LGBTAitP Part 23: Et tu, ~Bianca?

[Triscuitable]

Has anyone else had the experience of looking into a mirror, and seeing the same figure that you see every day, who you recognize less and less from your mental image of yourself the more you look at it, but then you turn a specific way, or look from a specific angle, and you catch the barest glimpse of that ideal, but when you stop to take it in, or move even the slightest bit, she's [or he's] gone and the usual mask has fallen back into place?

Ye gods, that felt pretentious, but it's the only real way I can describe it.

You mean to see yourself a little more foreign to yourself each day, only to finally realize who you really want to be isn't who you are?

Yeah, I feel that some days. Other days, it's fine. I never really run into that problem.

[Astrella]

Has anyone else had the experience of looking into a mirror, and seeing the same figure that you see every day, who you recognize less and less from your mental image of yourself the more you look at it, but then you turn a specific way, or look from a specific angle, and you catch the barest glimpse of that ideal, but when you stop to take it in, or move even the slightest bit, she's [or he's] gone and the usual mask has fallen back into place?

Ye gods, that felt pretentious, but it's the only real way I can describe it.

Oh, very much actually. There are those moments were I can get a glance at "the girl inside me", and they can be incredibly random, like a quick reflection in a window or a look at the mirror.

Also, hi~

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Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

[Selpharia]

You mean to see yourself a little more foreign to yourself each day, only to finally realize who you really want to be isn't who you are?

Yeah, I feel that some days. Other days, it's fine. I never really run into that problem.

Well, yes, though I think I meant that there was always a base level of disconnect, that just continually grows. That and when the "eureka" moment happens to me, it's more like for a second that's not the case, and everything is instantaneously perfect, but the instant fades, and I can't get it back again without repeating the whole process.

[Lix Lorn]

Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

(HUGS)
(HUGS A LOT)

[Mystic Muse]

(HUGS)
(HUGS A LOT)

(Gives cookies too)

[Selpharia]

Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

I'll add my hugs to the stack of your incoming ones, and try to add in some of my own thoughts that I hope will help, even if only a little, because your response really made me feel much better (which goes for everyone else too).

Re:Dysphoria

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I'm still trying to figure out what my first real "trans" steps should be, so the very fact that you're in a position where you've talked to a therapist sounds like progress to me. That and a lot of time spent coding and studying political history suggests to me that if you're always 100% certain, you're certainly 100% wrong. I don't know how much that helps, but it's helped me to think that, sometimes

[Arachu]

As a random aside, I have a question born out of today's morning routine.

Has anyone else had the experience of looking into a mirror, and seeing the same figure that you see every day, who you recognize less and less from your mental image of yourself the more you look at it, but then you turn a specific way, or look from a specific angle, and you catch the barest glimpse of that ideal, but when you stop to take it in, or move even the slightest bit, she's [or he's] gone and the usual mask has fallen back into place?

Ye gods, that felt pretentious, but it's the only real way I can describe it.

Sometimes. There are times I can swear I see the person I want to be somewhere in my reflection, but if I move, smile, rub my face while my hands happen to be wet... Well, she's replaced by who I've had to be. :/

Also, assuming you haven't gotten one yet; *welcomeglomp!*

Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

*Hugs!* :<


~Bianca

[H Birchgrove]

Having a transdimensional "twin"... Hmmm...

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I assume she would be a trans woman... I wonder how she would cope with my parents... I guess mum and my sister would be okay toward her...

Good merciful and and not so merciful gods, I can't calculate the horror she would face in school.

I would comfort her... hug her... I assume we share interests, though maybe she secretly read "our" sister's Kitty novels instead of Adventures of Tintin, and maybe Astrid Lindgren and Ursula K. Guin instead of Jules Verne and Isaac Asimov.

If she wouldn't look so similar to "our" sister, we would be a perfect match.

I might ignore that, and... get romantic and stuff with her anyway. Secretly. My gods.

Aye, I am still alive and around.
Just have been a tad too busy with too much stuff lately. I shall be a slight more common sight here during the next few weeks.

Cool!

Hi honey I'm hoooooome!

so a certain wonderful lady (and her spouse/hivemind cohabitor) has been telling me that the thread seems to have uh
calmed down from where I left it off and has been nagging me to post so even though I've been watching from the sidelines I feel a bit better posting here now since a lot of the issues I had have made themselves a bit scarce.

big ↓

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TAKING PHOTOS IN THE BATHROOM MIRROR MAKES ME ARTSY
(I'm the one on the left with the big earring who is just a head)


so I want to yell about stuff and it's irritating so I'm going to spoiler it in a few different sections:
cissexism ↓

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I hate it so much and it is frigging everywhere how hard is it to not be cissexist really? Normally I can laugh at it but like, the other day for whatever reason I was talking with my mother about something which included me referring very specifically to people with vaginas rather than women since not all women have vaginas and whatnot. Anyway she later "corrected" the word "women" which would have been appropriate to "people with vaginas" which was incredibly genital essenitialist and feels like she was mocking me. Also in this conversation I got laughed at when I said that the majority of people who had vaginas are women. Ugh.

dysphoria ↓

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so a different time to that last conversation a friend's mother referred to me in a group of "the boys" and I almost cried which was nice and I hate this but I feel bad for wishing I was just frigging cis because I feel like I'm being transphobic :(

also I really really want breasts :S
frigging testosterone I mean seriously what is UP with that guy

therapists ↓

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I went to my GP and he is quite a good fella, I am on antidepressants now and he referred me to a gender therapist, I don't suppose any UK LGBTA+ers have heard of Bill Brind? If you have, is he any good? Worth a shot asking I guess. I did a little quick googling and there doesn't seem to be much about him online.

bigots ↓

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there are some ridiculously bigoted individuals on my course in college and I have to listen to all the awful things they say and all the terrible videos they watch on youtube with such hilarious jokes as homophobia and transphobia and queerphobia and misogyny and rape and also sometimes racism

since they don't listen to me I should probably bring it up with one of my tutors

the thing that pretty much bothers me the most consistently but isn't that big a deal it's just irritating to keep thinking of it ↓

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so like, very nearly everyone looks sweet-ass with short hair but I don't wanna cut my hair because I'm worried it will make it harder for me to be read as female when I actually try presenting so there's that which is ridiculous because WHY IS HAIR LENGTH GENDERED

THAT SHOULD NOT BE A THING WHY IS IT A THING

also there's the fact that if I went to a professional hairdresser I would almost certainly chicken out of telling them that no I am definitely sure I want a "girl's haircut" and to make it look as femmey as possible

these are my problems

You look great, Dogmantra!

Sorry to hear about the bigotry and ignorance you're facing.

*Hugs!*

Thanks Bianca.

Congratulations! You are now somehow different than you were 24 hours ago (and capable of making decisions which you apparently couldn't have way back then).

... Excuse me while I go kick time in the shins until that happened. >.>

Good Norse Gods, do I and Time have issues...

I love your skirt!

I agree!

*Hugs* across the board.


~Bianca

Thanks again Bianca. *hugs back*

It's sorta troublesome balancing between liking something even though it's problematic at times. Great article on this.

I like Womanist Musings because it covers a lot of different forms of discrimination. Feministe is pretty cool too. I'd link more stuff; but most of the stuff I read tends to be more trans*/LGBT+-oriented.

Thanks for the recommended links, Astrella! (I realise I've confused womanism with the Womyn born Womyn movement... )

I too have experience of liking things that are problematic... >.>

What annoys me is when folks complain about prejudice in some writers' books (like those by Rudyard Kipling, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Robert E. Howard, etc), and claim that make everything they did worthless, even if they did have some literal merit and/or created something original. But they let equally troublesome or worse bigotry pass in other writers (or "authors" ) books (for example by Charles Dickens, Jack London, Émile Zola, etc), claiming that they were "good enough" so we can read that as long as we make some comments on their bigotry.

Awwww, hugggsss.

Thanks Astrella. *hugs back*

That's the difference between enforced-gender-neutral (which doesn't work very well and is basically impossible to do unless you keep the child in a controlled environment all of the time) and gender-diverse, where there are cars and dolls and all children are encouraged to play with whatever they want, no "girl's toys" or "boy's toys" just "children's toys".

Exactly. I'm all for letting assumed cis boys (who may be trans girls) wear pink dresses if they want to. Sure, I would probably have been weirded out by that when I was in kindergarten, but that's not the point.

No, but nobody really said that. I came closest by saying that some of the guys I know don't want feminism to take away the hot women in bikinis in ads. Maybe I should have elaborated (or left that line out). I mean they specifically want gratuitous sexualised images of women on ads for totally unrelated things, like food products.

Specifically, there were some really bad ads a while ago. It actually happened twice (two different sports), the same company (selling snacks) used highly sexualised images of women posing in very skimpy approximations of sports uniforms, with blatant single entendres (pretty close to CHECK OUT HER BOOBIES) and a little picture of the snack in the bottom corner. This wasn't women who happened to be hot playing sport, this was explicitly models posing in a sort of "Imagine if women played sport, it'd be so hot to have them, like, lean over, and kick in their tiny miniskirts so you could see their panties" etc. Annnnyway, I complained about the ads to the Advertising Standards Authority, and posted on facebook the link to their online form because I knew some of my friends also wanted to complain. Instant backlash. Also, at a con AGES later, one of my friends told some people that "it was Kender who got those ads taken down!" (turned out he was using it as an example of me being feminist, which he thought was a good thing) but I got loads of
Random guy: "Hey, S says you got those ads taken down, what a joke he is, right?"
Me: "Well, I didn't do it single-handedly, but I was one of the people who complained."
Random guy: "WHAT?! BUT THE SEXY WIMMINZ I WANT TO LOOK AT THEM PRETENDING TO PLAY SPORTS!!"

Some... people... ugh...

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Don't they realise that if they really want smut, they can get smut elsewhere, for *free*. No need to have smut every where!

I'm no saint, I look at smut at times, but I don't want it in public, where I find myself uncomfertable with it and my thought process gets corrupted and suddenly I can't think of nothing else but nude or scantily clad women. ._.

Reminds me about adverts for a computer store in Stockholm which a Stockholm-based national news paper had, which had a lady standing in "provoking" poses around the computers. The defence used by the company, and even by my elder sister who'd I thought would know better, said that was okay because the lady in question was the owner of the computer store.

I smiled a bit when the store weren't longer allowed to run those ads and the argument was that it doesn't matter that the the woman doing poses is the owner of the store, since the store sells computer and not something that would rationalize her being in them, like female clothing.

I think this feminism thing is actually starting to sink into my brain and is even showing up in my gameplay. I'm playing through Final Fantasy V again and it suddenly dawned on me that I'd set the two women in the group as a Knight and a Monk and had the two guys as a White Mage and Thief, in a reversal of traditional roles.

It does make me wonder though - why is it that fantasy roles have always pegged women as squishy (and often scandalously under-dressed) caster times that have to have magic in order to be strong?

We need more Femiknights!

I'm all for more female melee warriors! And female intellectual wizards!

Every time I read about a female monk, I want to shout "She's a NUN!" ._.

EDIT: .....and the first person to mention the whole "chainmail bikini" thing is going to get a sharp poke from a pointy stick.

... I actually like Red Sonja (meaning here the comic book version created by Roy Thomas, not the original by Robert E Howard which wasn't a fantasy character but a historical fiction protagonist who was a warrior but not wearing silly armour - though I'd love to read REH's version too). It's something of a guilty pleasure, but still. ._.

Can we let Red Sonja have a monopoly on silly chainmail?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOR3snVKW0E

It works very well. I'm a bad person for using it as my main spy tactic >.<

Whoever came up with that idea has earned my respect.

You mean Cuanta Vida, maybe?

Great find, Skeppio!

*hugs and kisses*

Chainmail bikini!

Good read.

Feminism and gender-neutrality

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Talking about the name, I remember either the Godless Bitches, Natalie Reed or Natalie Reed guest staring on the Godless Bitches mentioning that a lot of people have trouble with seeing "feminism" as a gender-neutral word, but accept plenty of similar things with masculine words (Like "mankind", "Guys" and "brotherhood of Evil Mutants"). It echoes the strange notion in many languages that men are the standard, women are modified men and others are nonexistent. Especially apparent in French, where most substantives are gendered, but any collection of them are referred to with "Ils" (masculine) unless not a single masculine item is present.

Is it reasonable to consider feminism a word that has evolved to do the opposite and be a previously feminine word that turned neutral?

Tl;dr: Words originally referring to femininity seems to be considered always-female, but words originally referring to masculinity are easily considered gender-neutral. Feminism could be an exception to the word-sexism

I haven't thought about it that way. Very good point(s).

I shall ponder on this.

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On a sillier note, I just noticed that my avatar fits nude week without changing anything. Laziness wins yet again!

Yay for lazyness!

My Barbarian Paladin is going commando for Nude Theme Week, at least as long as I don't have a customized avatar for this theme week. (Will check the theme week thread later.)

Swedish doctors are performing uterus transplants (with is a cisplant?). But I think we have a long way to go before they start offering them to trans women. Sorry.

But... the bone structure...

The baby must get its head and the rest of the body through. ._.

If it works on cis women then there's no reason why it wouldn't work on trans women. Birth would probably be by c-section - I'm not sure a neovagina is built to handle that kind of stretching.

You realize you'd never be able to go somewhere where there are crowds, don't you? And that every time you got a cold it would be a potential emergency? Immunosuppresants aren't things to kid around with. Not to dissuade you, but I want you to be certain of what you're signing on for?

So people who've gotten heart/liver/other organ transplants have it this rough?

Oh, very much actually. There are those moments were I can get a glance at "the girl inside me", and they can be incredibly random, like a quick reflection in a window or a look at the mirror.

Also, hi~

-----

Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

*hugs*

Dunno if this helps or anything...

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I find my voice, well, maybe not exactly girl-ish, but far from the manly man-voice I'd like to have.

I don't think you have to wait longer for HRT just because you ask for it... Then again, I don't have experience of this. ._. Do you have to "pass" for a whole year or something in order to get HRT?

[Asta Kask]

So people who've gotten heart/liver/other organ transplants have it this rough?

Yes. I have a neighbor who has a kidney transplant and her life is pretty rough. But it is so much better than dialysis.

Astrella - *hugs*. You are in the system now, they can't just ignore you like they could before. You're on the road. And it will take you to a beautiful place.

[Mina Kobold]

You should come to the Newcastle Meetup.

Or the Camden Market MiniMeetup that people are considering on a whim.

As should you Dogmantra. And anyone else here who I don't remember who's in Britannia or able to make it to Britannia early July.

I might be in old Londonium in July, perchance I can be there!

If I am not in time, however, I will instead use the opportunity to glomp any of you who cross my way. X3

I really really really really like this! Thank you for bringing it to my attention!

Glad to be of service.

Hello everyone.

Jelly good hello! :3

*Jellyfish-glomps*

Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

;_;

*Hugs*

That sounds terrible, I hope the answer will be much brighter than that.

[KenderWizard]

Wow, I just had a massive crysplosion. I literally cried for 45 minutes, it was ridiculous and my eyes hurt a lot now. I think I might be a bit stressed. (Crysplosion was triggered by not being invited to a dinner. Even I don't think it's that big a deal, it was just a rejection on top of my big giant spiky bundle of stress in my tummy.)

What annoys me is when folks complain about prejudice in some writers' books (like those by Rudyard Kipling, Edgar Rice Burroughs, Robert E. Howard, etc), and claim that make everything they did worthless, even if they did have some literal merit and/or created something original. But they let equally troublesome or worse bigotry pass in other writers (or "authors" ) books (for example by Charles Dickens, Jack London, Émile Zola, etc), claiming that they were "good enough" so we can read that as long as we make some comments on their bigotry.

From my observations, EVERYONE in the past (you know, like, say, pre-1960s) was racist. And by "everyone", I mean, "everyone whose writings we have". Maybe some people weren't. Maybe Jesus was really non-racist and it just didn't come up very often. Anyway, my point is, provided we make it clear that it's not okay anymore, we can't eliminate any literature from "the old days" based on a little institutional racism. I betcha people will look back at the great literature we produce and say "Wow, those people in the past were really transphobic. And also still racist and sexist and stuff, I mean, this stuff is laughably blatant, given how long those movements were around by the turn of the millennium."

[Mono Vertigo]

*hugs Kender* It's okay, we're gonna throw a party just for you. A nice party full of rainbows and cookies and whatever else you like.

On the subject of now-long-dead writers who were racist:
case in point, H. P. Lovecraft. Excellent writer. Very imaginative. Nicely explored the theme of the (fear of the) unknown. Introduced the important idea that the universe is absolutely immense and doesn't care about little specks of life such as we are.
Also several kinds of -ist, which really shows in a couple stories, and was kind of ridiculous even for the times, to the point said stories suffer from it (in a world where both unspeakable things and black people exist, he's choosing to be suspicious of the latter? Really?). But I still enjoy him immensely as an artist, just not as a human being. Of course, the bright side is that he's not benefiting from my money and attention, being dead.

[Mina Kobold]

*Hugs Kender as well*

That's no fun at all, but I hope it helped to cry it out. Crying can be both a curse and a relief.

On the note of racist authors, I think How to be a fan of problematic things might be worth considering in that regard. Which is pretty much all I can say that Kender and Musashi has not already said much better. ^_^'

Except for recalling the discussion about an author who had turned quite queerphobic later in their career and whom many did not want to provide money, even if the older books were still good. The philosophy of looking at what consequences purchasing and reading the book has seems very logical for this issue.

[noparlpf]

Anime lust-related problems:

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#YuYuHakusho
OMFG I want Karasu/Kurama D/s fic so bad right now. Or, Hiei/Kurama, or feck it, InsertHotDom/Kurama. Or Kurama/InsertHotSub. I want D/s featuring Kurama. And I want it now! I think I might be 14 again, people... Oh, Kaiba/Yami... (YuGiOh).

I might need a cold shower before I can study. It's been so long since this happened last! Also, I thought I'd weaned from anime onto, y'know, humans. Turns out not!

Animation is so much better than real things.

Oh, very much actually. There are those moments were I can get a glance at "the girl inside me", and they can be incredibly random, like a quick reflection in a window or a look at the mirror.

Also, hi~

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Dysphoria:

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Bleh, major wave of depression earlier when I was playing League of Legends with a friend and some of her friends and I was too nervous to join the skype call with my crappy boyish voice and then I just got a whole panic wave wash over me over how stupid this all is and I feel like I basically made no progress the last weeks and I have a therapist appointment and I'm too nervous to ask when I can start HRT because I'm afraid the answer might devastate me and...

:<
*hugs*

Wow, I just had a massive crysplosion. I literally cried for 45 minutes, it was ridiculous and my eyes hurt a lot now. I think I might be a bit stressed. (Crysplosion was triggered by not being invited to a dinner. Even I don't think it's that big a deal, it was just a rejection on top of my big giant spiky bundle of stress in my tummy.)

:<
*also hugs*

From my observations, EVERYONE in the past (you know, like, say, pre-1960s) was racist. And by "everyone", I mean, "everyone whose writings we have". Maybe some people weren't. Maybe Jesus was really non-racist and it just didn't come up very often. Anyway, my point is, provided we make it clear that it's not okay anymore, we can't eliminate any literature from "the old days" based on a little institutional racism. I betcha people will look back at the great literature we produce and say "Wow, those people in the past were really transphobic. And also still racist and sexist and stuff, I mean, this stuff is laughably blatant, given how long those movements were around by the turn of the millennium."

Heck, people further in the future will look back at those earlier future-peoples' literature and criticise the heck out of it too.

[Asta Kask]

Wow, I just had a massive crysplosion. I literally cried for 45 minutes, it was ridiculous and my eyes hurt a lot now. I think I might be a bit stressed. (Crysplosion was triggered by not being invited to a dinner. Even I don't think it's that big a deal, it was just a rejection on top of my big giant spiky bundle of stress in my tummy.)

Listen to the first seven minutes of this. Or the entire opera if you have time. It's musical bliss distilled.

[Delusion]

Hello everyone.

On what I'm pretty sure is sort of the topic of discussion, I think Kinomoto Sakura (Cardcaptor Sakura) and Takatsuki Yayoi (Idolm@ster) just need to meet and do cute things and sports and snuggle together until either the universe or my brain explodes. I suppose I should provide enough gee and willickers for all this golly going around? Oh, and I'd like to be an ottoman

As a random aside, I have a question born out of today's morning routine.

Has anyone else had the experience of looking into a mirror, and seeing the same figure that you see every day, who you recognize less and less from your mental image of yourself the more you look at it, but then you turn a specific way, or look from a specific angle, and you catch the barest glimpse of that ideal, but when you stop to take it in, or move even the slightest bit, she's [or he's] gone and the usual mask has fallen back into place?

Ye gods, that felt pretentious, but it's the only real way I can describe it.

Yeah that feeling once or twice.

A wonderful feeling.

[Triscuitable]

I think I want to live my life as a woman for a while. Not as a change, but to see my life from a different perspective. If only for feeling like a girl, I want that. I always flutter between genders, but I never found one to call my own.

[Kindablue]

Wow, I just had a massive crysplosion. I literally cried for 45 minutes, it was ridiculous and my eyes hurt a lot now. I think I might be a bit stressed. (Crysplosion was triggered by not being invited to a dinner. Even I don't think it's that big a deal, it was just a rejection on top of my big giant spiky bundle of stress in my tummy.)

Unfortunately, all I can offer is sympathy and Internet hugs. *hugs*

Listen to the first seven minutes of this. Or the entire opera if you have time. It's musical bliss distilled.

Have a few more, with a running theme:

Cowell - The Tides of Manaunaun
Tchaikovsky - Marche Slave
Britten - Sunday Morning
Cage - The Wonderful Widow of Eighteen Springs

[SiuiS]

A transdimensional warp opens and out steps...

...your Gender Identity twin!

This twin has the same gender identity that you have, but another kind of body. Women's twin has a male body and the other way around. So I would get a trans man. Genderqueer, gender fluid, etc. get a cis of whatever sex they were assigned at birth.

What do you see?

... So, I would have no indication this was anything other than a double o.O ?

At the very least we'd end up making my filly pretty happy. I'd have to get a better job though, it would be more efficient to have one of us work on personal projects while the others earns food money.

Oohhh, and the D&D games we could play...

[Triscuitable]

Major accomplishments that I've made since I came to my new school:

• Tried to (and successfully) convince the staff at the school to change "Autism Awareness Month" to "Autism Acceptance Month".
• Got a club set up for students with social disabilities to help them with learning to tell the teachers what the teacher needs to do to help them.
• Taken down quite a bit of phobias and misbeliefs about Autism and Asperger's, telling others it's nothing to pity.

I should note the club focuses in helping students with getting teachers and students to understand them, and isn't exclusively for the socially disabled. It's just an easy way to identify the group. We have no name for it, but the Vice-Principal appointed me President. What's a good name for it, do you think?

[KenderWizard]

*hugs Kender* It's okay, we're gonna throw a party just for you. A nice party full of rainbows and cookies and whatever else you like.

That sounds amazing!

*Hugs Kender as well*

That's no fun at all, but I hope it helped to cry it out. Crying can be both a curse and a relief.

It can indeed. I cry more than I'd like and I find it very difficult to control, so I don't like that. But I know it would be worse if I just bottled it up because I do get very emotional about things. If I bottled up all that emotion, I'd probably explode. On, like, day 2.

:<
*also hugs*

*hugs*

Listen to the first seven minutes of this. Or the entire opera if you have time. It's musical bliss distilled.

Unfortunately, all I can offer is sympathy and Internet hugs. *hugs*


Have a few more, with a running theme:

Cowell - The Tides of Manaunaun
Tchaikovsky - Marche Slave
Britten - Sunday Morning
Cage - The Wonderful Widow of Eighteen Springs

That's a great idea! Right now, I'm going to sleep so I can't listen to all of these, but I think I will tomorrow when I'm studying.

Thanks everyone! Love you all! Feeling better now. It's just all the stress, I can't wait to be FINISHED!!

[Arachu]

I took a picture today! Of me. :shyface:

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So, I was adjusting my jacket in a clinic bathroom, and I had an oddly self-confident moment... I'm, uh, over 50 pounds lighter than I was when I got that jacket. I'm thinner than it makes me look... >.>

Also, bonus pic; a cube I drew in two dimensions back in November or so. I don't know how accurate it is (the non-diagonal lines represent parts of the surfaces, which I probably should have color-coded or something), but I think they're kinda neat.

... They're less impressive when you know I drew them in the middle of class. >.>

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Having a transdimensional "twin"... Hmmm...

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I assume she would be a trans woman... I wonder how she would cope with my parents... I guess mum and my sister would be okay toward her...

Good merciful and and not so merciful gods, I can't calculate the horror she would face in school.

I would comfort her... hug her... I assume we share interests, though maybe she secretly read "our" sister's Kitty novels instead of Adventures of Tintin, and maybe Astrid Lindgren and Ursula K. Guin instead of Jules Verne and Isaac Asimov.

If she wouldn't look so similar to "our" sister, we would be a perfect match.

I might ignore that, and... get romantic and stuff with her anyway. Secretly. My gods.

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Don't feel bad; like I mentioned, I'd probably make out with me too. I have really soft lips. >.>

That we'd look kind of like our respective sisters isn't really that bad... I mean, a lot of people do. We'd probably look different enough to us for the awkwardness of them being us to be the main one.

But... the bone structure...

The baby must get its head and the rest of the body through. ._.

That's a good point... I imagine that any birth made in such a circumstance would have to be through C-Section. Assuming there's room for the uterus, it may actually be possible... :smallhopeful:

*hugs*

Dunno if this helps or anything...

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I find my voice, well, maybe not exactly girl-ish, but far from the manly man-voice I'd like to have.

I don't think you have to wait longer for HRT just because you ask for it... Then again, I don't have experience of this. ._. Do you have to "pass" for a whole year or something in order to get HRT?

*Hugs*

Wow, I just had a massive crysplosion. I literally cried for 45 minutes, it was ridiculous and my eyes hurt a lot now. I think I might be a bit stressed. (Crysplosion was triggered by not being invited to a dinner. Even I don't think it's that big a deal, it was just a rejection on top of my big giant spiky bundle of stress in my tummy.)

*Hugs!*

I think I want to live my life as a woman for a while. Not as a change, but to see my life from a different perspective. If only for feeling like a girl, I want that. I always flutter between genders, but I never found one to call my own.

Good luck! *Fist-bump*

Major accomplishments that I've made since I came to my new school:

• Tried to (and successfully) convince the staff at the school to change "Autism Awareness Month" to "Autism Acceptance Month".
• Got a club set up for students with social disabilities to help them with learning to tell the teachers what the teacher needs to do to help them.
• Taken down quite a bit of phobias and misbeliefs about Autism and Asperger's, telling others it's nothing to pity.

I should note the club focuses in helping students with getting teachers and students to understand them, and isn't exclusively for the socially disabled. It's just an easy way to identify the group. We have no name for it, but the Vice-Principal appointed me President. What's a good name for it, do you think?

Wow. That's a lot of accomplishment!

I can't think of a name, unfortunately...


~Bianca

[Astrella]

Re:Dysphoria

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I'm still trying to figure out what my first real "trans" steps should be, so the very fact that you're in a position where you've talked to a therapist sounds like progress to me. That and a lot of time spent coding and studying political history suggests to me that if you're always 100% certain, you're certainly 100% wrong. I don't know how much that helps, but it's helped me to think that, sometimes

That helps, yes. (Hope you figure out what you want to do too! And I'm always willing to share what I know about transitioning and whatnot.)

And than you everyone for all the hugs and sympathies.

Wow, I just had a massive crysplosion. I literally cried for 45 minutes, it was ridiculous and my eyes hurt a lot now. I think I might be a bit stressed. (Crysplosion was triggered by not being invited to a dinner. Even I don't think it's that big a deal, it was just a rejection on top of my big giant spiky bundle of stress in my tummy.)

Aww, *hugs*. Crying usually makes me feel relieved though, so hopefully this helped get a bit of the stress out of your system?

Major accomplishments that I've made since I came to my new school:

• Tried to (and successfully) convince the staff at the school to change "Autism Awareness Month" to "Autism Acceptance Month".
• Got a club set up for students with social disabilities to help them with learning to tell the teachers what the teacher needs to do to help them.
• Taken down quite a bit of phobias and misbeliefs about Autism and Asperger's, telling others it's nothing to pity.

I should note the club focuses in helping students with getting teachers and students to understand them, and isn't exclusively for the socially disabled. It's just an easy way to identify the group. We have no name for it, but the Vice-Principal appointed me President. What's a good name for it, do you think?

Awesomes! I can't really think of a name right now though.

I took a picture today! Of me. :shyface:

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So, I was adjusting my jacket in a clinic bathroom, and I had an oddly self-confident moment... I'm, uh, over 50 pounds lighter than I was when I got that jacket. I'm thinner than it makes me look... >.>

You look lovely! Also, scary nails! Also, yes, the jacket looks a bit oversized. But lovely, yes, yes.

-----

So aside from it raining horribly and being nervous I missed my therapist appointment. I have to take two trains and the first one stood still cause of a red sign in the middle of nowhere for about an hour. So I'm going to call them tomorrow and see if I can reschedule.

[Selpharia]

Major accomplishments that I've made since I came to my new school:

I should note the club focuses in helping students with getting teachers and students to understand them, and isn't exclusively for the socially disabled. It's just an easy way to identify the group. We have no name for it, but the Vice-Principal appointed me President. What's a good name for it, do you think?

Hmm, I think an excessively formal name won't do for this, so I don't think the standard "The ____ Club" name form really works here. I don't think many people would be encouraged to join something called the [People Don''t Understand Me] club. If it were me, I'd call it something like Common Ground, since what you're aiming for is mutual understanding which generally starts with finding common ground.

I also want to tell you how much I admire your doing your autism acceptance work, and tell you how necessary it is, as someone who spent a good part of my middle school and early high school years making fun of such people to make myself feel better about my own legions of issues, before I realized what a pathetic piece of filth I was being.

Kender, I hope you're feeling better now, and add a piece of internet cake to the supplies for the party we will be having.

I took a picture today! Of me. :shyface:

Your pretty hair makes me so jealous that there are no words, as does your lack of the face fuzz that infests my countenance daily.

[Qaera]

Arachoochoo is preeeety~

I'm kind of sad because I was accepted to a college I really want to go to... But can't afford it, so I'm going to my backup school... Probably. ">.>

I'm making cookies for my GSA's bake sale, and they're really good. :3

~ ♅

[Astrella]

Arachoochoo is preeeety~

I'm kind of sad because I was accepted to a college I really want to go to... But can't afford it, so I'm going to my backup school... Probably. ">.>

I'm making cookies for my GSA's bake sale, and they're really good. :3

~ ♅

Awww. *hugs*

This is the one nearby then?

Also, don't eat all of them.

[Arachu]

Your pretty hair makes me so jealous that there are no words, as does your lack of the face fuzz that infests my countenance daily.

Thanks (and *hugs*).

I had to fight for my hair... My parents wouldn't let me grow it growing up. I finally started refusing outright just before graduation; best decision I made before returning to GitP.

As for shaving... It'd be a bit worse if I had shaven last night instead of this morning. >.>

Arachoochoo is preeeety~

Thanks.

I'm kind of sad because I was accepted to a college I really want to go to... But can't afford it, so I'm going to my backup school... Probably. ">.>

~ ♅

*Hugs* :c


~Bianca

[Triscuitable]

Wow. That's a lot of accomplishment!

I can't think of a name, unfortunately...


~Bianca

It's not the first time I've been determined to change stuff.

My current name is "A Group of Unique Individuals for Social Success", or AGUISS.

[Rawhide]

My current name is "A Group of Unique Individuals for Social Success", or AGUISS.

You should really be asking this elsewhere...

The Social Lights
Ability Discussion Group
Able Mind, Able Teachers
Expressions of Social Interest
Verbalising the Nonverbal

[Triscuitable]

You should really be asking this elsewhere...

The Social Lights
Ability Discussion Group
Able Mind, Able Teachers
Expressions of Social Interest
Verbalising the Nonverbal

I suppose so, but I know that some of the most sympathetic people, willing to engage in serious conversation frequent this thread. I shouldn't be surprised that you'd come up with some amazing names for this. Thank you.

That, and I wanted to talk about this thing; I've met a guy (FtM) who is easily one of the most empathetic people I've known for a while now. We actually broke up almost simultaneously, and have been focusing on helping the other, so we avoid doting on what causes our own pain.

And I've found through this, I really like him. Weird how that happens, huh?