[PitP] Ponythread: The Roleplaying

[Pokonic]

Wua.....Glory?


Nightcore, we need to talk.

Oh gods, the Nightmare isn't causing the end times ag-

No. It's about us.

Oh, what about....oh. So you finaly reached the logical conclusion.

Yes.

....

I know we agreed that I would not extend my own life unnaturaly a long time ago.

Or naturaly, for that matter.

Or divinely.

Or supernaturaly.

....

I know, if you want to do something...anything....

No!

...Glory?

Your one of the few beings I know that has yet to warp themselves into a shell of themselves!

...What about the-

I knew the your stint as a being of chaos was going to be temporary!

You did?

Yes, of course I did!

...

Glory, will you love me forever?

....

What kind of question is that, Nightcore!

I know...I know you know that magic messes things up when it comes to lifespans, but I don't know how long I will live.

I don't care-

But will you be there, even when I am some old crone huddled in some cavern or another, surrounded by pesky spry ponies intending to kill me?

No.

...What?

I will make sure that you will have your own castle in the north, and every pony in the world will know your name. It will be made of dragon bone and pony tears, and the ceiling will be of starstuff and our every whim will be catered to. Your name will be breathed in the same breath alongside Celestia and Discord, and your acts and power will be as known as Starswirl himself. The shards of the Elements of Harmony will decorate your frozen throne, and I will serve you forever and a day. Your arrival into Tartarus is the day the smoky crown of the great frozen beast that rules it sits apon your head.

I love you.

Will you leave me when I am feeble and forgetful? When my eyes fail and by breath slows?

I will. I want to see the pony you become, Nightcore. Age is just another word for change.

Heh, I suppose.

...

Hey, Glory?

Y...yes?

You had me at "pony tears".

...

Is there room on that plush chair of yours?

This chair? This princess chair? Of course there is.


....

Lets get married tomorrow.

...

Okay.

I also found a foal to adopt, if you want.

*walks in wearing full hoofball protective gear* What in Equestria was that all about?

[COLOR="DarkRed"]

...I think maybe I'll go check on how Glory's doing.

...

Daisy just climbs Mt Relgen until she manages to balance her entire body on his head.

Away!

"Meanwhile, somewhat above New Canterlot"

SISTER! I HAVE ARRIVED! I ALSO BRING THE ROYAL CROWN JEWELS AND THE ROYAL ARMY! ALSO, HUGS AND COOKIES TO CELEBRATE SILENTS DEMISE!


Gah, I hate this stupid Royal Ignian Voice. Ug, of course she's the one who finds it nessisary to use.


"Meanwhile, inside New Canterlot, a tiny dark shape pops into existance. It quickly pops out of it, destination unknown"

[Balmas]

This ship is the DERPY II, which not only acts as Professor Boffinspark-sama's mobile laboratory, but is also his primary residence. You would have to ask Professor Boffinspark-sama himself about the ship's technical details, though.
There are many shino-pinkie on board this ship, although it's impossible to say for certain how many of us there are at any one time. As for my mane, all of us shino-pinkies have manes like this.

"Well then!" The armor stuck a dramatic pose, snapping off a clanky salute. "Take me to him!"

"Meanwhile, somewhat above New Canterlot"

SISTER! I HAVE ARRIVED! I ALSO BRING THE ROYAL CROWN JEWELS AND THE ROYAL ARMY! ALSO, HUGS AND COOKIES TO CELEBRATE SILENTS DEMISE!


Gah, I hate this stupid Royal Ignian Voice. Ug, of course she's the one who finds it nessisary to use.


"Meanwhile, inside New Canterlot, a tiny dark shape pops into existance. It quickly pops out of it, destination unknown"

((Did we just have a touchy-feely moment? in Ponythread? ))

Blunt froze; "Okay. Time to leave."

[Pokonic]

((Did we just have a touchy-feely moment? in Ponythread? ))

Blunt froze; "Okay. Time to leave."

SISTER! WHY DO YOU NOT RESPOND! THE COOKIES ARE FRESH! I MADE THEM WITH MOTHERS RECIPIE, WHICH I GOT OUT OF FATHER BEFORE I HUGGED HIM TO DEATH! IF YOU WAIT MUCH LONGER I WILL HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO ALOW MY ARMY TO HUG THIS WORLD TO CINDERS!

(Also, yes we did.)

[Alabenson]

I also found a foal to adopt, if you want.

*sigh* Well, the good news for them is that, if they actually act on half of their ambitions, the differences in their lifespans won't be an issue after all.
...
Heh, they might even enjoy being locked away in Tartarus together for eternity.

"Meanwhile, somewhat above New Canterlot"

SISTER! I HAVE ARRIVED! I ALSO BRING THE ROYAL CROWN JEWELS AND THE ROYAL ARMY! ALSO, HUGS AND COOKIES TO CELEBRATE SILENTS DEMISE!


Gah, I hate this stupid Royal Ignian Voice. Ug, of course she's the one who finds it nessisary to use.

Hmph, nopony out-formals Princess Pyria. Ahem...

SISTER! HAST THOU COME TO MAKE AMENDS NOW THAT THE FIEND SILENT NIGHT IS NO MORE, OR DOTH THY ARMIES SPEAK OF MORE MURDEROUS INTENTIONS?

"Meanwhile, inside New Canterlot, a tiny dark shape pops into existance. It quickly pops out of it, destination unknown"

*Elsewhere in Equestria*
*Rabble Rouser hums to himself while he puts the finishing touches on a binding circle surrounding a russet potato, occansionally glancing at a hovering copy of Discord's Big Book of Crimes Against Reality*

"Well then!" The armor stuck a dramatic pose, snapping off a clanky salute. "Take me to him!"

Certainly! Follow-

*runs by screaming*
AHHHHHHHH! I WAS RIGHT! THE UNDEAD HUNGER FOR OUR BRAINS! AHHHHHHH!

-me.

[Pokonic]

*sigh* Well, the good news for them is that, if they actually act on half of their ambitions, the differences in their lifespans won't be an issue after all.
...
Heh, they might even enjoy being locked away in Tartarus together for eternity.

...

Hey, mister dragon? You are old, right? Can you tell me a story? I am too tired to inslave you right now, and you look like you know some stories.

Hmph, nopony out-formals Princess Pyria. Ahem...

SISTER! HAST THOU COME TO MAKE AMENDS NOW THAT THE FIEND SILENT NIGHT IS NO MORE, OR DOTH THY ARMIES SPEAK OF MORE MURDEROUS INTENTIONS?

Yes.

Er, THE FORMER, IF EVERYTHING GOES WELL. HIS KIN ACTUALY OWE ME TWENTY BITS FROM THE FIRST TIME I WAS HIRED TO INVADE BOFFENSPARKS AIRSHIP.

*Elsewhere in Equestria*
*Rabble Rouser hums to himself while he puts the finishing touches on a binding circle surrounding a russet potato, occansionally glancing at a hovering copy of Discord's Big Book of Crimes Against Reality*

"Poof, and also fire"

Wait, what the.....oh come on! Not one of you!Five minutes back home and I get bound to a vodca-plant. Just my luck.

[Balmas]

Certainly! Follow-

*runs by screaming*
AHHHHHHHH! I WAS RIGHT! THE UNDEAD HUNGER FOR OUR BRAINS! AHHHHHHH!

-me.

"...Foundry, could you remind me of the physical description we were given of the dear luna-blessed owner of this ship?"

"Grey. Blue mane and tail. May be wearing a lab coat and tinted goggles."

"That's what I thought."

"..."

"That stallion looked a lot like that, didn't he."

"Indeed."

"Do you think..."

"No."

"Why not?"

"If I accept that this is one of the greatest minds of our times, I think I may suffer some brain damage out of an unwitting sympathy for the puir lad."

"Ah. In other words, you're afraid that by acknowledging this as the real item, his stupid will rub off."

"Precisely! Hey, wait! Turn those off!"

"But the thrusters are much more fun, Foundry! And besides, we have to-ouch- catch up to-oof- him!"

"At least avoid the-hey!-walls!"

If the noise of a pinball tumbling through a dryer isn't enough to get Boffinspark to turn around, perhaps the tap of an iron hoof on his shoulder will do the trick. "Random mook!" addresses the faceless visor. "I request that you take us to your leader! Bwaaahaha! I've always wanted to say that! Shutupshutupshutup you're making us look bad *ahem* Mook! Take us to your leader!"

[Alabenson]

Yes.

Er, THE FORMER, IF EVERYTHING GOES WELL. HIS KIN ACTUALY OWE ME TWENTY BITS FROM THE FIRST TIME I WAS HIRED TO INVADE BOFFENSPARKS AIRSHIP.

VERY WELL THEN! IF THY INTENTIONS ARE TRULY PEACEFUL, THEN I INVITE THEE ABOARD!

Ninjas, ready the ship for my sister's arrival, and would somepony please find my husband and bring him here?
*turns towards the water elemental mercenaries*
It would appear we won't be needing your services, at least for the moment.

EKKE EKKE EKKE PTANG A-ROOP BOINGEN WEER!

...
Note to self; from now on I'm the one who handles hiring mercenaries.

"Poof, and also fire"

Wait, what the.....oh come on! Not one of you!Five minutes back home and I get bound to a vodca-plant. Just my luck.

Huh, I was expecting somepony a lot less...burny then you. Oh well, now to figure out what to do with you, my little hot potato.
...
Hahahahahaha! Hot potato, I kill me!

"...Foundry, could you remind me of the physical description we were given of the dear luna-blessed owner of this ship?"

"Grey. Blue mane and tail. May be wearing a lab coat and tinted goggles."

"That's what I thought."

"..."

"That stallion looked a lot like that, didn't he."

"Indeed."

"Do you think..."

"No."

"Why not?"

"If I accept that this is one of the greatest minds of our times, I think I may suffer some brain damage out of an unwitting sympathy for the puir lad."

"Ah. In other words, you're afraid that by acknowledging this as the real item, his stupid will rub off."

"Precisely! Hey, wait! Turn those off!"

"But the thrusters are much more fun, Foundry! And besides, we have to-ouch- catch up to-oof- him!"

"At least avoid the-hey!-walls!"

If the noise of a pinball tumbling through a dryer isn't enough to get Boffinspark to turn around, perhaps the tap of an iron hoof on his shoulder will do the trick. "Random mook!" addresses the faceless visor. "I request that you take us to your leader! Bwaaahaha! I've always wanted to say that! Shutupshutupshutup you're making us look bad *ahem* Mook! Take us to your leader!"

*Professor Boffinspark appears from around a corner, now strapped into what appears to be a suit of power armor*
HAH! No bumbling, possessed suit of ghost armor is going to eat the brains of this ponysane scientist! Eat pressurized holy water, you unliving menace! *fires a stream of cold water at Foundry/Curiosity*

[Balmas]

"Ack! Pshpfffle-glub!"

"You realize that the visor's still down; you don't have to make those noises."

"Spoilsport."

The armor shook, droplets flying off. "Aww, it's seeping in! The undersuit's getting weeeet."

[Alabenson]

"Ack! Pshpfffle-glub!"

"You realize that the visor's still down; you don't have to make those noises."

"Spoilsport."

The armor shook, droplets flying off. "Aww, it's seeping in! The undersuit's getting weeeet."

Huh, I thought being soaked in holy water would have produce a lot more "writhing in agony" than that.

*the pinknobi appears on the shoulder of Boffinspark's power armor and whispers something in his ear*

Really? That's...oh, I see. Um, sorry about that, I mistook you for a haunted suit of armor.

[Pokonic]

VERY WELL THEN! IF THY INTENTIONS ARE TRULY PEACEFUL, THEN I INVITE THEE ABOARD!

Ninjas, ready the ship for my sister's arrival, and would somepony please find my husband and bring him here?
*turns towards the water elemental mercenaries*
It would appear we won't be needing your services, at least for the moment.

EKKE EKKE EKKE PTANG A-ROOP BOINGEN WEER!

...
Note to self; from now on I'm the one who handles hiring mercenaries.]

"Infernia floats down into the airships hanger, her army following close behind and slightly confused"
Ah, dearest sister, I must ask how the...ahem...bun in the oven is going.

Also, how is Boffenspark doing, with his hate-idol dead?

Huh, I was expecting somepony a lot less...burny then you. Oh well, now to figure out what to do with you, my little hot potato.
...
Hahahahahaha! Hot potato, I kill me!

Weakling. I have had to deal with draconequui, and you are just something that one decided to play with.

"The potato bursts into unholy flames, and a vaugly pony-shaped part of the fire quickly melts into the walls"

Your a joke. Go into a cave somewhere and die, would you?

Huh, I thought being soaked in holy water would have produce a lot more "writhing in agony" than that.

*the pinknobi appears on the shoulder of Boffinspark's power armor and whispers something in his ear*

Really? That's...oh, I see. Um, sorry about that, I mistook you for a haunted suit of armor.

"It then ends up directly above Foundery, causing the area to be filled with smoke and melting hallway"

You think you could run from me?

....

Oh, hello uncle. Stay still for a moment, this fool was dealing with one of Silent's servants under Canternot.

Don't bother running, either, unless you want to have your armor melted on you. We need to talk.

[Balmas]

Before the smoke had even finished speaking, Curiosity was in motion, waving his hooves through the smoke and prodding it. "Yeah, yuh-huh. Hmm. You seem familiar; have I threatened you before?"

"The word is examine. Have you examined him before."

"Says you. And how should I know? Why do you think I asked?

[Alabenson]

"Infernia floats down into the airships hanger, her army following close behind and slightly confused"
Ah, dearest sister, I must ask how the...ahem...bun in the oven is going.

Also, how is Boffenspark doing, with his hate-idol dead?

Well, I guess there's really just no hiding it any longer...the due date is still a few months away.

As for Boffie, he's been keeping himself busy, what with his impending fatherhood, his research, his continued efforts to find new ways to blow things up with positive emotions...

Weakling. I have had to deal with draconequui, and you are just something that one decided to play with.

"The potato bursts into unholy flames, and a vaugly pony-shaped part of the fire quickly melts into the walls"

Your a joke. Go into a cave somewhere and die, would you?

Well, that wasn't nearly as fun as I thought it was going to be. *levitates a plate of pasta into the binding circle* Oh well, if at first you don't succeed, then twist the fabric of reality until the very walls of the universe scream in countless agonies.
...
Or try, try again, I can never remember which.

"It then ends up directly above Foundery, causing the area to be filled with smoke and melting hallway"

You think you could run from me?

....

Oh, hello uncle. Stay still for a moment, this fool was dealing with one of Silent's servants under Canternot.

Don't bother running, either, unless you want to have your armor melted on you. We need to talk.

Melt me in my...HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOU PONIES? I. AM. FIREPROOF. HEAT-RESISTANT. IMPERVIOUS TO ELEVATED TERMPERATURES. I'M MARRIED TO A FIRE ELEMENTAL PRINCESS, FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE! A MARE WHO IS COMPRISED PRIMARILY OF PRIMAL, ELEMENTAL FIRE! WHY IN THE NAME OF HARMONIOUS EQUESTRIA DO YOU PONIES CONTINUE TO EXPRESS THE OPINION THAT FIRE IS REMOTELY THREATENING TO ME?
*pant*pant*pant*
By the way, Charnel, you picked a wonderful time to visit as I believe you mother is here as well.

[Pokonic]

Before the smoke had even finished speaking, Curiosity was in motion, waving his hooves through the smoke and prodding it. "Yeah, yuh-huh. Hmm. You seem familiar; have I threatened you before?"

"The word is examine. Have you examined him before."

"Says you. And how should I know? Why do you think I asked?

......

You both are crazy.

Die now.

"A little black portal opens up under the talking armor, and a small piller of black flames erupt from it"

Well, I guess there's really just no hiding it any longer...the due date is still a few months away.

As for Boffie, he's been keeping himself busy, what with his impending fatherhood, his research, his continued efforts to find new ways to blow things up with positive emotions...

Ah, wonderful, wonderful. Just make sure you do not end up on the wrong end of his... plans. You must understand that we have had a strained relationship. I was ejected from his old airship more times than I am proud to admit.

...

Is it just me, or does it smell like....ah, is Nightcore here, by any chance?

Melt me in my...HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOU PONIES? I. AM. FIREPROOF. HEAT-RESISTANT. IMPERVIOUS TO ELEVATED TERMPERATURES. I'M MARRIED TO A FIRE ELEMENTAL PRINCESS, FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE! A MARE WHO IS COMPRISED PRIMARILY OF PRIMAL, ELEMENTAL FIRE! WHY IN THE NAME OF HARMONIOUS EQUESTRIA DO YOU PONIES CONTINUE TO EXPRESS THE OPINION THAT FIRE IS REMOTELY THREATENING TO ME?
*pant*pant*pant*
By the way, Charnel, you picked a wonderful time to visit as I believe you mother is here as well.

Are you....bah, it hardly matters, if your soul is harmed by it, I could care less.

Actually, uncle, thank you for that little tidbit. Also, you have a Discord cultist in one of the engine rooms, and he tried to bind me to a potato. I sensed Silent's presence as well. He's probably going to kill you or your wife. Or possess the fetus. Or corrupt it. Or just corrupt your dragon.

....

The cultist, I mean. The Discord cultist, not the...gah, just send a pony down and kill the beast so we can get back to me ravaging your soul so I can make a soul-jar.

....

Forget that last part.


"Smiles"

[Balmas]

Melt me in my...HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO KEEP REMINDING YOU PONIES? I. AM. FIREPROOF. HEAT-RESISTANT. IMPERVIOUS TO ELEVATED TERMPERATURES. I'M MARRIED TO A FIRE ELEMENTAL PRINCESS, FOR CELESTIA'S SAKE! A MARE WHO IS COMPRISED PRIMARILY OF PRIMAL, ELEMENTAL FIRE! WHY IN THE NAME OF HARMONIOUS EQUESTRIA DO YOU PONIES CONTINUE TO EXPRESS THE OPINION THAT FIRE IS REMOTELY THREATENING TO ME?
*pant*pant*pant*
By the way, Charnel, you picked a wonderful time to visit as I believe you mother is here as well.

"Well, strictly speaking what the little she-devil threatened to do was to melt your armor arou--"

......

You both are crazy.

Die now.

"A little black portal opens up under the talking armor, and a small piller of black flames erupt from it"

"-ou-ow-ow-ow-OW-OW!"

Caution: Suit condition critical. Containment failure imminent.

"Owies! And that's not-rrrgh- good!"

"The--ow--suit, or conta--Luna--containment?"

"Yes!"

Thank you for using the BCorp environmental rescue suit. If you're hearing his message, then unfortunately, you're about to find out when somepony dies. Once all unpleasantness has passed, please proceed to home base and report on your experience. Thank you, and have a nice day!

With that, the suit chars, cracks, and disintegrates, crackling to the ground along with the remnants of its wearer. Unfortunately...

Error... er1or... contaihmtne breakh... vildong comtegtns noooo...

With a whoosh, the reality extraction generator loses that last bit of cohesion holding it together and voids the contents of its bin: the compressed reality of half a mile of mountain, plus half a bulkhead. In the enclosed space, it can't be very pretty.

Meanwhile, two piles of glittering sparks float up from under the mound of rock now filling the chamber.

Look at us! We're all sparkly!

No! Dangit, no! That was my best body yet!

Well, you know, four hundred years in one body is nothing to sneeze at.

Says the shapeshifting, practically immortal draquonequus.

If I had limbs, I'd hug you. Besides, this can't be much worse than the time we met that thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot crocodile.

I still say that nothing that large should move that fast. "Sure, it's big and slow; let's poke it and see what happens!" Another brilliant idea of yours.

And we found out what happened, I recall.

Yeah. Pain.

[Alabenson]

Ah, wonderful, wonderful. Just make sure you do not end up on the wrong end of his... plans. You must understand that we have had a strained relationship. I was ejected from his old airship more times than I am proud to admit.

...

Is it just me, or does it smell like....ah, is Nightcore here, by any chance?

Surely you're not suggesting that my husband would try to use me as the subject for one of his experiments? While I admit he may be somewhat careless sometimes, my husband isn't a monster.
As for your prior...experiences with Boffie, you were working with Silent Night back then.
...
*sniff sniff*
That does smell like...YOU THREE, SILENT NIGHT'S DAUGTHER CHARNEL IS SOMEWHERE ON BOARD! FIND HER AND BRING HER HERE!

NI!

...
*sigh* Water elementals...

Are you....bah, it hardly matters, if your soul is harmed by it, I could care less.

Actually, uncle, thank you for that little tidbit. Also, you have a Discord cultist in one of the engine rooms, and he tried to bind me to a potato. I sensed Silent's presence as well. He's probably going to kill you or your wife. Or possess the fetus. Or corrupt it. Or just corrupt your dragon.

....

The cultist, I mean. The Discord cultist, not the...gah, just send a pony down and kill the beast so we can get back to me ravaging your soul so I can make a soul-jar.

....

Forget that last part.


"Smiles"

A Discord cultist? Bah, your necrotic-addled mind must have finally slipped, that cult died out centuries ago.
Also, you ravage my soul? HAH! What in Equestria makes you think you'd have any more luck trying something like that than Silent Night did? Now, either behave yourself, young filly, or I'll have to let you mother know what you've been up to.

"-ou-ow-ow-ow-OW-OW!"

Caution: Suit condition critical. Containment failure imminent.

"Owies! And that's not-rrrgh- good!"

"The--ow--suit, or conta--Luna--containment?"

"Yes!"

Thank you for using the BCorp environmental rescue suit. If you're hearing his message, then unfortunately, you're about to find out when somepony dies. Once all unpleasantness has passed, please proceed to home base and report on your experience. Thank you, and have a nice day!

With that, the suit chars, cracks, and disintegrates, crackling to the ground along with the remnants of its wearer. Unfortunately...

Error... er1or... contaihmtne breakh... vildong comtegtns noooo...

With a whoosh, the reality extraction generator loses that last bit of cohesion holding it together and voids the contents of its bin: the compressed reality of half a mile of mountain, plus half a bulkhead. In the enclosed space, it can't be very pretty.

EMERGENCY MATERIAL EVACUATION SYSTEM INITIATED
*several portals form and begin evacuating mountain out of the ship*

And Regeln said installing that was a waste of time.
Genius scientist: 1, Ludite dragon: 0

Meanwhile, two piles of glittering sparks float up from under the mound of rock now filling the chamber.

Look at us! We're all sparkly!

No! Dangit, no! That was my best body yet!

Well, you know, four hundred years in one body is nothing to sneeze at.

Says the shapeshifting, practically immortal draquonequus.

If I had limbs, I'd hug you. Besides, this can't be much worse than the time we met that thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot crocodile.

I still say that nothing that large should move that fast. "Sure, it's big and slow; let's poke it and see what happens!" Another brilliant idea of yours.

And we found out what happened, I recall.

Yeah. Pain.

...I'm not entirely sure what I'm seeing here.
...
Oh what the hay, would the two of you like me to build you a pair of new bodies?

[Balmas]

The slightly larger cloud of sparks condenses into a twisted shape, and Curiosity grins at the professor from under a pair of bushy blue eyebrows. "No, I think we've got it."

That's new.

"What, the claw?"

No, you've used that before. Don't think it's ever been purple, but you've used it before.

"Then, you must be referring to the lion's head?"

It's nice, but not what I was talking about. No, I mean that thing on your face; it's huge!

"It's a mustache. It asks questions."

I won't pretend to understand what you just said.

"Probably for the best."

It's kept me sane before.

"Sooo... what'll it be?"

Mmmmm... I've grown a bit tired of tasting doorknob. Let's go unicorn.

"Power level? Physical defects?"

Can you give me an eyepatch? And, say, a terrible inability to be caught on fire?

"Ooooh, I like that idea! What do you think, Boffie?"

[Pokonic]

Look at us! We're all sparkly!

No! Dangit, no! That was my best body yet!

Well, you know, four hundred years in one body is nothing to sneeze at.

Says the shapeshifting, practically immortal draquonequus.

If I had limbs, I'd hug you. Besides, this can't be much worse than the time we met that thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot crocodile.

I still say that nothing that large should move that fast. "Sure, it's big and slow; let's poke it and see what happens!" Another brilliant idea of yours.

And we found out what happened, I recall.

Yeah. Pain.

....What?!

Surely you're not suggesting that my husband would try to use me as the subject for one of his experiments? While I admit he may be somewhat careless sometimes, my husband isn't a monster.
As for your prior...experiences with Boffie, you were working with Silent Night back then.
...
*sniff sniff*
That does smell like...YOU THREE, SILENT NIGHT'S DAUGTHER CHARNEL IS SOMEWHERE ON BOARD! FIND HER AND BRING HER HERE!

NI!

...
*sigh* Water elementals...

Well, as long as you think you are safe...

Wait, Charnel? Dang it. Sister, I must say, I am slightly confused on how I should see her. I mean...she's my daughter, in some demension or another.

A Discord cultist? Bah, your necrotic-addled mind must have finally slipped, that cult died out centuries ago.
Also, you ravage my soul? HAH! What in Equestria makes you think you'd have any more luck trying something like that than Silent Night did? Now, either behave yourself, young filly, or I'll have to let you mother know what you've been up to.

I re-assure you that I was bound to a potato not a few minutes ago.

Actually, you could check. The pony is in one of the basements. Also, the soul-ravaging was a joke, uncle.

Besides, it's not like-

The slightly larger cloud of sparks condenses into a twisted shape, and Curiosity grins at the professor from under a pair of bushy blue eyebrows. "No, I think we've got it."

That's new.

"What, the claw?"

No, you've used that before. Don't think it's ever been purple, but you've used it before.

"Then, you must be referring to the lion's head?"

It's nice, but not what I was talking about. No, I mean that thing on your face; it's huge!

"It's a mustache. It asks questions."

I won't pretend to understand what you just said.

"Probably for the best."

It's kept me sane before.

"Sooo... what'll it be?"

Mmmmm... I've grown a bit tired of tasting doorknob. Let's go unicorn.

"Power level? Physical defects?"

Can you give me an eyepatch? And, say, a terrible inability to be caught on fire?

"Ooooh, I like that idea! What do you think, Boffie?"

...

"Whips of black flame attempt to bind the orb and the draconequus"

I will eat your souls!

[Alabenson]

The slightly larger cloud of sparks condenses into a twisted shape, and Curiosity grins at the professor from under a pair of bushy blue eyebrows. "No, I think we've got it."

That's new.

"What, the claw?"

No, you've used that before. Don't think it's ever been purple, but you've used it before.

"Then, you must be referring to the lion's head?"

It's nice, but not what I was talking about. No, I mean that thing on your face; it's huge!

"It's a mustache. It asks questions."

I won't pretend to understand what you just said.

"Probably for the best."

It's kept me sane before.

"Sooo... what'll it be?"

Mmmmm... I've grown a bit tired of tasting doorknob. Let's go unicorn.

"Power level? Physical defects?"

Can you give me an eyepatch? And, say, a terrible inability to be caught on fire?

"Ooooh, I like that idea! What do you think, Boffie?"

...
Wait right here, I need to go...someplace, to do...something. Yes...that's it, something that has absolutely nothing to do with petrifying you and hooking you up to my ship as an auxiliary power source.
...
That sounded far less suspicious in my head.

Well, as long as you think you are safe...

Wait, Charnel? Dang it. Sister, I must say, I am slightly confused on how I should see her. I mean...she's my daughter, in some demension or another.

Well, as you said, Charnel is your daughter, sort of. Perhaps you should try your hoof at parenting her, Hoofaestus knows she could use a little discipline and stability right now. After all, the last thing any of us need is for her to try to follow in her father's hoofsteps.

I re-assure you that I was bound to a potato not a few minutes ago.

A potato. Of course you were. *spins his hoof around by the side of his head*

Actually, you could check. The pony is in one of the basements. Also, the soul-ravaging was a joke, uncle.

Besides, it's not like-

...

"Whips of black flame attempt to bind the orb and the draconequus"

I will eat your souls!

Well, this can't possibly get any-

SHE WHO IS KNOWN AS CHARNEL, IN THE NAME OF KING FIN-TIM-LIN-BIN-WHIN-BIM-LIM-BUS-STOP-F'TANG-F'TANG-OLE-BISCUITBARREL OF THE WATER ELEMENTALS, WE COMMAND YOU TO COME WITH US!

[Pokonic]

Well, as you said, Charnel is your daughter, sort of. Perhaps you should try your hoof at parenting her, Hoofaestus knows she could use a little discipline and stability right now. After all, the last thing any of us need is for her to try to follow in her father's hoofsteps.

True. I just hope being some sort of half-negitive energy being....what was Silent, anyway?

..... Anyway, I just hope that insanity is not in the blood. I want to love her, I do, but I fear I will lose control of my...

Wait, I haven't told you for the reason for my, ahem, nohugging behavior. It's actualy all in a magical effect on the crown I am wearing. It stays on, that little urge is surpressed. Mostly.

Anyway, going from the distinct vibrations coming from below deck, I do belive Boffenspark has met his niece. I wonder what personality is in control of her now?

Well, this can't possibly get any-

SHE WHO IS KNOWN AS CHARNEL, IN THE NAME OF KING FIN-TIM-LIN-BIN-WHIN-BIM-LIM-BUS-STOP-F'TANG-F'TANG-OLE-BISCUITBARREL OF THE WATER ELEMENTALS, WE COMMAND YOU TO COME WITH US!

.....

Uncle. Draconequus. Glowy thing. Which one of you brought the water elementals?

Never mind. Ahem.

F'fcrah shaful wehposi ahks eqjhua!*

...

That came out wrong, probably. I have aquatic languages.

*Your leader is a lobster and I butter sauce!

[Balmas]

...

"Whips of black flame attempt to bind the orb and the draconequus"

I will eat your souls!

Gah!

"Now now, get back here. What will the children say if we die?"

I imagine that those which can speak will say something along the lines of Good Riddance, don't you?

"So negative. Let's get us into that body, shall we?" With a snap, a ball of play-dough rolls down his arm, and he begins to sculpt it.

...
Wait right here, I need to go...someplace, to do...something. Yes...that's it, something that has absolutely nothing to do with petrifying you and hooking you up to my ship as an auxiliary power source.
...
That sounded far less suspicious in my head.

Ah, you're such a charmer. I'm so glad that you appear to be a good stallion, of an upstanding character who would never harm his guests in any way.

.....

Uncle. Draconequus. Glowy thing. Which one of you brought the water elementals?

Never mind. Ahem.

F'fcrah shaful wehposi ahks eqjhua!*

...

That came out wrong, probably. I have aquatic languages.

*Your leader is a lobster and I butter sauce!

Not me.

...

Curiosity, you really need to find a new introductory gimmick.

"But if I don't poke them, how will I know what happens to them? I neeeed to know whether they explode or not!"

[Alabenson]

True. I just hope being some sort of half-negitive energy being....what was Silent, anyway?

..... Anyway, I just hope that insanity is not in the blood. I want to love her, I do, but I fear I will lose control of my...

Wait, I haven't told you for the reason for my, ahem, nohugging behavior. It's actualy all in a magical effect on the crown I am wearing. It stays on, that little urge is surpressed. Mostly.

Anyway, going from the distinct vibrations coming from below deck, I do belive Boffenspark has met his niece. I wonder what personality is in control of her now?

So you've finally found a way to control your hugging obsession? I have to say I'm glad to hear it, it will be a nice change of pace to be able to talk to you without your constantly trying to wander off and hug something.
...
Well, I haven't heard the OFC system go off yet, so it would seem Charnel is at least somewhat behaving herself.

.....

Uncle. Draconequus. Glowy thing. Which one of you brought the water elementals?

Never mind. Ahem.

F'fcrah shaful wehposi ahks eqjhua!*

...

That came out wrong, probably. I have aquatic languages.

*Your leader is a lobster and I butter sauce!

Ah, those would be the discount mercenaries I hired for Pyria in the event your mother attmepting something violent.

SPEAKING OF WHOM, YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES. NOW SURRENDER YOURSELF OR I SHALL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!

Ah, you're such a charmer. I'm so glad that you appear to be a good stallion, of an upstanding character who would never harm his guests in any way.

Yes...I'm definately those things you just said, as far as you know

[Pokonic]

Gah!

"Now now, get back here. What will the children say if we die?"

I imagine that those which can speak will say something along the lines of Good Riddance, don't you?

"So negative. Let's get us into that body, shall we?" With a snap, a ball of play-dough rolls down his arm, and he begins to sculpt it.

Ah, you're such a charmer. I'm so glad that you appear to be a good stallion, of an upstanding character who would never harm his guests in any way.

Not me.

...

Curiosity, you really need to find a new introductory gimmick.

"But if I don't poke them, how will I know what happens to them? I neeeed to know whether they explode or not!"

.......

I deeply hate you both. But I hate the blue one more. Tell me, was your little ghoul-friend plotting against me, or just Boffenspark?

So you've finally found a way to control your hugging obsession? I have to say I'm glad to hear it, it will be a nice change of pace to be able to talk to you without your constantly trying to wander off and hug something.
...
Well, I haven't heard the OFC system go off yet, so it would seem Charnel is at least somewhat behaving herself.

Perhapes.

I must wonder if she is able to play nice with her uncle. One must hope that the two can-

Ah, those would be the discount mercenaries I hired for Pyria in the event your mother attmepting something violent.

SPEAKING OF WHOM, YOUR MOTHER WAS A HAMSTER AND YOUR FATHER SMELT OF ELDERBERRIES. NOW SURRENDER YOURSELF OR I SHALL TAUNT YOU A SECOND TIME!

....Father smelt of rot and stars and mother was a fifty foot tall alicorn of magma and ash. Also, not until dearest uncle here calls you jelloheads off.

Wait a moment. You were prepared to...heh. Figures.

Oi, Tom Lodestone. Yeah, you, stashie. Your host was using Discord as a battery a few days ago. He has Celestia's super special friendship squad on speedile or something too, so I would suggest you run away very fast so to avoid a rock-based fate.

Leave the normalish soul, tho. Consider it a payment for the information given. Quaggtar is nice this time of year, if you want suggestions.

......

Actually, sister, would you mind if I cast a few dozen defensive spells on my part? There is a squad of water elementals aboard this vessal pepared to spear me alive while making stupid jokes, no?

[Balmas]

Yes...I'm definately those things you just said, as far as you know

"Indeed, I do know."

.......

I deeply hate you both. But I hate the blue one more. Tell me, was your little ghoul-friend plotting against me, or just Boffenspark?

Now hang on! What did I ever do to you?

"Maybe you owe her money?"

Wait... Fillies? Do you mean Athena or Pushing Daisies?

Oi, Tom Lodestone. Yeah, you, stashie. Your host was using Discord as a battery a few days ago. He has Celestia's super special friendship squad on speedile or something too, so I would suggest you run away very fast so to avoid a rock-based fate.

Leave the normalish soul, tho. Consider it a payment for the information given. Quaggtar is nice this time of year, if you want suggestions.

...I must concur with her assessment. Alabenson does tend to... destroy... his allies.

"Even the part where she eats your soul?"

Can we skip that part? I'd really prefer if that portion were skipped. And you can make my horn longer than that, you know.

Well, you may have to deal with shorter... other areas.

Eh... Yeah, it's still worth it.

"Short tail it is!"

So, what are we actually going to do about the dear Doctor?

"I've got a cunning plan."

...

I see. Truly, it is a brilliant cunning plan. He'll have never, in the history of time, expected to be hugged ferociously.

[Pokonic]

"Indeed, I do know."



Now hang on! What did I ever do to you?

"Maybe you owe her money?"

Wait... Fillies? Do you mean Athena or Pushing Daisies?


...I must concur with her assessment. Alabenson does tend to... destroy... his allies.

"Even the part where she eats your soul?"

Can we skip that part? I'd really prefer if that portion were skipped. And you can make my horn longer than that, you know.

Well, you may have to deal with shorter... other areas.

Eh... Yeah, it's still worth it.

"Short tail it is!"

So, what are we actually going to do about the dear Doctor?

"I've got a cunning plan."

...

I see. Truly, it is a brilliant cunning plan. He'll have never, in the history of time, expected to be hugged ferociously.

......


Perhapes, sister, we should flee for our families summer dwelling. With the powerful magical wards. For a few moments.

[Alabenson]

.......

I deeply hate you both. But I hate the blue one more. Tell me, was your little ghoul-friend plotting against me, or just Boffenspark?

My guess is it was the undead plotting against you. You simply can't trust walking corpses. In any event, I certainly wasn't plotting against you.
At least I don't think I was. I plot against so many ponies that I sometimes lose track.

....Father smelt of rot and stars and mother was a fifty foot tall alicorn of magma and ash. Also, not until dearest uncle here calls you jelloheads off.

Wait a moment. You were prepared to...heh. Figures.

Oi, Tom Lodestone. Yeah, you, stashie. Your host was using Discord as a battery a few days ago. He has Celestia's super special friendship squad on speedile or something too, so I would suggest you run away very fast so to avoid a rock-based fate.

Leave the normalish soul, tho. Consider it a payment for the information given. Quaggtar is nice this time of year, if you want suggestions.

You know, I had almost forgotten about the Elements of Harmony, thank you for reminding me! NOW BEHOLD YOUR DOOM AS I CALL UPON EQUESTRIA'S CHAMPIONS TO SORT THE LOT OF YOU OUT!
...
...
ANY TIME NOW, THE LOT OF YOU WILL BE SORTED OUT!
*a small portal opens next to Professor Boffinspark and discharges a single scroll*
What's this? Dear Professor Boffinspark, blah blah blah, hereby order you to stop bothering the Elements of Harmony!? SIGNED PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE?!
SHE'S A PRINCESS NOW? *looks up* Oh, right...
...
*points behind Curiosity* WHAT IN EQUESTRIA COULD THAT BE?
*runs away in the other direction*

......

Actually, sister, would you mind if I cast a few dozen defensive spells on my part? There is a squad of water elementals aboard this vessal pepared to spear me alive while making stupid jokes, no?

If it makes you feel better, by all means, but I wouldn't worry overmuch about the elementals my husband hired. I doubt those imbeciles could pose much of a threat to anything.

*Meanwhile*

I CAN'T SEE, WHAT WAS HE POINTING AT?

[Pokonic]

Charnel just looks at all the inanity around her, sighs, and sends a gout of flame out to envelop the entire hall.

*Meanwhile*

I CAN'T SEE, WHAT WAS HE POINTING AT?

You know, your probably right. I doubt anything could go wrong at-


Hey there missus pony princess! Are you making more of them in your tummy like the other fire pony is?

....


What in the name of our father is the abomination before me, sister, and why does it stink of rot and cookie crumbs?

I have not gained weight. It is pudge, and it is natural.

[Balmas]

[You know, I had almost forgotten about the Elements of Harmony, thank you for reminding me! NOW BEHOLD YOUR DOOM AS I CALL UPON EQUESTRIA'S CHAMPIONS TO SORT THE LOT OF YOU OUT!
...
...
ANY TIME NOW, THE LOT OF YOU WILL BE SORTED OUT!
*a small portal opens next to Professor Boffinspark and discharges a single scroll*
What's this? Dear Professor Boffinspark, blah blah blah, hereby order you to stop bothering the Elements of Harmony!? SIGNED PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE?!
SHE'S A PRINCESS NOW? *looks up* Oh, right...
...
*points behind Curiosity* WHAT IN EQUESTRIA COULD THAT BE?
*runs away in the other direction*

I CAN'T SEE, WHAT WAS HE POINTING AT?

"You know, I really don't know! I can't see anything either!"

You realize, I hope, that you just fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

"Well, of course I did. I have to keep at least some modicum of genre savviness, and that means respecting enemies' tricks."

...Whatever you say.

"By the way, you look extremely moist. What do you drink?"

I'll just get in the new body, shall I?

"Huh? Yeah, sure."

[Alabenson]

Charnel just looks at all the inanity around her, sighs, and sends a gout of flame out to envelop the entire hall.

STILL IMMUNE TO FIRE!
*continues running*

You know, your probably right. I doubt anything could go wrong at-


Hey there missus pony princess! Are you making more of them in your tummy like the other fire pony is?

....


What in the name of our father is the abomination before me, sister, and why does it stink of rot and cookie crumbs?

I have not gained weight. It is pudge, and it is natural.

Ah, yes, that would be the undead, adopted daughter of Silent Night's niece. You know, the grungy one who always dresses as though she were attending a rock concert.
...
And it is starting to look as though you're enjoying the Royal Cake Allotment a tad too much.

"You know, I really don't know! I can't see anything either!"

You realize, I hope, that you just fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

"Well, of course I did. I have to keep at least some modicum of genre savviness, and that means respecting enemies' tricks."

...Whatever you say.

"By the way, you look extremely moist. What do you drink?"

I'll just get in the new body, shall I?

"Huh? Yeah, sure."

Is that a draconequus turning itself into a water elemental pony?

Why I believe it is!

I told you we shouldn't have come to this plane. 'Tis a silly place.

[Pokonic]

"You know, I really don't know! I can't see anything either!"

You realize, I hope, that you just fell for one of the oldest tricks in the book.

"Well, of course I did. I have to keep at least some modicum of genre savviness, and that means respecting enemies' tricks."

...Whatever you say.

"By the way, you look extremely moist. What do you drink?"

I'll just get in the new body, shall I?

"Huh? Yeah, sure."

Why are you still talking?

Die or leave. Or help me kill Boffenspark.

One of you is a being of chaos and disharmony, surely you will assist me in assisting both your portfolios?

STILL IMMUNE TO FIRE!
*continues running*

Go to Tartarus to you too, uncle!

Ah, yes, that would be the undead, adopted daughter of Silent Night's niece. You know, the grungy one who always dresses as though she were attending a rock concert.
...
And it is starting to look as though you're enjoying the Royal Cake Allotment a tad too much.

This little stiched-together ragamuffan is what Nightcore and Glory have chosen to adopt? I mean, really now? Nightcore needs to let go of the memories she has of that wheezing corpse and move on with her life.

...

Well, I suppose I can see the appeal, in the "baby bird with a broken wing"
sort of way.
...


Sweetie, dont look at me like that, you might dry out what little moisture is left in your eyes. And I am not making ponies like missus grumpy guss over there, I have just gained some royal stature over a few weeks.

"Sniff" Really?

Yes.

Okay.

....

Tell me, little one, would you like to play "hug the older sibling until she begs for mercy, but not too tightly around the midsection?"

Would I!

Sister, you heard the little rascal. Run your chubby heart out.

Is that a draconequus turning itself into a water elemental pony?

Why I believe it is!

I told you we shouldn't have come to this plane. 'Tis a silly place.

Are you going to stand there, or are you going to attempt to kill me?

Either way, your going to die.

[Balmas]

Is that a draconequus turning itself into a water elemental pony?

Why I believe it is!

I told you we shouldn't have come to this plane. 'Tis a silly place.

"I think that you'll find it's actually a draquonequus creating a new body, not a water elemental. Completely different things going on here."

With a final slurp, the wisp of blue enters the inert unicorn body, and opens a pair of gunmetal grey eyes. "Things check out, so come on in."

Why are you still talking?

Die or leave. Or help me kill Boffenspark.

One of you is a being of chaos and disharmony, surely you will assist me in assisting both your portfolios?

The purple tail began to swirl around itself, like water circling a drain, before darting towards the unicorn. Curiosity had time for one more boop of Charnel's nose before the rest of him followed, gurgling into the new body.

"Surely," it said, eyes flashing orange, "you aren't one of those heartless speciesists who believes that all beings of a race are the same, are you? I would have thought better of one of my undead friends to be prejudiced like that. I'm Curiosity, after all, not Discord. It's bad form to mingle portfolios like that."