Incarnations of Immortality IC: GodsWar

[Anecronwashere]

Asgard

Truesdale looks at the board and laughs.
"How did you become God of Stategy and all that?"
He touches a piece on the 7th board, the Time-Displacement Board and sends it and it's companions back, completing the stratagem and ending the check, placing a ring of castles around the opposing King
"checkmate. And I was referring to both the Massacre of Domin-Kas and the raising of the entire Plane of Wights. Though I guess the Death of Ares and the invasion of Orcus' palace count too."

[JKTrickster]

Okay sorry for this late post. Here is what Anduilas does in response to Paranoia's attacks:

He uses 6 rerolls each to make each of Paranoia's First Full Attack into Natural 1's. This gives him a further +60 to AC, hopefully making him untouchable from now on. But from what I know, that's probably impossible.

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Luck rerolls: 2899 Regular
Glory Points: 49
Improvisation: 270
Fate Points: 6

Blessing Points: 30
AC Bonus: +111
Avalanche Bonus: +2 bonus to Saves
+7 bonus to Attack

Maneuvers

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Covering Strike
White Raven Hammer

Anduilas raised his blades again as Paranoia rained down upon him. Blow after blow, Anduilas parried Paranoia's attacks, but it was only getting harder and harder for him. Anduilas knew that this was not going to be a short battle, but he did not have the luxury of time on his side. Each moment he delayed, Iridia was in more and more danger and Paranoia would eventually realize his trick.

As Paranoia finally stopped attacking, Anduilas slowly lowered his blades. His body literally gave off steam from the sheer friction of their attacks and parrys. It was amazingly lucky that Anduilas was not harmed at all. Looking around, he gripped his blades tightly. The battle could not go on like this. They were doing nothing but trading superficial blows that never seemed to end. He needed something more...

Looking around, he realized that what he needed was right in front of him. Smiling, he examined the great clockwork fortress - he had no idea what it was or how to use it, but the idea made him grin. Why not? After all, it wasn't as if he was going to risk anything. And if he failed, he was sure he could cause enough havoc inside.

"Paranoia I must say, you have the most terrible choice for words. At least you know how to rock a good fortress though! Would have been sad if you couldn't boast AND you couldn't ride in style. But I don't think it fits you. It deserves someone with more.....flair."

Suddenly Anduilas twirled his blade around Paranoia's torso. Yanking his arm back quickly, he threw the Incarnation over the side. "Oops" he said as he ran at the Fortress. Hopefully before Paranoia could even react, Anduilas would have long made his way within.

So Anduilas uses a Standard Action to use his Clumsy Foe technique. If Paranoia fails his Will Save, Anduilas gets to place him in any square adjacent to him. Since Anduilas is so big, I figure there is a space somewhere in mid way over the bridge.

Then Anduilas rushes the tower. He will burn uses of the Belt of Battle to ensure he can get inside within this turn, as many as needed. I imagine nothing more than 2 charges for an addtional Standard Action to his Move Action.

Attack roll for Will Save DC
[roll]d20+220[/rol]

EDIT: Result was a 15 - Critical Threat - so No save, auto works.

[Sneaky Weasel]

Asgard:

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Tyr stares at the board with an annoyed expression. "Wait a minute...no, I can move here. Oh wait, that doesn't work...damn it." He glares at the board, and then dismisses it from his mind. He raises an eyebrow at Truesdale's information.
"The wights I am aware of, but they pose little threat. Their leader is a mere dragon, of minor importance. But you say Ares is dead? How is it that I did not sense this?" He seems somewhat troubled by the news. A hacked off limb flies over his head, but he takes no notice. Such things are commonplace in Asgard.

Mechanus:

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A look of frustration passes over Paranoia's face as you evade his storm of attacks. He readies his blades for another assault when your weapon wraps around him and sends him flying through the air, tumbling off the side of the bridge. While he is distracted, you run across the bridge, your feat pounding on the metallic surface. Within seconds you are at the gates, slipping through them with ease.

Beyond the gates lies a vast room, hundreds of feat across. A steel catwalk serves as the floor, extending out from the gate and branching off in many directions. Huge pistons pump up and down, powering the fortress, and intricate layers of clockwork grind together on all sides. Jets of steam emerge from holes on the wall, and beneath the catwalk the room extends into darkness. An eerie ticking sound hangs over all, giving the impression that you are inside a gigantic clock.

There are several doors arrayed around the room, the catwalk extending up or down to the various layers. You are forced to duck as a huge pendulum slices the air above your head, and it occurs to you that a smaller size may be helpful if you wish to navigate the room. However, the main thing that catches your attention is the room's inhabitants.

Inevitables fill the room, operating the machinery and hurrying to and fro across the catwalk. They resemble the various regular types of Inevitables, but twisted into horrible parodies of themselves. They have unevan, elongated limbs, some stretching to the floor, others stubby and useless. Their bodies are misshapen, mimicking human traits such as hunchbacks and twisted spines. Their heads are distended, the metal warped, and all the machinery operating within their craniums are removed, leaving gaping holes in their skulls. A strange blueish mist fills the empty heads of these twisted Inevitables, animating them to serve Paranoia's needs. As you enter the room they turn and stare at you as one, their glowing eye sockets looking you over with a complete lack of emotion. Paranoia himself has not followed you for the time being, giving you a chance to act unimpeded.

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The space between you and the gate is around four hundred feet, so the number of charges spent would depend on your speed, which is likely pretty fast. Just calculate how many you would need and subtract them.

[Anecronwashere]

Asgard:

"I really need a better information disperser. it's almost like Odin wants all you weak Gods to be in the dark. maybe Thor has the right of it in planning defences against him, though knowing him and odin it will probably escalate from defence to offense quickly.
Still, it's probably better with Thor in charge, he doesn't really have the guile to conceal or have a hidden agenda unknown for long."
Truesdale lifts his legs up, suspended on an invisible couch of air.
He smirks as you dismiss the Wights
"Everything has importance, and everything is unimportant. Oh, are you going to respond to that?"

Truesdale points at the summons to Odin's throneroom that had appeared while he was scrutinizing the board.
"Ta-ta." he says goodbye before creating a loud bang, a cloud of smoke and shimmering out.

Odin's Hall:

The succubi leaves a second before the first God arrives, a tiny invisible (Hide in the Light) Fairy/Anon hovers right above the centre, surveying her work as the torture instruments remain visible, even as the other Gods arrive at the scene.

[legomaster00156]

Korug raised an eyebrow as a magnificent display of power went on 45 feet away from him. He sighed.
"Honestly, Orcus. I had hoped you would at least be wiser than that," he commented. "Your mind is breaking. I suppose it's time to put you out of your misery."
He began another full round of attacks.

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Attack rolls:
(1d20+62)[20](82)
(1d20+62)[2](64)
(1d20+62)[1](63)
(1d20+60)[7](67)
(1d20+58)[5](63)
(1d20+56)[15](71)

Damage rolls:
(6d6+28)[2][3][4][3][6][4](50)
(6d6+28)[4][3][5][3][2][5](50)
(6d6+28)[6][6][5][1][3][5](54)
(6d6+28)[1][5][6][1][6][6](53)
(6d6+28)[6][4][4][2][2][3](49)
(6d6+28)[3][5][3][5][6][3](53)

[Avalon®]

Seeing his beast come charging at him, Viserys splits into a wolfish grin. "The ones that fight back are always the best."

The savage blows deal quite some damage but most of it was absorbed by his metal skin. The blows hardly fazes the Incarnate of Dreams, what most of the dream beast's attacks did was to bring it closer to his grasp. He responds with a flurry of blows that ends a forward and backhanded slap.

"YOU are forgetting your place youngling!"*smack* "I brought" *smack* "YOU" *smack* "into in this realm," *smack* "it is only natural that you should obey me!" *smack*

OOC:

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Yes. Basically I'm b*tchslapping the ToS with my barehands. I want to see how I do in a bare-bones situation.

Attacks:

(1d20+117)[124]
(1d20+114)[123]
(1d20+111)[121]
(1d20+108)[109]
(1d20+105)[121]

Damage:

(4d6+150)[163]
(4d6+153)[165]
(4d6+156)[166]
(4d6+159)[164]
(4d6+162)[174]

[Sneaky Weasel]

Abyss:

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You ignore Orcus's attack and whip your chain around, smashing him again and again, six blows ripping into him with brutal force. He staggers as the first attack hits him, the second and third send him stumbling backwards, and the remaining three drive him to his knees. His wands falls from his limp hand, and blood flows freely from his many wounds. The Prince's eyes are dull as he stares up at your triumphant visage. The once mighty Orcus, Demon Prince of the Undead, is defeated.
Somehow he clings on to life despite his injuries, swaying back and forth as you approach. He closes his eyes, preparing for the final blow.
"You've beaten me. You have true power. Don't waste it. The one who beats me should rule the multiverse." He coughs, blood dripping from the corners of his mouth. "Don't let Graz'zt fool you into serving him. You must rule this world, Immortal. You deserve no less." He bows his head, his life ebbing away as he speaks.

Odin's Hall:

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The Gallows God sits up from his throne, glaring at the succubi that has materialized in his Hall. His consternation increases as it redecorates the Hall as a torture chamber, and the first of the other Gods appears before his throne. One by one, the rest of his Pantheon enters the room, glaring around and shuffling their feet. Thor is the last to appear, popping in with a throaty growl.
"Why have you called me, Father? Finally going to tell me what's going on here, maybe?" His brow creases in confusion as he notices the changes made in the room.
"It seems Chaos has been perpetrating his trickery once more. I will not have it." Odin gestures with one hand, and the room is restored to normal. He glances over at Anon, not fooled by his attempt at concealment.
"Chaos, do not tempt me or my fellow Gods. We are not fools to be made a mockery of, and your antics reflect poorly on someone of your station."
"I demand to know what is going on here. Why have you summoned us to your hall?" The speaker is Aegir, God of the Ocean. He appears as a massive, dark skinned man holding a trident from the waist up, and a mass of wriggling tentacles and fins from the waist down.
"It was not Odin who summoned you here, but Chaos. You are revealed, Trickster! Show yourself!" Frigga, Queen of the Gods, steps forward. Her eyes narrow in rage, and her voice is icy as she glares at the hidden Incarnation.

The Garden of the Lost:

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The beast shudders as your fists slam into it, but it is unnaturally powerful. Even these mighty attacks are mere annoyances to a nightmare made flesh. At last, it has a worthy opponent. It revels in the thrill of combat, saliva running from it's toothy mouth, it's claws tearing at your metallic flesh. It lunges at you with it's mighty jaws, attempting to get a hold on you and swallow you whole. It lashes at you with it's horns and tail all the while as it pulls you into it's maw.

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Damage:
Bite(8d8+49)[76]
Claws (3d8+34)[47] (3d8+34)[42]
Horns (2d8+34)[45] (2d8+34)[42]
Sting (6d8+39)[65] plus Poison DC 99 Fortitude save of take (3d8)[15] Constitution Damage.

In addition, if it hits with it's bite it starts a Grapple, provoking no attack of opportunity. If it succeeds, it has a hold on you, and instantly starts another Grapple check. If ti succeeds on the second one, it swallows you whole.

Grapples: (1d20+170)[185], (1d20+170)[183]

[legomaster00156]

"Rest well, worthy opponent, but don't dare let me see your face alive again," Korug muttered, walking over to Orcus' side.
He bent down, and picked up the Wand by the handle, while his blood-soaked chain wrapped around his arm. He himself had absolutely no battle scars. He then smiled, and walked off in search of Orcus' treasure. He could always use some extra gold in preparing his army, and undoubtedly there would be a fair number of items, as well.

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Time to find the loot. Korug is probably the only PC who's interested in that. And, uh, if you could include a few large Bags of Holding in the treasure to carry it, that would be nice.

[Anecronwashere]

Korug's Waist

The longsword morphs into a bag with a mouth replacing the opening
"Nomnomnom, I'm hungry. Where's the loot."

OOC: You don't need any more extra-dimensional storage that isn't me.

[JKTrickster]

Anduilas twirled around in the air, becoming smaller and smaller. Soon he was barely a foot tall, a bare shadow of his great size just moments ago. Zooming and zipping around the constructs, he smiled. This drastic change in size was not something most people knew he could do. Anduilas had taken a great care to keep his small size a secret. As he flew around the constructs, he stopped by one of them.

"Psst," he whispered into its ear. "Don't worry about me. Just your little friend here." he said as he whispered soft soothing words into the Inevitable's ear. "Your friend is lost. Show him the way to the control room. Don't worry, it's just so he could find out how to leave. It'll be fine."


Anduilas is now Tiny size, as per a natural Petal. Basically he turned off his Belt of Giant Size. He also spent two of his charges to make a Full Round Action Run to the door. That should be enough!

Now for the interesting part. Anduilas flies over to one of the Inevitables and uses Diplomacy. I have a.....+151 bonus to it.

Funny thing is? The DC to make a Hostile character Fanatic is only 150.

Oh well

That was easy

[Sneaky Weasel]

Abyss:

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You begin to search the Palace for treasure, and it occurs to you that the other doors besides the one that stored his Armor may have treasure in them. But then you remember something rather important. Namely, the Palace is in the process of collapsing. Even as Anon prepares to swallow whatever you find, a huge block of stone smashes down behind you, sending up a cloud of dust that obscures your vision. It might still be possible to conduct a quick search, but the risk of being buried in rubble is still there.

Mechanus:

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The twisted Inevitables lose interest in you as you shrink, going back to tending the machines. The one you have flown up to stares at you blankly, it's empty head turned to one side as it listens. The words of Luck are able to make even as horrible a creature as this into an ally, and it beckons with one bloated finger before hobbling off further into the Fortress. It moves over to one of the lower doors, a blank sheet of steel with no handle or hinges, and taps on it in a complex rhythm. The door opens to either side with a whirring noise, and the Inevitable beckons towards you once more to follow it.
Strangely enough, there is still no sign of Paranoia, and you are unhindered by the other drones. You can hear the muffled sounds of battle from outside, but the ticking of the Gears within makes it difficult to tell what is going on.

[Anecronwashere]

Odin's hall

"Aaw you didn't like my surprise party? I had cake and everything." the suddenly visible elf girl lounged on a sofa
"I reckon I can decide what's 'fitting for my station' considering I'll outlive you all. Then your descendants, just like I did your ancestors.
Besides, what are you going to do to stop me? I gain power whenever a contract is broken, and I have every possible sanction against me tied up in red tape for a thousand years."
Several piles of paperwork, bound up in red tape appear hovering above Odin's head, before the tape vanishes dumping millions of pages onto the God.
Anon is suddenly a pixie in Aegir's hair, swimming in the hair as if it was liquid.

"As for why I summoned you here, why it's for an accounting. Specifically that of the paper mountain over there. Well, the being under it. I Anon Yoderick Mouse, King of Jekla and Incarnation of Chaos name thee Odin Allfather, Liar and Traitor to the Pantheon of the Norse."

A masive dragon wearing gold reading glasses scrutinizes a massive piece of parchment, that unrolls several dozen feet. Several similar parchments also appear, each one listing the subterfuge, information withheld and hidden agendas of Odin over the Eons
The second everyone has finished looking at the pile of paper it all vanishes.


Chaos is suddenly gone, before appearing in the nearest glass window, drawing pictures with a claw and filling it with a lion tail paintbrush. The pictures are either lewd about anything or humiliating things about Odin.
"I could run this Pantheon better Odin, and you know how my brief foray into godhood turned out." Everyone except Chaos shudders at that memory


the Sword in the Stone is suddenly in front of Odin, a voice echoes from someplace.
"I saw we devise a most fitting test. Whoever uses this object as a unique weapon the most intuitively, wins." Several target Golems materializes looking around dumbly

OOC: Note that just pulling the sword out would be a fail, despite seeming the obvious choice

"Wait I'm missing something. Aha!"
In front of every God is a podium with a switch, the 2 settings being "New Ruler" and "Old Ruler"
"I need about 1/2 the people voting for a new ruler to give the boot to Goadin over here."

There are also several extra podiums (~40% of the Gods in extra podiums) with the setting on New Ruler with the names of the Pantheon before the Norse.

[legomaster00156]

Korug grinned as the palace began to collapse. He wasn't particularly frightened by the prospect of being buried - it was hardly something that could kill him - but he realized that he didn't exactly have the time to go digging through rubble afterwards for a few gold pieces. He'd have to take a shortcut to claim as much as he could before it collapsed.
"Anon, you never cease to amaze me," he told the bag beside him.
He opened it's mouth far beyond what any realistic bag should be capable of, and ran it along the length of Orcus' regenerating exoskeletal armor. It engulfed the armor completely, and Korug immediately turned his mind to other matters. He began to hop between rooms in a matter of seconds, taking only whatever seemed to be most valuable: magic items and large gemstones. He was prepared to shift out at a second's notice, should the castle begin to collapse completely.

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Dimension Door to hop between rooms, and take whatever items seem most valuable. Note my 100' fly speed. I'm zooming from item to item as quickly as reasonably possible. If the castle begins to completely collapse, I Plane Shift back to Ivory Marrow with my loot. I will need an exact account of what I claimed before having to escape (that is, the general descriptions, at least).

[JKTrickster]

Looking outside, Anduilas wondered what was happening. Shaking his head of those thoughts, he quickly made a beeline for the door. He had to seize control of the ship immediately. He couldn't let his indecisiveness ruin this chance. Silently, he made a prayer for Iridia. She was strong, but she could not fight Paranoia. He hoped she was smart enough to realize that.

As he was about the answer the door, he suddenly had a marvelous idea. Turning to the rest of the Inevitables, he shouted out in his greatest voice possible. He took a great deep breath of air, emphasizing each and every single one of his words. "Inevitables! Throw off your shackles! Grasp your destiny! Restore Order as you know it! Go! Go out and show Paranoia what order truly means! Show him your might! You have nothing to fear, for you have Anduilas the Lucky One on your side!"

So let's say I start using Diplomacy to tell everyone who can hear me to rush outside and to fly at Paranoia. They won't do anything but I have a feeling Paranoia is planning something most wicked.

[Sneaky Weasel]

Mechanus:

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As you speak, the Inevitable drones turn to stare at you, their empty eyes looking you over emotionlessly. They remain silent, and they appear to be weighing up your words.
Then, as one, they begin to crawl, hop and lurch towards the main Gate, their feet clattering on the catwalk. They ready what weapons they have, energy crackling over their limbs and blades unfolding from their arms. How dare Paranoia debase and twist them like this? They will make him pay.
The only one that does not follow them is the one who led you to the door. It starts to follow them, but then pauses and moves back to the door, intent on showing you the way. It gestures again for you to go through.

Abyss:

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Through the first door is a large pedestal, similar to the one in the first room you entered. Floating just above it is a large scythe, slowly rotating in the air. It is matte black in colour, seeming to suck in all light around it. As you take hold of it, you can feel tremendous evil flowing over it's cold, smooth surface. Whatever this weapon is, it is powerful.

The next room is bare, except for a rusty greatsword hanging on the far wall by a couple nails. It's surface is pitted and uneven, and the leather wrappings on it's handle are fraying. It seems somewhat incongruous for such a dilapidated weapon to be in the horde of a Demon Lord, but there it is. Upon taking it, you feel a surge of emotion go through you. Pure, unbridled hate. You feel like you want to kill everything in the multiverse, tear apart all that is good and holy and dance on the ashes. And this sword seems like an ideal tool to do so.

The third room is stacked with adamentine chests, unadorned and perfectly square. Before you can examine them further, you hear a familiar voice behind you.
"Well done! I have to applaud your efforts. Of course, a little less collateral damage would have been appreciated, but we can't have everything." You turn to see the Dark Prince standing behind you, wearing a satisfied smirk. He leans on his wavy-bladed sword as he continues.
"Of course, when you're trying to kill a Demon Lord, you have to be crafty, because we are very crafty indeed. One thing you should always do..." He vanishes and reappears over Orcus's corpse with a sharp crack, "...is make sure they're dead." He stabs down at the base of Orcus's skull, sword flickering out with lightening speed. The 'dead' Prince gives out a scream of absolute hatred, his body convulsing, before immolating in a cloud of black flames that makes the very floor boil into magma. All at once a feeling of peace washes over you, as if Evil itself had been dealt a blow and Good had grown stronger. It's quite uncomfortable to someone like you.
Graz'zt grins again, having teleported out of the flames. He strides over to you, holding out a hand.
"Now, onto other matters. I must assume control of Orcus's forces quickly, before they disperse to much. In order to do this, I need the Wand. You can keep his other weapons and the Juggernaut, although it's useless to a non-demon, but I need the Wand." He frowns slightly upon seeing that it is cracked, but he still holds out his hand to take it.

Valhalla:

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Odin watches calmly as you unfold your magic. The other Gods are confused and outraged for the most part, but the Gallows God simply watches, expressionless. He closes his eye as the storm of protest begins.
"How dare you! Odin has never betrayed us, and we will not abandon him!" Frigga's rage is beyond that of any mortal, and it is only with iron concentration that she does not attack you.
"I agree, this is simple trickery. We will not be fooled by you, Crawler." Frey, God of the Elves, glares at you fiercely. His sister, Freya, nods in agreement.
"This may be trickery, yes. But it may have a grain of truth. I say we investigate further before making a decision, and see what evidence Chaos has against our Allfather." Tyr keeps his face emotionless, determined to make the right choice.
Thor backs him up with typical lack of decorum. "If you have truly been lying to us, I will rip you apart with my bare hands," he growls.
"You would be the next to go if you try such a thing," says Frigga, eyes narrowing.

Odin holds up his hand, eye still closed. As one, the Gods fall silent. The Allfather remains motionless for a few moments, as if waiting for a signal. Without moving, without giving any sign at all, all the paper, the sword in the stone and all the podiums go up in flames, burning to dust in an instant. Then his eye opens, and it glows with blue fire as he stares at you. The other Gods wait with baited breath to hear him.
"Anonymous, you have gone too far. You have gotten away with so much in the past. Started the War between Good and Evil that has claimed billions of lives, defied everyone by siding with Death, destroyed entire Planes. But now, in my Hall, you accuse me of treachery to my Pantheon. You may be older than me, Incarnation, but I am far wiser than you can ever hope to be.
"It was one of the Incarnations who stole the Death Gods. Someone able to trick their way past Cerberus, and defeat the pair before they could so much as blink. Someone who wanted to cause Chaos and Strife on a scale never before seen. Someone like you.
"I have not led my Pantheon astray, and I have been eternally loyal to them in the past. You, Anon, are devoted to trickery and mischief, and every word you have spoken is a lie.
"Now hear me. And let my words call forth a new age. An age of War." He pauses, and he no longer seems a weary old man. Now he is, indisputably, the Ruler of his Pantheon.
"I hereby declare this Pantheon at War with the Incarnations of Immortality. Any Incarnation who sets foot in our realm will be considered an enemy, and given no quarter. All dealings with the Incarnations may be hostile without any repercussions from the Resia Anti Homo, the Pact Primeval, The Proclamations of Shadows, or any other document or treaty. You have one day to prepare, and ten minutes to leave this Hall, before all of these changes take effect. Any God who challenges my rule will be considered an Enemy of the Pantheon, and treated as an ally of the Incarnations.
"Now get you gone, or face the wrath of the United Gods."
The other Gods stare at him with wide eyes, than one by one they turn to you with growing fury. The chances of them challenging Odin's rule now seems quite slim. Even Thor is content with the current state of affair, smacking his fist into one meaty palm as he glares at you menacingly.

[Anecronwashere]

Valhalla

"Hey I stole one Book of Ultimate Evil and one Teddy Bear for that war. Besides you would too for a teddy bear this cuddly."
An old bear with a halo appears and is hugged by a little 8yr old boy in pajamas.
"Destroying Planes is nothing. They live and die in an eyeblink to one such as me and should be considered as such. The billions of trillions of people slaughtered have no weight when they all would have died eons ago and their lines too. You have ordered more deaths per generation than I have Odin. I have just been around longer to order more of them.
And Death was a good guy, the old gods just didn't like his power. Though he always beat everyone at Poker the old trickster." The boy laughs innocently, though it slowly becomes sinister as he ages rapidly becoming a goateed man with evil eyes

"Do you know why the Resia Anti Homo was created? To stop me and Fate and protect the Gods. Here is why."
A massive surge of motion occurs and eyes erupt around the room. Ancient items depicting beings or recreations (or assumed originals) grow eyes in weird places. From each and every one erupts a tidal wave of magical energy, benign but with the implications staggering if they had been an attack.

"Nowhere is safe from Trickery. A new age of Chaos is dawning and you began it. Neither me nor anyone I know kidnapped the Gods of Death with my knowledge. Good luck in the apocalypse to come, you'll need it."
He leaves with a shimmer, his evil laughter staying for a few seconds before the eyes pop away.

"Oh and everything in those papers are accurate, if skewed by PR."
A voice comes, in the exact voice of Frigga.

Greek Hall

"Attention Gods of this pantheon. Hopefully Greek. This is prerecorded message #284. The Gods of [Norse] have broken the Taba Jilde. Due to this they are declared Enemy to the Incarnates and to any non-affiliated Gods including the Greek and whichever Pantheon takes this hall that is not [Norse]. War is declared, may your enemies die by the dozen.
Failure to comply with War is a War offence. Cessation of hostilities with every non-[Norse] is needed."
A statue that has been around for a long long time speaks with a very robotic voice.

Every Demon Prince's Throneroom

"It's time for War you miserable runt. This is a message recorded by Grothgar the Fierce {"deceased" for a long time} and some little God is getting uppity. Time to roll out the War Machine. Every squabble is officially on hold until the current crisis is over. Any morons dumb enough to countermand this is given an immediate execution order by Chaos, who is told to use every torture technique it knows. And it's the oldest being in the universe so it knows All of them. So get to it you lazy Quasits!!!!"

Every Incarnation's Heads (except nature)

[The Norse declared War. This is Chaos speaking. Return immediately to Ivory Marrow. That's here by the way.]
The teleport/planeshift coordinates pop into their heads if they don't have it.


OOC: Good thing I have a plan for this
Oh and I predicted you would pull this DM thats why I was PMing you about the thing.
Now to sow more Chaos MWAHAHAHAHAHA


Fire Lord's Palace

A Fire Elemental appears walking through the doors into the throneroom
"Greetings Lord, I am Trickery the Vesharii. I believe we've met. or that might have been your predecessor I really must keep up with the Elemental politics.
I come bearing grave news. War is declared between the Norse and the Incarnations. Naturally this will spiral out of control if not contained and crushed rapidly so I am imploring you to join our side and end the conflict before it can begin. I offer the negation of the ancient Jeknesi Debt, a move that will gain you great favour in the political arena to nullify as well as this. A contract for aid however the Lords so decide to me, Chaos of the Incarnations."

[legomaster00156]

Korug crossed his arms at Graz'zt's demand, as the building continued to collapse around them. He blinked a bit as Anon gave him a message in his mind. He rolled his eyes, and rolled the Wand of Orcus across the ground.
"Do what you must, Graz'zt," he said. "I must go, but I will return. You will not know when, so be prepared to leave for Demogorgon's domains at any time."
With that, he left the Abyss. He reached Ivory Marrow as quickly as possible, where he was greeted by his army. Pellow bowed as he saw his master return.
"How did it go in the Abyss?" Pellow asked, as they walked up the stairs to the palace.
"It went well. I would've liked to have had more time to gather treasure from the hoard of the late Orcus-"
"You killed Orcus? That wasn't exactly what you went down there for," Pellow interrupted.
"What I was down there for and what is beneficial to me are two vastly different things," Korug responded simply. He held his bag up to his eyes, with the three items inside it tucked away in the extradimensional space. He spoke to the bag. "Anon, are any of the items inside of you cursed? If so, could you remove the curses before anyone uses them?"

[Anecronwashere]

Ivory Marrow

The least cursed item is given to a passing mook (telekinetically)
"Would you really trust me to reliably look for Curses Korug? If so then you have learned nothing about me. Oh and here's your teddy back. I know you can't sleep without Pookums."
The bag burps up the teddy from earlier (Good's teddy). The voice projects outwards so pretty much anyone in the vicinity (read: the army) can hear the bit about 'Pookums'.

[JKTrickster]

Anduilas smiled, glad that the Inevitables were leaving. Turning around, he nodded at his newfound friend. He hoped they could move fast enough to activate and take this ship for their own purposes. He imagined the sheer might and power this fortress could bring him. Oh the glory of it, he thought with a smile. I am going to be sung about for ages!

Suddenly Anon's voice popped in his head, and for the first time Anduilas' face turned white. Face palming, he could not believe what he had just heard. "Oh I am totally going to get him later for this," he said with a snarl. Turning to the inevitable, he quickly went through the door. "Make haste. Right now things are about to get messy. We need the fortress now."

Then Anduilas stopped momentarily. "By the way, is there any way I can project my voice to those outside of this thing?"

[Avalon®]

Viserys parries the creature's blows not without some effort. The closest of the beast's blows reached no further than an arm's length away before being forcefully swept aside.

"Insolent whelp! Know your place!"

The muscles on his arms bulge out and his responding flurry of blows hit both quicker and stronger. Blows strong enough to level mountains single-handedly begin to rain down on the massive beast.

Every Incarnation's Heads (except nature)

[The Norse declared War. This is Chaos speaking. Return immediately to Ivory Marrow. That's here by the way.]
The teleport/planeshift coordinates pop into their heads if they don't have it.

No doubt he had something to do with it...

OOC:

Spoiler

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Using Fists of the Old Ones for extra Str and Dex.

Full Attack:

(1d20+193)[197]
(1d20+195)[202]
(1d20+197)[209]
(1d20+199)[200]
(1d20+201)[208]

Damage:

(4d6+267)[276]
(4d6+270)[282]
(4d6+273)[288]
(4d6+276)[290]
(4d6+279)[297]

I forgot to mention last post that all unarmed attacks bypass all types of DR. Let
s just start with this set of attacks.

[Sneaky Weasel]

Mechanus:

Spoiler

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Beyond the door is a blank metal corridor that twists out of sight to the left. A faint rushing noise can be heard from further along.
As you speak to it, the Inevitable simply stares at you. Then it's face breaks open into a bizarre, disturbing grin. It wags a finger at you, it's grin growing wider all the time. You notice it's eye sockets are now emitting an eerie red glow.
"The mighty hero, brave and bold, stands brazen in the door. When fires cleanse this space again, your life shall be no more." It speaks in the same voice of Paranoia, and you realize that all is not what it seems. However, you have little time left to ponder this before the door slams shut, giving you no chance to get out.
Of course, destroying a mere door is nothing for one such as you, even a door as strong as this one. The problem is, as soon as it shuts there is a vast rushing of wind, and then geysers set above the door shoot out white-hot flames with incredible speed and power, driving you back irresistibly. The floor and walls are smooth and slick, making it all but impossible to arrest your movement.

Spoiler

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You are forced back at a speed of 10'000 feet per round unless you can make a Balance Check(DC 200). You take (100d6)[364] Fire damage automatically, and if you fail on the balance check you are carried off down the corridor, smashing into the wall at each bend and taking (40d8)[164] damage before being thrown out the side of the Fortress and into the outside air. If you succeed on the balance check you can act as normal, making a new balance check and taking fire damage each round. The door has Hardness 50 and 400 HP.

The Abyss:

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With a mighty roar, the entire Palace of Orcus collapses. Grinding metal and shattering ice fills the air, as the structure that has stood there for thousands of years gives way under Primus's assault. Any Demon unlucky enough to be left inside is buried beneath tons of stone and ice.

From the rubble erupts Primus, intent on continuing it's destruction. The worm-machine moves it's head back and forth, as if sniffing the air. It turns to see a small grey figure floating behind it, a tiny red rod clutched in it's hand. Without hesitation, Primus charges.

Graz'zt smiles at the colossal beast hurtling towards him. This creature was no threat, at best a mere annoyance to one such as him. Although not as powerful as many other beings in the Multiverse, Graz'zt is undoubtedly the smartest, most cunning Demon in existance, and a mindless thing like Primus could be easily bent to his will.
"Primus, you have mistaken your orders. This is not the place you were meant to destroy, nor should you be here. Return to your master, and he will direct you to the next place of assault. Everything is dead here, and there is no reason to continue your fight." His words are laced with such cunning that they sway the clockwork mind of Primus, and breaks off it's charge as it adapts to this change of plans. It was meant to destroy Sigil, but that was a long time ago. Wouldn't it be best to return to Mechanus, and await orders from the Maker? Yes.

The Prime turns, seeking with it's head. Then it lunges again, it's snout ripping through the very fabric of the planes, tearing a hole through reality until it finds the place where it must go. It slides into Mechanus, and begins to fly through the void towards the Fortress of Gears. It is a long way off, but there is nothing that can distract Primus from it's goal.

Meanwhile, Graz'zt has already dismissed the creature from his mind. He had to act fast to solidify the Demon hordes, and had no time to waste wondering how Primus would fare. Korug had told him to wait, but every moment spent waiting was a moment that the Demogorgon could prepare defenses against him. The time to strike was now.

Flying high above the ruins of the Palace, the Dark Prince holds Orc- his Wand aloft. It gives off a red gleam, lighting up the icy plane with the colour of blood. His voice booms out across the wasteland, stopping the fleeing demons and undead in their tracks. They turn to watch as their new ruler speaks to them, his voice dripping with Evil.

"Hear me, Servants of the Late Orcus. Your master is dead, slain by my hand. I have proved myself the victor in the struggle against the Undead Prince, and now, bearing his Wand, I take command of all of you. You are now no more or less than the Demons who already serve me, and you will unite with them into an Army greater than any seen before. With this Army at my back, I will march against the Demogorgon. The Three warring rulers of the Abyss shall be reduced to One, and all Demons everywhere shall bow before me. With a united Abyss, we shall end the Blood War once and for all, and tear down the very Throne of Asmodeus! We alone shall rule the Lower Planes, and from there we march on the Multiverse itself! None shall stand before our might! We shall bring War to the earths and the heavens, and even Gods shall fear my name! March with me! And together, we shall turn this world into dust and ashes, and leave fire behind us! To the Brine Flats!"

He flies, his Wand held before him like a standard. Below him, the hordes of Orcus move as one, their feet beating out a steady rhythm on the ice plane. They are joined, slowly at first but then in a great stream, by the original followers of Graz'zt. They show no reluctance to mingle with their once hated foes, marching step by step alongside them. They have one purpose now, one solidified goal. This Army, with tens of thousands of Demons and Undead, would rule the Multiverse. And nothing was going to stand in their way.

Ivory Marrow:

Spoiler

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As soon as the message is sent out, Time appears before you. But he is not the Time you know of. This Time is dressed in flowing white robes, beneath which glimmers shining armor made in the same forge in which Life itself was created. A helmet covers his face, one half shining silver and the other half pure black, sucking in all light around it. He bears an Hourglass in one hand, a huge steely thing that glimmers as if reflecting fire on all sides. On one side it had a single word inscribed on it in a tongue lost to history. You can read it as easily as your own language, however. It says Everything. And there is far less sand remaining in it than you are comfortable with.
"Chaos, greetings. Time is beginning to end, so I ask you to be brief. I am ready to go to War, for everything around me is doing the same." His voice booms out hollowly from the mask, distorted by the different sides.

Before you can reply you hear a strange whistling noise, and your vision is filled with blinding light. As it fades you can make out a tall figure covered in spiky armor that reflects all light away from it. The armor is in fact made out of glittering shards of mirror, and it jangles faintly as the figure moves. The whistling noise is made from the wind blowing through chinks in the armor, rather like a wind chime. You haven't seen this being in person for a long time, but you recognize it instantly. It is Law.
-I have answered your call, in accordance with the Treaty of Athamnos. It seems you have made another foolish error. This time War will not end until all ends with it- You can sense Law's displeasure, the emotion knocking into you like a hammer blow.

Flameheim:

Spoiler

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The Lord of Fire, Great Imix himself, reclines on his ashen throne. He appears as a gigantic man, some two hundred feet tall, composed completely out of flickering flames. His burning blue eyes study the tiny being who has dared come into his presence, listening closely to the words it speaks.
"I have no love for the Gods, nor their servants. My war with Surt has gone on for millennia. But I also have no love for you or your kind, Anonymous. Politics do not concern me, and the Jeknesi Debt is no longer held in high esteem by my brethren. If I am to aid you, I must have something more...Tangible." The Lord smiles, it's mouth illuminated by white-hot flames.

Garden of the Lost:

Spoiler

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The living nightmare recoils from your awesome series of attacks, stumbling slightly as your fists smash into it again and again. It hisses in pleasure, enjoying the fight. Finally, an opponent worthy of it's might. It does even consider that you are capable of beating it, as it has never before encountered something on an equal level to it. It reacts with pure instinct, lunging at you again and again with no reason, no thought save your demise at it's snapping jaws. It attacks with even more ferocity than before, throwing itself at you with a howl of rage.

Spoiler

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Bite: (1d20+118)[131]
Claws: (1d20+118)[135], (1d20+118)[126]
Horns: (1d20+118)[135], (1d20+118)[133]
Stinger: (1d20+118)[134]

Damage:
Bite: (8d8+69)[110]
Claws: (3d8+54)[72] (3d8+54)[73]
Horns: (2d8+54)[68] (2d8+54)[63]
Stinger: (6d8+54)[84]
Poison, DC 99: (3d8)[12] Con damage
Rend if it hits with both claws: (6d8+56)[71]

[Anecronwashere]

Ivory marrow:

"It's one Pantheon. I've handled them singlehandedly before. You were there for that one on Gefal, Law. Why are the Norse any different. And don't you dare say Spoilers Time, this is serious.
And that can't be what I think it is. Everything can't end now, I haven't gotten her back yet. Or built my dungeon to perfection.
I analyzed the Chaos and this didn't even blip. Time you came from the end of this, everything you said played out exactly, why the sudden change. Was it Primus' attack on you?"

Flameheim

"Name a price Great Imix and I shall do my best to fulfill it. Every asset on our side is less casualties and less time spent."

[legomaster00156]

Korug crossed his arms at the appearance of the two incarnations.
"Is this all of us? Where's Luck?" he asked. He laughed. "Have we already lost an Incarnation?" Pellow raised his hand for Korug's attention. "Yes?"
"The items. We may wish to drop them off at the palace," Pellow said.
"Oh, yes, that is important, isn't it? Anon, care to disgorge the armor, scythe, and sword? They would be of great benefit to the army which, the last time I checked, is also yours to help keep running," Korug said.

[Anecronwashere]

"Since when? This is the first I've heard about keeping this tiny thing running." Chaos grumbles and pulls a scroll from somewhere. Anon unravels it and it seems to go on and on and on, much more than it should have been by the size. You see the top as she goes through it. It seems to be crossed out names
"No, killed by dragon. Wight. Planedeath. Oops, me. No, this ain't it. Nope no Ivory Marrow." Anonymous looks at Korug while holding the end of a long piece of parchment.

"But if you want it fine. Not like the Aztecs were using it." A snake crawls out of a scabbard on a random warriors belt talking before coughing up the weapons.
It then slithers to Chaos who picks it up "Good little me, yes I am, yes I am." Chaos cooes, tickling his own chin. Well the snake's chin. Which is Chaos.

Anon's hand turns into a tentacle with a giant mouth that eats the snake
"Apparently I taste good. Anyone want to try some Me?"

[Avalon®]

The Incarnation of Dream effortlessly bats away the beast's frenzied attacks. Dust swirls around them both as the beast's wild blows take their toll on the surrounding area.

Viserys grins as it watches the creature's feeble attempts at attacking him. "You think you can match me? You are SADLY mistaken!" A flurry of blows rain down on the beast and even now it begins to realize that each blow seems to be getting stronger and stronger with Dream slowly but surely growing in size. It isn't on par with the creature in terms of size but who knows what will happen after a few more blows. Unbeknownst to the beast, only four of strikes are hammer blows. The last is an open hand grasping at its leg.


OOC:

Spoiler

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Let's see if the next round will finish this.

Full Attack:

(1d20+203)[220]
(1d20+200)[201]
(1d20+197)[208]
(1d20+194)[197]
(1d20+191)[199] --> Touch attack for grapple

Apparently I keep forgetting about the attack penalty for iterative attacks. The attacks from the previous round still all hit though.

Damage:

(4d6+282)[294]
(4d6+285)[294]
(4d6+288)[303]
(4d6+291)[304]

Grapple Check:

(1d20+321)[323]

[JKTrickster]

Anduilas gritted his teeth as the flames burned his body. Reaching out, he almost wanted to wring the Inevitables' neck off. "You insolent wrench!" he spatted with satisfaction. He always wanted to say that line. But just before his hands could reach the Inevitable, the winds picked him up and swept him away. "Oh come one!" he yelled in frustration. This was beginning to get tiring for Andulias.

As the wind sent him blowing through the wind ducts, he tried his best to roll with the punches, but each blow was more jarring than the last. As he tumbled towards the exit, Anduilas realized that he was about the face Paranoia once more.

Quickly, Anduilas grew to full size once more, a towering behemoth just emerging from the Fortress. To outsiders, it almost looked like Andulias emerged one limb at a time, each trying to bulge its way out of the Fortress. His final exit burst a small hole in the exit, but out emerged the great hero, if a little scratched and singed around the edges.

Huffing, Anduilas flew over to Paranoia. Grasping his blades, he took one deep breath. "Paranoia!" he shouted, his loud voice bellowing out onto the entire plane. "Stand your foolishness NOW!"

Holding his blade up at Paranoia, he grinned. "You have two choices. Stand down. Pledge your allegiance to me and maybe I'll just forgive you. Follow me back to the Ivory Marrow so I can sort out just what is going on with the Gods."

"Or..." Anduilas, grinned as he swished his blades back and forth. "Let me show you my true power."

[legomaster00156]

Pellow blinked a few times at Anon's display, and even moreso at the weapons brought out. He picking up the oversized weapons a bit awkwardly. His eyes went wide as he felt the power crawling through them.
"This scythe looks like Feral Tooth's type of weapon," Pellow noted. "Do I have permission to give it to him?"
"Go ahead. I don't need any weapon that isn't this," Korug said, pointing to his chain.
Pellow took the weapons away and Korug crossed his arms, though he bore a grin on his face.
"So, how did you manage to get the gods on your bad side, Anon? I'm sure it's funny story."

[Sneaky Weasel]

Ivory Marrow:

Spoiler

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Time looks at Anon, his expression unreadable behind the mask. "I have seen the end of this War, and I know what will happen. But somehow...Things aren't going the way they did before. I've already experienced everything, but something unknown is interfering with the very timestream of the multiverse."

Law grimaces, tinkling in the wind as he does so. -The Gods have too great a hold over this world. Destroying them will shake the multiverse to it's core, and there is no knowing what could happen-

Suddenly, blinding light fills your vision. With a thunderous noise that makes your ears go numb, a figure appears before you, wreathed in flame. He stares around with cold, hateful eyes, his mouth twisted in a sneer. Destruction has come calling.
"So you've started War with the Gods, Chaos?" he asks bluntly, "This could be fun. Is there any reason you've called me here, or was that it?"
"Silly little duckling, of course that's not it. Even you should recognize the need for a plan." With a sound like breaking glass, the Lady appears once more. With a deft swipe of her claws, she tears off a chunk of flesh from Anon and begins devouring it messily. "You're right, you do taste good." She gives a high pitched giggle, ignoring the dark look Destruction throws as her for calling him a duckling.
Law nods at both of them solemnly. -Greetings Blizzard, Pain. It seems only Luck, Nature and Dream are missing from this meeting-

Mechanus:

Spoiler

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Upon exiting the Fortress, you see a chilling sight. The drones from inside have joined the battle, but not against Paranoia as you intended. They fly against the Inevitables, attacking them with ferocity. They are lless numerous and less powerful, but as you watch one of them simply touches a Quarut, it's hand slapping uselessly against the Inevitable's metal skin. Instantly the Quarut begins to warp, it's limbs bulging and it's body shrinking as it turns into another mindless drone. It's head splits open, and the wiring and gears from inside come tumbling out, leaving it just as empty as all the other servants of Paranoia.
Unfortunately, this is not the worst. A few hundred feet in front of you, you see Paranoia floating in the air. Clutched in his arms is Iridia, who struggles vainly against his implacable grip. One of his energy blades is held against her throat, and a trickle of blood stains her pale skin. Sleipnir is nowhere to be seen.
Iridia gives a strangled cry as she sees you, but she can't talk with the knife so near to her throat. Paranoia chuckles, a strange, tinny sound.
"You think you know true power, Luck? You mentioned this before. You've never known true power, fool, you've never known true War." His eyes narrow as he continues, and it seems as though the whole Plane grows darker as he speaks, the sound of battle dying to a faint roaring. "True power doesn't come from friends, who follow your command. The fear inside is stronger yet, you'll never understand. True power comes from fallen foes, lying bloody on the floor. True power comes from hurting those your enemy adores." He grins, pressing the knife deeper, leaving no doubt as to what he plans to do if you attack him.

Fireheim:

Spoiler

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Imix chuckles, a sound like the crackling of flames. "There is one thing you can do for me. I had a key, many ages ago. A key that could unlock certain doors. It may be found in the heights of Celestia, guarded by Sealtiel, the Defender. Bring me this key, and I will aid you against the Gods." The fiery behemoth leans back in it's throne, staring down at you with narrowed eyes.

Garden of the Lost:

Spoiler

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Your fists slam into the nightmare, smashing it from one side to the other and driving it back. It's carapace is beginning to crack, thin lines spreading across it's body and oozing blood. But the monster still fights on, although you takes hold of it's legs with an implacable grip. It continues it's furious assault, determined to bring you down.

Spoiler

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Attacks:
Bite: (1d20+130)[147]
Claws: (1d20+130)[147] (1d20+130)[140]
Horns: (1d20+130)[146] (1d20+130)[150]
Sting: (1d20+130)[141] (1d20+130)[148]

Damage:
Bite: (8d8+57)[99]
Claws: (3d8+42)[61] (3d8+42)[58]
Horns: (2d8+42)[56] (2d8+42)[51]
Sting: (6d6+42)[66], Poison DC 99 (3d8)[17] Con damage
Rend: (6d8+56)[92]
Grapple: (1d20+170)[180]

[Anecronwashere]

Ivory Marrow

"Nature never comes to my parties." The cute little girl sniffles "Dreamer is probably still taming that wazzamacallit. Tafasqi or someting."
The girl grown and changes into a suave demonic man "Luck is facing against Paranoia, the Warforged incarnate. Paranoia has the Elven Princess hostage and it's a face-off. My eye is blind now however, the small statue I put in her pocket fell out and shattered. And Pain, maybe on that date you promised you find out what other parts of me are tasty." he winks and blows a kiss before blinking onto Laws head in the form of a jellybaby king but bigger
"So we have no reliable future-telling, several armies, a few late Incarnates and a war on two, maybe 3 fronts. Destruction I want you to go with Time and do what you do best, Time go to the areas with the biggest amount of Norse Clerics or followers. The Gods power is derived from them so if you make them stop believing or unable to believe, like by killing them, their power should fall.
Law you're with me. I know you won't leave me on my own after starting this and we do fight well together when we aren't arguing.
Pain go call in as many debts to the high-power beings as possible. Tell them to come here armed for war.
Pelor or whatever your name is, what are the state of our magical items? and get me a Kels of the best and worst soldiers in Korug's Army. Oh since your an idiot, a Kels is 75 people. Unit commonly used by the Gek during the Formian Wars.
Korug, do whatever you want but be back soon."

Fireheim

"You're wish. My command." Anon said, disappearing in a poof of smoke.

Celestia

A Celestial appears, whoever Celestials normally appear

[Sneaky Weasel]

Ivory Marrow:

Spoiler

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Time nods solemnly. "They shall be like ants underfoot." He shimmers, and is gone.
Blizzard glares at Anon. "Who are you to give orders? You think you're the leader of the Incarnations or something? I'll do what you ask, because it amuses me. But there might be a reckoning about the chain of command somewhere down the line." He disappears in a pillar of fire.
"Calling in debts? There are many people who owe me. Sounds like fun." With a lascivious wink at Anon, Pain disappears.
Leaving Law, Chaos, and Betrayal. The former is not amused by Chaos perching on his head, and shakes him off with a grimace. -I don't leave you to your own devices because you're just as likely to attack us as the Gods. I can neutralize anything you can do, so don't try anything stupid. I suggest we concentrate on warding this area against the Gods, as it seems to be our de-facto base of operations- He spreads out one hands, and lines of magic begin to trace the air, flowing out around Ivory Marrow and slowly going invisible.

Celestia:

Spoiler

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Upon arriving on the Second Heaven of Celestia, where you know Sealtiel to reside, the first thing that catches your eyes are the spiders. This is unusual for a place of perfect harmony, but there it is. Spiders, everywhere.
All around you, Celestials battle with hordes of gigantic, vicious spiders, ranging from simple vermin to bebiliths and retrievers. Looking down, you see the First Heaven, bordering the Silver Sea, is almost completely overrun by the arachnid hordes. They swarm up in droves from far below, where you can see a number of portals that faintly glow in the evening sun.

Mixed into the attackers are dark elves, mostly powerful Priestesses of Lolth, battling the angels with their fell magic. Leading the upward charge is a tall, albino drow wearing black plate armor and bearing a twisted, evil looking spear. He is spattered with the blood of countless dead angels, and he laughs insanely as he spears another Solar through the throat. King Phynnod, consort of Lolth and Lord of the dark elves.

In addition, a number of Einherjer are also in the fray, hacking away at the angels with as much fury as the drow. The unmatched combat prowess of the northern warriors, combined with the dark magic of the drow and the swarm of spiders, is slowly pushing the angels back up the mountain. Despite the overwhelming numbers, however, the angels still have an excellent defensive position, and the battle shows no sign of ending anytime soon.

This makes everything easier for you, of course, as no one is going to bother guarding a key when a battle rages all around them. This is assuming you wish to keep a low profile, of course...