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    Barbarian in the Playground
     
    Phae Nymna's Avatar

    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Location
    New Orleans, Louisiana
    Gender
    Male

    Default My Writing (PEACH)

    I'm making this thread as a little gallery space for my writing. I'ma add to it bit by bit. Feel free to drop by and critique.

    As for background, I'll be 17 in four days and I'm to be a high school junior next year. I'm in the little leagues for now, but I want to get published in a big lit mag someday. For now I have my school's literary journal (Editorial Assistant!) and an application "LA Writes!", a state level magazine for writing. A lot of this comes from my English class assignments.

    So here goes. Oh! And please ask questions and such. I love feedback!

    The Movement (Personal Work)
    Spoiler
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    I feel changed
    in a way it's too tired to break
    this habit is not what they say
    about what health claim
    is written into law then we can
    not worry? do you know what kind of a crime
    it is that that assembly won't see
    if they don't do it already
    because they have concerns
    the movement turned a new leaf
    but the rest haven't got it
    and so they keep yelling about
    what Nixon wanted
    was to get out of debt
    "---------" tried to push it
    but the bill passed regardless
    of what science suggested
    that it was harmless
    until we banned it
    we stamped it out with the war
    did nothing but fed cartels
    peddle it with illegals
    we have to be respectful of intolerant people
    is not what we are
    traditionalists
    nothing more
    that we can do
    nothing more
    than sunshine well rather a lamp
    and a hose were retrieved
    from the archives
    of the party
    proved it
    was stupendous

    Mixology Haiku (Class Assignment)
    Spoiler
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    Muddled my mint leaves
    indentSplashed bourbon o’er the cracked ice
    Stirring the julep

    Sugar is stirred up
    indentDrops align on the outside
    Cup it in my hand

    Give it to Mama
    indentShe sips and smiles, sips again
    Boy, you mix it strong.

    The Prophetess (Iron Poet Submission)
    Spoiler
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    Splinters grappled with white rubber
    Bleached and roughened grey wood walkways
    Shrimp boots marching to the water

    Tip our hats off to the sailors
    Wave to wrinkled friendly masters
    And to bolder competition

    Pier beneath us as we march out
    To the great and rocking trawler
    Flound'ring softly in the water

    Kissing rebar struts farewell
    Sinking spirits part the dock-head
    Boarding now the ship Cassandra

    Haply gunning into deeper
    Water slapping 'cross the bow plates
    Gazing back at barren harbour

    Towing nets we puttered westward
    Floating line out from great bobbins
    Calculating our endeavours

    Then with lifting power cables
    Ripped out rumbling from the currents
    Hulking hauls of sunken treasures

    Hundreds, thousands, flumping mack'rel
    Mostly oiled- not much better
    Than the worst net last September

    So we ripped her 'round and backward
    Heaving portside our displeasure
    Captain grinding on the levers

    Overtaken with our failure
    We made haste to moor Cassandra
    In the pier we find no pleasure

    Across the Serengeti (Iron Poet Submission)
    Spoiler
    Show
    Across the Serengeti
    From Sea to blazing Sea
    A dying Zebra lies alone
    A sight for all to see

    Its sides are split
    By claws all ripped
    Emitting in the fray
    A cry that that pierces
    Through the dust
    And farther yet to far away

    The Vultures soar
    As Lions gore
    And the Beast does buck and bray
    Though the circle it completes
    Allows the passing of the Day

    Devoured in the peak of life
    It connects the cyclic ring
    Fulfilling one most simple step
    To feed the Beast the World calls King

    VERTIGO (Class Assignment)
    Spoiler
    Show
    PART I

    seven hundred feet bridge the gap

    seven hundred feet
    that twist in the wind

    seven hundred feet
    between brownstone and gold

    the tie has to come off
    it is blocking his view
    and the fog has not helped this

    the hat is gone
    he left it on his desk inside
    inside where the phone has stopped ringing
    since he jammed its wheel with a pencil
    and now his tie is below
    below him somewhere that he cannot see it

    he cannot see down
    or up or left or right
    but he can look back
    at his mistakes and his fears and he can look back
    at his life through the years
    he looks back and sees the veins of his hands
    still clutching the brownstone

    he slips on the wetness
    but shuffles and trips
    and lies flat on the billet with his
    chest and his hips
    and his palms and his forearms
    flat and wet and pressed to the rock

    andhe feels it

    his head is cocked to the left
    his ear is cut by the edge

    he can see all of it now

    PART II

    he had been cold
    a cold from rain and from fog
    but a warmth is blooming in his face
    and in his brain a hot knife
    sliding right down his back

    and his muscles wrack themselves not to spasm

    there is an enfer jaune to haunt him now
    seven hundred feet below
    the pulsar of neon and tungsten and carbon

    blazing in his stomach
    burning his intestines
    boiling his blood

    he erupts-
    his every muscle clenched
    to squeeze out the fear

    the fear
    the fear of god and money and sex
    the fear of red and yellow and black and

    the fear of man and
    the fear of his wife

    the poison she poured
    her heart in that meal
    and she choked him
    and he loves her

    PART III

    but her poison meets his lips
    his lips that he pressed to the stone

    he parts them to kiss her
    and he heaves

    he feels for the sill
    but he cannot see

    he is blind
    to all but the hell below
    and the pain in his hand
    when the wet stone cuts him

    he is crying
    and red and yellow and black

    he cannot see down or up or left or right
    he can only see back where he was safe
    and he flips and he sees back and
    back is the hell and the yellow and red

    and he hits them
    too hard
    Last edited by Phae Nymna; 2011-06-07 at 12:07 AM.
    Avatar by Dihan

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