This Time Its Personal

[chaosblitz69]

Hi again i give you a new class

Warrior of the True Dark
[pathfinder]



The Warrior of the true dark is a initiate of a dark culture of the unlawful kind, warriors of the true dark are the underground special Force for the Hiruzen a underground mob family which disguises them self’s as traders, this mob family has only three leaders or as their called the true family and the warriors of the true dark are their bodyguards always taking orders from them obeying them immediately usually protection missions for the minor clan families the mob main area of control is the west sector of Kourukan.

Making a Warrior of the True Dark

Abilities: A Warrior of the True Dark is strength—Constitution—Wisdom

Races: Any race can become one

Alignment: Usually Chaotic Neutral but cannot be lawful

Starting Gold: 4d6 x 10 gp

Hit Die: d12

Class Skills: 4+Intellingence Modifier
Acrobatics(Dex), Climb(Str),Craft(Int), Intimidate(Cha), Knowledge(Int)arcana, Knowledge (Int)Planes Perception(Wis), Sense Motive(Wis), Stealth(Dex),Use magic device(Cha)


{table=head] level| bab| Fort| Ref| Will| Special| Darkness points (Dp)


1st| +1| +0| +0| +2| Ritual of the dark, Eye of darkness, Bonus feat| 0
2nd| +2| +1| +0|+3| Darkness blade(cold iron),improved initiative| 1
3rd| +3| +2| +1| +4| | 2
4th| +4| +3| +2| +5| | 4
5th| +5| +4| +3| +6| Darkness blade(Hiruzen Lock), channel dark energy| 8
6th| +6/+1|+5 |+4| +7| Darkness blade(+1 magic enhancement)| 16
7th| +7/+2| +6| +5| +8| Dark Aura, Weapon focus(darkness blade)| 32
8th| +8/+3| +7| +6| +9| Shadow Self, Darkness blade(+2 magic enhancement)| 64
9th| +9/+4| +8| +7| +10| Chaotic Swing| 128
10th| +10/+5| +8| +8| +11| Dark Energy Release| 256
11th| +11/+6/+1| +9| +7| +12| Darkness blade(brilliant energy) , Shadow dark strike| 256
12th| +12/+7/+2| +10| +8| +13| | 257
13th| +13/+8/+3| +11| +9| +14| Minor Dark energy blast, combat reflexes| 259
14th| +14/+9/+4| +12| +10| +15| Improved Weapon focus(darkness blade) Darkness blade(+3 magic enhancement)| 263
15th| +15/+10/+5 | +13| +11| +16| Medium dark blast, Form Over| 271
16th| +16/+11/+6/+1| +14| +12| +17| | 287
17th| +17/+12/+7/+2| +15| +13| +18| Dark infusion, Breaking Pressure| 319
18th| +18/+13/+8/+3| +16| +14| +19| Power of the Eye, Darkness blade(+4 magic enhancement)| 383
19th| +19/+14/+9/+4| +17| +15| +20| Major dark blast| 511
20th| +20/+15/+10/+5| +18| +16| +15| Dark Form, Will of the Eye, Darkness blade(+5 magic enhancement, and Vorpal) ,Dark Sacrifice, Scars of the dark, Bouhshui| 761[/table]

Class Features
Weapon and Armor Proficiency: Warriors of the true dark are proficient with all simple and martial weapons, light and medium armor not heavy, no shields except bucklers.

Ritual of the dark: A Warrior of the True Dark has to go through this ritual to be connected to the family this ritual infuses the power of darkness to their being allowing them to use dark points, dark points (Dp) are the power points for their future battles taping into the darkness takes up no points of dark points allowing them to use any abilities that day and dark points come back only after you level up points all points are stackable and if you hit the limit after that any unused points are gone and the maximum of how much points you can have at once is 800 or 1000 at level 20.

Eye of Darkness: A Mental Third Eye begins to open in the warriors psyche allowing them at the cost of 20 Dp After two hours of study can duplicate a move at 1/3 the power that you meet the prerequisite for any other information you will have to find on the move it self, also gives the warrior infravision of 70ft.

Bonus Feats: At 1st level a warrior takes one bonus feat as like a fighter class, also at 2nd level Improved initiative, 7th level weapon focus(darkness blade), 13th level combat reflexes,14th improved weapon focus (darkness blade).

Darkness blade: A Blade of Darkness the warriors shaping the blade takes 5+ ½ level DP to form their favorite bladed weapon at 2nd level it gains the cold iron effect, at 5th level it gains the Hiruzen Lock which allows any of the Hiruzen family to control their will( DC will check of 75 to resist) [the only reason a clan member would do this would be only if they intended to harm the family], the blade gets magic enhancements at 6th +1, 8th +2, 14th +3, 18th +4, 20th +5, at 11th level it gains the brilliant energy effect, and 20th level it becomes Vorpal.

Channel Dark Energy: at 5th level they gain the ability to use their dark points to channel healing energy throughout their body at the cost of 5 Dp per hit die of healing (roll 1d6/5 Dp)Example: Kui uses 20 Dp to heal 4d6 health as a minor action.

Dark Aura: at 7th allows them to gain Dp 1/day back for their use, also gives the displacement of 25% in darkness, and fear effect DC 10 + ½ level against non-combatants (I.e. towns people, farmers, shop keepers, etc) or be frighten for 2d6 rounds
.
Shadow Self: Starting at 8th level once a week a warrior will fight the shadow form taking his body the shadow forms its self in the warriors soul continuing to try to devour his soul DC Will 10 + WTD level (WTD = Warrior of the True Darkness)or be corrupted and kill everyone that’s close to you. For 100 Dp can lower the check to just 10 taking his level out of the problem.
Chaotic Swing: at 9th level a WTD can swing wildly through enemies giving the Great Cleave Feat Against Lawful enemies at 30 Dp per swing as a standard action.

Dark energy release: Allows you to Channel Healing Energy into non-lawful allies.

Shadow Dark Strike: at 50 Dp a WTD can draws in the surrounding shadows to your blade which gives it power 1d6 per surrounding shadows can only be used under the moonlight, under a full moon it gains 1d10 instead of 1d6, on a Harvest moon it gains bleed effect, Crescent moon gains keen ability, Gibbous it gains knock back 50ft, disseminating moon it gains 3d6 cold damage.

Dark Blast: at 13th level as a standard action a WTD can shoot a minor dark energy blast from their hands dealing 5d4 + ½ level + Wis Mod of shadow damage, at 15th level it becomes medium size and power dealing 5d8 + ½ level + Wis Mod, and at 19th level it becomes major in power and large in size dealing 5d12 + ½ level + Wis Mod.

Form Over: at 15th level at 20 Dp as a minor action it allows your darkness blade around another blade of your choosing giving the chosen weapon the abilities of your darkness blade and adding it on to your new weapon for 6hrs giving it double the damage die (I.e. 1d10 weapon damage to 2d10 or 3d4 to 6d4) critical is the same as wielded weapon and if wielded weapon has a plus it adds (I.e. +4 weapon plus the +5 from the darkness blade equals a +9 weapon).

Dark Infusion: at 17th level you learn how to control the darkness a little allowing the WTD to be able to use some of the darkness to increase their power At 100 Dp as a standard action a WTD can double their stats for 1hr draining them of their power and they pass-out cold on the floor for 10d10 rounds.

Breaking Pressure: at 17th level, If a WTD uses the Dark infusion ability more then 2/day then their own wills dips too much into the darkness and the shadow self tries to take your body again at a higher DC 20 + WTD level).
Power of the Eye: at 18th level at the cost of 20 Dp as a Minor Action a WTD can gain 4 more Dp Per Day (5 in total)

Dark Form: at 20th level at the cost of 100Dp as a minor action allows the darkness to surround yourself allowing you to pass through shadows as like shadow walk, you gain a temporary 50 Damage resistance, a 50% concealment, 2 sizes larger (shadow form), and all your abilities are doubled (not your stats), and go into a rage swinging at anything that gets in to his way for 4hr and at the end will save of 30 + WTD level or die

Will of the Eye: at 20th level learning how to completely use the third eye you gain the ability to drain enemies for Dp after you defeat them draining them of all their bad deeds which grants you 1 Dp per bad deed but takes away 5 from your base will save permanently as seen in chart above.

Dark sacrifice: at 20th level a WTD can sacrifice all his current Dp to revive a ally that the character has deemed worthy of a friend as a resurrection spell and the WTD has to make a fort save of 50 or pass out for 3d4 rounds.

Scars of the Dark: at 20th level, since the WTD has been in the darkness so much that he has learned to control it and no longer needs to fight the shadow self once a week and turns it into once a year but powers the shadow up to 40 + WTD level + Con Mod will save to defeat it and you fain the ability to go up to 1000Dp held at once.

Bouhshui: at 20th level the WTD gains the honor of protecting one of the higher clan families and the Bouhshui will help the WTD by being a conduit of Darkness so the WTD can take 50 Dp a day from the Bouhshui.


please don't forget to comment i need feed back

A Bouhshui



A Bouhshui is a companion character you get to 20th level in warrior of the true dark
{table=head] level| special| darkness points
1st|dark aura, allow dark help, my life is your life| 20
2nd| gain more darkness| 40
3rd| the sweet and innocent| 60
4th| what a lovely daughter| 80
5th| kill for your life| 100
6th| cry baby| 120
7th| jump rope of doom| 140
8th| piggy back ride of power| 160
9th| re-power| 180
10th| Dark Transformation, Lolita complex| 200 [/table]

A Bouhshui is a small noble Human girl that seems just like a regular noble girl unless you get a little closer, then it seems that little girl you saw before was just an illusion and the true nature of the creature before you, the Bouhshui are the incarnations of the dark goddess Shuieran only dividing her soul amongst these children whom her actions are not noble A small noble family came across this scheme and gathered up the women how are to bare these chosen women which are called Bouhuine the children that are born live sheltered life’s until a suitable warrior is assigned to one to protect them from the goddess herself who sends multiple minions after her incarnations.

Dark Aura- the aura that’s pours for the girl’s body which gives her the power she gets from the goddess which takes a Dc 25 perception to detect.

Allow Dark Help- allows a warrior of the true dark to absorb their daily dark power which every level of dark points is there daily dark points and as long as shes around you don't have to fight your shadow self.

My Life Is Your Life- A Bouhshui taps into the ritual in which a warrior of the true dark gets his power by sealing their bond with a kiss.

The sweet and the innocent- they look so adorable that it distracts people from the dark aura she gains +100 to the perception check to people who are specifically looking for them or + 200 Dc to people who aren’t looking for them.

What a lovely daughter- gives a +50 to disguise checks to persuade other people that you are daughter and parent.

Kill for your life- If your character ever comes close to death 3/month a Bouhshui will grab your weapon even if it’s in your hand and at a +50 to attack strikes at a vital area of the enemy to kill them.

Cry Baby- A bouhshui will cry if any enemy comes close which distracts the enemy Dc 50 Will save to resist or be stunned for 1d2 turns and powers up your character giving him triple his stats but hurts him ¼ his health each turn ignoring their wounds to protect their Bouhshui and ignore anything else and going into a rage against anyone near the girl and pass out before her feet at the end for 1d6 rounds.

Jump rope of doom- the Bouhshui can now defend herself a little bit they gain a +10 brilliant energy, vorpal jump rope of speed which does 2d4 17-20 x2.

Piggyback ride of power- a Bouhshui will climb up to your back and force you to give her a piggyback ride and when you are you can only use one hand and you gain a +20 to strength and the ability to ignore hardness and overcome damage resistance Dc 20 balance check while traveling and Dc 35 balance check in battle.

Re-power- if a warrior of the true dark ever reach’s 0 Dp the Bouhshui 1/month can completely restore their Dp to Max.

Dark Transformation- the Bouhshui gains the ability to transform into a hybrid form of the goddess 1/year a Bouhshui gains the power of her mother the power of a god and she jumps on your back like the piggyback of power but you can use your other hand since she is holding on tight the dark energy flows into you and powers 4 times stronger for 2d8 rounds but as long as you stay in that mode the faster the goddess can find you she gains a 5000 mile radius of your whereabouts each time it’s used she narrows down by 1000 more miles more (I.e. uses 2 times she knows where you are within 4000 miles) and sends twice the amount of minions at that 5000 miles.

Lolita Complex- your character gains a Lolita complex. (hehehehe)

[DrWeird]

Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it,
any way you want it.

[Xefas]

Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it,
any way you want it.

I was alone? I never knew what good love could do?

On topic, a lot of these abilities are kinda weirdly worded. In fact, the whole class has weirdly worded or presented things. The class skills line is missing a lot of commas and the (Int) tags are placed in the middle of the Knowledge skills.

The Base Attack Bonus section is screwed up past level 16. The saving throw entries at pretty much every level are really messed up.

Darkness Points are kind of weirdly distributed. They double each level up until 10th, but then don't increase at all up to 11th. And then they just kind of...start over adding 2 and then doubling the amount added each level? I think I'd like a little something not as awkward.

Main question, though. I see that picture around a lot. Where is that dude from?

[Glimbur]

So, it costs 5 darkness points a day to use your class features. You only get darkness points by leveling up. You can afford one day of actually using class features by level 4. Even a level 20 character can only go for 200 days without leveling, and you don't have an epic progression. In addition, most of your class features cost extra Dark Points. In direct contradiction to your earlier text, at level 7 you regain a Dark Point a day. At very high levels you can gain more points through other class features. What is the purpose of this mechanic? Would it make more sense to make this a per day or per encounter mechanic instead of a per level ability?

The base saves are just plain weird. They are too small at level one and grow too quickly. Good saves are 2+ level/2, bad saves are level/3. Abilities are balanced around this, changing the mechanic for one class makes it not fit the rest of the system as well.

Other class features also need a look, but I can be more helpful once we revise Darkness Points.

[chaosblitz69]

So, it costs 5 darkness points a day to use your class features. You only get darkness points by leveling up. You can afford one day of actually using class features by level 4. Even a level 20 character can only go for 200 days without leveling, and you don't have an epic progression. In addition, most of your class features cost extra Dark Points. In direct contradiction to your earlier text, at level 7 you regain a Dark Point a day. At very high levels you can gain more points through other class features. What is the purpose of this mechanic? Would it make more sense to make this a per day or per encounter mechanic instead of a per level ability?

The base saves are just plain weird. They are too small at level one and grow too quickly. Good saves are 2+ level/2, bad saves are level/3. Abilities are balanced around this, changing the mechanic for one class makes it not fit the rest of the system as well.

Other class features also need a look, but I can be more helpful once we revise Darkness Points.

look here the bab is not messed up its the saves are a combination of complexed mathematics so there ok the dark points are fine im not complete with the class im gonna add in a bouhshui companion so it will be better im tired of all the regular characters its dnd not a video game where you have to the quest to progress dnd is all about imagination and thats what im trying to bring to this character and for the darkness points gaining one is once a day i thought that was clear and i will make a epic after i am done with the bouhshui but thank you anyway but i will take in consideration that i need to make it more clear on how to gain points and i will elaborate on it the saves are fine every thing will be clear when i make the other two.

thank you:

[chaosblitz69]

Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it,
any way you want it.

She loves to laugh
She loves to sing
She does everything

She loves to move
She loves to groove
She loves the lovin' things

[chaosblitz69]

I was alone? I never knew what good love could do?

On topic, a lot of these abilities are kinda weirdly worded. In fact, the whole class has weirdly worded or presented things. The class skills line is missing a lot of commas and the (Int) tags are placed in the middle of the Knowledge skills.

The Base Attack Bonus section is screwed up past level 16. The saving throw entries at pretty much every level are really messed up.

Darkness Points are kind of weirdly distributed. They double each level up until 10th, but then don't increase at all up to 11th. And then they just kind of...start over adding 2 and then doubling the amount added each level? I think I'd like a little something not as awkward.

Main question, though. I see that picture around a lot. Where is that dude from?

yes it was double until its was level 10 whe i got to level 11 it seemed to cheap to progress like that and so i just add the double scores over as in 256 +0 then 256+1 then 257 + 2 = 259 and so on get it now the math is all there you just have to look and everything makes sense

[Temotei]

look here the bab is not messed up its the saves are a combination of complexed mathematics so there ok the dark points are fine im not complete with the class im gonna add in a bouhshui companion so it will be better im tired of all the regular characters its dnd not a video game where you have to the quest to progress dnd is all about imagination and thats what im trying to bring to this character and for the darkness points gaining one is once a day i thought that was clear and i will make a epic after i am done with the bouhshui but thank you anyway but i will take in consideration that i need to make it more clear on how to gain points and i will elaborate on it the saves are fine every thing will be clear when i make the other two.

thank you:

She loves to laugh
She loves to sing
She does everything

She loves to move
She loves to groove
She loves the lovin' things

yes it was double until its was level 10 whe i got to level 11 it seemed to cheap to progress like that and so i just add the double scores over as in 256 +0 then 256+1 then 257 + 2 = 259 and so on get it now the math is all there you just have to look and everything makes sense

Forum rules.

Imagination should come in the form of class features, not messing with save bonuses and base attack bonuses. Anyone who looks at this class will say that.

The Hit Die entry should say "d12." 1d12 means you only get one Hit Die, and that just won't do.

This is for Pathfinder, right? You should tag the thread like so: [3.5/PF] or [Pathfinder].

[chaosblitz69]

Forum rules.

Imagination should come in the form of class features, not messing with save bonuses and base attack bonuses. Anyone who looks at this class will say that.

The Hit Die entry should say "d12." 1d12 means you only get one Hit Die, and that just won't do.

This is for Pathfinder, right? You should tag the thread like so: [3.5/PF] or [Pathfinder].

you have a point on the d12 and pathfinder thing but i think imagination can be applied any where even in saves and nothings wrong with the bab if its so wrong then whats wrong with it.

[Temotei]

you have a point on the d12 and pathfinder thing but i think imagination can be applied any where even in saves and nothings wrong with the bab if its so wrong then whats wrong with it.

Whoops. Nothing's off with the BAB. My eyes have gone crazy. Again.

Just saying about the saving throws...they're really, really weird.

Also, the class can't use ritual of the dark, eye of darkness, or darkness blade until 5th level. You might want to fix that.

EDIT: I think the image is from Bleach, though I'm probably wrong, since I've never watched the show.

[Milskidasith]

The saves are weird on this, for sure, but what gets me are the class features. You apparently only regain them when you level up (I think, it's really hard to parse given the current presentation), which is... flat out awful design. No class does anything remotely like that; even badly designed things just take absurd amounts of time to recover (wizards familiar), not become impossible to recover. It's also impossible to even use your class features at first level, and the DP scaling makes no sense to me (it looks like you scaled it up, then started increasing it at the same rate again for no apparent reason instead of giving it a smooth power curve).

Overall, this probably needs a total rewrite; I didn't go through the entire thing, but the saves certainly need to be redone, and it needs to scale in a way that it isn't A: incapable of acting more than a few times per level and B: actually capable of using its class features the level it acquires them.

[Aran Banks]

Alright, not to be a broken record, but the saves DO need work...

And not because they're different. Seriously, go ahead and have fun with that. The problem is that they don't make sense. For example, the first save starts off as 1:1 to your level, and then changes to what seems like 2:3, and then becomes 1:2... That doesn't make any sense. You shouldn't use "complex mathematics" because it creates a system that's inherently unbalanced.

Also, +18 to a save is totally and utterly broken. That's "I auto-win my Fort saves all the time" broken... which is dumb. I mean, I'm all for honkin'-big bonuses, but this is a class that's ALSO going to stack Con and EVERY class runs around with +X to saves items, so the save is going to be utterly OBNOXIOUS.

[chaosblitz69]

alright i'll see what i can do

no its not from bleach

and i changed it check it out

p.s. what kind of fort saves do you do by level 20 im having to roll like 60 to 80 fort saves

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

p.s. what kind of fort saves do you do by level 20 im having to roll like 60 to 80 fort saves

...Why? Standard save format is 10 + 1/2 Hit Dice + modifier. Against an opponent with 40 Hit Dice and a +10 modifier (which is reasonable for a monster at level 20), you're looking at a DC 40 saving throw. That's probably higher than the norm, which I imagine is between 32 and 36, easily reachable with a +12 base save (the norm for a strong save). 60 to 80 is just way out of line.

That said, this class does need a complete redesign. Your system for using powers just doesn't work, and most of your abilities aren't actually fully defined. I have no idea what Eye of Darkness does, for example.

Eye of Darkness: A Mental Third Eye begins to open in the warriors psyche allowing them at the cost of 20 Dp After two hours of study can duplicate a move at 1/3 the power, also gives the warrior infravision of 70ft.

Infravision? Duplicate a "move" at 1/3 the power? What are these things, and how do they work?

Other abilities are either nonsensical or require a serious redesign. Why, for example, does Hirozen Lock have a DC 75 save at such a low level? What, in fact, does it do?

And that ability that might kill everyone close to you? Trash it. Nobody wants that in a party.

[chaosblitz69]

...Why? Standard save format is 10 + 1/2 Hit Dice + modifier. Against an opponent with 40 Hit Dice and a +10 modifier (which is reasonable for a monster at level 20), you're looking at a DC 40 saving throw. That's probably higher than the norm, which I imagine is between 32 and 36, easily reachable with a +12 base save (the norm for a strong save). 60 to 80 is just way out of line.

That said, this class does need a complete redesign. Your system for using powers just doesn't work, and most of your abilities aren't actually fully defined. I have no idea what Eye of Darkness does, for example.



Infravision? Duplicate a "move" at 1/3 the power? What are these things, and how do they work?

Other abilities are either nonsensical or require a serious redesign. Why, for example, does Hirozen Lock have a DC 75 save at such a low level? What, in fact, does it do?

And that ability that might kill everyone close to you? Trash it. Nobody wants that in a party.

first look here by level 20 you usually gain some sort of buff to saves and that comes into play with any dm and with a semi large party with all level 20's there would be three encounters either a ton of small enemies, a small group about the same power or the huge monster the beats the stuffing out of you and thats what this character is used for the big monsters not much on multiple enemies and that Dc is for people who wants to betray the clans i guess i will elaborate on that, you don't know what infravision is? it allows you to see body heat any person who plays dnd should know that and what do you not get about the duplicate move at 1/3 the power what you see is what you get use your head its simple and once again the character will seem so much better when i add the Bouhshui and if you fail the save the other characters don't just die you can try to snap him out of it or you can kill him before he kills you its up to the individual dm.

[Volthawk]

Infravision was dropped in 3e. It's just plain Darkvision now.

[chaosblitz69]

Infravision was dropped in 3e. It's just plain Darkvision now.

Ya but you can still use it dnd has no rules so i added infravison in there because i like it


P.S. MY BOUHSHUI IS COMPLETE

[Volthawk]

Ya but you can still use it dnd has no rules so i added infravison in there because i like it


P.S. MY BOUHSHUI IS COMPLETE

Maybe you should clarify what is mechanically does, then.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

first look here by level 20 you usually gain some sort of buff to saves and that comes into play with any dm and with a semi large party with all level 20's there would be three encounters either a ton of small enemies, a small group about the same power or the huge monster the beats the stuffing out of you and thats what this character is used for the big monsters not much on multiple enemies

The 33-36 DC is the DC of the big monsters. DC 60-80 is purely Epic level stuff...and decently high Epic at that. There's a CR 36 monster, for example, who just breaks the 60 mark on a save DC. Hell, the highest CR monster in the Epic Level Handbook only goes up to a save of 76, and that's at CR 66.

and what do you not get about the duplicate move at 1/3 the power what you see is what you get use your head its simple

I am using both my head and my knowledge of the rules, and it's still far from simple. What counts as a "move?" What's 1/3 the power of forcecage, or 1/3 the power of Great Cleave or a Petrifying Gaze? How do I use it once I've learned it? How many can I learn?

[chaosblitz69]

The 33-36 DC is the DC of the big monsters. DC 60-80 is purely Epic level stuff...and decently high Epic at that. There's a CR 36 monster, for example, who just breaks the 60 mark on a save DC. Hell, the highest CR monster in the Epic Level Handbook only goes up to a save of 76, and that's at CR 66.



I am using both my head and my knowledge of the rules, and it's still far from simple. What counts as a "move?" What's 1/3 the power of forcecage, or 1/3 the power of Great Cleave or a Petrifying Gaze? How do I use it once I've learned it? How many can I learn?

apparently you run some pretty low level people you understand how to work a character one of my low level players can beat an epic i think your a bit out of your lead and the 1/3 is easy to understand how hard is it to understand that when you use a move that you learn from this its power is cut to 1/3 which means you divide your damage by 3 and its hard to learn with this move because you have to watch someone for 2hr so you can learn a infinite amount that is easy to understand everyone i know got that right off no thinking needed.

[Volthawk]

Also, good punctuation would be nice.

[chaosblitz69]

{Scrubbed}

[Tetrasodium]

I agree with just about every "uhh... ????" already posted about this class and have one more to add. Why is this class nonlawful/chaotic?

The Warrior of the true dark is a initiate of a dark culture of the unlawful kind, warriors of the true dark are the underground special Force for the Hiruzen a underground mob family which disguises them self’s as traders, this mob family has only three leaders or as their called the true family and the warriors of the true dark are their bodyguards always taking orders from them obeying them immediately usually protection missions for the minor clan families the mob main area of control is the west sector of Kourukan.

Even the abilities reinforce the lawful aspect of the class.

As for the OP's whole "ya'll must play low level characters and just don't see the greatness of the ultra high level group this is made for" type strawman... that would hold a lot more weight if this was actually an epic PrC using epic advancement tables. Level 21-X doesn't scale the same as 1-20 on a lot of stuff.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

apparently you run some pretty low level people you understand how to work a character one of my low level players can beat an epic i think your a bit out of your lead

Not to toot my own horn, but you do realize that I'm quite a good homebrewer, right? I know what I'm talking about when it comes to concept, and, specifically, mechanics and balance. It's hard to put me out of my league. Regardless, the numbers I've pulled are straight from official WotC material, and if you're balancing this against a completely non-standard campaign power level it would have helped to tell us that at the start, as I'd have looked at that in a completely different way. If DC 60 is your norm, you aren't using any standard rules, and we need to know more about your campaign. I'm assuming that, since it's a D&D class, D&D standards are in effect.

and the 1/3 is easy to understand how hard is it to understand that when you use a move that you learn from this its power is cut to 1/3 which means you divide your damage by 3 and its hard to learn with this move because you have to watch someone for 2hr so you can learn a infinite amount that is easy to understand everyone i know got that right off no thinking needed.

So you can use them whenever, at-will? What counts as a move? ANYTHING? That's incredibly overpowered. What about moves that don't deal damage, or deal damage that you can't reduce? For example: how do forcecage, earthquake, and Iron Heart Surge function at 1/3 power? What about moves limited to X uses per day? What about moves requiring a body part or ability you don't possess? Can it be any move? Do you have to see it first (studying for 2 hours doesn't mean you do...OBSERVING for 2 hours does)? Do you have to be very familiar with it? What about 1-shot moves like spells that you can't observe for 2 hours?

And so on. Regardless, making this infinite with no cost to USE the move is very overpowered.

I can provide a full critique if you'd like, but I'll need to know more about your campaign first, as it's obviously not standard D&D.

[The Glyphstone]

Sorry but i don't care for punctuation

You may want to take another look at Da Rules, specifically this part:

Typing Incoherently/Foreign Languages
...
A forum is a written medium and people have to read what you write. Chat speak, l33t speak, encrypted/enciphered text, and anything that has to be "translated" falls into this area.
...

A complete lack of capitalization and punctuation makes your posts incredibly difficult to read and understand, so if you want actual commentary and advice on your homebrew, it'd be a good idea to use it.

[chaosblitz69]

Not to toot my own horn, but you do realize that I'm quite a good homebrewer, right? I know what I'm talking about when it comes to concept, and, specifically, mechanics and balance. It's hard to put me out of my league. Regardless, the numbers I've pulled are straight from official WotC material, and if you're balancing this against a completely non-standard campaign power level it would have helped to tell us that at the start, as I'd have looked at that in a completely different way. If DC 60 is your norm, you aren't using any standard rules, and we need to know more about your campaign. I'm assuming that, since it's a D&D class, D&D standards are in effect.



So you can use them whenever, at-will? What counts as a move? ANYTHING? That's incredibly overpowered. What about moves that don't deal damage, or deal damage that you can't reduce? For example: how do forcecage, earthquake, and Iron Heart Surge function at 1/3 power? What about moves limited to X uses per day? What about moves requiring a body part or ability you don't possess? Can it be any move? Do you have to see it first (studying for 2 hours doesn't mean you do...OBSERVING for 2 hours does)? Do you have to be very familiar with it? What about 1-shot moves like spells that you can't observe for 2 hours?

And so on. Regardless, making this infinite with no cost to USE the move is very overpowered.

I can provide a full critique if you'd like, but I'll need to know more about your campaign first, as it's obviously not standard D&D.

Alright i guess you just don't get it first of all dnd has no rules its all about the imagination and standards shouldn't apply and the only thing you have to do is get the DM to agree to put it in even if you have to put it inside you own quest this character is just another guild line of other players and i don't care if you do or do not like it and i guess i have to put something in there for other people to understand how it works and check it out when you can im not trying to be mean but you gotta keep your mind open

[Milskidasith]

Sidenote:

Lolita Complex- your character gains a Lolita complex. (hehehehe)

The hell? Of all the things in this class, this is... what?

Ignoring the complete creepiness of that, fluff things such as that shouldn't be class features anyway; if it doesn't give something mechanical, don't put it in the crunch section.

And yeah, this needs a complete redesign, because I am, after a readthrough, still at a complete loss for how any of it works. It also needs some serious editing so the abilities that do make sense (sort of) are worded and punctuated in a way that makes it easy to read and understand.

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

Alright i guess you just don't get it first of all dnd has no rules its all about the imagination and standards shouldn't apply...

Untrue, actually. Rule 0 isn't there to say "to hell with the rules." It's there to say "here's something the rules don't cover...let's make it work." There's a reason things like class balance are discussed: the game itself is a bunch of rules. If you're not following them, you're not playing D&D. That's why we purchase rulebooks and create homebrew...both of them use a system of rules we've come to know and accept. You make a bunch of mechanics tied to a level because mechanics and level are important to the rules of the game. If you don't want to play that way, then there are a variety of other RPG systems (The Window or Wushu might be good ones) that might fit your needs better. If you're homebrewing for D&D, however, the basic rules and mechanics that comprise the d20 system should be observed. There's a lot of leeway in the system, but not as much as you seem to think...at least, if you want a creation that can function well in a party comprised of the other base classes.

and the only thing you have to do is get the DM to agree to put it in...

It's also your responsibility as a homebrewer to make sure the DM and the other players know what you can do, and to make sure that you will not overshadow the other players by an imbalanced class or a poor mechanic.

...but you gotta keep your mind open

My mind is quite open to new ideas where new ideas are merited. Gutting the system for the simple sake of gutting the system is not something that my mind should be open to, as the game as a game (not as a story) doesn't have that much room to fracture the rules. The core d20 system works well enough, and you have a lot of freedom to make a class while still following the rules that will make the class both effective and balanced. If you'd like to learn how to make an effective and balanced class, I'm willing to help. If you're not, then there's not much we can actually do to help, and you're not actually looking for critique.

[chaosblitz69]

{Scrubbed}

[Djinn_in_Tonic]

{Scrubbed}

I'm not being a spoilsport. I'm simply doing what this forum is for: critiquing and offering suggestions to improve your homebrew. If you don't listen, then fine. That will not, however, stop me from offering what are, honestly, reasonable and useful suggestions to make your class more understandable, mechanically sound, and balanced in the overall game. Currently your class is fragmented, often indecipherable, and very ambiguous. I don't honestly know what a member of this class can do at the game table and, as a player or DM, that would worry me. It's an argument waiting to happen. Neither I nor any DM I know would allow this as it stands, and I'm trying to help you fix that problem.

And yes, some rules are made to be broken. Not all rules are, however. D&D is full of rules that are, and rules that aren't...the trick is learning which is which.