D&D Demotivators level IV: Ability Increase

[Mordokai]

I am female. I was a teenager when the first book came out. And trust me, I am (and would have been) very much rooting for Blade here.

Just because someone is a teenager doesn't mean they can tolerate bad writing.

Most teenage girls?

[PersonMan]

Most teenage girls?

Some teenage girls. It might have just been the people I knew, but few of them enjoyed reading the books, if they did at all.

[Hiro Protagonest]

Some teenage girls. It might have just been the people I knew, but few of them enjoyed reading the books, if they did at all.

What about the movies?

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No wonder he lost.

[Kris Strife]

Some teenage girls. It might have just been the people I knew, but few of them enjoyed reading the books, if they did at all.

You're all forgetting about the middle aged housewives who buy her books.

[Urpriest]

Is there an automated way to make alignment charts, or is it just a matter of putting together multiple demotivators in paint? I've got an idea for a chart, but I'm lazy.

[flumphy]

What about the movies?

I'll just link to this.

I've actually never seen the movies and cannot fairly state whether they're any better than the books, but for the above reason I suppose I forgive any sexually-repressed, hormonal teenagers for enjoying the visual adaptation.

Oh, and speaking of vampires:

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[horngeek]

I'm tempted to make a motivator featuring Alucard from Hellsing, and some witty remark involving Edward Cullen.

[Welknair]

I'm tempted to make a motivator featuring Alucard from Hellsing, and some witty remark involving Edward Cullen.

I think there was a shirt with a pair of crossed stakes and the words "And then Buffy killed Edward. The End." It was epic.

[Volthawk]

I think there was a shirt with a pair of crossed steaks and the words "And then Buffy killed Edward. The End." It was epic.

What has beef got to do with vampires?

[Welknair]

What has beef got to do with vampires?

...

The stabby steaks, not the cow ones.

[TheCountAlucard]

Then it's stakes, not steaks.

[Welknair]

Then it's stakes, not steaks.

Aww, crap. *Facepalm*

Edit: Fixed. And now I feel like an idiot.

[Geigan]

Do you have the source on this?
(Reminds me of Magic of Faerûn)

No clue on its origin. Here's where I found it. Or if you just want the picture.

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[Yora]

Then it's stakes, not steaks.

Your sure? Their many people who get that wrong.

[Kobold-Bard]

Your sure? Their many people who get that wrong.

It's true. If you go after a vampire with a steak your best hope is that he'll be too full to eat you as well

Fighting a vampire: Use a stake
Cooking dinner: Use a steak.

Tax via Google:

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[Eldan]

You could fry up the steak with some garlic, though.

This entire discussion brings Discworld back to mind.

[Kobold-Bard]

You could fry up the steak with some garlic, though.

This entire discussion brings Discworld back to mind.

My solution is to dissolve garlic salt into holy water and fight vampires with a pressure washer/super soaker.

[Yora]

You could always just bless the water.

[Kobold-Bard]

You could always just bless the water.

I prefer to over-prepare; what if they're resistant to holy water? The garlic is a backup.

Moar taks:

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[Yora]

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[One Step Two]

I prefer to over-prepare; what if they're resistant to holy water? The garlic is a backup.

Moar taks:

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Snip

This webcomic, I read it once, I would like to again, a link would be greatly appreciated, pretty please with a dire-half-dragon-cherry on top!

[Kobold-Bard]

This webcomic, I read it once, I would like to again, a link would be greatly appreciated, pretty please with a dire-half-dragon-cherry on top!

Twas a Google creation I'm afraid. Maybe tineye?

Google tax:

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[aazru]

Hmmm....both series feature a superhuman creature who impregnates a human with its hybrid spawn, which proceeds to 'birth' itself through the host's chest...

Meyerpires are xenomorphs!

inb4 Edward/Xenomorph slashfic.

[Waker]

This webcomic, I read it once, I would like to again, a link would be greatly appreciated, pretty please with a dire-half-dragon-cherry on top!

http://twelvedragons.comicgenesis.com/today.html
NSFW and the comic is inactive, so don't get too excited.

[Morph Bark]

Then it's stakes, not steaks.

"And then beefy steaks Edward, The End" would be just as hilarious.

[Radar]

"And then beefy steaks Edward, The End" would be just as hilarious.

In a Hannibal Lecter way.

[Chilingsworth]

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I recognise GITS, which anime is the other one from?

[Yora]

Seirei no Moribito, same animators.

Havn't actually seen it yet, but everything indicates that the characters are very similar.

[Rockphed]

Some teenage girls. It might have just been the people I knew, but few of them enjoyed reading the books, if they did at all.

My wife thinks the books are pretty bad, but readable. If you can stand whiny teenager for 2400 pages. The movies, however, she only watches to make fun of.

TAX:

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[absolmorph]

My solution is to dissolve garlic salt into holy water and fight vampires with a pressure washer/super soaker.

My preference is a paintball gun engraved with several symbols of my faith firing custom paintballs (filled with garlic and holy water).
A stake bayonet is optional but encouraged.