[BitP:R] BleachitP: Reborn: OOC Thread 13

[Viera Champion]

[Venti Buon, morning]

"Oh, so you have three older brothers?", Yui asks from Shiro, before Henry catches her attention. "Hmmm? Oh? Where?", she asks, whirling around in her seat to see who he means. "Oh. Yes, yes she is", she chimes, and waves cheerfully to Silva as a greeting.

Three brothers? Where did that question come from?

[Draken]

Three brothers? Where did that question come from?

http://www.behindthename.com/name/shirou

Shiro: Variant spelling of Shirou. Shirou means "Fourth Son" according to this website.

[Prime32]

http://www.behindthename.com/name/shirou

Shiro: Variant spelling of Shirou. Shirou means "Fourth Son" according to this website.

Could also be "white". Or "dead son".

[Draken]

Yeah, and I am sure there are many parents who would call their son "Dead son".

[Viera Champion]

Oh I see. But I was actually using the "white" definition. It was both meant to come from my current username, and the reason his parents named him that was sort of an ironic joke because his hair is jet black.

[Prime32]

Yeah, and I am sure there are many parents who would call their son "Dead son".

Objection!

[Dorizzit]

Wasn't that a nickname?

[Prime32]

Wasn't that a nickname?

http://linear.mv.com/cgi-bin/j-e/dos...FG=r&BG=b&S=26

[Frozen_Feet]

http://www.behindthename.com/name/shirou

Shiro: Variant spelling of Shirou. Shirou means "Fourth Son" according to this website.

Could also be "white". Or "dead son".

Yeah, and I am sure there are many parents who would call their son "Dead son".

Considering how much superstition surrounds number 4, I'm a bit surprised they don't just skip over it and move straight to Gorou.

Shirou's parents must've not gotten the memo - I mean, look at how it ended for the poor boy!

[Kuroimaken]

Considering how much superstition surrounds number 4, I'm a bit surprised they don't just skip over it and move straight to Gorou.

Shirou's parents must've not gotten the memo - I mean, look at how it ended for the poor boy!

Bit of a tasteless joke, anyone asks me.

Not as if they could have named him Yorou.

[Kuroimaken]

So I had this idea for a miniplot involving Kazuma and the secrets of Soul Society. It revolves around looking for the secrets of a noble house that was supposedly lost during the Seireitei Civil War.

The lost house of Touki

Spoiler

Show

History: Of the many noble houses in Seireitei, not including the great four, the Touki was supposedly one of the least known. They were reserved, often taciturn but with great, imposing presences despite their relative lack of status. Publically, no one really knew what the role of the Touki was in Soul Society. It IS known that the other houses treated them with respect and that for some reason their word carried a good deal of weight.

In truth, the Touki were what could be reasonably called the ancestors of the Onmitsukidou as well as the 11th division. A covert squad of powerful assassins acting in the shadows, their main duties involved espionage, black ops, and the removal of dangerous elements - their existence predates the creation of the Maggot's Nest. Their main specialties were Hakuda and Shunpo.

When the Seireitei Civil War broke out, the Touki were sought after by many of the other houses in search of support. Unable or unwilling to join in the event, the Touki withdrew from public view. As a result, they were pursued by the many noble houses at war. None of them have been seen since. Though it is assumed they all died, no one knows for certain - except perhaps the Central 46.

[Frozen_Feet]

Sounds interesting.

BTW, is anyone going to post in Hueco Mundo, or should I just come up with continuation to Lalita's ploy and edit it in? -_o

[Kuroimaken]

Sounds interesting.

BTW, is anyone going to post in Hueco Mundo, or should I just come up with continuation to Lalita's ploy and edit it in? -_o

Glad you feel that way. Also, waiting for indignant response in the SS thread.

[HirokatsuGoto]

I would if i could get permission to go there...but i have no idea of what woudl happen or what might be going on.. or what to do really other than do recon.. unless someone has an idea

Sounds interesting.

BTW, is anyone going to post in Hueco Mundo, or should I just come up with continuation to Lalita's ploy and edit it in? -_o

[HirokatsuGoto]

Ok,

So i want to get Hirokatsu's Bankai worked out: Here is what i have so far:

I am going to just start this and feel free to throw out ideas or critiques, and we can go from there

The original Bankai idea was very elaborate and lots of time altering things going on. I decided to start over with just a few of the key ideas i liked and built it up from there.

I feel like i have added in some good drawbacks and limitations, and i think it would be fun to play. The drawbacks may not seem that big a deal, but for a character who knows them i think they would be bigger than they may appear at first glance

Look at my signature link for my full bio without Bankai, so you can see who ti fits.

But basically, my Bankai is based on "time" and the concept of "family and ancestral power" (thus the two ghostly visages i will explain for each of the unique abilities)

Hirokatsu's Bankai (in spoiler below)

Spoiler

Show

How Hirokatsu will physically look:
-After saying "Bankai" in flash of black energy pouring down from above. His Shikai form will disappear revealing Hirokatsu standing holding a large arm bone vertical like a staff which is much taller than himself in length. He will also be wearing no shirt at all and only the pants of the Shinigami uniform (possibly tighter leggings..i havent decided)

-Hirokatsu will look like he did when he was roughly 18-22 years old looking, with a very clean shaven face (maybe a really short mustache/goatee) and short hair.

-Along with his youthful appearance, his hands and feet will be dark black up to the ankle or wrist where it will fade to a normal skin tone

-His skin will also look very bone like

Basic powers of the Bankai:
-heightened speed, strength, blah blah blah like everyone

-his bony skin will act like a "hierro" or something similar

-the longer he is in Bankai the more of his body will grow blackened, once it engulfs his whole body he will revert back to Shikai. (looking as he did when he went into Bankai)

-the parts of his body which are blackened are not protected with that "hierro" type bony armor.

-As he gets better with the Bankai the blackening will take longer as well as the beginning points will be less (from hands...to fingers...to finger tips)

-I think of this whole time limit thing like Toshiro's diamond indicators on his Bankai form, or Ikkaku's Dragon thing kind of

How the Zanpaktuo will look:
-the weapon will be a large (maybe 12ft tall), arm bone, which is pretty much dull, though it has rough edges so a jagged rough cut could happen if struck right. It has the ball joint on one end and a bone end on the other. On one end is a long two stranded piece of black ribbon or material

----armbone

-a ghostly apparition of a large middle aged man (the armbone is his arm bone for size) would surround him

-he will fight with it mostly using the okinawa kobudo "Eiku" or (oar) style of fighting, which is basically a form of staff fighting. But he would also use it as a big two-handed sword as well
------EIKU 1
------EIKU 2
------EIKU 3

What the Zanpaktuo will do:
-Ability one: When the bone strikes an opponent, it will break or shatter the nearest underlying bone of wherever it hits. (strong hierro is treated like an extra layer of bone, in which case it would shatter the hierro area covering the underlying bone) (there were earlier concerns that this needed work, because what would happen if he struck a cheekbone or vertebrae, my answer to that is, if any other Bankai weapon struck a cheekbone or vertebrae i am guessing it would be just as bad or worse)

-Ability two: When holding the bone upright next to him (maybe grasping it with both arms like holding onto a merry go round post or something), he would be enveloped in the ghostly form of a woman embracing him (the arm being the arm of a beautiful woman for size).

--When in her embrace he could not attack or use the first ability in any way, he would not be able to move much but could talk.

--He would be practically invulnerable in this form

--while in her embrace he would heal very rapidly (any kind of physical injury, not psychological injury though, unless it was caused by physical trauma)

--However the longer he was in the embrace, he would physically age very fast...so he cant stay in for very long.

--i was thinking to heal a severed arm would take 5-10 minutes but would age him physically 50-100 years once he leaves Bankai form. It would also age him in the Bankai form, which would be seen by the growing of his hair and wrinkling etc.

--i am just spitballing with time here but maybe 1 minute= 10 years of aging not enough? too much? i need help with this part

--i would probably have to come up with a max "age" for Hirokatsu before his time is up in Soul Society (but given that people can live thousands of years, this should give Hirokatsu a few bad injuries he wanted to heal in Bankai form)

--i dont want the cost to be so big that he cant have used it, but more that WHEN he uses it, it is a big deal


So basically:

-looks younger with blackening as a time limit for the Bankai
-"hierro" type skin which lessens the longer he is in Bankai form
-big arm bone weapon which:
-----shatters bones
-----he can grab onto and use as pure defense and healing but a very heavy "out of Bankai" cost

-the zanpaktuo is "family" or "ancestral" based and uses "time" in slightly different ways push this idea
----the embrace is my ancestral mother figure protecting me
----the bone attack is the ancestral father figure helping destroy my foes
----the hierro skin is like all the rest of his family providing some protection as well as showing me the limits and length of his power

[tgva8889]

Alright, I'm back. Where am I needed?

[Wahrheit]

Okay, back from visiting my dad. Unfortunately, the internet connection there was... spotty, at best. That's what we get for supplying fresh hot Internet to three computers via a 3G card. I'll be catching up on the threads and posting later tonight.

[Frozen_Feet]

Alright, I'm back. Where am I needed?

Naraku seems to have halted, so Taiki's appearance on 4th is likely at your leisure.

Officer Karashi is about to get interrogated - he's in an abandoned building with Kujo right now.

I guess Callos still wants to do scene with Kina and Michiko to start the Kidnappings plot.

[tgva8889]

Callos, let me know when I have to post for Kina.

Taiki may just be held off for a little while. Everyone in 4th, let me know when you'd like Taiki to show up.

I'll post for Karashi in about an hour. If he survives he might get promoted from NPC, who knows.

Edit: Let's see...I also need to:

• Write Taiki's Backstory
• Write Mio's Backstory
• Write Bios for my NPCs
• Send the Execution Squad to help Goro
• Make a write-up for Maggot's Nest

[Sucrose]

Ok,

So i want to get Hirokatsu's Bankai worked out: Here is what i have so far:

I am going to just start this and feel free to throw out ideas or critiques, and we can go from there

The original Bankai idea was very elaborate and lots of time altering things going on. I decided to start over with just a few of the key ideas i liked and built it up from there.

I feel like i have added in some good drawbacks and limitations, and i think it would be fun to play. The drawbacks may not seem that big a deal, but for a character who knows them i think they would be bigger than they may appear at first glance

Look at my signature link for my full bio without Bankai, so you can see who ti fits.

But basically, my Bankai is based on "time" and the concept of "family and ancestral power" (thus the two ghostly visages i will explain for each of the unique abilities)

Hirokatsu's Bankai (in spoiler below)

Spoiler

Show

How Hirokatsu will physically look:
-After saying "Bankai" in flash of black energy pouring down from above. His Shikai form will disappear revealing Hirokatsu standing holding a large arm bone vertical like a staff which is much taller than himself in length. He will also be wearing no shirt at all and only the pants of the Shinigami uniform (possibly tighter leggings..i havent decided)

-Hirokatsu will look like he did when he was roughly 18-22 years old looking, with a very clean shaven face (maybe a really short mustache/goatee) and short hair.

-Along with his youthful appearance, his hands and feet will be dark black up to the ankle or wrist where it will fade to a normal skin tone

-His skin will also look very bone like

Basic powers of the Bankai:
-heightened speed, strength, blah blah blah like everyone

-his bony skin will act like a "hierro" or something similar

-the longer he is in Bankai the more of his body will grow blackened, once it engulfs his whole body he will revert back to Shikai. (looking as he did when he went into Bankai)

-the parts of his body which are blackened are not protected with that "hierro" type bony armor.

-As he gets better with the Bankai the blackening will take longer as well as the beginning points will be less (from hands...to fingers...to finger tips)

-I think of this whole time limit thing like Toshiro's diamond indicators on his Bankai form, or Ikkaku's Dragon thing kind of

How the Zanpaktuo will look:
-the weapon will be a large (maybe 12ft tall), arm bone, which is pretty much dull, though it has rough edges so a jagged rough cut could happen if struck right. It has the ball joint on one end and a bone end on the other. On one end is a long two stranded piece of black ribbon or material

----armbone

-a ghostly apparition of a large middle aged man (the armbone is his arm bone for size) would surround him

-he will fight with it mostly using the okinawa kobudo "Eiku" or (oar) style of fighting, which is basically a form of staff fighting. But he would also use it as a big two-handed sword as well
------EIKU 1
------EIKU 2
------EIKU 3

What the Zanpaktuo will do:
-Ability one: When the bone strikes an opponent, it will break or shatter the nearest underlying bone of wherever it hits. (strong hierro is treated like an extra layer of bone, in which case it would shatter the hierro area covering the underlying bone) (there were earlier concerns that this needed work, because what would happen if he struck a cheekbone or vertebrae, my answer to that is, if any other Bankai weapon struck a cheekbone or vertebrae i am guessing it would be just as bad or worse)

-Ability two: When holding the bone upright next to him (maybe grasping it with both arms like holding onto a merry go round post or something), he would be enveloped in the ghostly form of a woman embracing him (the arm being the arm of a beautiful woman for size).

--When in her embrace he could not attack or use the first ability in any way, he would not be able to move much but could talk.

--He would be practically invulnerable in this form

--while in her embrace he would heal very rapidly (any kind of physical injury, not psychological injury though, unless it was caused by physical trauma)

--However the longer he was in the embrace, he would physically age very fast...so he cant stay in for very long.

--i was thinking to heal a severed arm would take 5-10 minutes but would age him physically 50-100 years once he leaves Bankai form. It would also age him in the Bankai form, which would be seen by the growing of his hair and wrinkling etc.

--i am just spitballing with time here but maybe 1 minute= 10 years of aging not enough? too much? i need help with this part

--i would probably have to come up with a max "age" for Hirokatsu before his time is up in Soul Society (but given that people can live thousands of years, this should give Hirokatsu a few bad injuries he wanted to heal in Bankai form)

--i dont want the cost to be so big that he cant have used it, but more that WHEN he uses it, it is a big deal


So basically:

-looks younger with blackening as a time limit for the Bankai
-"hierro" type skin which lessens the longer he is in Bankai form
-big arm bone weapon which:
-----shatters bones
-----he can grab onto and use as pure defense and healing but a very heavy "out of Bankai" cost

-the zanpaktuo is "family" or "ancestral" based and uses "time" in slightly different ways push this idea
----the embrace is my ancestral mother figure protecting me
----the bone attack is the ancestral father figure helping destroy my foes
----the hierro skin is like all the rest of his family providing some protection as well as showing me the limits and length of his power

With respect, HirokatsuGoto, I believe this zanpaktou to be somewhat overpowered.

First, you need to explain whether the aging is shinigami aging (aka: very slowed) or analogous to normal human aging.

Second, I do not believe a concern which is unlikely to come up as a deciding factor in the fight itself to be an adequate drawback to a total sanctuary effect. As such, unless it ages him sufficiently quickly that he would die within a minute or so of use of his mother figure's protection, I do not think it is possible to balance the effect in this way.

Third, the absolutism in his father figure's ability to break bones is...problematic. The way it reads at the moment, he wouldn't need particularly heavy blows to shatter others' defenses, meaning that his fighting style would possess all of the benefits of a slower, more power-focused style, with none of the drawbacks, since the Vice Captain emphasizes precision over force. This is unfair to those who actually give something up in their characters' abilities for bone-shattering force.

In addition, it would make fights with him a very binary affair- someone cannot describe being grazed, or rolling with the blow, or any of the other methods that permit an attacker to have some measure of success without completely annihilating their opponent.

[Frozen_Feet]

I agree with Sucrose regarding the "father figure". It's not bone-breaking strenght per se that I find objectionable - rather, it's the combination of abilities that's becoming problematic.

Hirokatsu's main strenght is speed and precision - he's very likely to score grazing hits. His Shikai ability already makes it a dangerous combination - your bankai as described is magnitudes worse.

I think the basic theme of bringing ancestors to help is sound, as is using "mother" and "family" for defense and "father" for offense - the abilities just need to be toned down somewhat and defined better.

EDIT: one idea would be that his offensive ability remains as it is in Shikai, and he gains the bone armor and mother's embrace. Rather than trying to balance regeneration + invulnerability with aging, just have the regeneration take longer - from minutes to hours, for example. Being "out of the fight" and narratively inefficient would be much more concrete drawback to the ability, as well as likelier to come up.

[HirokatsuGoto]

thanks for the response

My answers in RED

With respect, HirokatsuGoto, I believe this zanpaktou to be somewhat overpowered.

First, you need to explain whether the aging is shinigami aging (aka: very slowed) or analogous to normal human aging.

The ultimate aging after the mother figure embrace after Bankai would be Shinigami aging, but my character is already very old.

Second, I do not believe a concern which is unlikely to come up as a deciding factor in the fight itself to be an adequate drawback to a total sanctuary effect. As such, unless it ages him sufficiently quickly that he would die within a minute or so of use of his mother figure's protection, I do not think it is possible to balance the effect in this way.

It may not seem a drawback on this side of lookign at it, but as the character himself, knowing he has only a limited time even in Soul Society, woudl be a major drawback to using the ability.

I do see what you are saying though. Perhaps the ultimate "after bankai" aging would be the same as it is, but the aging "in" the Bankai form woudl be much more drastic, and thus would effect his ability to continue fighting at a high level. (maybe speed and strength reduces)

Though this is a Bankai afterall, it is supposed to be an impressive thing. But the fact that the total length of how long he can be in Bankai form in the 1st place being limited by his experience should also be noted.

I woudl prefer to work out this potential fault instead of scrapping it.
Third, the absolutism in his father figure's ability to break bones is...problematic. The way it reads at the moment, he wouldn't need particularly heavy blows to shatter others' defenses, meaning that his fighting style would possess all of the benefits of a slower, more power-focused style, with none of the drawbacks, (it is a big weapon mostly two-handed..its not a nimble weapon) since the Vice Captain emphasizes precision over force (he focuses on precision in Shikai not in Bankai...and would have to become a Captain to ever use this Bankai without some kind of community approval). This is unfair to those who actually give something up in their characters' abilities for bone-shattering force. (what do you mean by this statement?)
In addition, it would make fights with him a very binary affair- someone cannot describe being grazed, or rolling with the blow, or any of the other methods that permit an attacker to have some measure of success without completely annihilating their opponent.
I am again confused, but if this was a big lawa sword, or big spiky sword with acid, or big really powerful sword slash, and it hit someone on the back, wouldnt it hurt them terribly too? the weapon is allowed to be blocked by other swords, if you didnt block those weapons it woudl mess ya up too. I dont see how you cant have "some measure of success" by avoiding and parrying or blocking...just like any other bankai or shikai...what is different with this one is that if you allow it to hit your body then you are gonna get a unique and painful effect... it is similar to his shikai in this way...it is an effect that would tend not to kill (unless your fightign style is getting struck by your enemies in the head and vertabrae multiple times)...it is meant to cause pain and make the enemy rethink their desire to fight...

again i would prefer not to lose the ability, i would rather lose the embrace power and potentially heighten the "hierro" or something instead of losing this ability

[HirokatsuGoto]

Thanks all for your responses,

liek isaid in the first post, i am interested in working on all this with all of you...i am just responding to the points being brought up and how i was thinking about them...in NO way am i saying you are wrong or that i am unwilling to listen or change...i am just trying to clarify

My response below in RED

I agree with Sucrose regarding the "father figure". It's not bone-breaking strenght per se that I find objectionable - rather, it's the combination of abilities that's becoming problematic.

Hirokatsu's main strenght is speed and precision - he's very likely to score grazing hits. His Shikai ability already makes it a dangerous combination - your bankai as described is magnitudes worse.

I see your point, however, i felt that the large size of this weapon, would force him to have to fight differently, more power based

(also just to be clear he doesnt retain his Shikai abilities in Bankai)I think the basic theme of bringing ancestors to help is sound, as is using "mother" and "family" for defense and "father" for offense - the abilities just need to be toned down somewhat and defined better.

I welcome your thoughts on the bone breaking ability

EDIT: one idea would be that his offensive ability remains as it is in Shikai, and he gains the bone armor and mother's embrace. Rather than trying to balance regeneration + invulnerability with aging, just have the regeneration take longer - from minutes to hours, for example. Being "out of the fight" and narratively inefficient would be much more concrete drawback to the ability, as well as likelier to come up.

I like the idea of it taking longer, and forcing him "out of the fight" as you say. That probably makes sense, and that combined with his limited amount of time he can be in Bankai woudl severely limti his ability to heal much at all.

I am not a fan of him retaining his Shikai abilities and only gaining the defensive powers, unless somethign woudl change to the Shikai ability (maybe something like instead of the blade restriking once it restrikes twice or something and maybe the sword changes whiel the shield turns into the bone skin).
I realy liek the concept of bone breaking as an even more effective means to punish those who want to continue to fight, in shikai they were slices, but in Bankai they are bone breaks...it woudl hurt more and be more crushing on the psyche.

[Terry576]

Well after reading the bankai I felt worried.

What Sucrose is saying is that most characters give up a massive amount of abilities in exchange for power. And the way you describe it is called "godmodding". Taking control of another's character.

Yes, it would hurt a lot if they were hit, but "Bone-shattering" means they have no control over what happens. The response can't be "Dave takes the blow, and retaliates", or "Dave is hit, and staggers back", or anything else. It can only be "Dave's leg is now broken", or "Dave dodges the attack". Bone-Shattering is quite over-powered, much like Time Manipulation. But the main problem is:

A Bankai is supposed to a continuation of your Shikai's abilities.

Not like Soi Fon's Bazooka. Your shikai is the size of an average sword.

Why is your Ban Kai a freaking Claymore-Sized Staff, whose abilities don't really connect to your Shikai's?

I agree with FF. Tone down the power a bit, and maybe just add a few abilities?

@TGVA: I read the ability and I thought "MAR". Was that what you were going for?

[tgva8889]

Okay...here's an ability I'm working on, but at the moment I'm unsure of whether it even functions at all. Could people look at it? It is for a character I'm currently working on. Also, my writing may be totally unclear, so that would be helpful to look at.

Spoiler

Show

Dream Combat: By touching the target's head with the tip of this zanpakuto and initiating this ability, both the target and the user are mentally transported into a blank, empty voidspace. The voidspace appears to have a solid ground surface, but it is not made of any kind of material. Nothing exists in this space except the subjects of this ability and any items they had on them when the ability was activated. In this space, all powers function normally and both combatants can battle each other as normally as they could in the physical world. In fact, for all intents and purposes, actions and combat taken in this voidspace appear to be completely as they would be in reality.

When either foe is defeated, this effect ends and both are returned to the real world. While they suffer none of the wounds that they suffered in the voidspace, they do feel the same amount of fatigue and pain as normal. Additionally, if either subject of this ability is killed in the voidspace, that subject falls unconscious immediately upon returning to reality.

Those observing the subjects of this ability will see the ability initiated and the combat ending shortly after activation. The voidspace is time-displaced from the real world at an extreme rate, translating several years in the voidspace into merely minutes.

Any comments?

[Sucrose]

I did not say that it was not a drawback, but that it was not a balancing factor. If he needs the effect, he will use it, because losing some of your lifespan is considerably more acceptable than losing all of it. Thus, it does not prevent the effect from being used as needed, it does not weaken the effect, and thus it does precisely nothing to balance the combat utility of a near-absolute sanctuary effect.

Your suggestion of the sanctuary effect aging him more dramatically while he is in Bankai is perhaps more reasonable; it makes escape considerably more difficult, since he's slowing and dying at the same time. Maybe something like 'the fastest that he can heal is twice the speed at which his physical abilities weaken from aging,' thereby allowing his opponents' attacks to always have at least half effect.

A 'big lava sword' or 'spiky sword with acid' or 'really powerful sword' do not break bones with even a light touch, unless there's a massive gulf between the wielder of the weapon and their opponent. They are powerful weapons, but they still need to get a decent blow in; a grazing blow wouldn't necessarily be crippling.

However, the 9th Division VC's zanpaktou will always break bones if it makes contact at all. Thus, binary: they either get hit or they do not. With the 'big lava sword,' there are more options: they get hit, they do not, they manage to roll with the blow, so that they only get contact burns, rather than a massive, cauterized wound, or they only get grazed, resulting in a mild, cosmetic burn that demonstrates that their opponent can harm them, but cannot overwhelm them just yet. There is a gradient, rather than a yes/no statement.

Also, a weapon being two-handed is in no way an indication of unwieldiness.

As for what I mean by the reference to those who give up something of their character's abilities, it's simply that there is a certain maximum amount of power acceptable at any given tier. Thus, in order to gain the benefits of immense strength, which you replicate with the bone-breaking ability, they accept weaknesses in their basic abilities, such as lower speed, inferior kido, or weak zanjutsu.

Edit: tgva, I don't have any particular objections to a Dividing Driver ability. Seems like any tactical applications beyond prevention of collateral damage would be removed by the fact that it happens instantly.

Edit2: Actually, I guess I did say that it wasn't an adequate drawback. What I meant, however, is that it could not balance the effect.

[tgva8889]

That's basically the design of it, actually. Do you think that other abilities could be applied to the zanpakuto, or is that more than enough? It does have some other applications, like abilities based on manipulating outside forces are much less useful (like, for example, a "Stone Shape Zanpakuto" would be useless), but in general, it's just supposed to prevent collateral damage, make combat a 1-on-1 affair, and make combat non-lethal.

[Frozen_Feet]

Well after reading the bankai I felt worried.

What Sucrose is saying is that most characters give up a massive amount of abilities in exchange for power. And the way you describe it is called "godmodding". Taking control of another's character.

Yes, it would hurt a lot if they were hit, but "Bone-shattering" means they have no control over what happens. The response can't be "Dave takes the blow, and retaliates", or "Dave is hit, and staggers back", or anything else. It can only be "Dave's leg is now broken", or "Dave dodges the attack". Bone-Shattering is quite over-powered, much like Time Manipulation. But the main problem is:

A Bankai is supposed to a continuation of your Shikai's abilities.

Not like Soi Fon's Bazooka. Your shikai is the size of an average sword.

Why is your Ban Kai a freaking Claymore-Sized Staff, whose abilities don't really connect to your Shikai's?

I agree with FF. Tone down the power a bit, and maybe just add a few abilities?

Ummm... to kill an Arrancar in 10 grazing hits, Hirokatsu would first have to inflict injury near a lethal spot (such as the neck), and then score 9 more hits.

This is assuming the first hit is enough to even injure the enemy, and that the enemy has no regenerative or healing qualities.

Consider this: how fast can Hirokatsu inflict those 10 hits to an enemy who's actively defending himself? Can he do so without risk to himself?

Hirokatsu's Shikai is fine. Most characters on the same level would not be automatically screwed by it. There's no need to tone it down.

What comes to his Bankai, "bone-breaking strenght" is definitely not the problem here. There are several characters across the board who could inflict similar injury to characters of the same level with raw strength alone. There are much more narrative options for dealing with possibility of such injury than you are giving people credit for here - one of them being suffering the injury and proceeding to keep on figthing regardless.

Broken bones don't equal dead character. They don't even equal loss for a character.

The real problem here is a combination of abilities that'd make a character undefeatable - super-speed and precision + instant crippling injury. One side has to be toned down - either Hirokatsu can't hit as well, or he can't do as much damage with a grazing blow.

Also, both Soifon's and Hirokatsu's Bankais are clearly continuation of their previous abilities - Soifon goes from "small, two-hit-kill stinger" to "big, one-hit-kill stinger", Hirokatsu goes from "minor defensive boost and gradual crippling injuries with grazing blows" to "major defensive boost and instant crippling injuries with grazing blows". Since you don't see it, I guess you're just blind.

[Sucrose]

FF, he wasn't saying that the broken bones were necessarily completely guaranteed to lead to defeat. It was just that only two things can happen when he tries to strike an enemy: either a completely effective hit, or a miss.

It is true that there are more narrative options that can be used after the blow, but all of those can be used for any weapon. The main point is that the bone breaking zanpaktou is a narrative bottleneck.

Plus, as you point out, it's overpowered on a speedster.

[Frozen_Feet]

Okay...here's an ability I'm working on, but at the moment I'm unsure of whether it even functions at all. Could people look at it? It is for a character I'm currently working on. Also, my writing may be totally unclear, so that would be helpful to look at.

Spoiler

Show

Dream Combat: By touching the target's head with the tip of this zanpakuto and initiating this ability, both the target and the user are mentally transported into a blank, empty voidspace. The voidspace appears to have a solid ground surface, but it is not made of any kind of material. Nothing exists in this space except the subjects of this ability and any items they had on them when the ability was activated. In this space, all powers function normally and both combatants can battle each other as normally as they could in the physical world. In fact, for all intents and purposes, actions and combat taken in this voidspace appear to be completely as they would be in reality.

When either foe is defeated, this effect ends and both are returned to the real world. While they suffer none of the wounds that they suffered in the voidspace, they do feel the same amount of fatigue and pain as normal. Additionally, if either subject of this ability is killed in the voidspace, that subject falls unconscious immediately upon returning to reality.

Those observing the subjects of this ability will see the ability initiated and the combat ending shortly after activation. The voidspace is time-displaced from the real world at an extreme rate, translating several years in the voidspace into merely minutes.

Any comments?

Sato Hachirou has a similar ability, is one of the oldest characters in the whole game, and no-one's ever cried foul due to it. His ability has other effects as well. As such, I see nothing wrong with this one.

It is true that there are more narrative options that can be used after the blow, but all of those can be used for any weapon. The main point is that the bone breaking zanpaktou is a narrative bottleneck.

Plus, as you point out, it's overpowered on a speedster.

Yes? It's hardly the first bottleneck created by character abilities. For example, I see no way for someone to fight Natsuko without getting singed, or Karite without getting a frostbite. In my opinion, there's enough room for different descriptions, even if there isn't as much as with some other abilties.

But yes, the combination is too limiting, there we agree.