Magic Sword: Fourth Edition Reborn

[Gligarman2]

So, I've done 5 out of the 6 Iconic Characters! Any requests for the occultist? What'll I be doing next?

PS: I came up with a money-making thing. We could host an online event in which the writers could write backstory or help aspiring DMs with world-building, and the artists could create character portraits and avatars. This would be for a small sum of money, and the people who paid would get some small bonus, such as a preorder of the game. Once PayPal is set up, it would be simple.

[Daemonhawk]

So, I've done 5 out of the 6 Iconic Characters! Any requests for the occultist? What'll I be doing next?

PS: I came up with a money-making thing. We could host an online event in which the writers could write backstory or help aspiring DMs with world-building, and the artists could create character portraits and avatars. This would be for a small sum of money, and the people who paid would get some small bonus, such as a preorder of the game. Once PayPal is set up, it would be simple.

I'd totally be up for this. Writing really is my passion, and this doesn't sound like work, it sounds like fun.

Tomb of the Forgotten King
That's the Google Docs link, unless you wanted me to share it another way.
I don't use Google Docs so I was basically fumbling around for a bit.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I'd totally be up for this. Writing really is my passion, and this doesn't sound like work, it sounds like fun.

Tomb of the Forgotten King
That's the Google Docs link, unless you wanted me to share it another way.
I don't use Google Docs so I was basically fumbling around for a bit.

I'll read it in just a second.

In the upper-right corner of the UI inside of every doc is a "share" button.

Please share the doc with my gmail account ([email protected]) and give me the ability to edit.

[Gligarman2]

Responses to my previous post? I eagerly anticipate Mr. Akins's response.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I like it. It could use a bit more lore, though.

[Daemonhawk]

Hey, thanks. I really appreciate it. Yeah, it won't be hard for me to get some more lore in there.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

So, I've done 5 out of the 6 Iconic Characters! Any requests for the occultist? What'll I be doing next?

PS: I came up with a money-making thing. We could host an online event in which the writers could write backstory or help aspiring DMs with world-building, and the artists could create character portraits and avatars. This would be for a small sum of money, and the people who paid would get some small bonus, such as a preorder of the game. Once PayPal is set up, it would be simple.

I'll leave you to figure out the occultist. After the Marshall, I trust you whole-heartedly.

I very much like the money raising idea. I hope to go through with it. How much do you think we could charge?

[Gligarman2]

I'd say we need a list of services before we price them.

[Daemonhawk]

Alright, I've finished up Tomb of the Unknown, I might make a few changes, but it's mostly completed. Can I also get a bit more setting info?

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Alright, I've finished up Tomb of the Unknown, I might make a few changes, but it's mostly completed. Can I also get a bit more setting info?

I like it. You will see that I've made some revisions, and I plan on making more. The fluff is not always in line with the setting lore (which is my fault).

Allow me to give some greater setting detail:

There are five known planes of existence: The Mortal World, The Grey, The Hedge, Faerie, and The Outer Dark.

The mortal world is a largely uncharted land of crumbling ruins, murky forests, ancient idols, forgotten tombs, walled-off towns, and broken cities being reclaimed and rebuilt.

The Grey is a bleak, near-colourless otherworld of cold, shadows, and numbness that overlaps with our own. It is the home of baleful spirits, skulking shadow people, living nightmares, and great steam-belching machines.

The Hedge is the world between The Mortal World and Faerie. It is a ruin-pocked labyrinth of thorns, inhabited by mad exiled fae and monsters grown fat on the intoxicating blood of faeries.

Faerie is the unknowable realm inhabited by the Fae, also known as elves and The Fair Folk. It is a tangled web of dreams and nightmares given semblance of life.

The Outer Dark is a mad, swirling abyss that exists outside of creation, and the home of sadistic, destructive beings known as demons who live in floating bubbles of diseased flesh.

Forget everything you know about classic D&D races.

Elves are mysterious faerie folk who seem to feel emotions more strongly than humans, and who never have a firm grip of reality. At best they are visionaries and artists. At worst they are nightmarish monsters.

Communities of elves will kidnap people. If they return, they will return decades later, changed, more like their captors than their kin. Most "elves" who live in the Mortal World were once human.

Dwarves are the grey-skinned children of stone who live deep beneath the earth. Their gemstone-like eyes can penetrate the darkness, and their rock-like skin can stand up to the claws of the many foul beasts that crawl up from deep below.

Halflings are wandering caravan folk, always on the move, never trusted.

[Gligarman2]

Any idea how much to charge for the fundraiser? It's nice elves aren't just always-right Mary Sues.

PS: It doesn't seem like my character fits with the Mortal World. Does he?

PPS: Has the google document been updated?

[elpollo]

Allow me to give some greater setting detail:

There are five known planes of existence: The Mortal World, The Grey, The Hedge, Faerie, and The Outer Dark.

The mortal world is a largely uncharted land of crumbling ruins, murky forests, ancient idols, forgotten tombs, walled-off towns, and broken cities being reclaimed and rebuilt.

The Grey is a bleak, near-colourless otherworld of cold, shadows, and numbness that overlaps with our own. It is the home of baleful spirits, skulking shadow people, living nightmares, and great steam-belching machines.

The Hedge is the world between The Mortal World and Faerie. It is a ruin-pocked labyrinth of thorns, inhabited by mad exiled fae and monsters grown fat on the intoxicating blood of faeries.

Faerie is the unknowable realm inhabited by the Fae, also known as elves and The Fair Folk. It is a tangled web of dreams and nightmares given semblance of life.

The Outer Dark is a mad, swirling abyss that exists outside of creation, and the home of sadistic, destructive beings known as demons who live in floating bubbles of diseased flesh.

Forget everything you know about classic D&D races.

Elves are mysterious faerie folk who seem to feel emotions more strongly than humans, and who never have a firm grip of reality. At best they are visionaries and artists. At worst they are nightmarish monsters.

Communities of elves will kidnap people. If they return, they will return decades later, changed, more like their captors than their kin. Most "elves" who live in the Mortal World were once human.

Soooo... it's the new World of Darkness?

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Soooo... it's the new World of Darkness?

Wait, what? No it isn't. My elves draw inspiration from NWoD, but they are also based on classic folklore. Other than that, there is little resemblance at all.

[Gligarman2]

I really hate to be rude, but could you look over my previous post?

Also, I do agree that the world feels slighty WoD for my taste. I would prefer one more conducive to grand empires. But, just my opinion. It is very cool and original otherwise, though. I might reinvent the elves and nix the planes, but it's your world.

[elpollo]

Wait, what? No it isn't. My elves draw inspiration from NWoD, but they are also based on classic folklore. Other than that, there is little resemblance at all.

If you replace "The Grey" with "Twilight", "The Outer Dark" with "Hell" (or whatever term you want, what with the nWoD Demons being less specific to Christianity), and "Elf" with "Changeling" in the block of text I quoted, you have the description of a Changeling: the Lost game using the Inferno book (and set in a crumbly ruin).

Whilst I understand that the White Wolf team were inspired by folklore, and your setting might have significant differences that don't come across in that small amount of text, I would be very surprised if I was the only person to read that and think "Changeling".

[TheWombatOfDoom]

If you replace "The Grey" with "Twilight", "The Outer Dark" with "Hell" (or whatever term you want, what with the nWoD Demons being less specific to Christianity), and "Elf" with "Changeling" in the block of text I quoted, you have the description of a Changeling: the Lost game using the Inferno book (and set in a crumbly ruin).

Whilst I understand that the White Wolf team were inspired by folklore, and your setting might have significant differences that don't come across in that small amount of text, I would be very surprised if I was the only person to read that and think "Changeling".

Actually, changelings were the things that were left behind when the faeries captured a child, not the child itself, if you were to go traditional folklore.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

Any idea how much to charge for the fundraiser? It's nice elves aren't just always-right Mary Sues.

PS: It doesn't seem like my character fits with the Mortal World. Does he?

PPS: Has the google document been updated?

I think your character could be adapted to fit.

I want anyone who wants to participate in the fundraiser to be be able to comfortably and easily afford it. Maybe, like, $5 for a drawing, $10 for a really big drawing, &10 for a detailed location write-up, and $25 for a fully fleshed-out short adventure with one or two drawings.

If you replace "The Grey" with "Twilight", "The Outer Dark" with "Hell" (or whatever term you want, what with the nWoD Demons being less specific to Christianity), and "Elf" with "Changeling" in the block of text I quoted, you have the description of a Changeling: the Lost game using the Inferno book (and set in a crumbly ruin).

Whilst I understand that the White Wolf team were inspired by folklore, and your setting might have significant differences that don't come across in that small amount of text, I would be very surprised if I was the only person to read that and think "Changeling".

Much of this is coincidence. I didn't actually know about the Inferno book, and I don't know what Twilight is in the World of Darkness.

I do admit that I - when coming up with the setting - drew inspiration from Changeling: the Lost. That being said, I also drew inspiration from the Cthulhu Mythos, Neverwhere, Grimm RPG, classic folklore, and other things.

The cosmology - in some cases - resembled that of the World of Darkness. The world itself does so much less. It is a setting about life on the fringe amongst ancient crumbling ruins, where towns wall themselves off from the outside world and must remain ever-vigilant against the darkness.

[Gligarman2]

How shall I modify it? Also, I really dislike the planes and the elves. I generally prefer a world with vast magical and technological possibilities, sprawling cities and massive mage towers full of intrigue. Just my opinion. The elves, (Also, just my opinion) are kinda NWoDy, which isn't really my thing. Just my opinion, so none of my ramblings have to be listened to. On the other hand, almost everything else is original, creative, and splendid, Mr. Akins. The complex and grey atmosphere is also very cool.

[Daemonhawk]

I personally love the setting, and although it may feel NWoD-like, it still manages to feel original and interesting.

What edits/revisions did you make, aside from the font and paragraphing?
And I'll start working on another, in a new plane.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I personally love the setting, and although it may feel NWoD-like, it still manages to feel original and interesting.

What edits/revisions did you make, aside from the font and paragraphing?
And I'll start working on another, in a new plane.

I cleaned up a few of the sentences as well, and changed the wording of some things.

If you changed the fluff to match the setting, you would be good to go. I want you to either remove the elves or change their role, considering the nature of elves in the setting.

What is it you like about the setting? What can I improve?

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

How shall I modify it? Also, I really dislike the planes and the elves. I generally prefer a world with vast magical and technological possibilities, sprawling cities and massive mage towers full of intrigue. Just my opinion. The elves, (Also, just my opinion) are kinda NWoDy, which isn't really my thing. Just my opinion, so none of my ramblings have to be listened to. On the other hand, almost everything else is original, creative, and splendid, Mr. Akins. The complex and grey atmosphere is also very cool.

I really like my elves to be how I wrote them. I think that incorporating empires into the setting would feel forced, so it shall now be done.

However, I also love the Eberron setting, which is full of vast empires and intrigue. Because of my adoration for it, I plan on publishing unofficial conversion material. You can use that.

[Daemonhawk]

I cleaned up a few of the sentences as well, and changed the wording of some things.

If you changed the fluff to match the setting, you would be good to go. I want you to either remove the elves or change their role, considering the nature of elves in the setting.

What is it you like about the setting? What can I improve?

I can swap up the elves, it'll actually work out better.

What I like about it is how unique the races are, and how they all feel different, and I hope this really plays into the mechanics.
You could improve on having a much more defined setting, but I think that will come out naturally as more locations are written up. My next area will be much larger, and give a better "overall" feel for the Grey.

One thing to note about my writing style, I tend to have unique way of wording things, but feel free to change them is you feel that it will improve it.

[Gligarman2]

How should I modify Farsight?

PS: Also, are you a brony, Mr. Akins?

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

How should I modify Farsight?

PS: Also, are you a brony, Mr. Akins?

I'll leave that up to you.

I am not a brony myself, although I do appreciate MLP:FIM.

[Gligarman2]

You said he may not mesh with the world? How can I make him mesh with the world?

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

You said he may not mesh with the world? How can I make him mesh with the world?

It was you who said he might not mesh. I'm sure you can make it it work. Create a Bond villain using the components given.

[Gligarman2]

What do you mean? I made the character already. We would fill some of it in as we played.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

What do you mean? I made the character already. We would fill some of it in as we played.

Alright. Whatever you want.

[Gligarman2]

I would say we may want to lower prices by two or three dollars, but I would agree with your analysis. Any names for the online event?

Great job with the world-building. The dwarves feel new and impressive.

[Chainsaw Hobbit]

I would say we may want to lower prices by two or three dollars, but I would agree with your analysis.

Sounds good.

Revised price list:

- Simple drawing: $2.

- Full-on awesome drawing: $4.

- 750-word location, NPC, monster, or item description: $3.

- Full-on short adventure with one or two illustrations: $10.

This is feeling a bit cheap. Maybe the numbers listed can be the minimum, and people can choose to pay more.