Useless but fun magic Items

[Gildedragon]

Hey, I already thought of that one (with -4 instead of -2, but still).

Huh. I should have put them as -3 actually... anyway.
What about a scroll of
"Owlbear's Splendor" or "Catfox's Endurance"

[TuggyNE]

Ring of Chickens: Causes the character to have the chicken-infested flaw for as long as he wears it. If the character aleady has this flaw, he gets two chickens at a time.

Unfortunately, that is extremely not useless, as that's the most absurdly abusable flaw in D&D outside of random homebrew on dandwiki. Seriously, the things you can do with it make it probably worth two feats at least, not -1.

What about a scroll of "Owlbear's Splendor" or "Catfox's Endurance"

I dunno about Catfox, but Owlbears have 10 Cha?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'll stop nitpicking now.

[Blightedmarsh]

Ring of gate

This ring allows the bearer to be summoned and bound as per the spell "Gate".

The mark of the ninja

This mark activates at random intervals to summon celestial ninjas to attack the bearer.

Stick of the order

This club provides a +6 inherent bonus to hit and damage on called strikes against sanity or patience. It provides a +3 circumstance bonus to checks involving idiocy and or madness.

[Crazyfailure13]

Wand of Raise Dead:

When used levitates 1 dead humanoid body 1 inch off of whatever surface it was resting on, and does not move aside from that, if any force tries to move the body while the spell is in effect the body descends back to the surface and the spell ends.

Pebble of Walking:

on command this rock grows 2 feet and steps forward 1 cm per day, this effect can only be used after the pebble has been moved back 1 cm.

[Blightedmarsh]

Wand of the world shaper;

The titanic power of this wand allows the wielder to move an entire continent; by about 1/4 of a centimeter per day.

[Gildedragon]

Periapt of Wisdom-Teeth: Although it appears to be a normal tooth on a chain, a periapt of wisdom-teeth actually increases the possessor's number of teeth in the form of an enhancement bonus of +2, +4, or +6 depending on the individual item.

[Bacon Elemental]

Spear of Fear:
This spear is really scared of people.


The Stone Of Expensive Weight
Once per day, you may spend ten minutes and 50gp of components to increase or decrease the weightby up to one pound.

[Gildedragon]

A less un-useful version of Bacon_Elemental's "Stone of Expensive Weight"

Money Purse of Holding: This small cloth wallet is held shut by a small metal clasp and is richly embroidered. Empty it has a negligible weight and infinite volume, but for every 50 coins placed into it, its weight increases by one pound. If an item that is not a coin (even a disk-shaped ingot) is placed into it, it immediately spits it back out at whoever tried to put it in, dealing 1 point of bludgeoning damage to them.

[TuggyNE]

Pebble of Walking:

on command this rock grows 2 feet and steps forward 1 cm per day, this effect can only be used after the pebble has been moved back 1 cm.

A fractionally more interesting version* is The Cucumbers of Travel. This consists of a number of cucumber seeds; you plant one for each traveler, and sit on the cucumbers as they grow (which takes a few months normally; these magic seeds sprout in only 6 weeks). This will take you 18 inches closer to your destination, or with luck 20. Then you harvest the cucumbers at the appropriate time for more seeds and repeat. (All seeds produced by the cucumbers grown by these magic seeds are themselves magical in the same way.)

Motto: "More haste less speed."

*Based on an old novel. The Magic City, by E. Nesbit.

[nedz]

Mitre of the Bishop
The wearer may only move, and attack, diagonally.

Ring of the Rook
The wearer may not move, or attack, diagonally.

Shoes of the Pawn
The wearer may take a 10' step instead of a 5' step on the first round of combat.
The wearer can only move by making 5', or 10', steps.
The wearer may not move diagonally.
The wearer can only attack diagonally.

Mantle of the Knight, Crown of the King, Robe of the Queen
You get the idea.

[ReaderAt2046]

Ring Of Penguins: Whenever anyone casts a summon monster, summon nature's ally, or gate spell within a mile of this ring, they also summon x d20 penguins, where x is the level of the spell cast. The penguins are not under the summoner's control, and do not vanish when the spell expires.

Stone of Scones: On a succesful UMD check, the stone summons a dozen yummy blueberry scones. On a failure, the stone turns all items held or worn by the caster into yummy blueberry scones. They cannot be turned back.

Wheel of Fortune: Upon spinning this wheel, roll 1d20 and subtract ten from the result. Then apply the resulting number as a luck modifier to every skill check, save, and attack roll made by any character who was within 100 meters of the Wheel when it was spun. The effect lasts 24 hours, and the Wheel cannot be used again for that interval.

[Scizor]

Wand of the world shaper;

The titanic power of this wand allows the wielder to move an entire continent; by about 1/4 of a centimeter per day.

Dude, do you know how fast that is? The speed of tectonic plates is a few centimeters per year at most.Do you know how many earthquakes, volcanoes and tsunamis you would make, and how much terraforming you could do? You could move a continent 91,25 cm in a year. That would wreak the entire world!
And if you say " it only moves the continent, not the tectonic plate," it would still be catastrophical.

[Blightedmarsh]

I did say it had titanic power. It is just that you can't particularly control these earthquakes.

Its a wand for the discerning omnicidal maniac with an eternity to burn and the patience to use it..... Actually that would be good for a BBEG.

In fact the total devastation a reckless player can cause with this item is enough to warrant the DM from sending in NPC parties to vanquish the BBEP.

[ReaderAt2046]

Wand of the world shaper;

The titanic power of this wand allows the wielder to move an entire continent; by about 1/4 of a centimeter per day.

Are there any limitations on which direction you can move it?

Because if I were an evil maniac with this thing, the first thing I'd try is mving my continent straight up. The effects of that would be remarkable and disturbing.

[TuggyNE]

RStone of Scones: On a succesful UMD check, the stone summons a dozen yummy blueberry scones. On a failure, the stone turns all items held or worn by the caster into yummy blueberry scones. They cannot be turned back.

Interesting (and largely useless), but what's the UMD DC?

Wheel of Fortune: Upon spinning this wheel, roll 1d20 and subtract ten from the result. Then apply the resulting number as a luck modifier to every skill check, save, and attack roll made by any character who was within 100 meters of the Wheel when it was spun. The effect lasts 24 hours, and the Wheel cannot be used again for that interval.

This is not useless, but rather very risky. And, of course, all it takes is a couple of reroll abilities (for example, dual-wield empty luck blades), and bam, you have a substantial daily buff. With two rerolls, you have about a 6.4% chance of getting a penalty instead of a buff, and a 48.9% chance of getting at least +7 luck bonuses. If you add in a few luck feats and so on, you can probably get up to at least 3 rerolls, maybe 4, and the ability to count natural 1s as natural 20s.

Extremely powerful.

[nedz]

Helm of Hungarian Communication.

Appearing as a normal helmet, a helm of Hungarian Communication grants its wearer the ability to understand the spoken words of any creature and to read text in any language and any magical writing.

It also functions as a form of Tongues in that creatures who do not speak the language of the wearer can understand his spoken words. There is a slight flaw in this however in that the words are translated so as to have a different, and usually rude, meaning.

[TuggyNE]

Helm of Hungarian Nomenclature
This round helmet appears to have a small spinning ornament with two dull, rounded, slightly-curved blades atop it, and allows the wearer to properly determine the best name, in hungarian notation, for any given person, beast, monster, weapon, armor, tool, magic item, etc.

Examples:

• fwizfdJanielle, for a party Wizard who uses lots of buffing/debuffing spells
• elsorbXykon, for an enemy Sorcerer lich who likes blasting
• nexpmer, for the nameless shopkeeper nearby

Truespeech does not use hungarian notation, and the helm does not confer a bonus on the skill use or researching a truename.

[ReaderAt2046]

I'm planning on giving out a few of these to a party in a game I'm running. Should be funny!

New items:

Hat of Rabbits: Every time you take this hat off your head, a rabbit jumps out.

Ring of Random Plane Shifting: Every time you cast a spell, there is a (1* spell level)% chance that this ring will shift you to a random plane.

Bowl of Endless Bleeposchmeeg: A bowl whose inside is part of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

[nedz]

Bowl of Endless Bleeposchmeeg: A bowl whose inside is part of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

Ah, you'll need the Trousers of Infinite Custard to go with this.

[Gildedragon]

Bowl of Endless Bleeposchmeeg: A bowl whose inside is part of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

What happens if you put a Sustaining Spoon in the bowl?
Does it destroy the plane?

[ReaderAt2046]

What's a Sustaining Spoon do?

[Gildedragon]

It's fills a bowl with nourishing yet bland gruel

[ReaderAt2046]

It would fill the bowl with the gruel, which would create a pocket of gruel somewhere below the surface of the Semi-Elemental Plane of Chocolate Pudding.

[airwolf]

found an Ancient evil artifact, used it to create a fridge to store rat meat.

[ragnaroktog]

Hat of Rabbits: Every time you take this hat off your head, a rabbit jumps out.

Almost as annoying as the Hat of Rabbis.

[ellindsey]

Ring of Soundtracks: While worn, this ring plays soundtracks appropriate to what is happening.

That would be incredibly useful. "Guys, I think this friendly NPC is secretly evil!" "What, did you make your Sense Motive check?" "No, the background music just shifted to a minor key!"

[Wardog]

That would be incredibly useful. "Guys, I think this friendly NPC is secretly evil!" "What, did you make your Sense Motive check?" "No, the background music just shifted to a minor key!"

Quick! Get out of the water!

[Tetsubo 57]

An invisible gold ring. A gold ring that is invisible. It does nothing else.

[PandaPhobia]

[QUOTE=Geohound13;9964346]I need some magic items that are fun but completely useless. Like the Window of transparency, it lets the use see through it . I need more like this.[/QUOT

Crystal of Fortune Telling: the user is able to see the infinite multitudes of potential futures, but no-one believes them about the things they have seen, and are influenced to do the things that lead to the worst future.

[GunDragon]

The Headband of Reverse Intellect: If an idiot wears it, he/she becomes a genius. If a smart person wears it, he/she becomes stupid.

The Amulet of Magic Immunity: This amulet is completely immune to all magic. The wearer of the amulet is still vulnerable to magic.

Ring of the Elderly: This ring makes it so you cannot die of old age. However, wearing the ring gives the wearer the negative effects of aging, such as a sore back, arthritis, wrinkles, bad eyesight, etc.

Potion of Flatulence: Whoever drinks a potion like this will suffer horrible farts that can make one gag.