[Nexus] GLoG 61: Now with 100% More Goblins

[Morty]

[Infirmary]

Reelshka pokes her head through the window to see who's shouting so much.

[Haruki-kun]

"IT'S ME! I'm the one that's shouting so much! CRAP! I'M ANSWERING TO NARRATION TEXT!"

[Morty]

Reelshka grabs a heavy wrench and a rock and steps outside. What's going on?

[Haruki-kun]

"He shot me! He shot me right in the legs! It hurts!" He points at the general direction the shot came from, even though he still hasn't seen who shot him.

[ThirdEmperor]

Riv leaps from the roof triumphant, attempting to pull a "bad-ass action hero" landing.... And as he currently has trouble walking and chewing gum, fails and ends up hitting the ground face first. Picking himself up, he walks over to the assassin. Who hired you!? He shouts, waving the gun in a somewhat threatening manner. It's worth notin that he has a bloody stump in place of a right arm and his labcoat is scorched, torn and bloodstained.

[Morty]

Reelshka waves her wrench and rock in a way she thinks is treathening. Leave him alone! You don't get to shoot people because you think they're assassins!

[Haruki-kun]

"....hired? Nobody hired me! I came here on my own!"

His left hand begins to glow as he spreads a healing spell on his legs. "That's some good weaponry, I'll admit. I'd appreciate it a lot more if you weren't testing it on me, though."

[ThirdEmperor]

But he's obviously a assassin! Look, he's wearing dark robes and a chef's hat! How much more proof do you need that he's an assassin who kills with poisoned food! Riv shouts at Reelshka.

[Haruki-kun]

"Oh, please that is.... well, actually that's a prety good guess, but it's not true! I'm just looking for help! And people! And... Other things that don't involve killing! AT ALL!"

[Morty]

Are you crazy?! Not everyone who wears black clothes is an assassin! How paranoid can you get?!

[ThirdEmperor]

Look, I happen to know there's a contract out on me, and then some guy wearing assassin's clothes walks into camp! It doesn't take a super-genius like me to figure out what's going on! Now help me build a brain-scanning device so we can- Oh god-d***** I can't do that anymore. Fine, just get me a chair, some rope and a roll of ducktape. Riv says angrily, spazzing out.

[Haruki-kun]

"Like hell!" says the man who is not an assasin. "Do you think I'm just gonna let you tie me up in a chair? I'm not your freakin' prisoner! I'm a visitor! Do you treat all your visitors like this?"

[Morty]

No, I'm not letting you interrogate him, Reelshka says icily. Just because someone put a hit on you doesn't mean everyone is an assassin. The world doesn't revolve around you. She would be more sympathetic to someone who's being targeted by hitmen, bit Riv kind of annoyed her.

[Murkus]

Praetorious steps out of his chair by the main cabin and is suddenly blurring towards the scene of this little fiasco. Riv might suddenly find a big, glaring fellow with freakish little eyes standing beside him.

Hoping he's quick enough, Prae tries to snatch the gun away. Currently, he prefers to get the weapon away before Riv hurts anyone. "That is enough."

[ThirdEmperor]

Well seeing as the vast majority of people I've met have tried to kill me, I'd say the odds are pretty good that he's an assassin! And yes, because every visitor I get is an asssassin! Riv says, shouting again and ignoring the loss of his gun.

[Haruki-kun]

"I'm not an assasin!" he insists. "Gods, you're so paranoid."

Finished healing his legs, he turns to the other two. "I suppose you guys won't try to shoot me, right?"

[ThirdEmperor]

It's not paranoia if they're actually trying to get you!!!

[Murkus]

Prae looks at the odd weapon, curious, before glancing back at the conversation. "Perhaps this impulsive and violent nature is why you're always being attacked. But I can see how such things would make one rightfully paranoid."

[ThirdEmperor]

I'm not violent! I set the ray to "Stun"! Riv shouts, waving his hands.

[Morty]

SHUT UP OR I'LL HAVE YOU LOCKED UP!! Reelshka shrieks. Ahem. No, of course we won't shoot you, she adresses the Mysterious Stranger.

[Haruki-kun]

"How about I stun you with this thing and then we discuss whether you consider it violent or not?"

[Murkus]

I'm not violent! I set the ray to "Stun"! Riv shouts, waving his hands.

He has no idea what a raygun is, he just saw that the weapon appeared to be hurting Mister Stranger. "Even so, people don't exactly appreciate being stunned at random when they're here to make diplomatic ties." He pauses. "You know, if you want some help dealing with assassins and the like, I'm sure I or one of the other stronger members here at GLoG would be happy to help. But this is not an assassin. He's with a vigilante grop."

[ThirdEmperor]

You lock me up and I'll blast my way out and look awesome doing so! Riv shouts at Reelshka, before registering Mister Stranger's comment. See!? He just threatened me! He just as good as admitted he's an assassin.

[Morty]

With that arritude, it's no wonder you have assassins after you. Reelshka rolls her eyes.

[Haruki-kun]

"I am NOT here to assasinate you! As appealing as that may sound." He turns to Reel and Prae. "So diplomatic ties, please?"

[ThirdEmperor]

Look, he just said he wanted to kill me! Gimme back my gun! Riv shouts.

[Morty]

No he didn't! Reelshka yells and turns to the Mysterious Stranger. Well, we don't really have any authority to make such decisions. But we can talk.

[Haruki-kun]

"Let's talk then, shall we?" says the stranger with a nod. "What do you do around here?"

[Morty]

I'm an architect. I helped make the cabins structurally sound and then rebuild and repair them after a big catastrophe.

[ThirdEmperor]

He said the idea of killing me sounded appealing! What more proof do you need?!