Hypothetical Drizzt Movie

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

If thhere were to be a Drizzt movie, what would be your ideal cast, and what book(s) would it be based on?


My Opinion ...
Book: Homeland.
Drizzt: Andrew Garfield.
Zaknafien: Hugh Jackman.
Malice: Teri Hatcher.
Vierna: Karen Gillain.
Maya: Dakota Fanning.
Briza: Rachel Nichols.
Rizzen Do'Urden: Stephen Lang.
Young Drizzt: Joel Courtney?

More coming soon ...

[Pokonic]

About time! Who is staring in ....Oh. Sorry.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

About time! Who is staring in ....Oh. Sorry.

After realizing that the title was misleading, I fixed it.

[Tengu_temp]

Drizzt - Christopher Walken

I'm serious. As already-released DND movies have shown, this one would be mediocre at best and most likely terrible. The fact that the source material is far from stellar doesn't help. With Walken, we'd at least get some entertainment out of it.

[Drizzt.Do'Urden]

With all honestly your right, though I would love to witness a Drizzt movie, it would probably be screwed over, because who wants to spend thousands of dollars to entertain a bunch of nerds.

[maximus25]

The people who made the first and second Dungeons and Dragons movies maybe? And I'm pretty sure they are making a third.

[Ravens_cry]

Ol' Driz struck me as as character who was a psychopath whose player decided to put Chaotic Good on their character sheet, especially in the Crystal Shard trilogy; he took way, way, to the power of way too much pleasure in killing other sentient beings, however evil they may have been.

[Soras Teva Gee]

Drizzt - Christopher Walken

I'm serious. As already-released DND movies have shown, this one would be mediocre at best and most likely terrible. The fact that the source material is far from stellar doesn't help. With Walken, we'd at least get some entertainment out of it.

But its Christopher Walken. Christopher. How can it be Christopher Walken if he's the main character? I can't follow this, how can I?

[Knaight]

Given that this movie would be bound to be a catastrophe - the books were mediocre at their best, and just bad for much of the time, though never truly awful - I'd say go for broke and try and get a cheesy, campy film that one enjoys despite them self, or enjoys ironically*, or some similar vein. It needs to be animated, and not particularly well. It needs to have poorly written dialog, and it needs to include Drizzt's terrible angst filled narrations. Moreover, it needs to be structured like a silent movie, with the angst filled narrations being on screens before relatively short bits of animation.

Then it needs absolutely stellar voice acting, as a counter point. Start with Christopher Walken as basically any older character. Alternately, just poach the entire Cowboy Bebop team.

*Admittedly, I'm not entirely sure what enjoying something ironically would constitute. Nor am I convinced that the concept of ironic enjoyment is as valid as its proponents suggest.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Given that this movie would be bound to be a catastrophe - the books were mediocre at their best, and just bad for much of the time, though never truly awful - I'd say go for broke and try and get a cheesy, campy film that one enjoys despite them self, or enjoys ironically*, or some similar vein. It needs to be animated, and not particularly well. It needs to have poorly written dialog, and it needs to include Drizzt's terrible angst filled narrations. Moreover, it needs to be structured like a silent movie, with the angst filled narrations being on screens before relatively short bits of animation.

Then it needs absolutely stellar voice acting, as a counter point. Start with Christopher Walken as basically any older character. Alternately, just poach the entire Cowboy Bebop team.

*Admittedly, I'm not entirely sure what enjoying something ironically would constitute. Nor am I convinced that the concept of ironic enjoyment is as valid as its proponents suggest.

The image of that movie sends chills down my spine. That is much better suited for Harry Potter than Drizzt.

[The Glyphstone]

Have Morgan Freeman do voiceover dialogue for every character, men and woman. The nonstop drone of his soothing voice might lull people to sleep so they forget what an awful movie they're watching.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Have Morgan Freeman do voiceover dialogue for every character, men and woman. The nonstop drone of his soothing voice might lull people to sleep so they forget what an awful movie they're watching.

I would simultaneously be chuckling with mirth and crying with despair.

[Fan]

Have Morgan Freeman do voiceover dialogue for every character, men and woman. The nonstop drone of his soothing voice might lull people to sleep so they forget what an awful movie they're watching.

If there are ever aliens, I want Morgan freeman to learn their language and speak to them as our emissary. =I

[Soras Teva Gee]

If there are ever aliens, I want Morgan freeman to learn their language and speak to them as our emissary. =I

Why do I feel like Peter Cullen would be even better?

(Frank Welker of course will already speak their language and teach either one)

[Athaniar]

If you mean just an Underdark/Menzoberranzan film (like your own example), I'm not entirely sure. Been a while since I read those books. As for Andrew Garfield as Drizzt, I have no idea, haven't seen him in anything (besides that Doctor Who two-parter). I'll have to wait until Spider-Man to judge. Jackman as Zaknafein would be pretty cool, though.

Of course, I'm not quite sure who to cast in an adaption of later books either, never been really good at this. Scarlet Johannsen as Catti-brie, maybe? *shrug*

But its Christopher Walken. Christopher. How can it be Christopher Walken if he's the main character? I can't follow this, how can I?

Well, he can always talk about the ice breaking.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

As for Andrew Garfield as Drizzt, I have no idea, haven't seen him in anything (besides that Doctor Who two-parter). I'll have to wait until Spider-Man to judge..

He was pretty awesome in The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus, which was better than its 7.0 rating.

Jackman as Zaknafein would be pretty cool, though.

He looks like he could be Andrew Garfield's father, too.

[bloodtide]

If thhere were to be a Drizzt movie, what would be your ideal cast, and what book(s) would it be based on.


My Opinion ...
Book: Homeland.
Drizzt: Andrew Garfield.
Zaknafien: Hugh Jackman.
Malice: Teri Hatcher.
Vierna: Karen Gillain.
Maya: Dakota Fanning.
Briza: Rachel Nichols.
Rizzen Do'Urden: Stephen Lang.
Young Drizzt: Joel Courtney?

More coming soon ...

*Andrew Garfield?!? He does not look the part to me. Does anyone else think that drow should be played by black actors(or other very dark skinned people)?

*Hugh Jackman?!? Does not fit. Morgan Freedman would fit this role though.. or Lawrence Fishborn

*Teri Hatcher? As Malice? Talk about a bad fit. You want the 'creepy old lady vibe here' such as Whoopi Goldberg.

*Karen Gillain as Vierna? Again not a good fit. How about Thandie Newton.

*Dakota Fanning as Maya?

*Rachel Nichols as Biza? Zoe Saldana would be perfect here!

*Wesley Snipes would do fine as a Do'duren brother
*Michale Dorn can play any random drow, or better a 'monster' type

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

*Andrew Garfield?!? He does not look the part to me. Does anyone else think that drow should be played by black actors(or other very dark skinned people)?

I don't. Dorw have black, not brown skin, and I was under the impression that they had fair features.

*Hugh Jackman?!? Does not fit. Morgan Freedman would fit this role though.. or Lawrence Fishborn

The former is way too old, and the ladder is just off.

*Teri Hatcher? As Malice? Talk about a bad fit. You want the 'creepy old lady vibe here' such as Whoopi Goldberg.

Actually, both the actors we proposed are too old. Homeland said that Malice was as young and beautiful looking as she was at age 100. Teri Hatcher was pretty creepy in Coraline, and I think she could pull Malice off.

*Karen Gillain as Vierna? Again not a good fit. How about Thandie Newton.

I don't see why not.

*Dakota Fanning as Maya?

Maybe she is a little young ...

*Rachel Nichols as Biza? Zoe Saldana would be perfect here!

Actually, good point.

[Hallavast]

*Andrew Garfield?!? He does not look the part to me. Does anyone else think that drow should be played by black actors(or other very dark skinned people)?

*Hugh Jackman?!? Does not fit. Morgan Freedman would fit this role though.. or Lawrence Fishborn

*Teri Hatcher? As Malice? Talk about a bad fit. You want the 'creepy old lady vibe here' such as Whoopi Goldberg.

*Karen Gillain as Vierna? Again not a good fit. How about Thandie Newton.

*Dakota Fanning as Maya?

*Rachel Nichols as Biza? Zoe Saldana would be perfect here!

*Wesley Snipes would do fine as a Do'duren brother
*Michale Dorn can play any random drow, or better a 'monster' type

i dont think the actors' race matters much. Make-up is pretty cool nowadays. Look at the Morlock king from time machine ('02). No, Jeremy Irons is not that pale!

I think the point the OP was emphasizing in his cast was that the drow are young looking, wicked, and beautiful. My guess is that looking at Malice, you shouldn't be able to tell that she might be any older than an adult drizzt. Same for Zak and the others. So while I don't think hugh jackman is a good fit (though he does look like an older Garfield), Whoopi Goldberg is out of the question. Freeman and Fishburne are too old. Freeman could narrate it of course, though. I think all the OP's female roles were great picks.

But all that aside, I'd like to echo the thought that this would make a horrible movie. The source material was a nice read when I was 14, but once you get past the themes that are now cliches, you really have a rather mediocre book. I don't care to see a film adaptation. Maybe a cartoon....

[Xondoure]

i dont think the actors' race matters much. Make-up is pretty cool nowadays. Look at the Morlock king from time machine ('02). No, Jeremy Irons is not that pale!

I think the point the OP was emphasizing in his cast was that the drow are young looking, wicked, and beautiful. My guess is that looking at Malice, you shouldn't be able to tell that she might be any older than an adult drizzt. Same for Zak and the others. So while I don't think hugh jackman is a good fit (though he does look like an older Garfield), Whoopi Goldberg is out of the question. Freeman and Fishburne are too old. Freeman could narrate it of course, though. I think all the OP's female roles were great picks.

But all that aside, I'd like to echo the thought that this would make a horrible movie. The source material was a nice read when I was 14, but once you get past the themes that are now cliches, you really have a rather mediocre book. I don't care to see a film adaptation. Maybe a cartoon....

The problem is getting the public to understand that its not blackface. And honestly, that would be impossible because it is. So yeah, I'd argue not to make the movie unless you could get a convincing black cast.

[Athaniar]

That's a really odd view. Black people aren't literally black-skinned. Drow are. I don't really see the connection. If anything, it gives unfortunate implications to cast mainly black actors as drow.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

If the movie wasn't going to be based on Homeland, some of my casting decisions would be ...

Jarlaxle: Vincent Caso (although he might be too young).
Catti-Brie: Evanna Lynch. It would have to be Evenna Lynch. It just would.
Wulfgar: Chris Hemsworth. He was epic as Thor.
Bruenor: Ken Scott.

[Ravens_cry]

The problem is getting the public to understand that its not blackface. And honestly, that would be impossible because it is. So yeah, I'd argue not to make the movie unless you could get a convincing black cast.

Drow are not "black", as in a dark brown melanin, but black like black.
It's probably not too big an issue unless someone decided to make it one. Almost all Klingons, who were a dark brown, were actually in makeup.
And I don't just mean the ridges.

[Xondoure]

Drow are not "black", as in a dark brown melanin, but black like black.
It's probably not too big an issue unless someone decided to make it one. Almost all Klingons, who were a dark brown, were actually in makeup.
And I don't just mean the ridges.

That being fairly strong precendent, I will concede the point. I tend to have very little faith in these things as to what the media will and will not make a huge deal out of.

[Hallavast]

That being fairly strong precendent, I will concede the point. I tend to have very little faith in these things as to what the media will and will not make a huge deal out of.

I know the bias you speak of. I also have little faith. But that should have no bearing in a discussion over a project that most can agree would be an utter disaster in practice .

As I see it, this thread is about who in real life could best portray this set of fictional characters.

The best possible take on it as an actual movie that I could imagine is that:

1) It must be animated. The surely low budget would require this outright.

2) It must be a comedy. Or perhaps even a farce (like Blazing Saddles). Any attempt to ask adults to take such an animated book adaptation seriously will end in failure. And frankly, parodies of Drizzt clones are far more entertaining than the actual character in recent times. It would be cute to see Drizzt as his own parody clone. Not to mention comedic characters like Regis, Bruenor, Ivan and Pikel, Thimbledorf Pwent, the Harpels, ect... Come to think of it, Salvatore does comedy better than he does action/drama in all honesty.

[BiblioRook]

Salvatore does comedy better than he does action/drama in all honesty.

Salvatore comes by here about once a year and even though I don't really read his books anymore I do like going seeing him at signings as he's a fun guy. If you would believe what he says when he talks about his books it's almost like trying to sneak jokes was almost all he was trying to do and it was more his editors that made him tone it back to something more serious.

[Hallavast]

Salvatore comes by here about once a year and even though I don't really read his books anymore I do like going seeing him at signings as he's a fun guy. If you would believe what he says when he talks about his books it's almost like trying to sneak jokes was almost all he was trying to do and it was more his editors that made him tone it back to something more serious.

That's an interesting nugget of information there. I wonder how he would have compared to someone like Pratchet if he'd had his way...

[Darthteej]

The thing about Homeland is that it was only interesting because of the drow. Drizzt's character is solid only in the context of the utterly depraved society around him, without it, he becomes any other D&D hero. I think the only real chance a movie based on him has to be good is to realize this. It needs a writer at the helm who's going to realize what drew people to Homeland most, and who resists the urge to portray the people around Drizzt as 2-D villians who do things because they're evil.

And while I'm at it, I also want a million dollars and a supermodel wife or husband.

[Ravens_cry]

Well, there has been good, even excellent film based on bad books.
The novel Ben Hur was based on has been described as "the worst novel ever", and The Godfather, well, I've read it. It's fun in a pulpy way, but the movie wisely cuts some scenes and plotlines and does the ones it keeps much better. A Drizzt movie could work if that standard holds.

[Darthteej]

Well, there has been good, even excellent film based on bad books.
The novel Ben Hur was based on has been described as "the worst novel ever", and The Godfather, well, I've read it. It's fun in a pulpy way, but the movie wisely cuts some scenes and plotlines and does the ones it keeps much better. A Drizzt movie could work if that standard holds.

Thing is, I did like Homeland, but it was strong because of the drow, not Drizzt. Soujourn was also pretty good, and the rest were okay.