LGBTitp - Part Seven

[Delusion]

We got two inches earlier this year. It was the most i'd seen in my entire life.

I win.

I misread that as 'earlier this week' and was confused as hell.

[Lyesmith]

We got two inches earlier this year. It was the most i'd seen in my entire life.

...That's what SHE said!

wait, what?

Where I am got *covered* in the white stuff, so thick a covering all the roads on hills were closed. As it's hill-city, the entire town ground to a halt.

I also witnessed 3 car crashes between empty cars at 4AM and sold coffee to those stuck in the massive pileups from hell. This is what happens when councils forget to salt the roads.

[Lix Lorn]

...That's what SHE said!

wait, what?

Where I am got *covered* in the white stuff, so thick a covering all the roads on hills were closed. As it's hill-city, the entire town ground to a halt.

I also witnessed 3 car crashes between empty cars at 4AM and sold coffee to those stuck in the massive pileups from hell. This is what happens when councils forget to salt the roads.

I knew someone would say it. XD

Ouch. ._.

[Tricksy Hobbits]

...That's what SHE said!

After that, I read the first half of your next sentence much differently.

[Coidzor]

After that, I read the first half of your next sentence much differently.

Yes, thank you, that was the point.

[Lix Lorn]

After that, I read the first half of your next sentence much differently.

Pfffff (Hysterics)

[Kara Kuro]

Rolf.

At least in Wisconsin MOST people are used to driving in snow.

[Danne]

People in my area are funny about snow. The media gets all, "It's the STORM OF THE CENTURY!!!111!!1!" and people flock to the stores to stock up on canned food, and then we end up getting three snowflakes and a light frost. I've gotten snow days and early dismissals from school, and then had the promised storm miss us entirely. And I love snow. I wish we got more of it! (Send me your excess, my minions. )

On topic...I actually had a very nice conversation with my mom (who I've expressed concerns about before), my brother (who describes himself as "tolerantly homophobic"*), and my dad (who I have no idea how he'd feel if I came out) about transgender people. Not specifically related to me (not ready for that yet...) but just in general, what it means, what trans people feel, the difference between a drag queen and a MtF person, the fact that there are FtM people, too... And they were very receptive, and it was just cozy and nice. Made me feel good.

*By which he means LGBT-related things make him very uncomfortable, but he would never harass any person and believes that we should have equal rights.

[Kara Kuro]

People in my area are funny about snow. The media gets all, "It's the STORM OF THE CENTURY!!!111!!1!" and people flock to the stores to stock up on canned food, and then we end up getting three snowflakes and a light frost. I've gotten snow days and early dismissals from school, and then had the promised storm miss us entirely. And I love snow. I wish we got more of it! (Send me your excess, my minions. )

On topic...I actually had a very nice conversation with my mom (who I've expressed concerns about before), my brother (who describes himself as "tolerantly homophobic"*), and my dad (who I have no idea how he'd feel if I came out) about transgender people. Not specifically related to me (not ready for that yet...) but just in general, what it means, what trans people feel, the difference between a drag queen and a MtF person, the fact that there are FtM people, too... And they were very receptive, and it was just cozy and nice. Made me feel good.

*By which he means LGBT-related things make him very uncomfortable, but he would never harass any person and believes that we should have equal rights.

Thats great. I'm happy for you.

And good for your brother too, I wish more people who were the average homophobic would wise up and take after his example.

[Coidzor]

This reminds me of a quandary I ran into with some friends a few nights ago after we were discussing my first foray to a drag show.

Mostly, what level of homophobia it is to hate camp behavior.

[Thufir]

This reminds me of a quandary I ran into with some friends a few nights ago after we were discussing my first foray to a drag show.

Mostly, what level of homophobia it is to hate camp behavior.

I don't think that's really homophobia. There's a distinction between having a problem with homosexuality, and having a problem with behaviour typical to a great many homosexuals.
I don't know of the Greek equivalent of 'camp', but technically I suppose it would be that-phobia.

[Danne]

Thats great. I'm happy for you.

And good for your brother too, I wish more people who were the average homophobic would wise up and take after his example.

Thank you.

Yeah, my brother's a pretty cool guy. I've only encountered that philosophy once before, in a social studies class when the subject of gay rights came up. One student raised his hand and explained that while he, personally, believes homosexuality is wrong, he would vote for gay marriage because he has no right to impose his beliefs on other people. The whole, "this country is not a theocracy" thing. He and an openly gay student had a long, amicable conversation about it. I swear my jaw dropped and I wanted to run across the room and give them both a hug.

[Lix Lorn]

Faith in humanity +3!
With a bit more work, it might only be two digits negative...

[golentan]

So, yeah... I could use some advice.
.
..
...
.....
........
.............

Fibonacci stalling aside, any advice on how to deal with someone whose response to learning I'm bi is to assume I'm attracted to them, when I really, REALLY am not? At all.

They have refused to believe me when I tell them, to head off such replies. If anybody else has had similar problems, how did you deal with it?

[Danne]

When you say this person thinks you like him/her, does s/he think that's a good thing or a bad thing. I.e., is s/he trying to flirt with you now, or is s/he uncomfortable because s/he thinks you have unrequited feelings? Because the response could be different depending on which scenario it is.

[Serpentine]

Merciless belittlement.

[Coidzor]

Fibonacci stalling aside, any advice on how to deal with someone whose response to learning I'm bi is to assume I'm attracted to them, when I really, REALLY am not? At all.

They have refused to believe me when I tell them, to head off such replies. If anybody else has had similar problems, how did you deal with it?

So... Does this person want you or are they disgusted and think you're going to try to drug and rape him or her?

Because, well, being baselessly accused of being a rapist is grounds for immediate ...facilitation of communications and ending of hostilities.

[Danne]

@^: Which is what I was trying to ask, but you phrased it better.

[golentan]

The "hitting on me" one. I don't spend time with people who construct elaborate fantasies about me violating my ethics standards.

[Coidzor]

The "hitting on me" one. I don't spend time with people who construct elaborate fantasies about me violating my ethics standards.

Pepper spray, then.

Or, a spray bottle to hit them with water whenever they get out of line, like with a cat or dog.

[Kara Kuro]

When you say this person thinks you like him/her, does s/he think that's a good thing or a bad thing. I.e., is s/he trying to flirt with you now, or is s/he uncomfortable because s/he thinks you have unrequited feelings? Because the response could be different depending on which scenario it is.

Not to sound completely shallow, but one of the BEST ways to convince some one that you're not interested in them (or if it is the case, which is some times can be, they're not in your "league" so to speak) is to get involved or explicitly say that you're interested in some one else. In the event that you want to express that this other person is not in your league, again not trying to sound shallow XD Although I'm probably not doing a very good job of it.... Is to make that person you're interested in someone obviously... impressive? That might be the right word.

I had a similar experience in college this year when a freshmen in the group of younger students I typically take under my wing decided that I was "the one" for him.... I felt really bad repetitively turning the poor kid down, but I just could never see myself dating someone who was so immature. He certainly had other good qualities, but I certainly wasn't the one for him. Am I helping at all or just making myself sound conceited?

[golentan]

So my options are already down to "ignore him" or "the marx brothers have a response," with an optional Groucho or Harpo modular unit.

Okay, then.

[Coidzor]

So my options are already down to "ignore him" or "the marx brothers have a response," with an optional Groucho or Harpo modular unit.

Okay, then.

Well, I mean, when Diplomacy fails, it's time to roll initiative.

[golentan]

Well, I mean, when Diplomacy fails, it's time to roll initiative.

Words cannot express how much I disagree.

[Coidzor]

Words cannot express how much I disagree.

Well, as far as cricket chirps that's one of the worst ones to get. Apparently no one else has any better ideas though, if stern language and your emphatic body language denying him aren't working. I'm rather disappointed by this myself.

[Danne]

The "hitting on me" one. I don't spend time with people who construct elaborate fantasies about me violating my ethics standards.

Seems like a good rule to follow.

You don't seem the type to be wishy washy about how you say things, but the only thing I can think of is to, calmly and in a no nonsense tone of voice, keep explaining that you're not interested. I find low, slower voices work best when trying to get someone disagreeable to do what I want.

Maybe toss out an ultimatum? "No, you need to stop this. I'm not interested in you. If you can't manage to understand that, then we can't spend time together anymore." Maybe if you make the threat he'll understand that you're serious.

Edit: Also, make sure he's not laughing or joking around when you say it. Make direct eye contact, and make sure he's doing the same thing. Body language can be pretty useful in trying to get someone to understand you.

[Lyesmith]

Well, I mean, when Diplomacy fails, it's time to roll initiative.

That is the best way of expressing how I feel about this sort of thing in general.
You could always mock the person without mercy, possibly hit any easily-damagable nerves to cause maximum damage. Make them think twice, y'know?


Failing that, seduce them and then tell everyone how awful they were in the sack.

[Kara Kuro]

Failing that, seduce them and then tell everyone how awful they were in the sack.

That just sounds malicious....

I like.

[Danne]

That is the best way of expressing how I feel about this sort of thing in general.
You could always mock the person without mercy, possibly hit any easily-damagable nerves to cause maximum damage. Make them think twice, y'know?


Failing that, seduce them and then tell everyone how awful they were in the sack.

I do hope you're not serious. There are plenty of ways to get people to leave you alone that do not involve humiliating them or other forms of cruelty.

@v: Yeah, exactly.

[Drolyt]

I'm confused about some of the responses here. He's having trouble with someone he's not interested in hitting on him, and your response is to use violence or to otherwise harm the person? I don't get it, this person isn't necessarily even doing anything wrong, Golentan just needs to let this person know he's not interested, why would you advise Golentan to be mean about it?