Curly's Rambunctious and Erudite Random Banter #140

[Player_Zero]

What an odd thing to promise. I generally consider that to be implied when I ask to go to someone's house. Maybe I'm just too trusting...

When Zero comes to a house he promises no such thing without expressed consent.

[Kobold-Bard]

When Zero comes to a house he promises no such thing without expressed consent.

I'll remember that. Not that you're coming to my house. But you know, just in case.

[Player_Zero]

Incidentally, can I come to your house?

[Kobold-Bard]

Incidentally, can I come to your house?

Not if you're going to punch me when I open the door.

[Dogmantra]

He promised that he wouldn't, weren't you reading?

[Player_Zero]

Not if you're going to punch me when I open the door.

That's a deal breaker.

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

That's a deal breaker.

Or a nose breaker.

[Rutskarn]

Let me try a different tack. Kobold, can I punch you in the face?

[arguskos]

Let me try a different tack. Kobold, can I punch you in the face?

K-B, say yes! It's obviously a trap, and he WANTS you to say no!

[Player_Zero]

Let me try a different tack. Kobold, can I punch you in the face?

That's a paddlin'.

[Kobold-Bard]

K-B, say yes! It's obviously a trap, and he WANTS you to say no!

Your logic intrigues me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter

Still, no punching the Kobold.

[Rutskarn]

Still, no punching the Kobold.

Fascist.

I guess I'll just draw or something.

[Kobold-Bard]

Fascist.

I guess I'll just draw or something.

Why would you want to punch me? I've done nothing to you directly.

[Dogmantra]

Okay, Kobold, could I dress up as Rutsky then punch you?

[Kobold-Bard]

Okay, Kobold, could I dress up as Rutsky then punch you?

NO PUNCHING THE KOBOLD!!

For any reason, in any disguise or circumstances. EVAR!!

[Kneenibble]

That's a paddlin'.

You administer paddlings these days? Oh boy.

I'm staring at your sandles, buddy. Whatchoo got? Give me what I need.

[absolmorph]

NO PUNCHING THE KOBOLD!!

For any reason, in any disguise or circumstances. EVAR!!

Can I put a boxing glove on a spring and release it in the direction of your face?

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

Like a jack-in-a-box, the springed punch soars through the air, ready to crush the joyous expression wrought upon his face. Oh, joy.

[KuReshtin]

Doesn't anyone in here have anything better to do on a Friday night than create new Random Banter threads and and posting up to the third page?
I leave for a couple (well, 5 or 6) hours and when I come back there's a brand new RB thread in full swing.

*must remember to punch the kobold next time I see him*
I guess I should go to bed.

[Player_Zero]

Fascist.

I guess I'll just draw or something.

That's a paddlin'

Okay, Kobold, could I dress up as Rutsky then punch you?

That's a paddlin'.

You administer paddlings these days? Oh boy.

I'm staring at your sandles, buddy. Whatchoo got? Give me what I need.

...That's a paddlin'.

Paddlin' the ol' canoe...

You better believe that's a paddlin'.

[Rutskarn]

You administer paddlings these days? Oh boy.

I'm staring at your sandles, buddy. Whatchoo got? Give me what I need.

Neeby, you minx. Keep your hands off him.

Not because I'm jealous, per se. I just don't want him to come close to touching joy.

[Player_Zero]

Let me express my reaction with a graphical metaphor:

Spoiler

Show

But rest assured that I'm not going to touch anyone else's joy. However, in order to spite you now I may well replace my cynical image with a more positive outlook.

Maybe.

[Dr. Bath]

My shower smells like cocoa. Do cocoa plants grow in pipes? Is that a thing? Conundrous.

[Amiel]

Did you confuse cocoa with the other c word?

[Castaras]

You mean your pipes are a bit cracked?

[Phaedra]

There's far worse things your shower could smell of. Trust me. Enjoy the moment without over-analysing it, that's what I say.

In other, not very exciting news, I hate my neighbour. Hate hate hate. Him and his dance music.

[Player_Zero]

You should burn his house down. That'll solve your problems. It may well make a few more, but you've got to break a few eggs to make a house razing.

[Amiel]

Challenge him to a paintball standoff, or use liberal amounts of paper towels and/or waterbombs.

[Phaedra]

All of those suggestions have some merit, certainly. Sadly, I don't think any of them will really deal with a guy who genuinely scares me (well, maybe Zero's, but that would lead to a whole load of other problems). He's like the stereotypical chav, it's awful.

[Fifty-Eyed Fred]

It's a real problem. Why, just this morning I has business in town, and my shoe got caught on a beggar.