Dominic Deegan: Oracle for Hire, Mk. XLVI: A Tark of the Klones, Electric Boogaloo

[masterjoda99]

If this comic ends with the Orcs becoming the most magically dominant and perfect race ever, I will consider having read everything past the storm of souls to have been a complete waste of time.

Wait, you mean you don't already?

[Johnny Blade]

And he gave Gregory his first Supermage book. Which he wrote.

He later wrote a similar work together with Gregory, under the (somewhat out of the ordinary) nom de plume "AGE 8".



He also booed Snowsong off stage when she recited her first cycle of poems.

He attempted to throw rotten vegetables at her, but in a rare case of actually being affected by his blindness, hit a kindly old man who was there to support the young artists of the town and offer advice where he could.

The king laughed when he was told about this.

[multilis]

*Snuggly* wants to wipe out the rest. David just wants to have the magic at this point. His plan could be simply to get hold of the power, and once he has all the power to make a perfect world.

He may plan to stop Snuggly when no longer needed or he may feel ok to let Snuggly and rest of world fight it out as survival of the fittest. ("it is not humans fault if dwarves and halflings slaughter each other or snuggly and other races slaughter each other")

I think the *moral* suggested is grasping for more power corrupts, and that already does include the orcs as well, the orc tribes have already had similar "power hungry fools".

One unlikely but possible ending is that Snuggly succeeds to degree and rest of races are mostly wiped out (or have to flee to other dimension/world), at price of dark age for humans as well/end of civilization, and thus why we no longer have "unicorns", magic, etc...

[Rhapsh]

You know, it's nitpicky as hell at this point given all the other stupid stuff in this comic. But DJ here is all "only human wizards are pure/good enough for magic." So why is he okay later with allowing the beast to horribly mutate/mind control his personal human wizard army.

At least be internally consistent with your racial/species bias David

[T-O-E]

He later wrote a similar work together with Gregory, under the (somewhat out of the ordinary) nom de plume "AGE 8".



He also booed Snowsong off stage when she recited her first cycle of poems.

He attempted to throw rotten vegetables at her, but in a rare case of actually being affected by his blindness, hit a kindly old man who was there to support the young artists of the town and offer advice where he could.

The king laughed when he was told about this.

He said he liked some guy's cartoon about a snarky fortune teller getting hassled by people with mundane problems, and said he should do more.

[Rhapsh]

He said he liked some guy's cartoon about a snarky fortune teller getting hassled by people with mundane problems, and said he should do more.

He invited a couple of his friends over for D&D, and he was totally okay if they brought someone else with them.

[multilis]

"So why is he okay later with allowing the beast to horribly mutate/mind control his personal human wizard army."

He isn't ok at this point with humans going to war against others either, feels that was bad flaw in other races. So later he is a more evil person (or losing control).

On TV tropes page there are all sorts of tropes that could apply, several with "slippery slope", or "deal with devil".

[random11]

"So why is he okay later with allowing the beast to horribly mutate/mind control his personal human wizard army."

He isn't ok at this point with humans going to war against others either, feels that was bad flaw in other races. So later he is a more evil person (or losing control).

On TV tropes page there are all sorts of tropes that could apply, several with "slippery slope", or "deal with devil".

It doesn't count as "slippery slope" since the entire change was done in two strips, and most of it in about three panels today.
There was no time to develop his decision, no progress in his plan and it was not a good intentioned man slowly turning evil.

"Deal with devil" also doesn't apply, at least not in a good story telling way. There was no internal conflict, and the entire conversation was something like: "No, you're actually a racist", "Yeah, I guess you're right".

[Welf]

So it's canon now: there are no human racists, they are simply stating facts.

[Trazoi]

"Deal with devil" also doesn't apply, at least not in a good story telling way. There was no internal conflict, and the entire conversation was something like: "No, you're actually a racist", "Yeah, I guess you're right".

There's also the surreal element that Dave is making a deal with his own eyes.

Did I miss the explanation as to why Dave thought throwing his eyes into the Elemecca's trash heap was going to do anything?

As far as I can tell, it went like this:

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Dave: I must find the Heart of Magic again! I know! I'll cut out my own eyes and throw them in the cosmic garbage!
* years later *
Dave: Welp, better check on my eyes.
Eyes: 'Sup.
Dave: See the Heart of Magic?
Eyes: Nope
Dave: Well I'm out of ideas.
Eyes: How 'bout you let me eat everything?
Dave: How does that stop Callan from losing all its magic?
Eyes: Oh I won't eat the humans.
Dave: Weeeellll, that still doesn't stop Callan from losing all its magic. But apparently I'm a big racist now, so okay. Thanks eyes! I'm off to call orcs piggarts now!

[Oracle_Hunter]

Did I miss the explanation as to why Dave thought throwing his eyes into the Elemecca's trash heap was going to do anything?

Losing the thread of the plot within a week -- that has to be a DD record

Lemme see if I can't reconstruct the thought process:

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(1) DJ locates and sees the Heart of Magic (presumably through Second Sight) and apparently figures out that it is the source behind Callanian mystic dominance and it is going away.

(2) DJ raises this concern with the Apathetic Royals, presumably to get them to authorize him to do something. True to their name, the decide to do nothing for no discernible reason.

(3) Justifiably frustrated, DJ turns to the alien Archmagi for assistance in assuring the continuing magical dominance of Callan. While it is unsurprising that the Archmagi aren't interested in helping DJ directly, they also refuse to grant him access to their facilities without explaining why. They hint that With Great Power Comes Great Insanity but nonetheless don't bother giving DJ any concrete reason to stop.

(4) Without access to the Sanctum of the Archmagi or the resources of Callan, DJ decides to hatch his own plan. This apparently involves using his eyes as a "focus" (for something) and then taking them to the Elemecca which is a city-machine that filters the ten planes into "the world" and thereby keeps it in existence.
Wow that sounds really dumb when I type it out

(5) DJ then takes his eyes to the first Elemeccan Collection Chamber he finds and dumps them inside. Apparently they're now supposed to serve as spotters of the Heart's influence in the Elemecca rather than a "focus" to locate it again.

(6) DJ leaves his eyes there long enough to grow a kickin' chinstrap and then casts some sort of spell outside the Chamber. It causes him to be pulled into a pocket dimension where the "eyes" have apparently gained sentience and somehow built a world without disrupting the delicate balances of the Elemecca or triggering its repair magics.

(7) Instead of looking for evidence of the Heart of Magic, Snuggly has apparently turned Evil and decided he wants to visit a new world and eat lots of people. Using his piercing insight of DJ's true motives, Snuggly promises to only eat non-Callanians so long as DJ grants him the power of the Heart of Magic.

(8) Bolstered by Snuggly's bargain DJ decides to take over the Sanctum and the Kingdom as they both have materials he needs to locate the Heart of Magic.

I guess the whole "eye thing" was just something DJ decided to do in his spare time since he already knew what he needed to find the Heart and Snuggly's existence doesn't actually help him get either of those.

TL;DR -- DJ Callan caught a glimpse of the Heart of Magic through a Second Sight spell that blinded him. He realized he needed both the Callanian Royal Archive of Spells and the Archmagi Sanctum in order to figure out how to harness the Heart of Magic so he approached the Callanian Royal Family and the Council of Archmagi for permission. For no discernible reason both sides turned him down so DJ took his ruined eyes and threw them into the Elemecca for awhile.

Serendipitously, when DJ returned the Elemecca had neither digested the eyes or destroyed them but instead granted them malevolent sapience as Snuggly. Snuggly talked with DJ and convinced him to get the Heart of Magic to allow Snuggly to invade the world and eat all the non-Callanians. For some reason DJ agrees and then sets out to acquire the necessary materials to locate the Heart (i.e. the Callanian Royal Archive and the Archmagi Sanctum) without any assistance or pledge of assistance from Snuggly.

[Johnny Blade]

You know, it's nitpicky as hell at this point given all the other stupid stuff in this comic. But DJ here is all "only human wizards are pure/good enough for magic." So why is he okay later with allowing the beast to horribly mutate/mind control his personal human wizard army.

At least be internally consistent with your racial/species bias David

I call this hilarious, not nitpicky.

He said he liked some guy's cartoon about a snarky fortune teller getting hassled by people with mundane problems, and said he should do more.

"You should introduce a love interest." he said, "It would greatly enhance the story."

Did I miss the explanation as to why Dave thought throwing his eyes into the Elemecca's trash heap was going to do anything?

"Hmmm, I need to know more about this thing that orbits us, and time is of the essence. I know, I'll throw my blind eyes into a confined space on another plane, wait a few years, and then find out what they have seen."

Seriously, this is like...I don't even know.
There is not a single shred of logic holding any of this week's events together at all.

It's beautiful.

[elros]

I am amazed at Mookie's concept of right or wrong. Pretty much every single character that has taken initiative to do something has been evil. The only exceptions are characters that play heavy metal music (Greg), teach in a school (Miranda), or draw comic books. All the protagonists are wrapped up in emo and merely react to everything around them. Dominic and Luna are the ultimate examples of that. If it was not for the antagonists, those two would sit in a room and depress everyone who visited them.

Mookie also has a weird concept of "evil." He created a world where people think zombies and demons are "cool," and where even the Lords of Hell are regarded highly (Karnak). Even rapists are considered heroic (Stonewater). Mookie doesn't even consider destruction itself evil, since he created cosmic entities that do nothing but destroy (the ever-so-clearly named "destroyers"). And don't even get me started on the orcs! Their culture is a collection of abuse and closed-mindedness, but Mookie makes them out to be heroes anyway.
So what is Mookie left with? Racism and greed are the ultimate evils, followed by ambition. And for the embodiment of evil, Mookie has to resort to discarded eyeballs that have achieved sentience and (for some unknown reason) what to consume everything.

If Mookie uses this morality system for his next comic, all the super-heroes will sit around playing video games, listening to heavy metal, and avoiding meaningful work. And the villain will be anyone that tries to disrupt their slacker lifestyle.

[rocketpony]

(7) Instead of looking for evidence of the Heart of Magic, Snuggly has apparently turned Evil and decided he wants to visit a new world and eat lots of people. Using his piercing insight of DJ's true motives, Snuggly promises to only eat non-Callanians so long as DJ grants him the power of the Heart of Magic.

I didn't actually think about it until you broached the subject, but what exactly is King Dave getting out of this?

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King: Do you have the Heart of Magic (tm)?
Snuggly: I do not.
King: Do you know where it is?
Snuggly: I do not.
King: Do you have anything to offer re: the Heart of Magic (tm)?
Snuggly: I want it.
King: Talk to me about what you do with things you want.
Snuggly: I eat them.
King: I think this is a basis for an alliance of mutual benefit.

Is it really a "deal with the devil" if the basis of your deal is that you will turn the devil into a world-crushing machine, and in return, the devil will fail to crush your world in its entirety (maybe)?

[Wraith]

Snuggly talked with DJ and convinced him to get the Heart of Magic to allow Snuggly to invade the world and eat all the non-Callanians.

This is the bit that annoys me most. What the heck kind of argument is that, where you go along with such reasoning?

Snuggly: "Hi. I'm going to eat your planet."
DJ: "What, all of it?"
Snuggly: "No, just the three-quarters that you personally aren't standing on."
DJ: "This seems perfectly reasonable and I do not foresee* any lasting complications or betrayals."

* This may be a pun or just ironic. I don't care to dissect it any further.

How can you be smart and powerful enough to end up as the High Mage of Callan and Advisor to the King and Queen, and yet stupid enough to agree to this?

[t209]

Even rapists are considered heroic (Stonewater).

In Stonewater's defense, he's forced to do it in "consumating" his "new wife". Plus, Orcs were nice until the Siggy's dad came along and turned it into Dark Sun.

[Coidzor]

In Stonewater's defense, he's forced to do it in "consumating" his "new wife". Plus, Orcs were nice until the Siggy's dad came along and turned it into Dark Sun.

That's more Mookie being bad at writing though. Wait...yeah, actually, in Stonewater's defense, his writer is terrible.

[MReav]

That's more Mookie being bad at writing though. Wait...yeah, actually, in Stonewater's defense, his writer is terrible.

It was a tradition. Granted, it was a recent tradition, only 18 years old, but it is a tradition none the less.

[t209]

That's more Mookie being bad at writing though. Wait...yeah, actually, in Stonewater's defense, his writer is terrible.

Yep, his bad writing and failure to show that orcs are messed up by Sigg's dad earlier. Plus, I didn't feel anything bad about the comic (As in I enjoy it and did not see any mistake until I read this thread). I think I am becoming like my father to a certain extent when in watching movies.

[T-O-E]

"You should introduce a love interest." he said, "It would greatly enhance the story."

I just remembered that the King is apparently named after one of Mookie's friends.

How can you be smart and powerful enough to end up as the High Mage of Callan and Advisor to the King and Queen, and yet stupid enough to agree to this?

What made you think you need to be clever to be an advisor? Or that high intelligence goes with magic power (see Luna)?

[Wraith]

Being clever isn't the same thing as being intelligent.

A low, animal cunning would be suffiicient for the job, while also excluding Luna and alerting DJ to Snuggly's potential for danger.

[Coidzor]

Yep, his bad writing and failure to show that orcs are messed up by Sigg's dad earlier.

Those are exactly the same thing. You've heard of an asspull, right?

Plus, I didn't feel anything bad about the comic (As in I enjoy it and did not see any mistake until I read this thread).

Not exactly a glowing letter of recommendation that you, personally, didn't see any of the problems with the premise of Stonewater that caused such... contention. Or are you talking about the comic in general rather than that story arc?

It was a tradition. Granted, it was a recent tradition, only 18 years old, but it is a tradition none the less.

How did you get such... specific figures for how long Mookie has been a terrible writer? I would've been a bit more liable to cut 12 year old Mookie a bit of slack in that regard, I must admit.

[t209]

Not exactly a glowing letter of recommendation that you, personally, didn't see any of the problems with the premise of Stonewater that caused such... contention. Or are you talking about the comic in general rather than that story arc?

It's comic in general.

[SaintRidley]

How did you get such... specific figures for how long Mookie has been a terrible writer? I would've been a bit more liable to cut 12 year old Mookie a bit of slack in that regard, I must admit.

I think 18 years is supposed to be the amount of time calculated for how long it took for time to change things vis a vis the Orc nation devolving into various tribes. Because the timeline of Orc history as presented in Maltak was stupid and nonsensical.

Mookie's terrible writing is a ten year tradition, anyway.

[t209]

I think 18 years is supposed to be the amount of time calculated for how long it took for time to change things vis a vis the Orc nation devolving into various tribes. Because the timeline of Orc history as presented in Maltak was stupid and nonsensical.

Mookie's terrible writing is a ten year tradition, anyway.

All I remember is that they started out as tribes, with one tribe that made up of all the members of other tribes before their extermination except for three survivors, two orc and a human named Karnak.

[MReav]

How did you get such... specific figures for how long Mookie has been a terrible writer? I would've been a bit more liable to cut 12 year old Mookie a bit of slack in that regard, I must admit.

I was referring to orc society. The orcs becoming violent thing due to outside influences (and therefore consider forcing someone to rape an underage orphan to be an appropriate course of action) seems to only be within a generation.

The 18 number is just a reference to a Futurama episode about a sacred tradition involving an irrevocable duel to the death being only a recent thing (mostly as a commentary about the inherent silliness of such things).

[Coidzor]

I think 18 years is supposed to be the amount of time calculated for how long it took for time to change things vis a vis the Orc nation devolving into various tribes. Because the timeline of Orc history as presented in Maltak was stupid and nonsensical.

Mookie's terrible writing is a ten year tradition, anyway.

I thought the Maltak timeline was determined to be more like 10-11 years between the first war getting started by Karnak and Stonewater being 12-14.

[AgentofOdd]

If Mookie uses this morality system for his next comic, all the super-heroes will sit around playing video games, listening to heavy metal, and avoiding meaningful work. And the villain will be anyone that tries to disrupt their slacker lifestyle.

I can only pray we also get some starving artists. Then we can have Rent in Space.

[Shogo]

I thought it was already explained why Snuggly wants to devour most of the world?

Specifically, that the scraps it's gathered from the Elemecca aren't enough to create a viable world. So it wants to consume another world, and I guess crap out a world of it's own making. In other words, Snuggly just wants to play God.

As for why Snuggly exists in the first place . . . A poorly thought out spy program. Just hurling his eyes into the Elemecca and hoping they'd see some sort of trail that would lead him to the Heart of Magic.

It still leaves the problem of just why DJ agreed to work with it. As far as I can tell, it hasn't actually offered him anything. It was just Snuggly saying he's hungry and DJ agreeing to feed him for the hell of it.

I'm also pretty sure we're going to get a scene at some point where DJ is all "Wait. Wait. Wait. You mean you're literally going to eat most of the world? I thought you were just going to eat the civilizations I hate."

Because he really should get the implications of what Snuggly wants.

----------------------

And yeah . . . Maltak has a wonky history.

10 to 20 years ago the Orcs were a united people. Then they got pwnt by Callan. They got pwnt so hard, they forgot what they were doing before they got pwnt. So they decided to split up into a bunch of opposing tribes that kind of hated each other, rather then stick together and try to strengthen themselves in case Callan came back for another go.

Then somewhere over the course of a mere 10 to 20 years, each of these tribes somehow became unique snow flakes with well cultivated traditions. These traditions are almost universally dedicated to brutalizing their women.

For some reason, we're supposed to view the orcs as noble, honorable victims who are somehow superior to the people of Callan even though they're by and large sick, twisted bastards.

Oh, and for some reason Stonewater's dad got a ton of awe and respect for having once been a member of the grand, unified orc tribe. Even though, according to the timeline given, every single adult orc should have been a part of this tribe.

Bottom line? Everything about the orcs is beyond stupid.

[Trazoi]

Seriously, this is like...I don't even know.
There is not a single shred of logic holding any of this week's events together at all.

It's beautiful.

What makes it beautiful is that what Mookie is trying to do is clear and makes perfect sense - he's trying to write the backstory of Dave and the birth of the Beast while tying it to the basic facts that have has already been written. But because all Mookie knows to write for antagonists is random villain cliches and because he doesn't remember or care about his world at large, we end up with the last couple of weeks.

That's more Mookie being bad at writing though. Wait...yeah, actually, in Stonewater's defense, his writer is terrible.

Stonewater is a Mookinsertion so that is no defense.