Habits that kill fun in a session.

[Razgriez]

what beer commercial is being parodied here?

Budweiser's "Real Men of Genius" ads, which ran from about 1998 to 2008, with over 200 versions made in total for Bud Light (Or regular Budweiser in the UK). Made as either TV and/or Radio ads. They are done as mock salutes to men of various, often obscure job titles or professions, or of certain habits.

Examples include:
Mr. Backyard Bug Zapper Inventor
Mr. Gangsta Rapper Posse Member
Mr. Giant Taco Salad Inventor
Mr. Kiss Me I’m Irish Pin Wearer
Mr. Cell Phone Holster Wearer
Mr. Football First Down Marker Guy
and my personal favorite: Mr. Pro Sports Heckler Guy

[Gnoman]

If you don't listen to the radio much, you may remember them as the Real American heroes ads. They changed the name a little under ten years ago.

[Choco]

Well I suck at things like this, but may as well try and see what happens...

Mr. Senior Newbie

Spoiler

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Giant in the Playground Forums Presents: Real Roleplayers of Genius...
Real Role-Players of Geeeeeenius!

Today we Salute You, Mr. Senior Newbie
Mr. Senior Neeeeeewbie!

Like all of us at one point, you were the new guy in the group, the fresh face, the first-timer, still learning the ropes in an unfamiliar environment. You were forgiven for not knowing the rules and not even knowing how to play your character.
How I mine for fish????

But now you have 5 years of experience under your belt, one of the most senior members still left in the group, you are the experienced player that newbies look to for help. But 5 years of vegetating at the table have taken their toll, because despite your experience you have not gained a single shred of game knowledge in that time.
What do I roll to attaaaaaack????

Your best moments are when you claim you have a life and are too busy to waste time reading D&D books all day. You are so busy with your life that you do not even have the time for paying attention during the game to aid in figuring out the Fighter you have been playing every week for 5 years.
Some of us have lives outside of D&D!

So here's to you, O master of blocking new knowledge, and grab yourself an ice-cold Cure Light; you've earned it. Because you make the married-with-kids guy working 2 jobs and effectively playing a caster despite only being introduced to D&D 1 year ago look even more awesome.
Mr. Senior Neeeeewbie!

[big teej]

okay...

I vote for a new thread.

"real roleplayer's of genius"

and we convert every thing from this thread into this new format.

[Choco]

okay...

I vote for a new thread.

"real roleplayer's of genius"

and we convert every thing from this thread into this new format.

Ok.

Real Roleplayers of Genius

[big teej]

huzzah!

LOLs for everyone!!!

[The Random NPC]

The Worst Session Trilogy:

Part One: The Insane DM "I think I just dealt with the worst gaming session"
Part Two: The Stolen Story "In which the worst session comes back to haunt me. Sort of."
Part Three: The Fleshwound "New Worst Session: How Lanky got hisself stabbed!"
Because everyone should know.
On topic, the Schrodingamer. That player that exists in superposition until looked at. For example, party of 5 comes across a bridge spanning a pool of acid. The Half-Ogre and Pixie decide to cross. After they make it safely across, the rest of the party crosses. DM rolls, Player X gets attacked. Que Player X, "What?!? I crossed with the Ogre!!"

[Roga]

Sorry if these were covered already, but I'm still reading though (I'm on page 19), but wanted to post these.

The "No, it wasn't MY idea" Guy This guy wants to do things his way however moronic or needlessly wasteful. When you offer a simple solution he'll go out of his way to be as obtuse as possible.
Example:

Spoiler

Show

Campaign covered large distances, and we had a Half-dragon Warforged (With a feat to have wings despite being medium) who could fly tirelessly. The pixie in the group sits on his shoulder, and the warforged artificer (who has a fun backstory involving the creation of the Half dragon WF) sits in his portable hole crafting workshop during travel. Also on the surface is the Artificers' trusty Flesh golem Helga, and a human Sorcerer. Long story short, the group could all either fly or run tirelessly but the Sorcerer. After much complaining he demanded we make a harness for him to ride the golem. (Think those backpacks for holding babies). After complaining that she was a moron who attacked blindly and with little guidance, dragging him from point A to point B during the fights, we had to explain over and over again that she was mindless and would only change actions if you told her to, but he'd rather sulk about her stupidity. So now the harness is a no go. The artificer had just gotten the hang of making effigy creatures, and offered to make him an effigy hippogryph that could fly faster than the Warforged HD, and would likewise me tireless.
But no, he wanted to go with his idea of wands and potions of Fly. Despite being told that it was horribly uneconomical, and that he would still be subject to the rigors of the forced march.
The artificer had to give the the effigy for free and demand he take it before the artificer would make anything else for him.

The Moon Logic guy
This guy has really off the wall questions or statements that make the whole party stop and say "What?"
Some gems:
How do they know I'm a centaur? I'm wearing a mask?
But what about non-magical spells?
Can I use a wall of stone to make wood?
If I took a boulder, and polymorphed it into a horse and then-Wait, polymorphed it into a pebble and ground it into dust, could I put it in a cup, wait, if I put the pebble in a cup, could I pick it up?

The Never learns the rules guy
This guy has been playing the game for years, has all the books, and all the dragon magazines. Yet, he cannot figure out how simple class features work (Had a Ranger 10/Fighter 2, with 12 levels of fighter feats and an animal companion of a 12th lvl druid, AND it was the high lvl beast with all the powers of a basic beast). Likewise he asks for help when making the characters, and we explain how things work, what his attack bonuses are, and when he fudges them or "corrects" them and we call him on it, he blames US for making the character wrong.

Sadly, I had all 3 of these guys in 1 player.

[Gnoman]

S
The Moon Logic guy
This guy has really off the wall questions or statements that make the whole party stop and say "What?"
Some gems:
How do they know I'm a centaur? I'm wearing a mask?
But what about non-magical spells?
Can I use a wall of stone to make wood?
If I took a boulder, and polymorphed it into a horse and then-Wait, polymorphed it into a pebble and ground it into dust, could I put it in a cup, wait, if I put the pebble in a cup, could I pick it up?

By itself, can't say I agree with you there. These people can be fun, unless they smell like an alley.

[Choco]

The Moon Logic guy
This guy has really off the wall questions or statements that make the whole party stop and say "What?"
Some gems:
How do they know I'm a centaur? I'm wearing a mask?
But what about non-magical spells?
Can I use a wall of stone to make wood?
If I took a boulder, and polymorphed it into a horse and then-Wait, polymorphed it into a pebble and ground it into dust, could I put it in a cup, wait, if I put the pebble in a cup, could I pick it up?

Oh God, I feel your pain. I have TWO of the following in one of my current groups:

The Moon Logic Argumentative guy
This guy is just like the Moon Logic guy above, but he doesn't ask questions, he attempts to do things while operating under his screwed-up assumptions. When the DM and/or the other players point out it will not work that way, he screams and argues for over half an hour. He can eventually be argued down, but is bitter the entire rest of the session.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Sadly, I had all 3 of these guys in 1 player.

Did your group make the player leave?

[MlleRouge]

We have a 'Never Learns the Rules' type guy in my latest group. He's a pretty new player, but while he's mastered some rules and is perceptive at picking up certain new things without being told, he can't remember how to do some amazingly basic things.

For example, he figured out without being told that some of his druid's wildshape forms had greater movement speed and could therefore move more squares per round, but he has to be reminded how to make a saving throw. Every time.

Everyone is super patient with him over this, though :D

[Ghost6442]

The Moon Logic guy
This guy has really off the wall questions or statements that make the whole party stop and say "What?"
Some gems:
How do they know I'm a centaur? I'm wearing a mask?
But what about non-magical spells?
Can I use a wall of stone to make wood?
If I took a boulder, and polymorphed it into a horse and then-Wait, polymorphed it into a pebble and ground it into dust, could I put it in a cup, wait, if I put the pebble in a cup, could I pick it up?

This is like the summery of my 4ed players all 6 to 7 of them

[Talakeal]

On topic, the Schrodingamer. That player that exists in superposition until looked at. For example, party of 5 comes across a bridge spanning a pool of acid. The Half-Ogre and Pixie decide to cross. After they make it safely across, the rest of the party crosses. DM rolls, Player X gets attacked. Que Player X, "What?!? I crossed with the Ogre!!"

Or his uglier cousin, the player who doesn't bother to write down aspects of their character until they are relevant. For example leaving skills blank and then writing down whatever skill they need once it comes up. Usually once they write something down it stays for good, but not always...

[Knaight]

Or his uglier cousin, the player who doesn't bother to write down aspects of their character until they are relevant. For example leaving skills blank and then writing down whatever skill they need once it comes up. Usually once they write something down it stays for good, but not always...

One can design a system for this that works just fine. You have your pool of skill points or slots (this wouldn't be D&D), and you spend them or use them as you go, to define skills as they come up. Of course, what you use now you don't have open later.

[dsmiles]

One can design a system for this that works just fine. You have your pool of skill points or slots (this wouldn't be D&D), and you spend them or use them as you go, to define skills as they come up. Of course, what you use now you don't have open later.

That actually sounds pretty cool.

[Blackfang108]

The I hate __E Player: this player just will not shut up about how much he hates a certain system/edition.

I DM at a convention, and I was running a game of Changeling: the Lost. About halfway through, we were taking a (very) short break and someone mentioned 4e.

The player to my right started ranting about a "Tactical wargame" "not a game" ...

OK, I get it, you hate 4e, AND you're someone I never want to see again. You know what, YOU'RE NOT EVEN PLAYING D&D AT THE MOMENT. You're playing nWoD! FOCUS!

It took me much longer than I would have liked to get him to drop the subject, and EVERYONE at the table was glaring at him with the glare of death.

Note that: There were some people I was introducing to RP in general with this session. Great introduction to a friendly, Social game, huh?

[Knaight]

That actually sounds pretty cool.

Its basically this concept in generic terms. Note that the system that is for uses a word scale, you can basically just call the top row +3, the next +2, and so forth on down and get the same result.

[dsmiles]

Its basically this concept in generic terms. Note that the system that is for uses a word scale, you can basically just call the top row +3, the next +2, and so forth on down and get the same result.

So is that how the actual Fudge game system works, or is this an alternate rule set? (I noticed that it's called "Fudge on the Fly")

[Knaight]

So is that how the actual Fudge game system works, or is this an alternate rule set? (I noticed that it's called "Fudge on the Fly")

Its an alternate character generation method. The ones presented in the core rulebook are the Objective and Subjective methods, one of which is a GURPSesque point buy method, the other a very unstructured method. Fudge on the Fly is a relatively popular house rule, released in an e-zine of Fudge material. There is also a fourth main option, released on the developer's blog, called 5-Point Fudge, wherein one has a limited pool of points that buys what are essentially generic skill packages within a style.

[Choco]

Note that: There were some people I was introducing to RP in general with this session. Great introduction to a friendly, Social game, huh?

Oh man, that reminds me of this one time my friend was trying to show another of our friend's mom (who was the cliche "video games are evil" type mom) that not all games are violent bloodbaths. He boots up xbox live and gets on Uno. The first group he lands in was in the middle of talking about all the women they laid, what positions are their favorites, etc. The second group were in the middle of comparing penis sizes (using the video chat feature of course...). Lets just say he was not able to make his point . (to be fair, he tried to use the xbox live community as an example of "family friendly", so he kinda got what was coming to him)

On topic:

Mr. 15 Minute Stunt-For those who don't know, in Exalted you can get bonuses for describing your actions in an epic way. This player thinks that the longer and more in detail his description is, the larger his bonus will be. He spends 15 minutes ON EVERY ACTION HE EVER DOES describing down to the most minute detail of how his character takes 2 steps and hits the villain in the face with his hammer (a 1 second action). He even stands up and painstakingly and slow-motion recreates each individual step multiple times to make sure we get how awesomely he is walking towards the guy. And of course the ST won't stop him...

[Kylarra]

Or his uglier cousin, the player who doesn't bother to write down aspects of their character until they are relevant. For example leaving skills blank and then writing down whatever skill they need once it comes up. Usually once they write something down it stays for good, but not always...

Paranoia has a specialties system like this. It's pretty fun to come up with a random specialty on the fly. One of my friends had "reprogramming robots while riding on top of them".

[SamBurke]

Honestly, I only have a problem with 2 things:

1. My lateness.

2. My affair with backstory.

As to 1., they know I'm going to be roughly 30 minutes late, so they just start without me most of the time anyway.

About 2., though, I do fear I'm a bit of a hog. I'm a writer by nature, and I do about as many sessions as a GM as I do as a player, so it's often hard to change. Besides that, all characters have a MINIMUM of 4 different backstories, usually involving villains, motivations, etc, etc. Explaining those and roleplaying them takes up too much time.

If it's not that far off-topic, are there ways to do this better, without taking up as much space?

[big teej]

If it's not that far off-topic, are there ways to do this better, without taking up as much space?

this thread may be of help. I know I personally write more backstories than actual summations.

perhaps you can find something useful here?


http://www.giantitp.com/forums/showthread.php?t=166503

[bloodtide]

Mr .015 of a Minute Stunt--The opposite of Mr. 15 minute stunt guy. This guy just barley lets the GM know what they are doing at any time. They say such helpful things like:

"I attack", ''I do something'' or ''I act''.

[Silus]

Or his uglier cousin, the player who doesn't bother to write down aspects of their character until they are relevant. For example leaving skills blank and then writing down whatever skill they need once it comes up. Usually once they write something down it stays for good, but not always...

I confess, I've done this with languages.

[dsmiles]

I confess, I've done this with languages.

I've got one of those. I have a guy that doesn't speak any languages.

[Razgriez]

Mr Elite Critic player: If there is one type that can make all Optimizers look bad, it's this fellow. And I frown upon this, correction.... get extremely annoyed with these people. It's the power-gamer/Munchkin rolled together with the optimizer, except.. they seem tolerable because they at least DON'T CRITICIZE EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR CHARACTER

Oh no... this person also decided to add to that recipe a dash of "Snobbish, Better/Holier-than-thou" and a few slices of "Critic". And it's rarely "well you can play better if you do x" it's often "Well I can play a better Character than you"


And yes, I am going to do the post for this in Real RPers of Genius thread....

[Claudius Maximus]

Bonus points if Mr Elite Critic player does not know the first thing about optimization.

[Combat Reflexes]

Mr Elite Critic player: If there is one type that can make all Optimizers look bad, it's this fellow. And I frown upon this, correction.... get extremely annoyed with these people. It's the power-gamer/Munchkin rolled together with the optimizer, except.. they seem tolerable because they at least DON'T CRITICIZE EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR CHARACTER

There is a cure for these kinds of people, you know.
Kick 'em out!

And don't allow them to return until they agree to play a straight fighter (or gay, for that matter)