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Thread: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
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2012-05-09, 07:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Wow, that was... unexpected.
And that gives me something new to add to my list of Illven-induced distrubing images.
SpoilerIllven with a Luvdisc's mouth between his legs
Illven with a Gardevior between his legs
Illven on top of an Altaria
Melinda and a Gardevior
Melinda and a Machamp
Melinda and just about every girl in Kanto
And now Melinda and Gary.LPs that I like to think I will get back to some day.
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2012-05-09, 07:28 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
I told you Melinda with emotions was hard. At first I was going to have be more upset, but that didn't work, then I was going to have pretend to be unaffected which was unrealistic. So i had her trying and failing to repress those emotions.
And you're welcome for the imagesAvatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-09, 07:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
How many ranks did you take in Craft (disturbing mental image)?
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2012-05-09, 07:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Last edited by Illven; 2012-05-09 at 07:51 PM.
Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-09, 07:55 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
That was more easily glossed over. Nor did your renewed attempt work.
WOOT! NAT 20!LPs that I like to think I will get back to some day.
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2012-05-09, 08:00 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-09, 08:14 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Jango is actually a really interesting case for a moral examination. On one hand she was taken under false pretences, although Melinda eventually made good on them. I think that they're at a point where they could become good friends, but they have hated each other for so long that neither wants to suggest stopping for fear of appearing weak to the other. Its really just spite and ego right now, as opposed to a recurring issue. They've pretty much taken turns angering the other and being angered in return. Let me see if I can come up with a pair that did something like that... maybe not. But it strikes me as they would rather stay with their familiar rage at each other than to humble herself before the other and suggest that they stop. After all, its usually the one who's loosing who sues for peace, and both of them seem to either be convinced that she is winning, or feels that she is loosing, and cannot afford to loose face before her "opponent". In the end, I don't think that Jango is "justified" per se, as I personally don't think that vengance is really the best option, but I can see where she's comming from. (Long post is long)
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2012-05-09, 08:39 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Well there's also the question of. Did Melinda intend to find a way to feed Jango or did it just kinda happen?
If Melinda really wanted to find a way to feed Jango then it would be if the ends justified the means. (In this case does kidnapping justify allowing the kidnappe to not starve to death.)
But if it just kinda happened, then how justified is Melinda in claiming credit for teaching Jango to eat?
There's also no guarantee that Jango would have starved without her. Jango could have been caught by anyone else.
However so far Melinda is the only one that has apologized.Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-09, 08:47 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
I didn't say Melinda was justified, and really, neither of them is justified in their actions. It looks to me like they are just holding onto their bitterness because they each think that the other has wronged her, and there is no way that she is going to let that bitch come out the winner. Melinda has apologised for physically harming Jango, showing that even she has remorse, but she has yet to apologise for her actions as a whole. She essentally said "Yes, I went too far there, but I still hate your guts."
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2012-05-09, 09:02 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
I notice Illven's talking in this chapter.
I'll stay out of the Jango conversation...
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2012-05-09, 09:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Aww... Y U NO JOIN?
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2012-05-09, 09:16 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
'Cause I like Jango, and not Melinda so much.
That, and I don't like arguments with Illven.
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2012-05-09, 09:18 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
I'm not arguing. I'm conversing, and perhaps debating somewhat, but never did it enter my mind that we were arguing.
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2012-05-09, 09:20 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
I call it argument because I'd rather "argue" than "discuss" or "debate."
It's just my classification of it.
(Mainly 'cause of the argument sketch... blame the Pythons)
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2012-05-09, 09:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Wait. Since when can you use B word on the forum. I could have sworn that it was blocked. (I remember an argument that Rich had used it in the comic and people were arguing that they couldn't. Maybe I'm misremembering. )
I fixed it.
I don't get the reference.Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-09, 09:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Yeah, it surprised me, too. Maybe it could tell that I was only using it to drice the point home.
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2012-05-09, 09:50 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-09, 11:48 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Illven must have spent a lot of time asking himself where he went wrong. I mean that this one is so much... humorously darker I guess, than Can We All Survive. You do the same good job when writing deeper emotion, but the story as a whole somewhat resembles a creepypasta in its morbid casual injection of rampant death into a kid's game. Personally, I like my dark stories with a side of life lesson, not just a continual gorefest (a large part of why I never got into the zombie craze). Don't get me wrong, I'm enjoying it, it's just that you seem to be overly focused on "play" and death, as opposed to the deeper story. Can We All Survive went downhill during the grinding for the elite 4 in this manner as well, because you took "play" (even just calling it that is irksome to me), and just turned it into a cheap recurring gag. If there had just been some form of underlying tension, like there was between Illven and May, it would have made a compelling plot point. However, you have permeated it to the point where I want to roll my eyes every time a ditto shows up.
I can live with one or maybe even two testosterone/androgen-fuled characters, but when Melinda is accused of being a lesbian every chapter, it looses any sense of humor it had the first time or two and, to me, just becomes something I want to shake my head at, because it almost seems like you don't know what to write to keep the story moving, so you try to distract the reader with hormones.
Yeah, I'm probably sounding harsh, but what I mean is that if you take a look at my nuzlocke, there is at least tension on Michael's part, but I'm not playing it up for humor. Instead, I'm holding onto it, investing in what I can do with it later. If I wait until I start making jokes with that, I think that it will be funnier, as I personally find that somebody trying hard to hold back feelings before he ends up shoving his foot down his throat to be more amusing than the guy who does so right off the bat.
Melinda's crush also struck me as kind of shallow, with no real setup in earlier encounters with Gary. Yes, it was an honest attempt at character development, but there was nothing the reader could go back to and see where this came from, leading me to think that this was concieved rather recently, as opposed to being in your mind from the start. Yes, I know one can't expect everything that ends up being written in a nuzlocke, but I had almost all the major plot details of mine (and a good amount of the sequel--assuming I ever get there) decided within a few days of starting. Let me use Azorath as an example then. In victory road, she suggested that Illven teach her flash, with obvious innuendo. What made this funny was that there had always been this subtle implication that each of them had cross-group breeding in the back of their minds, and in that moment, it was all unleased like a coiled spring. With the situations in Blazing Hate, however, there is no buildup, the characters just jump in, and the humor is that much weaker for it.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that any story, once again, in my opinion, should teach a lesson. There should be some recurring element in the story that, even (or especally) if it is not obvious, the characters deal with or that the moral of the story is. From Star Wars' themes of hope, trust, and eventual triumph of good to Can We All Survive's tones of friendship and dealing with loss, they have an underlying point to the story, a message the writer was trying to convey. But Blazing Hate seems lost, a series of jokes of increasingly lesser comic effect.
Can We All Survive was a hillarious story, constantly bubbling with over and underreactions and overly blunt statements (courtesy of a certain Swampert), there was still this vibe of the bond between the characters, the friendship between Illven and Memetic that kept Illven from simply ordering him to shut the hell up, and put up with his trolling. In Blazing Hate, there is no bond, no tie, nothing to ground the humor in, and it becomes just a mess of dark humor that is slowly breaking down into what I fear could be just a long, dark tunnel of horror and smekxy humor that long ago lost its ability to garner a laugh.
I know I described Melinda's crush as shallow, but nontheless, it is moments like these that keep me comming here. What I hope is that a platform can be built upon which the rest of the story (including the jokes) can exist, as opposed to being just a series of lesbian jokes followed by a series of two people verbally tearing each other apart, and back to the lesbian jokes.
In short, what I would like to see out of this story is:
De-emphasis on "play" humor (just comes across as cheap by now.)
More character development (as right now the characters can probably be best described as static stereotypes of: evil manipulator (Melinda), innocent exploitee (Bolliante), ingrate/foil (Jango), exploitable drug addict (Thumbs), pitiful victm (Sunspot), morally blind servant (Jack), and horny guy (Haddock). It just keeps making the same jokes over and over, the only change being their increased sadism, which does not equal humor or good storytelling.)
Building up humor, as opposed to just taking all potential jokes and using them right away (as then the joke has a greater effect.)
Some sort of point to the story, rather than sounding something like the ramblings of a serial killer/rapist in a mental ward (yes, it sometimes feels like the mind that came up with this should be institutionalised.)
By all means, keep it as dark and disturbing as you like, but add some sort of frame for the story, something that makes the humor make sense in the world, rather than just a cobbled-together collection of innuendo and rage.
Wow, that turned into one heck of a rant. Sorry about the length there. Don't worry, I'm still reading, I just feel that this story falls far short of what it could be. This nuzlocke could be a story for the ages, worthy of being recorded and passed down till the end of time like, in my opinion again, Can We All Survive is. But unless you turn this into more than just a series of brutal killings and lesbian jokes, I fear that it will degenerate into some abomination of pointless idiocy that it will be lost in the eternal trash heap that is the forgotten graveyard of stories that failed to live up to what they could have been.LPs that I like to think I will get back to some day.
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2012-05-10, 12:21 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Okay I can understand that. To be fair to Illven, Melinda's been getting worse over the course of the story, presumably she was just kinda unempathic before the game, and Illven has no idea what's going on before.
At that I'm just taken what the story gives me, it's hardly my fault that alot of people sprout inneduo.
And yet at the same time I'd need a reason as to why such a guy is so reserved with his feelings. (i.e Trust issues, Reason to fear rejection) At which point the story becomes more about overcoming that.
I did try to set it up. Maybe not well, but in the first chapter Melinda was disappointed that Gary went to the lab without her for instance. I tried not to make it too obvious, I guess I did it too much.
Okay I can understand that.
Melinda and Biollante do have a bond though, it may be the only bond, but it's still there.
Okay, well I was planning a equivalent of Tales of Lilycove city after Sabrina and the grinding, so I can at least lay the seeds there at the latest.
Okay I can do that for all but Fluff (Who does not need to be voted for.)
Biollante's never really been exploited though. I think I know what you mean though. And Haddock at least thinks he's in love with Melinda, if he's not actually in love with her.
Okay, I can do that.
Okay, I'll put some more substance in the story.
(The difference between this and real life, is I can control myself.)
Okay, that's fair.
It's fine you wouldn't write such a long response if you didn't care.Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-10, 01:09 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Thanks for taking the time to respond in-depth like that, rather than some people I've come across who just go "whatever" when a wall of text shows up in their thread.
At that I'm just taken what the story gives me, it's hardly my fault that alot of people sprout inneduo.
And yet at the same time I'd need a reason as to why such a guy is so reserved with his feelings. (i.e Trust issues, Reason to fear rejection) At which point the story becomes more about overcoming that.
I did try to set it up. Maybe not well, but in the first chapter Melinda was disappointed that Gary went to the lab without her for instance. I tried not to make it too obvious, I guess I did it too much.
Melinda and Biollante do have a bond though, it may be the only bond, but it's still there.
Biollante's never really been exploited though. I think I know what you mean though. And Haddock at least thinks he's in love with Melinda, if he's not actually in love with her.
Okay, well I was planning a equivalent of Tales of Lilycove city after Sabrina and the grinding, so I can at least lay the seeds there at the latest.
Okay I can do that for all but Fluff (Who does not need to be voted for.)
(The difference between this and real life, is I can control myself.)
It's fine you wouldn't write such a long response if you didn't care.
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2012-05-10, 01:36 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Well you have legimate complaints and I should do what I can to fix them. Art fails if the intended reader or readers get a completely wrong message.
Okay, so show Haddock not being perverted, and make a point of showing some guys and girls explicitly not attracted to Melinda.
So if I want to keep the same level of drama and comedy at least vary the jokes?
Well I tried showing Melinda's thoughts in the beginning. But it just didn't fit with her, she's not an open person. She's always looking for an angle or remaining guarded with her feelings. I felt that would be lost if I told you what she was thinking
I know what you're saying, but did Nino ever really do anything horrible.
I got the inspiration from Tales of Ba-sing-se in Avatar the last airbender.
Honestly to me, in a way it's less creepy. Think about it everyone uses Ditto for the production of eggs. Sometimes lots of eggs. If the ditto were like a normal person/pokemon, 9 times out of 10 you are probably having the other pokemon force itself on the ditto. At least this way the dittos like it.
Beautiful, and terrifying and I wouldn't want it any-other way.
Okay thank you.
Okay so you know my affinity, what's yours.Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-10, 09:57 AM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Light (Which kinda explains everything.)
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2012-05-10, 06:11 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Okay, now that I have the time to do a full response:
Okay, so show Haddock not being perverted, and make a point of showing some guys and girls explicitly not attracted to Melinda.
So if I want to keep the same level of drama and comedy at least vary the jokes?
Well I tried showing Melinda's thoughts in the beginning. But it just didn't fit with her, she's not an open person. She's always looking for an angle or remaining guarded with her feelings. I felt that would be lost if I told you what she was thinking
I know what you're saying, but did Nino ever really do anything horrible.
Honestly to me, in a way it's less creepy. Think about it everyone uses Ditto for the production of eggs. Sometimes lots of eggs. If the ditto were like a normal person/pokemon, 9 times out of 10 you are probably having the other pokemon force itself on the ditto. At least this way the dittos like it.LPs that I like to think I will get back to some day.
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2012-05-10, 07:26 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Okay
I understand.
Okay. It helps that she has a mind reader so if I really need to show her thoughts I can have Jango say them.
Nino's illiterate though, Sonia didn't teach her anything, Nino spied on Sonia, and learned how to say the chants and memorized that.
Well if everyone uses the dittos for that, then they might as well like it.Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-10, 08:32 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Nino's illiterate though, Sonia didn't teach her anything, Nino spied on Sonia, and learned how to say the chants and memorized that.
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2012-05-10, 08:51 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-10, 09:23 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Being Magically gifted is part of the D&D system, with spirits depending on campaign setting.
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2012-05-10, 09:24 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
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2012-05-10, 09:30 PM (ISO 8601)
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Re: Blazing hate A fire red nuzlocke
Avatar by Honest Tiefling
Won as Good Mayans on a science victory GMR 4. Won as Sweden on a science victory GMR 7. Won as Desert England on a concession victory GMR 8 Lost as Poland in GMR 3. Lost as Japan in GMR 5, Surrendered as Korea in GMR 10. Surrendered as Bad Maya in GMR 11, Lost as Shoshone in GMR 13.
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2012-05-10, 09:36 PM (ISO 8601)
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