A Paladin's Heart

[chiefwaha]

"Oh, oh! I'll go with Sammy! I'll get you on a fishing boat and take out on the ocean. Nothing beats fishing on open water."

[storybookknight]

Owyn raises an eyebrow at the diminuitive paladin. "I've never really understood the allure of fishing myself... I mean, everyone enjoys having a break from trail rations, but I don't think I've ever undertaken it as a recreational activity. The closest I think I've ever come to recreational fishing would be... probably the time some children went missing near a mere in Tethys, and I went monster-hunting with some glass goggles, a spell of water breathing, and a big spear. It wasn't exactly fun, but it was at least exciting."

As they wander the city, Owyn seems to spend time examining leatherwork and fruits; specifically buying apples of various shapes and colors which he then stows into his pack - "A treat for Lady," he explains. Otherwise, it's mostly the goods of both artistic and utilitarian benefit that he examines, avoiding anything purely decorative.

[mdsoze]

I didn't mean to go out into the water. Just wander that way, see it. I don't know when I'll be here again, and I was told that it was a sight to see.

As Samson walks through the market, he splits his attention between ensuring he does not step on or kick any small children, and making sure he does not catch his horns on any banners or low obstacles.

When they pass by various booths, he looks at the goods. Occasionally he slows to examine something, the expression in his eyes suggesting that the goods available in the city are a bit of a marvel to him.

[Ryshan Ynrith]

Aleksei inspects the local goods along with Samson, making mental comparisons with the products he is familiar with.

Not bad workmanship...not as good as Venyeshi, of course, but I'd not feel foolish buying it.

As he turns his gaze from the booth, Aleksei automatically scans the street around him for any sign of trouble. Better cautious than dead.

"Fishing for pleasure? Odd concept. Who would relax by fighting wind, wave, and weather to pull a meal out of the frigid waters? Perhaps not so frigid here, but my point, I think, stands. Fishermen have a hard, dangerous job-who would wish to emulate them for play?"

[chiefwaha]

Rayvon smiles, "Nothing tastes better than a fish freshly caught yourself. And fishing is challenging, yet gives you time to think and relax while still doing something. And when you finally catch that big one, you want to catch a bigger one."

[Glikker]

As the rest of the group gets up to wander the city, Amun's interrupted tales of home trail off. He follows quietly at the back of the group. As the group wanders through the city he had seen earlier in the day, a strange change comes over his features.

At the beginning, he scowls a lot at the people and activities, at the buildings and buntings and planters, in much the same way he did on his previous visit. But as the group continues through the markets and lanes, he begins to glance back and forth between his companions and the various points of disapproval, the look on his face changing from disapproval to confusion.

Eventually he takes to following one or the other of his companions, inspecting the same wares after them, or observing this or that point of interest as it is pointed out, but always with a look more confused than exploratory.

[chiefwaha]

I wonder what his problem is? Rayvon pipes up, "Hey Amun. What do you do for fun?"

[Glikker]

Amun turns his confused look from the spread of fruit that Malfrin had recently perused to Rayvon, "I am sorry, Rayvon-Dirat. I do not understand the question."

[Ravyn]

"I've seen a lot of words that have issues in different languages, but I never thought that would be one of them," Manar comments from the other side of them, looking up from her own perusal of the inventory at a spice stand. "'S the first one Florian'd teach me in almost any language after the Big Four Phrases. Let me try to rephrase the question--what is it that you do not for the sake of duty but for the enjoyment of it?"

[storybookknight]

"The Big Four Phrases?" Owyn asks. "Let me guess. 'Where is the bathroom', 'Where can I find food,' 'How much does this cost,' and ... 'Thank You?'" Though lighthearted, Owyn is a little bit concerned about Amun. He seems... very quiet, and perhaps a little lost in the foreign culture, Owyn thinks, examining the man discreetly. I remember being in that situation the first time I got far enough away from Cormyr for the faith to really change... I'm glad I was only carrying the doctrinal dispute back and forth, rather than trying to solve it. Would it help if I tried to steer the discussion even further towards travel? Manar seems to have things well in hand... it comes naturally to her. I fear if I were to try the same, I would inadvertently offend... she is a talented woman, for all her youth. I see, perhaps, why she has been chosen as our host.

[Glikker]

Amun considers the question for a moment before replying, "I enjoy my duties, but I guess that this will not satisfy you. I enjoy reading, when I have the chance. I have always enjoyed working in the temple gardens. The flowers are a reminder of the blessings of the gods to my people. And...," he hesitates as if to add something else, "Well, yes. That is what I do 'for fun'."

[storybookknight]

"It's an interesting question from an academic perspective. Are you familiar with the works of the Helmite priest Sir Kelin Hob?" Owyn asks the body at large. "Our order and that of Helm have been working together more closely since the Time of Troubles; I'm given to understand from the high priests of the order that both deities share the burden of dealing with the monumental issue of regulating the philosophical content of duty. We each are responsible for different facets of the one larger issue, naturally - our duties aren't identical - but it's important that we at least enter into discussions and, if not come to a consensus, codify where we differ."

Owyn looks around and grins. "I'm sure that some of you might be familiar with Hob's argument, as he's not precisely a modern philosopher but rather someone whose works have shaped more than a few separate orders, but I doubt that in a crowd this diverse all of you would be. I'll summarize, but I'll try to keep it short. Essentially, both orders believe that duties cause all of us to improve as people. We believe that our duties positively reinforce our character, that they are a direct aid to our growth. The Helmite position, in contrast, is that duty is a negative reinforcement, and rather than aiding one to do right instead prevents them from doing wrong." Owyn checks around, to make sure that everyone is following the general trend of the argument. "Hob's statement, famously, is that 'Everything that is not a duty is a sin.'"

As a group of paladins, of course, none of us is a stranger to the burdens of duty. I'm familiar with the positions of Torm and Helm, naturally, but I'm curious to know where the rest of you stand in regards to duties, especially given that it has such paramount importance to our order." Owyn grins with pleasure. "If you disagree with me, I won't be offended or claim that I won't be able to work with any of you, but I fancy myself a bit of a theologian in my free time... I'd love to have a serious discussion of that, or any other noble virtue you care to mention."

[Ravyn]

"If my Order truly believed that all that was not duty was sinful, we'd never get anything done," Manar observes. "Seriously. After all, how are we supposed to remind people of the inherent goodness of the light if all that "goodness" comes across as is just do this, do that, having fun only distracts you.... if we're going to lead by example, we should be an example people want to follow. Otherwise, not only do we lose people to the fact that evil is the easy path and the most profitable, but they start going over because along with that it's more fun.... disgusting though that may be..."

She sighs and straightens her sash. "So we have fun in our off-times, and in our on-times, we take our duties and make them into something a bit more pleasant. When we can, anyway. There's nothing quite like being put on soul-saving duty when the last lost soul brought in seems to have the approximate ethics of a demon on a bad day and less in the way of manners..."

[chiefwaha]

Ravyon listens and frowns, "We're not taught to think of duty that way. Our 'order' doesn't have nearly the organization that you humans have put into it. I suppose it's my duty to follow orders from the Mothers and Fathers of Yondalla, but I don't look at it as something I have to do. More as something I want to do. Perhaps that's why there are so few chosen of Yondalla."

[Ryshan Ynrith]

Aleksei turns back from looking at a particularly exotic-looking piece of woodwork. "Duty is the foundation of my Order, Herald Owyn, and much rests upon it. I think the Zenith Order is more martial than most represented here; we are expected to give our superiors near-complete obedience, in a hierarchy extending all the way to Tyr himself. Tyr speaks to all to give his special tasks, but the general deployment of our paladins has always been regulated very strictly by the Order's leaders. Indeed, the only reason I am here is that Tyr himself spoke to me; normally, I'd be patrolling the South Downs looking for rogue mountain-beasts.

For all our adherence to our duty and structure, though, we must all keep our own moral compasses. One of the tests for promotion in the Order is in fact a false command from a trusted superior, an order to commit some wrong. A paladin, heart and soul, would not comply with the task even if pressed, and would report it to others in the Order. The candidate is closely watched, of course, and there are many who are refused promotion or even fall from grace...they are to be pitied, but if they cannot refuse to follow an unrighteous command in the safety of our own Order's halls, we cannot permit them to the various fiefs, where the law of the land and the law of Tyr often diverge. Truth to tell, I nearly failed that test myself...it took me three days of wrestling with the prospect that my master and friend had somehow Fallen before I reported him. A harsh choice, between a friend and your heart, but such things may well happen in the outside world."

[mdsoze]

Duty is only worthwhile if it is matched with dedication and accountability. If you are given a duty, you need to see it through. That said, we have each been chosen by our god, and there are times when Tyr makes his will felt, and this gives you the ultimate understanding of what is right. After I was saved, it was said that the influence of Tyr stayed the hands of the paladins who found me. So, there is duty, but it must be carried out with understanding. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here.

[storybookknight]

Owyn smiles beatifically, listening to the sounds of verbal sparring wash around him. Hob was a much older philosopher, and his theories were widely considered abrasive; while what Owyn had said regarding Hob's influence on the thought of other orders was true, in fact the majority of said influence was in opposition or reaction to his theories, rather than agreement. As for himself, well, Owyn's position could sometimes be seen as controversial.

"While my order sees duty as a moral compass, it is as previously mentioned a positivist compass. In this sense, I speak of my order in the broadest terms; I speak of all those who serve Torm. Although there is some dissension, the view of the Tormist clergy is that duties define the life of a man or woman. There is some discussion over whether there are universal duties - I have been in as many regions that claimed a woman's duty was to serve her husband as those that did not, but regardless it is by the measure of these duties that one grows as an individual and perfects themselves."

"Duty is not an absolute phenomenon, and while the methods of adhering to one's duty may be codified and written as a guide to the correct manner of living one's life, I believe that there is no single entity, be it a mortal being, scripture, or even of divine nature, that may decide a man's duty for them. The nature of duty is that of choice - by choosing to accept the duties associated with friendship, one gains the knowledge of how to make and keep friends, as well as the friendship in question. When we accept duty to a state, we naturally gain responsibility, respectability, and honor. When one accepts the duties of a knight, to defend the innocent, to uphold righteousness, and to combat evil, one naturally becomes mightier, more righteous, and more holy. If one chooses to fight the forces of evil without also accepting the duty to fight evil itself as a philosophical concept, one may themselves make devil's bargains and fall - such is not the true way of duty."

Owyn takes a deep breath. "As to the duties of the paladin - Manar, Rayvon, your answers interest me. It is my opinion that people such as we become who we are because part of our nature echoes that of the divine. This is not to say that we are born special, nor that we are of a higher order of being than those who are not paladins, but rather that the values which our deities regard as important come naturally to us, and our duties freely. Who here can truly say that he or she does not enjoy the 'burdens' placed upon us by the nature of our calling? I believe that, in truth, no goodly god would burden their chosen knights with duties that were against that person's nature to perform. While certain duties may provide extreme trouble and travail, even these bring great satisfaction at their completion. What I mean to say is that, in many ways, I have found paladins to be like the gods they serve, across every land of Toril that I have traveled to.

[Ravyn]

"Well.... even those things we are best suited to can wear on us after a while. I, for one, rather enjoy drawing out the best in the nature of those around me.... but every so often even that can be unpleasant. Particularly when the individuals in question... come across as unusually antithetical to the concept."

She sighs. "The last person of that sort I had to deal with was one Yeven the Axe. The man.... our teachings say that none but outsiders are truly beyond redemption, but... many people would consider him an exception to the rule. I am still rather surprised I was assigned to the job, given my inexperience and the nature of his crimes, but Florian was required elsewhere and it is our rule that the nearest one of us intercedes as soon as possible, particularly in the early stages. That was the first and thus far only one of my duties I was ever reluctant to even perform, much less give my full effort to--while it was a quintessential duty of the Order, and an expression of their trust in me, there was something about talking at what seemed by all counts to be a wall of darkness taken human form..." During this retelling, she folds in on herself slightly, her gaze dropping to the floor, and her tone loses the slightest bit of its usual confidence. "While the general act was completely in line with my nature, suffice it to say that that case required all the discipline I had to keep with it."

[chiefwaha]

Rayvon pauses and listens, "My question to you Owyn is, if your natures fall into line with your deities wishes why do you require so much training? My understanding is humans can request to be trained as a paladin without any particular affinity for it."

[Glikker]

Amun, who had been listening very intently to the new conversation, suddenly and unexpectedly chimed in, "I can answer that question, Rayvon-Dirat, though my answer may differ from others'

"Our natures do not 'fall into line' with our deities, as you put it. Our natures as mortals are contrary to the ideals of the greater gods. There are many who seek the favor of this or that god because the precepts of that deity match how they already live their lives.

"We, as the chosen of the greater gods, have devoted our lives to a higher ideal. We put off the natural man..." Amun pauses a moment as he glances at Manar, "... as it were, and are made Chosen through the grace of our Lords. This natural man... eh, is an enemy to the higher ideals we serve.

"We do this because we believe that all beings are made better through improvement -- through devotion to something higher, better than ourselves.

"We train because our lives are not in line with our ideals."

[storybookknight]

"I disagree, Amun. Consider, if you will, a child learning to walk. Only when they are very young and just learning is it necessary for them to expend great effort and concentration on getting each step right, so that they do not fall. When they become better, they may perform the correct action without even thinking about it. Such it is with training - while we may have an idea of the correct action, there are many occasions where it would take much thought and consideration to discern the true answer for one who was not trained. It is not merely sufficient to know the right actions, but to be able to take them quickly and reliably."

Owyn smiles. That was the most words he'd heard out of Amun since he'd met the man, and while it seems they will have much to argue about, Owyn has always appreciated a good argument. "While certainly there is something to be said for continually trying to hold ourselves to a higher standard, the fact is that we realize that that standard is a desirable goal of our own free volition, because our inner knowledge either tells us that it is so, or tells us that the person we have received this information from is reliable. Our lives may never perfectly echo our ideals, because we are fallible, but that is different from our base nature.

Owyn furrows his brow slightly as he looks at Manar. "Some adhere more closely to their good natures than others; circumstances in some lives have caused them to act in direct contrast to their natures. I believe this to be the reasons behind redemption; however as only the gods may truly know the nature of men I am open to the possibilities that all men are inherently good, or that one's inherent nature is open to change. Perhaps it is because I lack some of the insights available to your order, but I do believe that there are some who are irredeemable in nature, so neither of those options appeal to me as much as the first one I mentioned."

"In response to your other argument - a friend of mine once told me 'I hate to write, but I love to have written.' Is there perhaps a similar analogy pertaining to your example? Surely, you don't regret having attempted the work after the fact."

[Ravyn]

"That does about sum it up." Manar shrugs. "As Florian always put it, 'Everything will look better from tomorrow--but we still need to get through today first.' And even comparatively decent people can be frustrating. It's not impossible, though; there are merely many who are for whatever reason beyond my skills to win over."

[chiefwaha]

Rayvon shakes his head, "Those ideas are foreign to me. The Chosen of Yondalla just are. Sometimes the Favored, as we're called before we attach ourselves to the church, never realize their calling. The Mothers and Fathers and Chosen of Yondalla can even tell who the Favored are, but we cannot say it. Part of being Chosen is realizing it, although I suppose coming to that realization by ourselves is kind of like our training."

[Glikker]

Amun smiles as he hears Owyn's reply, "You say you disagree with me, but our arguments are very similar. I trained for some time to feel the taint of the sylmach, the undead, and at first, it was very difficult. That part of my training is past, and it is second nature to me, much as walking is. Through my training, it has become easy for me to resist many temptations, while others remain a challenge for me, and I believe further training, both personal and through my Order, will help me overcome these challenges as well.

"I see too much evil in the world to believe that beings, left uninfluenced, will generally choose good. So I understand our nature to be generally... if not evil, then selfish. It is our conscience that, when heeded, hints at a higher way. It is our higher standards that lead us away from this nature, and it is our training that makes it easier every day for us to choose the right."

Amun considered the other's argument a moment and then continued, "I suppose the difference between our views here is that you believe beings to be generally good in nature, while I believe that they are selfish in nature, though we all have a conscience to tell us that there is a better way. And when I speak of training, I am not referring solely to the exercises and classes that our temples require of us. It is in our daily living and habits that we, meaning all beings, train ourselves."

[storybookknight]

Owyn bows slightly to Amun, as if acknowledging a hit in a fencing match. "I acknowledge your assessment of one of the facets of our disagreement, Amun-Dirat, but I believe there are yet more to be explored. You say that beings if left uninfluenced will not generally choose good, but I believe that such an outlook is in fact misleading. As the famous elven philosopher Eristoc stated, no being logically chooses to do evil, for such an act will degrade the quality of the world around you, so that others will be more likely to choose to do evil to you in return. As no being wishes to suffer injury, the logical choice to minimize personal injury is to begin by injuring none - while this is an incomplete definition of 'evil' and 'good', the fact remains that the most plausible explanation for people to do evil is that they are influenced to do so."

"Unlike Hob, however, I do not ascribe this influence to either one's inner nature nor to outside temptations such as the work of devils. While certainly such provocations can occur, the being in control of their faculties may deny them with ease. The root of evil actions is instead misunderstanding. If it were not believed that evil actions had rewarding outcomes, they would never be undertaken. That such actions distance oneself from society, from goodly and loving deities, from happiness. Stolen money brings with it much uneasiness, and murder either much guilt or a slow distancing of self from reality. Evil actions, in a way, are their own punishment."

Owyn tilts his head to the side, thinking a moment. "However, we speak of the applications of duty. Are you familiar with the gods Kelemvor and Mystra, Amun-Dirat? The ideals of Kelemvor in particular seem very close to those of your own deity - he is the lord of the dead, whereas Mystra is the goddess of magic. They were beings once mortal, who ascended to divine power during the Time of Troubles by the grace of the one called Ao. Along with them came a third, Cyric. Now, all three were granted an understanding beyond that of mortal ken, but of those three, one went mad. It is understood by the priests of our order that Kelemvor and Mystra maintained their sanity because, unlike Cyric, they understood that their powers came with commensurate duties. Duty allows us to master the powers that we hold, without allowing them to master us, as might occur with a dragon that lusts for treasure or a wizard who lusts for ever increasing knowledge. According to Torm, whose word was passed to the highest of our priests, Cyric decided that his powers existed for his personal amusement, and so became their pawn."

"Consider the metaphor of sailing ships - If their sails are not poised to catch the wind that powers them by strong and unbreakable tethers, they will instead be blown about in all directions, and eventually sink." Owyn sniffs the air and smiles, turning to Samson. "Speaking of sailing ships, unless I am mistaken, Sir Samson, we will be able to see the ocean from around the next corner."

[mdsoze]

Samson shakes his head.

It seems, to me, that the difference comes from defining what it means to be "Chosen". Is someone who is "chosen" merely someone who could possibly act as a champion of a deity, or does being "chosen" imply that you have acknowledged and accepted that honor.

Training, education, and learning are what transforms the first kind of chosen into the second.

[Toliudar]

Malfrin

Malfrin frowns in concentration, trying hard to focus on the finer points of Owyn and Amun's dialogue.

Dunno about that, Samson. I figure that of all of us, I've got the least of all three of those things you talked about. Education and learning, well, no, not really. Owyn's trying to train me up to be a proper Squire, and I'm trying, but it ain't like - It isn't first nature to me.

Lots of places I see young folk with way more understanding of scripture than me. Way better with a sword. Maybe wiser and kinder and all that too, I don't know. Thing is, a lot of them, they don't become...this. Us.

I dunno. Maybe it's wrong to say that training and passion aren't enough to make you a champion. But that's how I feel. I didn't pick this. It just kind of found me, and when I tried it on, it fit right. Like a really, really good pair of breeches, right? Tight in all the right places, and it somehow helps support you when you need to make a move.

[chiefwaha]

Rayvon chuckles at Malfrin's story, "Very much like my own story Mal." He turns to Samson, "For us Samson, Chosen means your second definition. But for our order, part of our initiation is coming to that realization on our own. We can't train into it. The best we can do to guide a favored to the fold is lead by example."

[Glikker]

Amun listens to Owyn and nods his agreement, "I have heard the stories and am familiar with Kelemvor. My Lord Osiris works closely with the Judge of the Dead. As far as application of duty goes, I view this as an extension of our decisions to live our lives in this or that manner.

"I see my decision to be kind and friendly as a duty to the person I wish to become, in just the same way that my oath to protect the integrity of the Black Gate is a duty to the god I have sworn to serve."

Amun looks around him at the other people milling about the city, a mixture of wonder and pity on his face. "The difference is only that I have formalized my duties and from my diligence in obedience, I draw power granted by my god."

[Varen_Tai]

And then they turned the corner towards the sea. The walkway opened up in front of them as they crested the hill to look down on the harbors and beaches around Waterdeep. Even for those who had seen it many times, knowing that Samson had never experienced it made it like new for all of them, and the whole group stopped and looked over the seemingly infinite ocean, and Waterdeep's huge statues and the variety of ships in port, plus the ones coming and going on a regular basis. Aleksei turned towards his fellow brother in Tyr and laid his hand on his broad shoulder in silence as the minotaur drank in the scene before him.

The sun was setting deep in the west, only a half disk showing above the vast reaches of water, and the clouds were pink and red and orange, the water glowed with the sunlight as it flowed across towards the little group.

As sunsets go, this one was rather spectacular, made even more special by the shared experience of silence between the little group. Most pedestrians took no notice and continued their hurried way, though one small urchin skidded to a halt next to the group, staring at the huge paladin and his armor reflecting the red light. Following their gaze, the boy looked out to the sunset and smiled once.

"It's beautiful, ain't it?" he said before dashing off again into the crowd.