[Nexus] Trog's Tavern CCXXXVIII: Warning! Random Encounter™ detected!

[Gullara]

*Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

Near the stairs to the second floor rooms is a small white stone platform with a blue tree-like symbol on it. Standing on this platform will teleport someone to the Sanctuary Fortress located Inside where healers are always standing by in case of bar-brawls.

Trog's can be found right around the corner from any place in the Nexus. Somehow. It's best not to question it.

Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Trog
Manager: El Jaspero
Bartenders: The Watchers (they're nice deranged cultists, really!), Phoebe, Ashna, Ambrosia

Trog's Tavern hires only the finest NPC servers:
((Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.))

Bouncer: Baby (NPC, a dwarf who was raised by orcs and has the intellect of Thog.)

Servers:
Nina - A fiesty and vivacious tiefling. Mean, self-centered and completely unavailable. You may have seen her recently on the WotC 4E cartoon.
Paige - A sweet, wholesome, flirty elf working her way through PC school.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel. Truly a monster. RAWR!

DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration , creme de bananes and juices into a Chuul shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain into a highball glass half-filled with ice cubes, and serve.
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Eladrin Carbernet - Official Feywine of the Wild Hunt
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Kobold Chianti - Tart. Tangy. Shifty.
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Powerlust Pinot - For those corruptable humans
Shadar-Kai Shadowine - Served in a jagged, broken glass
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Warlock Wine - Best served cold
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!

Mixed Drinks:
A Drink - Generic booze with ice that can be shaken, stirred, or you know, whatever. Try to be more imaginative next time.
Aboleth Absinthe - Far Realmilicious!
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Dragon Liver Buster - Strongest drink in the house
Dwarf Spirits
Fire Archon Asylum Rum - "FAAR!!!"
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Hemo Colada - 100% less coconut, 100% more ichor
Ice Liquer - From the Plane of Ice: guaranteed to cool you down.
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Jasphattan - El J's Secret Recipie, vermouth & bitters
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Piña CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Rust Monster - Scotch, drambuie shaken in a wooden mixer.
Sneak on the Beach - Peach vodka, cran-pineapple juice, a cat hair
Swampwater - Phosphorescent lemon-lime
White Russian Wukei - for bounty hunters who dig dairy
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.

Beers & Such:
Ales: Archon, Guilders, Balthor's Best
Grim Brewery Ginger Beer - Death-o-licious!
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains.

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - cream has no effect
Dragon's Fire Breath (cherry Kool-Aid) - for the kids!
Fox Cola - the choice of the furry generation
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds
Oni Tea - From the far east.
Red Minotaur Energy Drink - a-MAZE-ing energy!
Root Beer
Save vs. Slow Slurpees™ - C-c-c-cold
Hot Chocolate - Mmmmmmarshmallows

MUNCHIES MENU:
AbyssalNuts - damned and spicy
Baked Goods - Scones and Muffins and Brownies oh my! We have no cake - the cake is a lie!
Bamhacon - where the ham meets the bacon. Served with eggs.
Court of Stars Salad - Fresh fey greens
Hero Sandwiches - what else? Served with Villain vinegrette
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips and hot meat and cheese dip
Yuan-ti Gyros - Lamb. Or halfling. We're not sure.
Trog's Floor Chili - Don't ask Trog where it came from and Trog won't tell you "the floor"

SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand

((When this thread reaches page 50, anyone can make the next thread. However, if you want to make changes to the OP, please check in the OOC thread first to make sure everyone agrees.))

[Earl of Purple]

A dwarf with a long, black, tangled beard mutters to himself at a table. He's arguing with himself about the number of legs the table he's sitting at has. There seem to be about three sides, all him, and none of them right. He's wearing rusting, dirty chainmail and a helmet mounted with a massive, chipped pair of antlers; at least one tine is missing.
___

In a corner watching the other patrons are a gnome in blue silk pantaloons, a puffy-sleeved yellow silk shirt, a green velvet waistcoat, a purple cloak with orange tassels, a black flat cap with a long white feather and tan Chelsea boots and a brown-haired & eyed human wearing chainmail and a red tabard emblazoned with a black two-tailed scorpion. The symbol is mimicked on silver amulets around the necks of both the gnome and the human, and the gnome's shiny brass buttons.
___

Three dark-skinned humans wearing dungarees and suit jackets are looking for adventurous-looking individuals and waiting for Raven to undeadtime.

[Rebonack]

Raven never dead-timed.

She just sat down and waited for her sister to get bored of running around the tavern with her stolen attire. Not about to debase herself by indulging such behavior! She's far to srs for that.

...

Also because she's a grumpy-butt.

*ahem*

...

Yeah.

Raven is just waiting.

[maximus25]

The little boy gasps!

...what?

You thought he was a chimera?

Of course he wasn't! Clearly he was a child the whole time. Thinking anything otherwise would be insane. And you aren't insane, are you?

"You mean you have immortal enemies too?"

And then questions about adventures!

"Yeah! I'm great at adventures and I'm the toughest of all my brothers and sisters!" Ibby proclaims.

Raven looms behind him. Wasn't she just-?

"Except for Raven," Ibby adds quickly. "Raven is waaaay more scary than I am."

Alistair ponders on this sudden change, but chalks it up to this crazy place.


"They aren't really immortal. We just don't hate them to the point that we want to kill as many as possible."

"No offence, but you don't look very suited for adventure, you're a little boy after all."

[Earl of Purple]

One of the dark-skinned men is near Absalon. "Are you an adventurer, sir?" Since he didn't answer the question the first time it was asked.

[Chaotic Bob]

Raven's plan is very deeply flawed.

Viera quickly skitters across the tavern, trying her best to not trip over anything else (only hits one chair) before hopping up onto the back of a booth and peering off towards Raven.

There, she perches, holding the pants in one hand, and pointing accusingly with the other.
"Gruuuuuumpy butt!"

And then she ties the pants around her neck, like a peculiar cape.

[Rebonack]

Raven remains stoic and silent! Just wait it out. Here sister won't be able to keep this up forever. She's sure of it! Just give it some time and eventually she'll get bored or go to sleep or something.

Just have to waaaait.

One of Raven's eyes twitches in irritation.

Meanwhile!

Ibby crosses his arms and huffs. "I'm plenty tough! I beat one of Cthulhu's starspawn all by myself!"

He did, too.

Though it was a pretty close fight.

Ibby got pretty beaten up in the process.

[maximus25]

Raven remains stoic and silent! Just wait it out. Here sister won't be able to keep this up forever. She's sure of it! Just give it some time and eventually she'll get bored or go to sleep or something.

Just have to waaaait.

One of Raven's eyes twitches in irritation.

Meanwhile!

Ibby crosses his arms and huffs. "I'm plenty tough! I beat one of Cthulhu's starspawn all by myself!"

He did, too.

Though it was a pretty close fight.

Ibby got pretty beaten up in the process.

Alistair is confused.

"What's a cthulu?"

One of the dark-skinned men is near Absalon. "Are you an adventurer, sir?" Since he didn't answer the question the first time it was asked.

Alistair looks to the man. "I'm sorry, sir. I'm not an adventurer per say, more of a scientist with some combat experience."

[Chaotic Bob]

At this point, Viera decided this would be a great time to take a nearby top-hat off of someone's head, place it on her own, and then scamper off to the stairs!

It doesn't look like she's getting bored.
Or planning on giving anything back.

She's also making little "Zooooooom!" noises, and apparently pretending to fly.

[Chezmarine]

Chez enters the tavern.

"Sertantly better than that Lousy Dive i was in Last Week."

He Holstered His Glock 69.

"Do we check weapons at the door here?"

[Earl of Purple]

"No, weaponry is allowed in this bar. Please, join us." The gnome calls out to Chez. He appears unarmed, but his human companion is wearing chainmail and has a wooden club carved with mystic-looking runes at his belt.
___

"Oh, that is a pity. Never mind, then. Sorry for bothering you." The man will return to his group.

[Chezmarine]

Chez Walked Over to Them.

"Whatever the Equivilent Of Vodka Here is, I'll have 6."
He Said, Turning to To The Bartender.

"You Take Credit Chips Here?"


Chez Then Turned to The Group... "What is This Place? My V-22 Osprey Crashed And I Wound Up here..."

[nanobot_swarm]

The coyboy who came here a thread or two ago undeadtimes, and starts drinking the whisky he had ordered. While drinking he starts turn to some of his fellow patrons and starts asking around for local news with a gruff voice that has a slight rural accent.

[Rebonack]

Nope.

No weapons allowed in the bar.

Especially not if the weapon in question is a really large sentient sword. That looks to be made of equal parts metal and meat and bone. With a big eye in it. Supported by a bunch of tendrils.

The giant scary sword is presently sipping some tea despite its lack of mouth. The tea is just running down the thing and pooling on the floor.

*ahem*

"Uuuh... Well. If you don't know who Cthulhu is then I probably shouldn't bother explaining. It's all very weird."

So very weird!

[Earl of Purple]

"There's vodka here, all right. And any currency you have, they'll accept. This is the Nexus, a realm between universes, an interdimensional garbage can where just about anything and anyone turns up at any point." The human smiles as he says it; he's rather average- average height, build and average looking. The gnome has an unusually large nose for a gnome, making it an extremely large nose, but has brown hair and is bald.

[maximus25]

Nope.

No weapons allowed in the bar.

Especially not if the weapon in question is a really large sentient sword. That looks to be made of equal parts metal and meat and bone. With a big eye in it. Supported by a bunch of tendrils.

The giant scary sword is presently sipping some tea despite its lack of mouth. The tea is just running down the thing and pooling on the floor.

*ahem*

"Uuuh... Well. If you don't know who Cthulhu is then I probably shouldn't bother explaining. It's all very weird."

So very weird!

"Oh, well okay then. So we were going to the mall?"

[Chezmarine]

Chez Pulled A Box of Monopoly Out of his Pocket.

"{Scrubbed} I mean, Good."

"So, This is Somesort of Alternate Dimension. I guess you don't Even Know What a V-22 Osprey is, Correct?"

[Earl of Purple]

"It's either a giant bird of prey, or it's a vehicle. Probably aircraft, either technological or magical. The style of your firearm suggests technological over magical; few realms invest in gunpowder technology when there's cheap and easy magic to do the same thing. Oh, and the money has to be actually worth something, somewhere, to be useful. Monopoly money doesn't quite work, I'm afraid." The gnome has seen many travellers before. It's his job to talk to new people and try to convert them to Dalachrechianism, and worship the Demon Lord of Invertebrates. The two-tailed scorpion on their amulets, the human's tabard and the gnome's brass buttons is the holy symbol of Dalachrech.

[Mindfreak]

Kathrine enters the bar, her armor is gleaming from being recently polished.
She walks up to the dark-skinned humans in dungarees.
"You look shady."

[Chezmarine]

"Darn it. Still Have to Find A Universe Where i Can Use This {Scrubbed}."

"And Yes, It's A VTO/L AirCraft."

[Earl of Purple]

"That would be... Uh, vertical take off and landing, right? My clan is slowly emigrating here, but on our homeworld the only air travel available is by giant bird of prey, dragon of flying monster. And that's rarely a good thing." The brightly coloured gnome has a better idea of air travel and machinery than his companion, that's for sure. The human is just leaning back and listening to the conversation.
___

"We aren't shady, just broccoli farmers. Say, you wouldn't be an adventurer, would you? A tower sprung up in one of our fields and we want to get rid of it." The dark-skinned man in dungarees and suit jacket who's talking is the smallest of the trio. He also sounds really hopeful.

[Mindfreak]

"A tower sprang up in your broccoli field?"
She laughed.
"Alright, I'll get rid of it. After killing a mother Dragon, how hard could this be? I'll even do it for free!"

[Chezmarine]

"Yes. A Vertcial Take Off and Landing Craft. Military Grade." Chez Stated.

"I'm A Mercenary of Sorts. Looking For A Someone To Help with A Task?" He asked, Loud Enough For The Cloaked Broccoli Ones To Hear him....

[Earl of Purple]

"A mercenary? Interesting. I think those could do with help, but they look like broccoli farmers. They might not have anything to pay you." The man will motion towards the dungarees-and-suit-jacket-wearing dark-skinned men. There's no cloaks involved, though; only the gnome has a cloak and that's purple with orange tassels.
___

"Good, because until after the broccoli harvest we're skint. There should be loot in the tower, though, if I understand how these things go." The speaker smiles. His eyes match his speech colour.

[Mindfreak]

Kathrine smiled inside her helm.
"Anything I find I'll give it to you, I already have everything I need in this world."

[Chezmarine]

"Saving Brocolli? LET'S ROCK!" Chez shouted, Pulling out a Ridicullously Massive Minigun out of His Pants....

It Weighed 150 lbs, Which Was Nothing For the Massive Wolf....

[Earl of Purple]

Could you please describe Chez? I don't know what he looks like, only that he's a he and has a glock. Also a minigun.

"Why, that's very kind of you, but please don't feel beholden." Also, the first adventurer has deadtimed.

[Chezmarine]

((He's A Large Wolf. Just Click This For Details.))

"So, Where is This Tower With The Broccoli?" He asked. "And do i get to kill things?"

[Mindfreak]

"Where is this tower? I hope there's a dragon."
She hasn't gotten to kill a dragon for a while...

[Earl of Purple]

"I'm sorry, but one of the people who will be accompanying you does not appear to be presently able to follow. When she is, we'll leave. We don't know if you'll get to kill things because we haven't been in the tower. In the meantime, why don't you get to know each other?" The guy's smiling nervously.