[BitP:R] BleachitP: Reborn: OOC Thread 11

[Edge]

Now if we can just make sure Garoux outlasts all the other competition in the tournament, we'll be set!

... I feel I'm missing a reference here, and I feel it should be one I know.

Of course, I could just be reading too much into it. >.>

[KnightDisciple]

... I feel I'm missing a reference here, and I feel it should be one I know.

Of course, I could just be reading too much into it. >.>

No reference really.

I just want Vicente to be owed 2 favors from the Ghost King, let alone anyone else who took his bet.

Edit: Huh. Pico and Von Geister are the only ones who've taken Vicente up on the bet. Unless I missed something. Clearly the other Espada have no sense of adventure.

[Callos_DeTerran]

Edit: Huh. Pico and Von Geister are the only ones who've taken Vicente up on the bet. Unless I missed something. Clearly the other Espada have no sense of adventure.

"Thar's no favor owl-gi can do fer me 'at Ah can't do fer mahself."

[KnightDisciple]

"Thar's no favor owl-gi can do fer me 'at Ah can't do fer mahself."

Vicente's bet was that he would pay others in inventions. It's Vicente who would receive favors.

You're sure there's not a single device he either has, or could build, that Genoveva wouldn't want?

[The Librarian]

Hey all, just wanted to post saying I'm still alive. Plan on posting again relatively soon.

Anyway yeah, some of you all probably know already but Bleach 417 is up.

Go read it, Be excited, Eat Cake.

Thoughts on New Ichigo...

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http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/0812/overpowered-demotivational-poster-1229537307.jpg
Picture above is new Ichigo. From the looks of it, Aizen. Is. Royally. F*****!

Must go now, much work their is to be done still.

[Terry576]

On the New Chapter:

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Finally. I was getting tired of Aizen's God Mode Form. It's tiresome how he's all like "HUR HUR, ONESHOT LOL."

[Moon Wolf]

My thoughts?

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New Ichigo=daaaaamn...

[Terry576]

Quick question KD:

Is it alarm bell time for Karite? Or should I wait for someone to call in?

[KnightDisciple]

Quick question KD:

Is it alarm bell time for Karite? Or should I wait for someone to call in?

Um...I'm not the officer in charge?

I dunno what gear the 13th would have. I just know Yoshi's way the hell too busy to call.

That said, his radio link is still open to Team Three. So, theoretically, they could have heard everything that just happened.

[tgva8889]

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At least other people noticed the fact that Ichigo probably aged a significant amount of time trying to defeat his inner power. My guess would be the full 3 months, but maybe not.

Who is "Imoyama-san"? I'm sure this is a character I should know but I don't.

[KnightDisciple]

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At least other people noticed the fact that Ichigo probably aged a significant amount of time trying to defeat his inner power. My guess would be the full 3 months, but maybe not.

Who is "Imoyama-san"? I'm sure this is a character I should know but I don't.

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Maybe it means "afro-san" or something.

[riccaru]

Quick question KD:

Is it alarm bell time for Karite? Or should I wait for someone to call in?

Uhhh, Hachirou is supposed to call in to Akio who will tell Karite before heading off to intercept and slow down Elder and Auset. Karite will show up and fight one, while Akio fights the other.

[strawberryman]

Hope I'm not off on getting Hibiki out of the way.

[tgva8889]

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Maybe it means "afro-san" or something.

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That would make sense, huh? That seems likely.

[riccaru]

Uhh. Shades, Paramonos saw Serazel(?) take the Shinigami from Geister's chamber a few days ago.

[Hadrian_Emrys]

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... Still boring. Ichigo has his bankai already going, and Aizen hasn't even activated his shikai/rez. Despite Ichigo's current Quincy-level demeanor of self-composure, I'm still bracing for more ass-pulling.

[KnightDisciple]

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... Still boring. Ichigo has his bankai already going, and Aizen hasn't even activated his shikai/rez. Despite Ichigo's current Quincy-level demeanor of self-composure, I'm still bracing for more ass-pulling.

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You have to admit it was nice seeing Aizen actually inconvenienced for real.

Beyond that, I think our speculations here are onto something. I'll be sad if it isn't anywhere close to the truth.

[Hadrian_Emrys]

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o_O If by "inconvenienced" you mean he'll have to actually take his kid gloves off, then yes... -I suppose. I still maintain my doubts as to the series' return to awesome until Kubo stops textually wanking off his pet villain sue.

[Callos_DeTerran]

This constant talk about Auset's immense power is becoming a bit disquieting. xD Really, the whole reason I offered her up for this is because she's...

A) Capable of being defeated by a bunch of weaker opponents without plot sheninagans.

B) Her abilities are such that she isn't instantly lethal to weaker opponents

C) Is too lazy to spam cero/bala, thus not likely to cause massive collateral damage or inadvertently blow up people.

xD I mean sure... her regeneration is hella good but that's what she has going for her. Also...Dorzzit, wouldn't having a shinigami being bodily thrown into him interrupt his chant? >.> That's kinda why Auset threw Kyou at him.

[Wahrheit]

I finished my character. My apologies ahead of time if I'm posting him in the wrong place, but I'd like some feedback before posting him to the character registry. My general idea with him is sort of a "glass cannon": very powerful offensively, especially if he gets the first strike, but not very precise or good at defense.

Shizuka Magatsu
(Family, then given name)

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Gender: Male
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 190 pounds
Hair: Black (Bleached platinum blond)
Eyes: Pale Blue
Age (actual): 370
Age (appearance): 27
Reiatsu color: Green with dark green streaks
Division: 3rd
Rank: Vice-Captain


Appearance:

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My apologies for the rough sketch. I'll make a better one eventually.

Magatsu is tall and well-muscled but slightly gaunt, with shaggy bleached-blond hair and extremely pale blue eyes. He has a thin, stubbly beard along the edge of his jaw and a goatee. He dresses in the usual manner of shinigami, making no particular modifications to the standard black kimono or lieutenant's armband, keeping his zanpakutou in his sash.

Personality:

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Magatsu is, in short, cynical and kind of a jerk. He lives on schadenfreude and tends to be rude to just about everyone, though not to the point of stupidity. He has a very dark sense of humor, often finding something to laugh at in even the most ghastly situations, and enjoys being a devil's advocate when his advice is sought. Magatsu's temperament seems at first more suited to the 11th Division, but his love of fighting is actually more a love of hurting others channeled into an acceptable outlet that benefits Soul Society. After all, few shinigami will complain if he toys with more intelligent Hollows, fighting at partial strength and slowly increasing to inflict despair upon his opponent, as long as the Hollow ends up purified and his sport doesn't harm anyone else.

History:

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Magatsu grew up in the 72nd district of West Rukongai, and not only survived but thrived in the brutal environment. His lack of any memory of a prior lifetime indicated he must have been a Menos who was purified, also nicely explaining his rather impressive reiatsu. Eventually, he became involved in the sidelines of a clash between criminals in the district that drew shinigami attention. The shinigami that arrived sensed Magatsu's potential and brought him to the Shinigami Academy. He was no prodigy, but did very well, especially in the combat and hado training, though even at this early stage he proved utterly inept with bakudo and showed little defensive ability. When he graduated, Magatsu turned down a chance to join the 11th Division, instead opting to join the 3rd. He steadily worked his way up the ranks, proving himself time and again in combat, until he at last reached the position of Vice-Captain. He seems content in his current position, but continues to train in hopes of achieving Bankai.

Zanpakutou: Eternal Vortex

Zanpakutou release command: Annihilate, Eternal Vortex!

Zanpakutou Spirit:

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Eternal Vortex takes the form of a hulking hyena-man, approximately eight feet tall and armored in dark metal, bearing wings of jagged blades. His eyes are empty portals to a howling expanse of sickly green flame. The weapons he wields change every time he leaves the observer's sight, even for a moment.

Inner World:

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An immense metropolis built around a mesa topped by towering skyscrapers, surrounded by an endless blasted wasteland. The sky is a roiling mass of lightning-filled storm clouds, with occasional gaps in the storm revealing a glowing orange sky. The skyscrapers atop the mesa pierce the clouds to reach an unknown height. The constant lightning frequently strikes within the city, each bolt leaving behind a bladed weapon of some sort embedded in the ground; these blades slowly disperse into sparks over the course of several days. The wasteland around the city is filled with countless weapons stretching out to the horizon.

Zanpakutou Unreleased Form:

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Eternal Vortex usually appears as a relatively ordinary to, its crossguard in the shape of a stylized spiral with nine spikes protruding around the circumference and curving towards the blade. Its hilt is wrapped in worn black leather, and the blade itself doesn't quite reflect light properly.

Shikai:

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When released, Eternal Vortex shimmers and vanishes in a flash of dark green light, near-instantly reforming into eight swords, spears, and similar bladed weapons floating in the air around Magatsu. Magatsu mentally controls these weapons and can use them to attack nearby opponents as though holding them, or launch them at ranged opponents as projectiles travelling in straight lines, which return to him a short time after impact. The blades of Eternal Vortex can be used to block and parry attacks, but are noticably clumsy in doing so. The blades can all be controlled simultaneously, but have no ability to act without Magatsu's direct control.

Special power

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Whenever one of the blades of Eternal Vortex strikes a target when fired as a projectile, it releases a rippling surge of reiatsu that shreds apart matter and spirit particles within a small area, resulting in horrific wounds when striking flesh and good-sized explosions when hitting other solid objects.

Additionally, Magatsu can activate an attack known as Ripple Scream Lance. All eight of his weapons must be present around him and form an array touching their points to each other. The reiatsu surges from them begin to compound each other, building into a mass of reiatsu which lashes out in a highly destructive beam after a short charging period. Different angles of the array adjust the width of the beam, but the beam becomes less damaging the wider it is. Magatsu rarely uses this attack outside of ambushes due to how it leaves him completely defenseless until it fires and how any mistake in arranging the blade array could result in the gathered reiatsu backlashing onto him.

Bankai (not yet achieved)

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Heaven-Slaying Eternal Vortex is the true name of Magatsu's zanpakutou. When released, Eternal Vortex disappears as in its shikai state, but a narrow pillar of reiatsu erupts from the ground behind Magatsu and rapidly widens, becoming an enormous rippling field of reiatsu from which thousands of blades emerge, hovering in array. These blades can be controlled just as with shikai, but obviously in far greater numbers. The blades now explode on impact with more power than Ripple Scream Lance when used as projectiles, but more instantly form behind Magatsu and are immediately ready for use. It is easier for Magatsu to defend himself from attacks with his bankai thanks to the sheer number of blades available, but still by no means perfect. Additionally, Magatsu grows wings of jagged blades identical to his zanpakutou spirit's.

Skills:

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Shunpo: Magatsu is proficient in shunpo and able to keep up with other Vice-Captain-level Shinigami.

Hado Specialist: Magatsu is capable of using Hado up to #63 without the incantation with relative ease, and up to #80 with incantation. However, he is capable of using Bakudo of only up to #10 without incantation and up to #30 with incantation.

Master Swordsman: Magatsu is a highly skilled combatant in swordsmanship techniques, largely due to his shikai forcing him to fight with multiple weapons simultaneously.

Expert Tactician: Magatsu is very conscious of his defensive weakness and often makes use of battlefield conditions and the nature of his zanpakutou to compensate.

Enhanced Endurance: Magatsu is capable of withstanding difficult conditions for long periods of time, even combat against multiple opponents.

High Spiritual Energy: Being a Vice-Captain of the Gotei 13, Magatsu boasts high levels of reiatsu.

[tgva8889]

Sounds like Quincy powers to me...

I guess besides that, I don't see any problems. My biggest issue is that you be able to play "Glass Cannon" in a way that's fun. I mean, it's really irritating when your opponent just dodges all your attacks the entire time, and if he can't take any attacks that all you really can do.

[Wahrheit]

Sounds like Quincy powers to me...

I guess besides that, I don't see any problems. My biggest issue is that you be able to play "Glass Cannon" in a way that's fun. I mean, it's really irritating when your opponent just dodges all your attacks the entire time, and if he can't take any attacks that all you really can do.

He can take some attacks, since Vice-Captains have a fair bit of durability just by virtue of their power, just not nearly as many as a brick like, say, Ikkaku. My intention with his shikai is also to have it be far more effective in melee despite its ranged capability. Mostly he's the sort of character who needs to work with others and think about how he can offset his weaknesses in order to be truly effective.

[Dorizzit]

Dorizzit, wouldn't having a shinigami being bodily thrown into him interrupt his chant? >.> That's kinda why Auset threw Kyou at him.

Right, didn't see that.

[Kayne650]

All right, this is my first time posting in an RP forum, so if I'm getting things wrong, please let me know. Also, my actual knowledge of Japanese is virtually nonexistent, as it all comes from anime, so if I'm getting any words wrong in my Zanpakutou names, please let me know. So, with no further ado, here's my character!

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Name: Koishima Daisuke
Gender: Male
Age (Actual/Apparent): 113/16
Height: 5’ 6”
Weight: 125 lb
Affiliation: 3rd division
Rank: 3rd seat (candidate)

Appearance: Appearing as a boy in his late teens, Daisuke has a friendly face and wide eyes, making him appear younger than he is. Shorter than most boys his age, Daisuke has worked hard to make up for what he perceives as a flaw, training his body until he can’t anymore.

Personality: Daisuke is a very eager and earnest young man, one who has a distressing habit of trusting most of the people he meets. What most people agree to be his greatest flaw would be his complete devotion to Magatsu, a man so completely opposite from Daisuke as to be laughable. Though Daisuke is usually open about himself, he has never said why. Daisuke also looks at Sakura, the captain of the 3rd division, with a sort of reverence despite the fact that her philosophy differs so radically from Magatsu's. He attempts to take after both of them, though if their philosophies conflict (a common occurrence), he always takes Magatsu's side, though he is reluctant to do so in front of Sakura.

Background:

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Daisuke grew up with parents and siblings, like most people, and he led a fairly content life. Until one day, when a hollow came running through his home district. It wasn’t a particularly large or dangerous hollow, just a single Menos. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it hadn’t been caught by any Shinigami, and it was to the sight of the Menos devouring his family that Daisuke woke up to one morning.

Terrified, he had bolted from his bed, just in time to avoid the downswing of the Menos, who had heard him gasp. He tried to run for safety, but was stopped by the Menos, who picked him up and held him with horrifying ease. Struggling, he had just closed his eyes and accepted death when he felt himself falling to the ground. Opening his eyes again, he saw the Menos’ arm severed at the elbow. Looking around for his savior, he saw a man that he would later call lieutenant standing by the Menos, hatred blazing in his eyes. He watched in wide-eyed amazement as the man unleashed his Shikai, felling the beast before Daisuke could even blink.

The man approached Daisuke, asking if that was his family that lay on the ground around them. Daisuke had simply nodded, still not comprehending what was going on. He did notice one thing though; the hollow was not dead. Seeing the Menos rise up behind the man, Daisuke had grabbed one of the man’s many swords and cut the beast down himself, striking straight through the mask. The man had looked at Daisuke oddly then, and asked if Daisuke would like to come with him. Daisuke agreed, and the man known as Magatsu brought him back to the Seireitei, where Daisuke would begin his training as a Shinigami.

Inner World: Daisuke’s inner world appears as an ancient Shinto temple, worn away by time and taken over by plants. The entire area has an air of calm about it, a certain peace that other inner worlds lack. The most striking feature is a single, enormous Sakura tree standing directly behind the main temple

Zanpakutou Spirit: The Zetsubougitsune manifests itself as a large pale yellow fox with more tails than a fox should, though the actual number varies. What Daisuke doesn’t know and Kitsune isn’t telling is that the actual number of tails represents Daisuke’s progress towards Bankai, which Daisuke will achieve when Kitsune achieves nine tails.

Powers and Abilities:

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Expert Swordsmanship Specialist: As a way to imitate Magatsu, and to make up for his short stature, Daisuke has put his heart and soul into learning the way of the sword, achieving an impressive and almost lieutenant-level of skill.

Flash Step: Daisuke is reasonably skilled at Flash Steps, though he finds that it tends to exhaust his reiatsu rather quickly. However, when in his released form, it is only method of travel.

Enhanced Strength: Daisuke has startling levels of strength, known to be capable of fending off Magatsu’s assaults, assuming he holds his weapons, and doesn’t use his long range skill.

Moderate Spiritual Energy: Daisuke has startlingly low levels of reiatsu, particularly for a third seat, though it has been hypothesized that this is because his Zanpakutou actually drains a portion of his reiatsu and stores it in itself, which is why it gives him such ridiculous levels of reiatsu in Shikai. However, if that is so, then it means that his actual levels of reiatsu would exceed captain levels, since his first time releasing his Shikai caused everyone in the Seireitei to simultaneously collapse, crushed by his spiritual pressure.

Kido Expert: Daisuke has proven himself capable of performing mid-level Hado and Bakudo without incantation, though he finds this hard to keep up due to his low levels of reiatsu. However, he has studied the theories of Hado and Bakudo of up to level 99, which enables him to perform both when in his Shikai.

Shikai: Zetsubougitsune (Fox Spirit of Despair)

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Release command: “Dash forth!”
Appearance: When released, Daisuke’s blade completely vanished, hilt and all. In its stead, in a flash of blue flame, Daisuke gains a number of tails ranging from one to nine, each tail tipped by a white flame. This flame is actually just reiatsu, so it doesn’t give off any heat, though it does create light. Daisuke loses any weapons, his Zanpakutou instead manifesting as the tails.

Special Ability: Zetsubougitsune, once released, increases Daisuke’s reiatsu to almost infinite levels, allowing him to perform feats that would be impossible for Shinigami with twice his experience. Unfortunately, as long as Shikai lasts the flames quickly consume the tails, acting as a sort of timer for how long the Shikai will last, which is currently about five seconds. Once all the tails have been consumed the Shikai ends and the sword automatically re-seals itself. An unfortunate side effect is that after the Shikai ends, Daisuke fall unconscious, completely exhausted. After use of this Shikai, Daisuke usually requires about four hours of rest before he is ready to fight again.

One Last Trick: At any point while the tails remain (even just a portion of the tails), Daisuke can release his remaining reiatsu in a burst around him in a radius of pure harmful reiatsu, though he has absolutely no control over what it effects, or even the radius of the effect. This has approximately the same effect as a Cero thrown in a radius as opposed to a beam, and is extraordinarily powerful as a result. Unfortunately, the release of this much reiatsu at once puts an enormous strain on Daisuke’s body, doubling the time he is incapacitated afterwards.

Bankai (Not yet achieved): Tengetsugitsune (Fox Spirit of the Heavenly Moon)

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Appearance: Tengetsugitsune appears similar to the Shikai, though the burst of fire is significantly larger and brighter, ending with the fire retreating to swirl around the tips of Daisuke’s nine new tails, burning with yellow flames. Daisuke’s usual shihakusho is replaced with a blue-and-yellow coat and pants that offer much more freedom of movement. His hands burn with blue flame, shaped like the claws of a fox.

Special Ability: The Tengetsugitsune also gives Daisuke near-limitless reiatsu, though this last much longer, as the tails take significantly more work to be consumed. While in this form, Daisuke is capable of transporting himself with shunpo across miles, utilizing 85th level Hado and Bakudo without incantations, and throwing Cero-like blasts from any of his nine tails (though this accelerates the fire’s rate of consumption). This power is completely theoretical, as Daisuke has yet to achieve this, and because Daisuke, at his current power level, cannot even come close to this level of power. Unfortunately, it is possible that such a significant release of reiatsu from a person not used to utilizing that much at once could cause weeks of incapacitation, if not death.

[strawberryman]

@Magatsu: Looks good, on a skim.

@Daisuke: I'm a little wary about the implications of his bankai, and shikai at that. All-Out "Attacks" like that are balanced awfully since they let the character take on foes that they really shouldn't, and recovery time needs to be truly followed. That said, the phrasing of "infinite" is a bit concerning, and though Bankai is supposed to be... well, Bankai, I dunno about level 99 incantationless kido (at even close to full strength). Even 80 is a pretty big deal. That said, I have nothing against a straight power boost if it's handled appropriately. If he could fight VC-level with his Shikai where he would otherwise be unable, that's acceptable.

However, do keep in mind that most plots will be balanced with a certain "power level" in mind, so keeping tabs on it will avoid frustrations.

[Kuroimaken]

OK, let's see if I can help you with a couple of things then.

Just so you know, the most common kanji for "Koishima" would spell out "Island of Passion" (passion being the romantic sort, there).

I wager you meant to write Zetsubou no Kitsune instead (or Zetsubougitsune, in case you want to skip the 'no'). The other way around means "Fox's Despair" instead of "Fox OF Despair". Though I suppose I might be wrong on that one.

EDIT: The same goes for Tengetsugitsune instead of Kitsune no Tengetsu.

[Frozen_Feet]

Some feedback, Kayne:

a) Scrap any notion of near-infinite reiatsu, even if temporary. a Shikai is not supposed to do anything close to that.

b) Similarly, knowledge of how to cast level 99 anything for a Non-Kido Corps character is ludicrous - many of those spells are forbidden, or so demanding that learning of them wouldn't be helpful to him. No, not even with his proposed Shikai - spells above 90 have long chants. He would barely be able to complete one in 5 seconds.

99 in both combative Demon Arts is also over the top for a 3rd seat - Such knowledge would not be open to anyone expect the Kido Commander. Vice-Captains who've been noted to be experts in Kido have usually stopped at 80's.

c) This goes for others as well: if I see single level 90 or above Kido cast without a chant in any remotely effective way, I'm going to cry blood. Also, a Bankai granting near-limitless Reiatsu, however briefly, is also too broken to consider.

d) A minor complaint: your character's release feels much more like a Resurreccion than a Shikai. As a rule of a thumb, Shinigami releases don't alter physical appearance - those flaming tails are probably fine, but him turning more vulpine otherwise is a breach of flavor.

I suggest you take a look at Soshi Koan, another but abandoned character with a Kitsune theme. You might get ideas, and better picture of powerlevel, from him.

[Kayne650]

I lowered the level of the Hado and Bakudo that he can use. but I think that the main balancing factor in his Shikai and Bankai (should he ever achieve it) is that he has no practice using such high levels of reiatsu, meaning that he can't use any sort of finesse with it. Essentially, it's like giving him a giant cudgel; it's powerful, but he has little to no control over it. I think of it sort of like Soifon's bankai: extraordinarily powerful, but with very little control.

And with the use of high-level Bakudo and Hado, I meant to imply that he knew the theory of method of the Kido, but he's never practiced them, meaning that he'd only really be comfortable using mid-level Kido, though he'd be able to spam that without much loss of power, given that he could just pour reiatsu into his Bakudo and Hado, making them significantly more powerful.

Also, if for some reason he can't beat his opponent (and what fight have you ever seen in Bleach that ends in five seconds), he's completely helpless for four hours, more if he uses One Last trick. However, if this isn't enough to balance him, let me know and I'll be glad to change his Zanpakutou to something more balanced.

Thanks for the feedback!

[KnightDisciple]

Okay, time for my thoughts on each.

First, I'd remind you both that 3rd Division is the Execution Division, unless something changes. As I understand Purple's writeup, they typically stay in Soul Society and, well, execute criminals.

I finished my character. My apologies ahead of time if I'm posting him in the wrong place, but I'd like some feedback before posting him to the character registry. My general idea with him is sort of a "glass cannon": very powerful offensively, especially if he gets the first strike, but not very precise or good at defense.

Shizuka Magatsu
(Family, then given name)

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Gender: Male
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 190 pounds
Hair: Black (Bleached platinum blond)
Eyes: Pale Blue
Age (actual): 370
Age (appearance): 27
Reiatsu color: Green with dark green streaks
Division: 3rd
Rank: Vice-Captain


Appearance:

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My apologies for the rough sketch. I'll make a better one eventually.

Magatsu is tall and well-muscled but slightly gaunt, with shaggy bleached-blond hair and extremely pale blue eyes. He has a thin, stubbly beard along the edge of his jaw and a goatee. He dresses in the usual manner of shinigami, making no particular modifications to the standard black kimono or lieutenant's armband, keeping his zanpakutou in his sash.

Personality:

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Magatsu is, in short, cynical and kind of a jerk. He lives on schadenfreude and tends to be rude to just about everyone, though not to the point of stupidity. He has a very dark sense of humor, often finding something to laugh at in even the most ghastly situations, and enjoys being a devil's advocate when his advice is sought. Magatsu's temperament seems at first more suited to the 11th Division, but his love of fighting is actually more a love of hurting others channeled into an acceptable outlet that benefits Soul Society. After all, few shinigami will complain if he toys with more intelligent Hollows, fighting at partial strength and slowly increasing to inflict despair upon his opponent, as long as the Hollow ends up purified and his sport doesn't harm anyone else.

History:

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Magatsu grew up in the 72nd district of West Rukongai, and not only survived but thrived in the brutal environment. His lack of any memory of a prior lifetime indicated he must have been a Menos who was purified, also nicely explaining his rather impressive reiatsu. Eventually, he became involved in the sidelines of a clash between criminals in the district that drew shinigami attention. The shinigami that arrived sensed Magatsu's potential and brought him to the Shinigami Academy. He was no prodigy, but did very well, especially in the combat and hado training, though even at this early stage he proved utterly inept with bakudo and showed little defensive ability. When he graduated, Magatsu turned down a chance to join the 11th Division, instead opting to join the 3rd. He steadily worked his way up the ranks, proving himself time and again in combat, until he at last reached the position of Vice-Captain. He seems content in his current position, but continues to train in hopes of achieving Bankai.

Zanpakutou: Eternal Vortex

Zanpakutou release command: Annihilate, Eternal Vortex!

Zanpakutou Spirit:

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Eternal Vortex takes the form of a hulking hyena-man, approximately eight feet tall and armored in dark metal, bearing wings of jagged blades. His eyes are empty portals to a howling expanse of sickly green flame. The weapons he wields change every time he leaves the observer's sight, even for a moment.

Inner World:

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An immense metropolis built around a mesa topped by towering skyscrapers, surrounded by an endless blasted wasteland. The sky is a roiling mass of lightning-filled storm clouds, with occasional gaps in the storm revealing a glowing orange sky. The skyscrapers atop the mesa pierce the clouds to reach an unknown height. The constant lightning frequently strikes within the city, each bolt leaving behind a bladed weapon of some sort embedded in the ground; these blades slowly disperse into sparks over the course of several days. The wasteland around the city is filled with countless weapons stretching out to the horizon.

Zanpakutou Unreleased Form:

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Eternal Vortex usually appears as a relatively ordinary to, its crossguard in the shape of a stylized spiral with nine spikes protruding around the circumference and curving towards the blade. Its hilt is wrapped in worn black leather, and the blade itself doesn't quite reflect light properly.

Shikai:

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When released, Eternal Vortex shimmers and vanishes in a flash of dark green light, near-instantly reforming into eight swords, spears, and similar bladed weapons floating in the air around Magatsu. Magatsu mentally controls these weapons and can use them to attack nearby opponents as though holding them, or launch them at ranged opponents as projectiles travelling in straight lines, which return to him a short time after impact. The blades of Eternal Vortex can be used to block and parry attacks, but are noticably clumsy in doing so. The blades can all be controlled simultaneously, but have no ability to act without Magatsu's direct control.

Special power

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Whenever one of the blades of Eternal Vortex strikes a target when fired as a projectile, it releases a rippling surge of reiatsu that shreds apart matter and spirit particles within a small area, resulting in horrific wounds when striking flesh and good-sized explosions when hitting other solid objects.

Additionally, Magatsu can activate an attack known as Ripple Scream Lance. All eight of his weapons must be present around him and form an array touching their points to each other. The reiatsu surges from them begin to compound each other, building into a mass of reiatsu which lashes out in a highly destructive beam after a short charging period. Different angles of the array adjust the width of the beam, but the beam becomes less damaging the wider it is. Magatsu rarely uses this attack outside of ambushes due to how it leaves him completely defenseless until it fires and how any mistake in arranging the blade array could result in the gathered reiatsu backlashing onto him.

Bankai (not yet achieved)

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Heaven-Slaying Eternal Vortex is the true name of Magatsu's zanpakutou. When released, Eternal Vortex disappears as in its shikai state, but a narrow pillar of reiatsu erupts from the ground behind Magatsu and rapidly widens, becoming an enormous rippling field of reiatsu from which thousands of blades emerge, hovering in array. These blades can be controlled just as with shikai, but obviously in far greater numbers. The blades now explode on impact with more power than Ripple Scream Lance when used as projectiles, but more instantly form behind Magatsu and are immediately ready for use. It is easier for Magatsu to defend himself from attacks with his bankai thanks to the sheer number of blades available, but still by no means perfect. Additionally, Magatsu grows wings of jagged blades identical to his zanpakutou spirit's.

Skills:

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Shunpo: Magatsu is proficient in shunpo and able to keep up with other Vice-Captain-level Shinigami.

Hado Specialist: Magatsu is capable of using Hado up to #63 without the incantation with relative ease, and up to #80 with incantation. However, he is capable of using Bakudo of only up to #10 without incantation and up to #30 with incantation.

Master Swordsman: Magatsu is a highly skilled combatant in swordsmanship techniques, largely due to his shikai forcing him to fight with multiple weapons simultaneously.

Expert Tactician: Magatsu is very conscious of his defensive weakness and often makes use of battlefield conditions and the nature of his zanpakutou to compensate.

Enhanced Endurance: Magatsu is capable of withstanding difficult conditions for long periods of time, even combat against multiple opponents.

High Spiritual Energy: Being a Vice-Captain of the Gotei 13, Magatsu boasts high levels of reiatsu.

As far as his general skills are concerned, as well as background, etc., seems fine.

The Shikai is...hm. The floating weapons part is fine. The bit about them shredding flesh on contact is..powerful, but not out of place for a Vice-Captain. The contact explosions need some frame of reference; I find it handy to say "equivalent to a Level X Hado", since we've seen a fairly wide range of those in play. I'd recommend they have the force of, say, Level 15ish Hado. Nothing to sneeze at, but nothing tremendous for a rapidly repeatable shikai attack.
I am concerned about the blast. Not so much that it exists; the tradeoff of "chargeup time" for "big blast" isn't bad. But there's no sense of scale to it. I'd also recommend a Hado analogy here; my offhand thought is "Level 40" or so. Powerful, but again, not outrageous for Shikai.

The Bankai is more worrisome. "Thousands" of full sized weapons is a lot. I really think the scale of them should be toned down. Perhaps....hm. Shikai is 8. Canon says the increase is "5 to 10 times". Perhaps give him...40 or 50 weapons? That's still a lot, without being an insane increase. As for the explosion, you mention a power increase. Let's say Level 50 Hado? That's still, potentially, 50 level 50 Hado going off at once, which is pretty heavy duty power.

Those are just my thoughts. Less "massive changes", more "clarification", with one recommendation of "tone it down".

All right, this is my first time posting in an RP forum, so if I'm getting things wrong, please let me know. Also, my actual knowledge of Japanese is virtually nonexistent, as it all comes from anime, so if I'm getting any words wrong in my Zanpakutou names, please let me know. So, with no further ado, here's my character!

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Name: Koishima Daisuke
Gender: Male
Age (Actual/Apparent): 113/16
Height: 5’ 6”
Weight: 125 lb
Affiliation: 3rd division
Rank: 3rd seat (candidate)

Appearance: Appearing as a boy in his late teens, Daisuke has a friendly face and wide eyes, making him appear younger than he is. Shorter than most boys his age, Daisuke has worked hard to make up for what he perceives as a flaw, training his body until he can’t anymore.

Personality: Daisuke is a very eager and earnest young man, one who has a distressing habit of trusting most of the people he meets. What most people agree to be his greatest flaw would be his complete devotion to Magatsu, a man so completely opposite from Daisuke as to be laughable. Though Daisuke is usually open about himself, he has never said why. Daisuke also looks at Sakura, the captain of the 3rd division, with a sort of reverence despite the fact that her philosophy differs so radically from Magatsu's. He attempts to take after both of them, though if their philosophies conflict (a common occurrence), he always takes Magatsu's side, though he is reluctant to do so in front of Sakura.

Background:

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Daisuke grew up with parents and siblings, like most people, and he led a fairly content life. Until one day, when a hollow came running through his home district. It wasn’t a particularly large or dangerous hollow, just a single Menos. Unfortunately, for whatever reason, it hadn’t been caught by any Shinigami, and it was to the sight of the Menos devouring his family that Daisuke woke up to one morning.

Terrified, he had bolted from his bed, just in time to avoid the downswing of the Menos, who had heard him gasp. He tried to run for safety, but was stopped by the Menos, who picked him up and held him with horrifying ease. Struggling, he had just closed his eyes and accepted death when he felt himself falling to the ground. Opening his eyes again, he saw the Menos’ arm severed at the elbow. Looking around for his savior, he saw a man that he would later call lieutenant standing by the Menos, hatred blazing in his eyes. He watched in wide-eyed amazement as the man unleashed his Shikai, felling the beast before Daisuke could even blink.

The man approached Daisuke, asking if that was his family that lay on the ground around them. Daisuke had simply nodded, still not comprehending what was going on. He did notice one thing though; the hollow was not dead. Seeing the Menos rise up behind the man, Daisuke had grabbed one of the man’s many swords and cut the beast down himself, striking straight through the mask. The man had looked at Daisuke oddly then, and asked if Daisuke would like to come with him. Daisuke agreed, and the man known as Magatsu brought him back to the Seireitei, where Daisuke would begin his training as a Shinigami.

Inner World: Daisuke’s inner world appears as an ancient Shinto temple, worn away by time and taken over by plants. The entire area has an air of calm about it, a certain peace that other inner worlds lack. The most striking feature is a single, enormous Sakura tree standing directly behind the main temple

Zanpakutou Spirit: The Kitsune no Zetsubou manifests itself as a large pale yellow fox with more tails than a fox should, though the actual number varies. What Daisuke doesn’t know and Kitsune isn’t telling is that the actual number of tails represents Daisuke’s progress towards Bankai, which Daisuke will achieve when Kitsune achieves nine tails.

Powers and Abilities:

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Expert Swordsmanship Specialist: As a way to imitate Magatsu, and to make up for his short stature, Daisuke has put his heart and soul into learning the way of the sword, achieving an impressive and almost lieutenant-level of skill.

Flash Step: Daisuke is reasonably skilled at Flash Steps, though he finds that it tends to exhaust his reiatsu rather quickly. However, when in his released form, it is only method of travel.

Enhanced Strength: Daisuke has startling levels of strength, known to be capable of fending off Magatsu’s assaults, assuming he holds his weapons, and doesn’t use his long range skill.

Moderate Spiritual Energy: Daisuke has startlingly low levels of reiatsu, particularly for a third seat, though it has been hypothesized that this is because his Zanpakutou actually drains a portion of his reiatsu and stores it in itself, which is why it gives him such ridiculous levels of reiatsu in Shikai. However, if that is so, then it means that his actual levels of reiatsu would exceed captain levels, since his first time releasing his Shikai caused everyone in the Seireitei to simultaneously collapse, crushed by his spiritual pressure.

Kido Expert: Daisuke has proven himself capable of performing mid-level Hado and Bakudo without incantation, though he finds this hard to keep up due to his low levels of reiatsu. However, he has studied the theories of Hado and Bakudo of up to level 99, which enables him to perform both when in his Shikai.

Shikai: Kitsune no Zetsubou (Fox Spirit of Despair)

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Release command: “Dash forth!”
Appearance: When released, Daisuke’s blade completely vanished, hilt and all. In its stead, in a flash of blue flame, Daisuke gains a number of tails ranging from one to nine, each tail tipped by a white flame. This flame is actually just reiatsu, so it doesn’t give off any heat, though it does create light. Daisuke also gains claws like a fox on his hands, which he uses in lieu of a sword.

Special Ability: Kitsune no Zetsubou, once released, increases Daisuke’s reiatsu to almost infinite levels, allowing him to perform feats that would be impossible for Shinigami with twice his experience. Unfortunately, as long as Shikai lasts the flames quickly consume the tails, acting as a sort of timer for how long the Shikai will last, which is currently about five seconds. Once all the tails have been consumed the Shikai ends and the sword automatically re-seals itself. An unfortunate side effect is that after the Shikai ends, Daisuke fall unconscious, completely exhausted. After use of this Shikai, Daisuke usually requires about four hours of rest before he is ready to fight again.

One Last Trick: At any point while the tails remain (even just a portion of the tails), Daisuke can release his remaining reiatsu in a burst around him in a radius of pure harmful reiatsu, though he has absolutely no control over what it effects, or even the radius of the effect. This has approximately the same effect as a Cero thrown in a radius as opposed to a beam, and is extraordinarily powerful as a result. Unfortunately, the release of this much reiatsu at once puts an enormous strain on Daisuke’s body, doubling the time he is incapacitated afterwards.

Bankai (Not yet achieved): Kitsune no Tengetsu (Fox Spirit of the Heavenly Moon)

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Appearance: Kitsune no Tengetsu appears similar to the Shikai, though the burst of fire is significantly larger and brighter, ending with the fire retreating to swirl around the tips of Daisuke’s nine new tails, burning with yellow flames. Daisuke’s usual shihakusho is replaced with a blue-and-yellow coat and pants that offer much more freedom of movement. The claws on his hands grow much longer, each looking like a small dagger. His teeth also sharpen, looking more vulpine.

Special Ability: The Kitsune no Tengetsu also gives Daisuke near-limitless reiatsu, though this last much longer, as the tails take significantly more work to be consumed. While in this form, Daisuke is capable of transporting himself with shunpo across miles, utilizing 99th level Hado and Bakudo without incantations, and throwing Cero-like blasts from any of his nine tails (though this accelerates the fire’s rate of consumption). This theoretical level of power is such that the high-level captains aren’t sure if they could control Daisuke’s power, or even if he could control it. Unfortunately, it is possible that such a significant release of reiatsu from a person not used to utilizing that much at once could cause weeks of incapacitation, if not death. However, this is all theoretical, as Daisuke

Yeah, I'm going to have to go with Frozen and berry: the "infinite reiatsu" thing is just a bit much.

Really, Frozen hit all the key points.


To give perspective, Masaru, my Captain and one of the more powerful such beings, has a Bankai attack that imitates a full-chanted Hado 88. It requires a brief recharge on his swords.

So a 3rd seat being able to surpass things that much is...worrisome. We haven't even seen canon Hado 99. Canon Hado 96 is a huge explosion that

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requires the sacrifice of your own body

.

So spamming Hado 99 with no worries on energy is a bit much even for a Captain.

I'm with Frozen, in that you should really consider reworking things on this one. Some of the idea is nice, but it's just going to be a bit too much in practice.

Beyond that, I'd point something out about your background: Menos are, by default, large and dangerous. Reference. Even Gillians are threats to seated officers.
Just say it was a generic animalistic Hollow, and you'll be fine.

[Moon Wolf]

I will...have to hit on the aforementioned points yet again...it seems like Daisuke has more reiatsu than even the CC himself (so I suggest putting the abilities within the range of normal 3rd-seat reiatsu). And that 'one last trick ability'...maybe it's just me, but it sounds a...little bit like shunko. Maybe that's just me being paranoid though...