Personal Woes and Advice 2

[Sholos]

A borderliner I suppose is a person suffering from borderline, a personality disorder. Generally these kind of people are very difficult to interact with socially and requires a lot of patience from the surroundings. From what I can remember, they tend to see things in white and black only. And they can move quite fast from one extreme to the other with basis of only one action. They have trouble to look at things in perspective. So you might be best friends for years and then suddenly you forget to call on his / her birthday and now you're the most horrible person in the world. It makes it difficult to keep relationships and people will start to (rightfully) avoid you. One of my sisters have had some borderline symptoms.

Huh. Is it bad if I see myself in some of that?

[Lorsa]

I just have absolutely no idea how to do that anymore. I thought I'd made it clear. But it's like...she's expecting me to get some system I just don't
understand. She's either overly agreeable or outright nasty in conversations, no in between. And she thinks repeating herself is an acceptable solution to us not understanding her. I've tried to listen, but I feel like I'm being put in a situation where I'm always at fault no matter what I do.



The thing with noise is that she really does mean absolutely no noise, whatsoever, after 10pm. We're not talking "don't play loud music," we're talking "don't use the stairs, the kitchen, or any sort of plumbing after 10pm." That's...just not happening. Especially since I *know* she's in the same program we are, and we have night classes for crying out loud! Not all of us even can just come home and go to bed right away. Sorry, if you can't handle people moving around the house without waking up, you either need to buy some good earplugs or move out.

Agreed. You need to be able to move quietly around the house, visit the bathroom, sit in the kitchen and eat etc. I thought you meant she was upset that you were watching loud movies at 2 am or something. Being able to visit the bathroom is obvious.

If you have told her that you need to be able to have a conversation about this or else nothing will change I don't know what else you can do. Some people you just need to avoid, and whenever you have a prospective roommate, a conversation about communication and problem solving is the first thing that should be brought up.

Hello again, I posted here once before in a sort of vague frustrated blob. But this time I have a bit more of a specific insecurity.

In general I feel isolated. What makes this worse is I fell isolated even on these forums. I don't feel like I can make any sort of major interesting post that people will respond to. I spend a good amount of time reading the League of Legends thread and occasionally post there. But I don't really participate in the discussion, and I don't feel like I really know how. Mostly I'm not looking for advice on this but I felt like letting somebody know and this seemed to be the place.

With no offense to you, but if you have a general feeling of isolation your problem may be deeper than an online thread can help you with. The best you can do is try to find professional help. I know you're not looking for advice but there it is anyway.

If it's just a small temporary thing (and a feeling that doesn't return on a regular basis) then you've already managed to make an interesting post here that people have responded to! If you don't know how to participate in discussion, well, we can talk about that more in detail if you like. Actually, I would like that (it seems like an interesting conversation).

Some of you might remember me making a list of various greivances I had with my father. (ftr, that list just had SOME of the greivances that I could remember, and others have occurred since then) I've come to a conclusion in the 3 or 4 months since then.

I'm not just angry with him. I hate him. I hate him so ****ing much. Every time I think of him my blood boils and I start thinking about fights with him. If I die young I don't want him at my funeral.

I don't want to hate him - the guy is my dad, and lives in the same friggen house as me, it's not like getting angry with him is conducive to... well, anything, really. Right now I'm just trying to put up with him until I get out of this house. But I've been angry on a near-consistent basis with him for over a year now, so it's not going away.

While it's very hard to give any advice to you without knowing more specifics of the source of your hatred or your relationship with your father or how your interactions usually end up my general view of anger and hatred is that it doesn't do any good and the best thing to do is just let it go. Especially since you live with him for the time being. In the end, all you can do is to think about your own behavior, treat him with respect, communicate properly and if he doesn't then that's on him not you. Other people behaving poorly is no excuse for you to do the same and then in the end you can move out to your own place and feel proud that you are a better person than your father.

[Lorsa]

Huh. Is it bad if I see myself in some of that?

That depends what some of it is. You can always look up borderline online and see if it applies to you.

[HalfTangible]

Perhaps you could tell your father about these grievances, and you two could work those out. You know your father better than I do, though.

I've tried talking to him when the things I get ticked off about actually occur. He's made jokes and refused to listen to me like a reasonable adult. Which as you might imagine is only even more infuriating.

While it's very hard to give any advice to you without knowing more specifics of the source of your hatred or your relationship with your father or how your interactions usually end up my general view of anger and hatred is that it doesn't do any good and the best thing to do is just let it go. Especially since you live with him for the time being. In the end, all you can do is to think about your own behavior, treat him with respect, communicate properly and if he doesn't then that's on him not you. Other people behaving poorly is no excuse for you to do the same and then in the end you can move out to your own place and feel proud that you are a better person than your father.

*shrug* I can try. Probably won't work. I don't have a lot of self-control when it comes to him.

[Grinner]

Huh. Is it bad if I see myself in some of that?

The problem being discussed arises when a person is like that but doesn't realize that their behavior is unfair to others or simply doesn't care.

That question indicates a certain degree of self-awareness. As long as you can understand conflicts from other peoples' perspectives and moderate your behavior accordingly, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

[WarKitty]

Agreed. You need to be able to move quietly around the house, visit the bathroom, sit in the kitchen and eat etc. I thought you meant she was upset that you were watching loud movies at 2 am or something. Being able to visit the bathroom is obvious.

If you have told her that you need to be able to have a conversation about this or else nothing will change I don't know what else you can do. Some people you just need to avoid, and whenever you have a prospective roommate, a conversation about communication and problem solving is the first thing that should be brought up.

I think my fundamental struggle is that I feel like I can't say anything that she doesn't interpret as rude, and she won't say anything that's direct and clear enough for me to understand. It very much feels like we're speaking two different languages, except I'm getting blamed for not speaking hers. Even simple things like "can we sit down and talk at some point?" are met as extreme insults.

That and I feel like we just have wildly different standards of what constitutes reasonable. For example, she seemed absolutely shocked that any student would stay up until 2am and then get up at 10 or 11 in the first place. And she's expressed that she thinks the reasonable solution would be for us to be on her schedule - I get the impression that she thinks her 10pm-6am schedule is the "normal" one and we're being unreasonable by keeping a different one. I don't know if this is a chinese thing or what, but we're in a program that doesn't typically schedule classes before 11am and routinely has classes until 9:30 pm. We talked about the noise but it didn't really seem to do anything other than further convince her that we were being unreasonable.

[Ceric]

I'm Chinese-American and that doesn't necessarily sound like a Chinese thing. Heck, 4 of the 5 people in my apartment are Chinese, and 3 of that 4 regularly stays up to around 2am. (The one who doesn't has an amazing work ethic and is also graduating from college a year early. The rest of us are engineers.) The lack of confrontation, on the other hand, could definitely be a cultural issue... not that it excuses her at all, because the rudeness is just plain rude.

If she was a freshman undergrad, I could understand that maybe the students in her hometown acted similar to her and she doesn't have experience with a wider range of personalities. Well, she'd better get used to it. If she refuses to compromise with you then she needs to understand that nothing's going to happen, because she has no right to force you to her values and you can't solve this by yourself.

[Lorsa]

I think my fundamental struggle is that I feel like I can't say anything that she doesn't interpret as rude, and she won't say anything that's direct and clear enough for me to understand. It very much feels like we're speaking two different languages, except I'm getting blamed for not speaking hers. Even simple things like "can we sit down and talk at some point?" are met as extreme insults.

That and I feel like we just have wildly different standards of what constitutes reasonable. For example, she seemed absolutely shocked that any student would stay up until 2am and then get up at 10 or 11 in the first place. And she's expressed that she thinks the reasonable solution would be for us to be on her schedule - I get the impression that she thinks her 10pm-6am schedule is the "normal" one and we're being unreasonable by keeping a different one. I don't know if this is a chinese thing or what, but we're in a program that doesn't typically schedule classes before 11am and routinely has classes until 9:30 pm. We talked about the noise but it didn't really seem to do anything other than further convince her that we were being unreasonable.

Sometimes obnoxious people are just that, obnoxious jerks. Communication needs to go both ways for it to work. Just to be sure though, tell her that you and her obviously don't have the same culture and that you won't be able to understand her way of doing things so if she wants any results at all she will have to adapt to your level. But nevertheless, it doesn't seem like it is your fault and just try to push it through until she leaves. And then be more careful with the next roommate.

[Aedilred]

[QUOTE=WarKitty;15196296
That and I feel like we just have wildly different standards of what constitutes reasonable. For example, she seemed absolutely shocked that any student would stay up until 2am and then get up at 10 or 11 in the first place. And she's expressed that she thinks the reasonable solution would be for us to be on her schedule - I get the impression that she thinks her 10pm-6am schedule is the "normal" one and we're being unreasonable by keeping a different one. I don't know if this is a chinese thing or what, but we're in a program that doesn't typically schedule classes before 11am and routinely has classes until 9:30 pm. We talked about the noise but it didn't really seem to do anything other than further convince her that we were being unreasonable.[/QUOTE]
Well, a 10-6 sleep schedule is not entirely unreasonable, but it is unusual, and frankly it's none of her business what hours you keep unless you're causing her undue disturbance. Expecting other people to adhere to a 10-6 sleep cycle just because you find it convenient is absurd. In the UK, the law permits the making of gratuitous noise with car horns until 11, for heaven's sake.

In any case it's just not always possible to keep to that. As you say, you have late classes. That's not factoring in insomnia, needing to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, late nights to finish assignments, or just normal socialising (when I were a student, anyone cutting off a social engagement to go to bed at 10 would have been considered crazy). Obviously you know all of this, but anyway.

Normally I'd try to suggest some sort of compromise. In exchange for keeping the noise down after 10pm, perhaps you could get a concession from her (staying quiet until 8am). Working out a doctrine of "reasonable noise" in quiet hours might help too - for instance, no washing up, music or showers, washing machines etc., but using the stairs, entering and leaving the building, using the bathrooms, getting a cup of tea etc. is ok. I'm not sure in this case though that that would work, firstly because she doesn't seem to understand the distinction. You have to be able to use the house in a reasonable fashion at whatever time of day or night, though, and while it might produce some minor noise as a byproduct, that's inevitable. Secondly because of the communications problem that seems to prevent you discussing it at all.

I gather from your posts that there are three of you in the house - what does your other housemate make of all this? If they agree with you (or even if not), it might be worth trying to discuss this all together as a household, rather than one-on-one. If there are two of you, too, who think she's being unreasonable, that makes your position stronger. If the worst comes to the worst, you might just have to ask her to leave; it depends how bad the situation is. If it's just her being surly and complaining about your use of the house, that's annoying but tolerable, for a few months at least. If she's taking other unilateral action (throwing your things about, etc.) that's just not acceptable and she needs to be told so. After all, this is your house, and you're entitled to use it how you wish: she doesn't have the right to tell you how to use it.

[Chen]

But the noise? She seems to think it's completely crazy that me and the other roommate stay up until 2 or 3 am, even though we wake her up.

Staying up until 2-3 am and being noisy is not terribly reasonable I'd think. At least not during the week. I do recall you saying the person was extremely sensitive to noise though so being noisy can be relative. If you have music or TV playing loudly, that's unreasonable. If you're talking quietly in another room and your roommate has super hearing and gets woken up, they're the one being unreasonable.

edit: gah missed a whole page of responses that seemed to go over this already. My bad.

[Ialdabaoth]

Welp. This is it.

Rommates move out in 3 days; rent is due in 3 weeks; personal income is zero; personal assets sum to negative 2.5K.

I started looking for a job in earnest again, but after a discouraging round of interviews, I've lost all motivation to continue.

I can rationally acknowledge that if I just get up and keep trying, I have a chance at a job, vs. no chance if I just give up... and yet I'm giving up anyways.

I suppose this just proves that I deserve to be homeless.

[WarKitty]

Well, a 10-6 sleep schedule is not entirely unreasonable, but it is unusual, and frankly it's none of her business what hours you keep unless you're causing her undue disturbance. Expecting other people to adhere to a 10-6 sleep cycle just because you find it convenient is absurd. In the UK, the law permits the making of gratuitous noise with car horns until 11, for heaven's sake.

In any case it's just not always possible to keep to that. As you say, you have late classes. That's not factoring in insomnia, needing to get up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, late nights to finish assignments, or just normal socialising (when I were a student, anyone cutting off a social engagement to go to bed at 10 would have been considered crazy). Obviously you know all of this, but anyway.

Normally I'd try to suggest some sort of compromise. In exchange for keeping the noise down after 10pm, perhaps you could get a concession from her (staying quiet until 8am). Working out a doctrine of "reasonable noise" in quiet hours might help too - for instance, no washing up, music or showers, washing machines etc., but using the stairs, entering and leaving the building, using the bathrooms, getting a cup of tea etc. is ok. I'm not sure in this case though that that would work, firstly because she doesn't seem to understand the distinction. You have to be able to use the house in a reasonable fashion at whatever time of day or night, though, and while it might produce some minor noise as a byproduct, that's inevitable. Secondly because of the communications problem that seems to prevent you discussing it at all.

I gather from your posts that there are three of you in the house - what does your other housemate make of all this? If they agree with you (or even if not), it might be worth trying to discuss this all together as a household, rather than one-on-one. If there are two of you, too, who think she's being unreasonable, that makes your position stronger. If the worst comes to the worst, you might just have to ask her to leave; it depends how bad the situation is. If it's just her being surly and complaining about your use of the house, that's annoying but tolerable, for a few months at least. If she's taking other unilateral action (throwing your things about, etc.) that's just not acceptable and she needs to be told so. After all, this is your house, and you're entitled to use it how you wish: she doesn't have the right to tell you how to use it.

The funny thing is, a fair few of her complaints were perfectly reasonable - if she'd actually voiced them. The bathroom was messy, and she doesn't like us leaving laundry baskets in there? Fine, tell me and I'll move them. Cabinets full? That stuff was left here, I use it but it's not really mine, we can figure out some place to put stuff. But she never says anything to us until she gets mad and starts yelling about why haven't we done this or that or the other. She doesn't say anything when things bother her, even when asked, and then gets mad at us for being selfish and not caring about her desires.

She's actually already been asked to leave, but she's not going to and none of us have the power to get her out.

[TaiLiu]

Welp. This is it.

Rommates move out in 3 days; rent is due in 3 weeks; personal income is zero; personal assets sum to negative 2.5K.

I started looking for a job in earnest again, but after a discouraging round of interviews, I've lost all motivation to continue.

I can rationally acknowledge that if I just get up and keep trying, I have a chance at a job, vs. no chance if I just give up... and yet I'm giving up anyways.

I suppose this just proves that I deserve to be homeless.

Oh, dear. That's rather unfortunate. I don't have any ideas on how to assist besides suggesting the obvious 'get motivated,' but I hope it comes back!

[Ialdabaoth]

Oh, dear. That's rather unfortunate. I don't have any ideas on how to assist besides suggesting the obvious 'get motivated,' but I hope it comes back!

Yeah. I think, ultimately, the problem is that this is how I see my reality, while it appears that this is how the world sees me.

And you know, that's fair. There's more of them than me, and the fact that they aren't depressed means their perspectives are more legitimate anyways.

[dehro]

The one who doesn't has an amazing work ethic and is also graduating from college a year early. The rest of us are engineers..

made me chuckle.

@warkitty and
@halftangible

my advice, for what it's worth, is the same for both.
grab pen and paper and make a list of grievances/issues.
more specifically:

@halftangible, preface your list with a few lines on how you have trouble comunicating with him because he never seems to take your issues with him seriously and seems to think you're just being difficult or joking.
tell him what you told us and how that makes you feel frustrated and then list the grievances explaining point by point why they infuriate you so much.
mayhaps writing them down and re-reading them you might find that some of those grievances are unreasonable and that you ARE being difficult/spoiled/petty... whereas others will stick to your list and you should point out that you don't know what to do and how to handle them.
be hard on yourself as you compile that list. I don't know you, but there is a definite chance that some things on that list are there purely because everything becomes a problem when you already are fuming, and not because they are actually deserving of special attention on his part.
be as light as possible about assigning blame. keep the drama to a minimum.
ask him for help!
without knowing what the nature of the grievances are, I can only go by "standard relationship situation".. you are his son.. if you protest and act out, you're just being "at that age".. if you tell him you have a problem and ask him for help, he should want to give it to you.
if that help requires a change of attitude on his part, he might at least acknowledge that there ARE issues, which at this stage seems like a step in the right direction. If nothing else, it will at least act as a reference list for you to point at in the future and say "see? this is precisely what angers me/frustrates me so much!"
give your mother a copy also... AFTER you've given it to your dad, or she might want to try and talk you out of it

@warkitty.
apparently it's not just you but your other roommate/s as well. put your heads together and write down what you have identified as her main grievances. write down what causes them and whether you can and intend to do something about them, and to what extent. point out which ones you think are unreasonable and why, explaining to what extent she'll just have to live with them.
leave the letter as open as possible and explain it very clearly that you want to help her and that if there are other grievances that you haven't listed, this is because of comunication issues, and not because of spite or you having it in for her. ask her to complete the list if she has more things that annoy her. try to create a blank slate from which to make a fresh start, one in which you all collaborate to meet someplace in the middle or at least keep things civil.

[TechnOkami]

No on both counts. I told mom, but her response was that 'hate is a very strong word'. (In fairness to her, I've used the term rather frivolously before) Mostly, the hate seems to stem from various grievances I've had with him over the years that never got resolved. Heck, there's probably a lot that I don't actually remember, and that list is fairly out of date.

I've tried talking to him when the things I get ticked off about actually occur. He's made jokes and refused to listen to me like a reasonable adult. Which as you might imagine is only even more infuriating.

My sympathies HT. I too have a father whose incredibly infuriating to deal with, & never leaves me in a good mood when I do. I don't want to dislike him, but I do, & it's strong enough to the point that I really don't like talking with him either. I'm a little tired at the moment, but I'll post something later explaining my relationship with him in-depth for those who'd like to know.

[smellie_hippie]

[Begin rant]

So you ever suffer from the issue of being "so good" at what you do that the tide just doesn't ever stop? I am pursuing more responsibility in the job because it's the logical step in my profession (both for financial and challenging benefits)...... but I'm drowning. I have a hard time keeping up, getting paperwork completed and generally being available for my client's needs.

I swear I'm not trying to be an ego-maniac by tooting my own horn. I have to go on the assumption that if I wasn't doing a good job that my clients would opt to go away and see someone else.

Just wanted to vent a little bit... thanks for listening.

[Rant ends here]

[The Succubus]

[Begin rant]

So you ever suffer from the issue of being "so good" at what you do that the tide just doesn't ever stop? I am pursuing more responsibility in the job because it's the logical step in my profession (both for financial and challenging benefits)...... but I'm drowning. I have a hard time keeping up, getting paperwork completed and generally being available for my client's needs.

I swear I'm not trying to be an ego-maniac by tooting my own horn. I have to go on the assumption that if I wasn't doing a good job that my clients would opt to go away and see someone else.

Just wanted to vent a little bit... thanks for listening.

[Rant ends here]

*hugs stressed out hippie*

It reminds me of a quote from a Pratchett novel, not that quotes come from anywhere else:

"The reward for toil had been more toil. If you dug the best ditches, they gave you a bigger shovel."

[Aedilred]

[Begin rant]

So you ever suffer from the issue of being "so good" at what you do that the tide just doesn't ever stop? I am pursuing more responsibility in the job because it's the logical step in my profession (both for financial and challenging benefits)...... but I'm drowning. I have a hard time keeping up, getting paperwork completed and generally being available for my client's needs.

There's a saying - if you want a job done, give it to someone who's already busy. It's infuriating to be stuck in the middle of it, but so long as you're managing, try to take it as a positive. If you do need some clerical or administrative support, though, it might be a good idea to request some if you think there's a serious danger of making mistakes and annoying clients. That's assuming you have someone above you to report to: if you're self-employed, there's not much you can do short of hiring someone...

[Haluesen]

Well, I've been a forum-goer for awhile, and it has subtly helped me out, but this time I think I just need to let it out. I'm not sure what advice there is for this, I kinda just want to type. But here it goes anyway *deep breath*

I believe I am failing my online drawing class. I had a brief time in the middle of the class where I had to do some catch up work but since then I feel that for the most part I have done a good job catching up and getting things in, and the teacher says that is perfectly alright. Yet I still have a terrible grade, and this is the last day of the class. According to a message from the teacher, a lot of my work has been rough and rushed (it probably does work that way, but I really have been focusing and taking my time on it for the most part I think) and so she gave me lower grades on them, though she says I have the chance to redo some of them for more credit. I saw this about half an hour ago. It is now 8:32 over here. There may be a chance to redo one assignment, but these are drawing and she already said I got low scores for being rushed. There really isn't any chance, despite my fighting to keep up, to make all this right. And worse, this is my second time taking this class. I failed the first time due to my own procrastination, but this time I really tried my best with my assignments and critiques, and was only late for small scheduling problems. Yet still, all that effort just shot. I guess the failing hurts quite a bit, since other than this class I have very good grades. But what is worse is just the wasted effort. Yes I learned a bunch more, which will make it easier next time I try this (no way am I giving up). But I still feel like I wasted so much time trying to make this class work and just...crumpled under it all. It'll be even worse when my family finds out. My grandma I live with will be ticked, my mom will be disappointed, and a friend of mine whose house I go to frequently and where I did much of my work and even kept away from more the last few weeks for this class will also be disappointed, and likely show it very clearly. All in all...just a lot hitting me at once from this. And still I feel like my final project was good...and now I am afraid to see my grade on it.

That was a lot of writing for me. Although I guess some write much more. Another small thing I want to say is that me talking about my stresses at all is...well rare. To my friends it almost never happens. To my girlfriend I struggle with it at times, worrying about bothering here even though I'm not. And even doing all this online is pushing my comfort zone a bit. I don't feel like this is a world-ending issue, as I will be able to try again. But all this at once is just so much of a burden on my mind that I had to get it out somewhere. SO here I post it to mostly complete strangers on the board, though I know this to be a great place generally full of nice people so that helps a bit. I don't know if I'm really expecting a response. It'd be nice, but I'm not really looking for advice so much as just open ears (eyes, whatever).

Lastly, I want to say that I read some of this page before I decided to write this, and am glad to see that there are some people who really go at it to give advice or offer consoling words. Hopefully once my own worry is dealt with and I don't feel so blegh I can stay around here. Maybe help someone else. You never know right?

Alright rant done. *choke and collapse* Too...many...words...~

[TaiLiu]

Alright rant done. *choke and collapse* Too...many...words...~

Hm. Yes, that certainly is a tricky situation. However, if you worked your hardest at it - I assume you had - could your family and friends really blame you? You're working at it, and that's what matters, right?

[Haluesen]

Yeah I really did. At least I feel like I did, even if the teacher doesn't quite think so. Told my grandma as she understands. That's good. I dunno, I just had to let all this out. It was taking up too much of my attention, worrying about it. I think that is how I would put it.

[TaiLiu]

Yeah I really did. At least I feel like I did, even if the teacher doesn't quite think so. Told my grandma as she understands. That's good. I dunno, I just had to let all this out. It was taking up too much of my attention, worrying about it. I think that is how I would put it.

Oh, that's fine. This method of relieving tension is probably better than punching a wall or something. I wish you the best of luck!

[ShadowFireLance]

So, I used to hang out with this group of 'Friends' that I've known for about 3-4 Years, they went to my Church and everything, I invited them to a lot of parties, they invited me, the whole 9 yards.
Anyways, so, about a year ago, these two guys started coming to the School/thing I do, and they pretty much have stolen my 'Friends' to the point of stealing my girlfriend, which I've pretty much gotten over, but that's not the point, now, I'm never invited to anything, I pretty much got shoved out.

...So I guess i kinda wanted to rant or something. I dunno.

[Haluesen]

I'm sorry for your problems with your friends right now. I do wish I had some strong advice to give but I don't really know what to do in your situation, just that it will get better. You won't be excluded forever, whether that means making new friends or getting things back together with your old ones. Persist, because I promise it will get better. I hope for you very soon.

@TaiLiu Thank you for the words. My grade got a little better, not enough to pass though. Ah well I suppose. I get to try again next quarter.

[WarKitty]

Whelp, my roommate has succeeded in getting to me. What I was afraid of seems to be happening - she isn't getting her way, so she's stepping it up. The trouble is at this point I'm not sure what I can do. I feel like any time I bring anything up with her it's just an invitation for her to go on about how terrible a roommate I am and how she never said anything so she's entitled to act however she wants. I know it's only two more months, but it's at the point where I'm worried that some serious problems could come up (e.g. fire code stuff) and there would be nothing I could do.

[TaiLiu]

@TaiLiu Thank you for the words. My grade got a little better, not enough to pass though. Ah well I suppose. I get to try again next quarter.

Most excellent!

Whelp, my roommate has succeeded in getting to me. What I was afraid of seems to be happening - she isn't getting her way, so she's stepping it up. The trouble is at this point I'm not sure what I can do. I feel like any time I bring anything up with her it's just an invitation for her to go on about how terrible a roommate I am and how she never said anything so she's entitled to act however she wants. I know it's only two more months, but it's at the point where I'm worried that some serious problems could come up (e.g. fire code stuff) and there would be nothing I could do.

Oh, dear. That's quite the problem at hand!

Have you tried communicating with her in a non-direct way? Send her a text or e-mail, or perhaps write a letter and leave it on her desk. She can't rant at you when you're not there.

[Castaras]

So I had an exam today. I've got meds from the doctor for anxiety, been with accessability talking about stuff.

Panic attack.

Getting more stuff sorted.

I hate everything. @!$£ all that is academia related. Can't wait until I finish and go into the world of work proper.

[Chen]

Whelp, my roommate has succeeded in getting to me. What I was afraid of seems to be happening - she isn't getting her way, so she's stepping it up. The trouble is at this point I'm not sure what I can do. I feel like any time I bring anything up with her it's just an invitation for her to go on about how terrible a roommate I am and how she never said anything so she's entitled to act however she wants. I know it's only two more months, but it's at the point where I'm worried that some serious problems could come up (e.g. fire code stuff) and there would be nothing I could do.

What exactly is she doing? You tried being reasonable now is the time to start nitpicking when she violates whatever lease or agreement you've signed and try to get her removed.

Alternatively, take the offensive (ideally with your other roommate helping). Acknowledge that you're being a terrible roommate and if she keeps pushing you're going to become MORE terrible. Try to convince her a
"ceasefire" is in everyone's best interests otherwise you'll make her remaining two months FAR worse than she can make yours.

[dehro]

What exactly is she doing? You tried being reasonable now is the time to start nitpicking when she violates whatever lease or agreement you've signed and try to get her removed.

Alternatively, take the offensive (ideally with your other roommate helping). Acknowledge that you're being a terrible roommate and if she keeps pushing you're going to become MORE terrible. Try to convince her a
"ceasefire" is in everyone's best interests otherwise you'll make her remaining two months FAR worse than she can make yours.

and that's how they ended up on Judge Judy