know when I say dead I mean it in the "obi Wan Kenobi" sense of the word right?

[Oooohaloophole]

Nope she's not.

I do believe you have been tricked Kyuubi.

What you killed was just a really nasty and complex illusion.

*Chomps down on a random villager*

*Planeshifts away before anyone can do anything*

Oops Here is a bigger one:


Well Closak you can resize this if you want. Ill call my witch doctor to deal with the remains of Auron

[The Odor]

Oh what will I do with Elan. I casted sleep on him... He was getting cranky.

[Mystic Muse]

Well Closak you can resize this if you want. Ill call my witch doctor to deal with the remains of Auron

NO ZOMBIES!

[The Odor]

Were are the great gods of Crack!!!!