[PitP] Ponythread: The Roleplaying

[Tiki Snakes]

Well...I dont know you, spirit-creature. Are you one of Silents old....

Bah, never mind. Tell me, where are we? Actualy, preferably, are you planning on letting me go? Because while I do enjoy the little village around me, I am engaged to be married.

Silent? Uh, think I met him once. Tried to get me to join a cult, had to explain that our normal course of action would be to target such Cults as our prey, it was all a little awkward really. No, not one of his old anythings.

I am Princess Bleakmane and this is my homeland. Safe and sound, as it has been since I reclaimed it.

I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea how to unpetrify you. I'm not even entirely sure why that energy the scientist insists on mislabeling friendship radiation does this in the first place. I'm a Necromancer, not an Alchemist. More importantly, you're getting married? You realise you'll have to tell me all about it.

[Balmas]

Actualy, please, lead me to the anti-magic area. If I suddenly untangle into a knot of burnt flesh and blackened bones, just say a few filthy words at me. I would just be....resting, and I would prefer to conserve what little energy I have.

"Certainly. Please, follow me." As the purple pony moved through the ship with his fellow in tow, the decor abruptly gave way from white space-age paneling to a more industrial steel finish. They reached the brig in good time, and Blunt placed his claws on a scanner by the door. As gears clicked and hummed in the background, Blunt turned to the undead beside him, and said, "Now, you'll be very comfortable. With any luck, you won't even notice the passage of time." With the ghoul firmly settled in the brig, and the null-magic field firmly in place, Blunt sealed the door, watching it settle and lock itself, melding with the cube of the brig. He paused and considered, and then activated the air processing system as well. Even if the ghoul didn't need air, it was still a common courtesy. Besides, it wasn't like they were lacking for power.

*Also Meanwhile*
*static can be heard over the communication systems of Dive Bomb's airship, followed by the sound of somepony clearing their throat*
Translation Party Initiated: If I may address a one Blunt Trauma for a moment? Sir, it has recently come to my attention that you seem to be intent on providing shelter to the villain known as Silent Night, largely, it would seem, out of spite for my own employer, the esteemed Professor Boffinspark. I must question the wisdom of such a course of action, as, if I’m not mistaken, your employer has at times expressed his own animosity towards the undead miscreant in question. Also, I feel that I should mention at this junction that Silent Night is a wanted criminal in Equestria, and that harboring him would constitute a serious felony. With this in mind, is it truly wise to provide succor to a monster who, by his own admission, wishes to kill or corrupt all of our fair kingdom?
I trust you’ll make the correct decision in these matters.

Blunt chuckled as he listened to the message on his communicator before moving towards the bridge, and more importantly the communications array. Once there, he paused and cleared his throat. It had been a while since he'd spoken Ape1, and the accent was murder. After a range of vocal exercises, he picked up the microphone and toggled the switch for a return message.

"Oook.2"

1: Ape is a fascinating language, with over one thousand variant interpretations on Ook alone. For example, Ook can be translated as "Give me a banana," or alternatively as "Please remove that needle from my presence," or as "These translators have no idea what they're saying," or as "I demand a lawyer be brought to end this unlawful state of imprisonment."

2: "To the most respectable Igor, lord of the lab, artisan of the apes, and destroyer of bananas: Please forward such parts of this message as you deem fit to your employer, Boffinspark.

Regarding the criminal Silent Night: He is currently being held in custody in what may be called in laypony terms, an antimagic field. This means that any and all magics entering the area are nullified; no positive or negative energy, no portals, and certainly no undeath-sustaining necromantic spells. Thus, he has been rendered helpless, trapped, and contained. Should his mortal coil shuffle off, the spirit shall nevertheless remain trapped inside the area due to a number of spells and circles placed about the exterior of the container.

Also, in the future please remind your employer that while his portals may open very nearly anywhere, so do those of Dive Bomb. We have an intelligence by the name of Pinkamena.exe, specifically designed to reprogram the computer into which it is placed. If he will refrain from the grievous misuse of technology, then so shall we.

As a display of solidarity, how about a friendly game between second-in-commands? Pawn to e4.

Yours,
The Undying One
The Incredible Bulk
The Patchwork Pony
Thirteen-times winner and defending champion of the All-Equestria Pie-eating contest
Oh-Goddesses-I-Think-He-Saw-Us
The Left Hoof of Luna
Chief Minion
Chief Science Officer, BalmasTech
He of the Many Appelations
Blunt Trauma."

[Tectonic Robot]

Spoiler

Show

"Silent attempts to huddle under one of the angels wings, in a attempt to get out of sight from the rest of the crew"

Well... this is surprisingly easy. The seraphim's wings are rather expansive and easy to hide behind, and honestly, despite Silent's grotesque appearance, the angel doesn't seem to mind is proximity overmuch.

Spoiler

Show

"You really don't have to leave," Blunt said sadly. "We so rarely get visitors, and Dive Bomb's been working so hard to make things right with Equestria. Could you just give him a chance, for my sake if not for his?" It wasn't easy to pull puppy-dog eyes when your face has so many different parts to it, but Blunt managed.



"Look," sighed the patchwork pony. "I have no particular friendship with you. However, while Dive Bomb may pursue an alliance with Boffinspark, I cannot respect the good professor's methods. As such, you may have sanctuary on this vessel. The brig is a null-magic area, where the dear professor can't send his detestable portals. Would you consent to being placed there in the interests of protection?"

"Awwww... those eyyyeeeessss... OK, we'll stay!" Candles facehooves and pulls Sera's head close to his. "Look, our job is to get ponies out of here, as many as possible. Mr. Bomb might have had a change of heart, but he's still enemies with... well, I guess he's sort of friends with the cult, but he's enemies with the crazy scientist with the portals. It'll be easier for us to just slip away using our, uh, unique advantage."

Spoiler

Show

*Also Meanwhile*
*static can be heard over the communication systems of Dive Bomb's airship, followed by the sound of somepony clearing their throat*
Translation Party Initiated: If I may address a one Blunt Trauma for a moment? Sir, it has recently come to my attention that you seem to be intent on providing shelter to the villain known as Silent Night, largely, it would seem, out of spite for my own employer, the esteemed Professor Boffinspark. I must question the wisdom of such a course of action, as, if I’m not mistaken, your employer has at times expressed his own animosity towards the undead miscreant in question. Also, I feel that I should mention at this junction that Silent Night is a wanted criminal in Equestria, and that harboring him would constitute a serious felony. With this in mind, is it truly wise to provide succor to a monster who, by his own admission, wishes to kill or corrupt all of our fair kingdom?
I trust you’ll make the correct decision in these matters.

"Oh, and that's just creepy. The fact that some insane scientist can hear, see, and explode anywhere and anywhen he wants to. This is precisely the reason we should just leave and never show up around these fellows ever ag--"

Spoiler

Show

Candles? Candles where did you go? Thinking Cap shouted as he ran around the ship.

"--..." Candles has a bad case of the AWFUL GUILT TRIPS. "Never mind... h-hey! Thinking Cap! We're right here! Don't freak out, it's fine!" He hops over that-a-way to reassure the asylum-kept pony.

Spoiler

Show

"Certainly. Please, follow me." As the purple pony moved through the ship with his fellow in tow, the decor abruptly gave way from white space-age paneling to a more industrial steel finish. They reached the brig in good time, and Blunt placed his claws on a scanner by the door. As gears clicked and hummed in the background, Blunt turned to the undead beside him, and said, "Now, you'll be very comfortable. With any luck, you won't even notice the passage of time." With the ghoul firmly settled in the brig, and the null-magic field firmly in place, Blunt sealed the door, watching it settle and lock itself, melding with the cube of the brig. He paused and considered, and then activated the air processing system as well. Even if the ghoul didn't need air, it was still a common courtesy. Besides, it wasn't like they were lacking for power.



Blunt chuckled as he listened to the message on his communicator before moving towards the bridge, and more importantly the communications array. Once there, he paused and cleared his throat. It had been a while since he'd spoken Ape1, and the accent was murder. After a range of vocal exercises, he picked up the microphone and toggled the switch for a return message.

"Oook.2"

1: Ape is a fascinating language, with over one thousand variant interpretations on Ook alone. For example, Ook can be translated as "Give me a banana," or alternatively as "Please remove that needle from my presence," or as "These translators have no idea what they're saying," or as "I demand a lawyer be brought to end this unlawful state of imprisonment."

2: "To the most respectable Igor, lord of the lab, artisan of the apes, and destroyer of bananas: Please forward such parts of this message as you deem fit to your employer, Boffinspark.

Regarding the criminal Silent Night: He is currently being held in custody in what may be called in laypony terms, an antimagic field. This means that any and all magics entering the area are nullified; no positive or negative energy, no portals, and certainly no undeath-sustaining necromantic spells. Thus, he has been rendered helpless, trapped, and contained. Should his mortal coil shuffle off, the spirit shall nevertheless remain trapped inside the area due to a number of spells and circles placed about the exterior of the container.

Also, in the future please remind your employer that while his portals may open very nearly anywhere, so do those of Dive Bomb. We have an intelligence by the name of Pinkamena.exe, specifically designed to reprogram the computer into which it is placed. If he will refrain from the grievous misuse of technology, then so shall we.

As a display of solidarity, how about a friendly game between second-in-commands? Pawn to e4.

Yours,
The Undying One
The Incredible Bulk
The Patchwork Pony
Thirteen-times winner and defending champion of the All-Equestria Pie-eating contest
Oh-Goddesses-I-Think-He-Saw-Us
The Left Hoof of Luna
Chief Minion
Chief Science Officer, BalmasTech
He of the Many Appelations
Blunt Trauma."

"Hehe, that's a funny sound." The fascinating-ness of the language is easily lost, unfortunately. "Does that corpse-y guy need any company in your antimagic place? I could hang out with him, if he's lonely." ^^~

[Balmas]

"Awwww... those eyyyeeeessss... OK, we'll stay!" Candles facehooves and pulls Sera's head close to his. "Look, our job is to get ponies out of here, as many as possible. Mr. Bomb might have had a change of heart, but he's still enemies with... well, I guess he's sort of friends with the cult, but he's enemies with the crazy scientist with the portals. It'll be easier for us to just slip away using our, uh, unique advantage."

"Oh, and that's just creepy. The fact that some insane scientist can hear, see, and explode anywhere and anywhen he wants to. This is precisely the reason we should just leave and never show up around these fellows ever ag--"

"Hehe, that's a funny sound." The fascinating-ness of the language is easily lost, unfortunately. "Does that corpse-y guy need any company in your antimagic place? I could hang out with him, if he's lonely." ^^~

Blunt raised a finger as if to offer a clarification, but Candles ran off before he could say a word. He smiled gently as he turned to the angelic pony, and said, "Your desire to comfort the lost and lonely truly does you credit. However, you need not worry about the ghoul; time should pass almost instantaneously for him. As a creature animated by necromantic magic, being placed in an antimagic field should render his body inanimate and his spirit incapable of possessing anyone else. He did request a period of protection and rest, correct?"

Agh. Migraine. Migraine bad. Blunt rubbed wearily at his forelock. These were such innocent ponies; how had they remained ignorant of the cult and of Boffinspark? You'd have thought that between the lot, at least one of their homes would have been destroyed... "The relationship between the Cult, Boffinspark, and Dive Bomb is an interesting one. Nominally, we're neutral between the two, a remnant of Dive Bomb's past as a weapons dealer. However, Dive Bomb sympathizes much more with Boffinspark, seeing as both are mad scientists, and both have the good of Equestria in mind, if only in name. I, personally, find Boffinspark detestable; his methods smack of acceptable collateral damage, with little regard for the common pony or the consequences of his actions. Since Silent Night does not truly represent the cult anymore, I've taken him into custody. He should be relatively harmless inside the brig, though taking care of his offspring may be a problem."

[Pokonic]

Silent? Uh, think I met him once. Tried to get me to join a cult, had to explain that our normal course of action would be to target such Cults as our prey, it was all a little awkward really. No, not one of his old anythings.

I am Princess Bleakmane and this is my homeland. Safe and sound, as it has been since I reclaimed it.

I'm afraid I haven't the faintest idea how to unpetrify you. I'm not even entirely sure why that energy the scientist insists on mislabeling friendship radiation does this in the first place. I'm a Necromancer, not an Alchemist. More importantly, you're getting married? You realise you'll have to tell me all about it.

Huh.

...

Well, I would ask for a bit of chaos to happen, but this is a nice little village....

"Pauses"


No, a request for later. As for my marrage, it's to a wonderful....well, she's only shaped like a pony. I guess she's like...one of those things you occasinaly see on soapstone statues dragged up out of the Marelantic ocean. We...well, my uncle found her in Fleece when he and I were traveling there, probably to negotiate about cheese or something. She was in a temple, a rather nasty little temple, too far underground and to flooded for my tastes.....

Heh, am I rambling? Yeash, being a statue realy messes with the mind.

Anyway, my uncle found her dazed and confused, in the center of the whole complex. After a nasty little fight that...I realy cannot remember, I think it involved tenticals....the three of us came out of the temple alive. Silent loved the fact she could translate older forms of Equestrian, so he sent her off to intern in the Saddle Arabia cult headquarters. After about twenty years, tho, she requested a transfer over the Canterlot base, probably to amuse herself with the nobles bickering.


Anyway, long story short, I had to make a visit up there to make sure everything was in working order, I knew her, and eventualy I started taking vacations up there, and then went up there over the weekends....

It kind of excalated quickly.


.....


Her names Glory, by the way. She's been thinking about changing it, however.

"Certainly. Please, follow me." As the purple pony moved through the ship with his fellow in tow, the decor abruptly gave way from white space-age paneling to a more industrial steel finish. They reached the brig in good time, and Blunt placed his claws on a scanner by the door. As gears clicked and hummed in the background, Blunt turned to the undead beside him, and said, "Now, you'll be very comfortable. With any luck, you won't even notice the passage of time." With the ghoul firmly settled in the brig, and the null-magic field firmly in place, Blunt sealed the door, watching it settle and lock itself, melding with the cube of the brig. He paused and considered, and then activated the air processing system as well. Even if the ghoul didn't need air, it was still a common courtesy. Besides, it wasn't like they were lacking for power.

Well, it's cozy. Cold, white, and airless.


Its just like home!

.....

Well, might as well let myself rest. I mean, I suppose I am not recovering any time soon. Perhapes a week or two of sleep would be nice to think about things.

"After a few moments, Silents entire body collapses into a pile of bone shards and charred gibbly bits. His boat-light eyes goes out."

[Forum Explorer]

"--..." Candles has a bad case of the AWFUL GUILT TRIPS. "Never mind... h-hey! Thinking Cap! We're right here! Don't freak out, it's fine!" He hops over that-a-way to reassure the asylum-kept pony.

Thinking Cap gives Candles a big hug, Oh thank Celestia! For a second there I thought I was all alone with all these crazy ponies! After a second Thinking Cap steps back and blushes Sorry about the whole, umm, yelling and sudden hug thing.

[Tectonic Robot]

Blunt raised a finger as if to offer a clarification, but Candles ran off before he could say a word. He smiled gently as he turned to the angelic pony, and said, "Your desire to comfort the lost and lonely truly does you credit. However, you need not worry about the ghoul; time should pass almost instantaneously for him. As a creature animated by necromantic magic, being placed in an antimagic field should render his body inanimate and his spirit incapable of possessing anyone else. He did request a period of protection and rest, correct?"

Agh. Migraine. Migraine bad. Blunt rubbed wearily at his forelock. These were such innocent ponies; how had they remained ignorant of the cult and of Boffinspark? You'd have thought that between the lot, at least one of their homes would have been destroyed... "The relationship between the Cult, Boffinspark, and Dive Bomb is an interesting one. Nominally, we're neutral between the two, a remnant of Dive Bomb's past as a weapons dealer. However, Dive Bomb sympathizes much more with Boffinspark, seeing as both are mad scientists, and both have the good of Equestria in mind, if only in name. I, personally, find Boffinspark detestable; his methods smack of acceptable collateral damage, with little regard for the common pony or the consequences of his actions. Since Silent Night does not truly represent the cult anymore, I've taken him into custody. He should be relatively harmless inside the brig, though taking care of his offspring may be a problem."

"Oh.... well, thank you, Mr. Blunt." Sera hesitates, then trots over and gives the big mish-mash pony a hug~

Thinking Cap gives Candles a big hug, Oh thank Celestia! For a second there I thought I was all alone with all these crazy ponies! After a second Thinking Cap steps back and blushes Sorry about the whole, umm, yelling and sudden hug thing.

"Ack!" Candles blinks several times, then chuckles quietly, wiping some sweat from his brow. "No, no... it's fine." Candles steps forehead and hugs Thinking Cap back, giving him a few reassuring pats on the back.

((Mah ponies be huggy. >.o))

[Balmas]

The purple pony smiled as he looked at the angelic pony, and eagerly returned the embrace. It had been a long time since any contact like that was made by anyone outside his own circle of dysfunctional family. "Thank you," he said quietly.

[Tectonic Robot]

"Aw, don't mention it. Hugs are for everyone!" ^_^

[Tiki Snakes]

Huh.

...

Well, I would ask for a bit of chaos to happen, but this is a nice little village....

"Pauses"


No, a request for later. As for my marrage, it's to a wonderful....well, she's only shaped like a pony. I guess she's like...one of those things you occasinaly see on soapstone statues dragged up out of the Marelantic ocean. We...well, my uncle found her in Fleece when he and I were traveling there, probably to negotiate about cheese or something. She was in a temple, a rather nasty little temple, too far underground and to flooded for my tastes.....

Heh, am I rambling? Yeash, being a statue realy messes with the mind.

Anyway, my uncle found her dazed and confused, in the center of the whole complex. After a nasty little fight that...I realy cannot remember, I think it involved tenticals....the three of us came out of the temple alive. Silent loved the fact she could translate older forms of Equestrian, so he sent her off to intern in the Saddle Arabia cult headquarters. After about twenty years, tho, she requested a transfer over the Canterlot base, probably to amuse herself with the nobles bickering.


Anyway, long story short, I had to make a visit up there to make sure everything was in working order, I knew her, and eventualy I started taking vacations up there, and then went up there over the weekends....

It kind of excalated quickly.


.....


Her names Glory, by the way. She's been thinking about changing it, however.

Aaw. That's really quite touching. Look, I'm no expert but here are a couple of things to think about. Don't you find it strange that firing something that looks like the magic created by the elements of harmony at a reality warper seems to work just as well as using the magical items themselves and still seems to cause petrification?
Do you honestly believe that the concept of Friendship emits energy waves or exists in the form of particles? Or that companionship is innately harmful to the undead?

Is there somewhere you'd like me to drop you off?

[Tectonic Robot]

Some time later, Candles and Sera reunite to discuss things!

"So... um, what are we doing now, exactly?" Sera blushes slightly and scratches the back of her head, giggling nervously. "I sort of... forgot what we're doing on this airship, heh." Candles, for his part, is looking rather exhausted as he leans against a handy bit of railing. "This ship is heading to Canterlot, I think. After we get there, Mr. Blunt is taking us to meet Mr. Bomb. At least, that's the impression from him..." He massages his temples, groaning to himself. "Trying to fly under the radar, and now we've got the attention of a crazy fire pony, a crazy science pony, a crazy cult pony, and a maybe ex-crazy bomb pony. We're really good at this sneaking business, aren't we?"

[Pokonic]

Aaw. That's really quite touching. Look, I'm no expert but here are a couple of things to think about. Don't you find it strange that firing something that looks like the magic created by the elements of harmony at a reality warper seems to work just as well as using the magical items themselves and still seems to cause petrification?
Do you honestly believe that the concept of Friendship emits energy waves or exists in the form of particles? Or that companionship is innately harmful to the undead?

Is there somewhere you'd like me to drop you off?

Actualy, I was never into that whole "science" stuff. I was raised on old books and with a strong understanding that if you want the universe to do something, you throw inslaved souls at it until the shreaking causes it to give and and do what you want. I always thought Boffensparks energy was fake, artificial magic, and it is. Unlike true positive energy, it eventualy dissapates.

Also, can you drop me off in Llamabad? I think there done with rebuilding now, and there might be food riots.

.....

Wait, what is the date, exactly? I might miss the annual cult Nightmare Night party. Say what you will for a group of sadistic nhillists who wish for a creature of pure evil to engulf the cosmos, there fantastic. Who would have guessed a group of ghouls, zombies, necromancers, ghosts, and all other sorts of beings could throw a wicked party?

"Meanwhile"

Well, deary me, I seemed to be trapped. Curse his politeness.

...

Wait. Nightmare Night is coming up. Muahahaha! The amount of power I shall gain from the holy day of my goddess will surly be enough to break out of this tastefuly minimalistic prison!

[Balmas]

Uuuuugh... Groaning, the little filly rolled over. "My head... Daddy, make the gnomes go away; their anvils make my head hurt..." Groggily, she got to her feet. "And why is the world spinning more than it's usually supposed to do?"

She stumbled her way down a white hallway, but halted as her less-than-stellar perception caught a glimpse of the BalmasTech logo, imprinted on a brass doorknob. Bleary eyes stared at blue enamel, and she nosed the door open.

"Who're you?" she wondered, staring at the two ponies; one looked plain enough, but the other... an angel? Could be trouble when the time came.

[Tectonic Robot]

Uuuuugh... Groaning, the little filly rolled over. "My head... Daddy, make the gnomes go away; their anvils make my head hurt..." Groggily, she got to her feet. "And why is the world spinning more than it's usually supposed to do?"

She stumbled her way down a white hallway, but halted as her less-than-stellar perception caught a glimpse of the BalmasTech logo, imprinted on a brass doorknob. Bleary eyes stared at blue enamel, and she nosed the door open.

"Who're you?" she wondered, staring at the two ponies; one looked plain enough, but the other... an angel? Could be trouble when the time came.

"Oh, aren't you cute~" Sera smiles at the (alicorn, right?) filly, then frowns, her brow furrowed in concentration. After a few moments, an intense yellow glow begins to slip out from between her feathers, then localized in the air in front of her. After a few more seconds of effort, there's a *pvvhaat* sound, and a small glass bowl filled with chocolate pudding, along with a matching spoon poof out of the air. Sera picks it up and offers it to the filly, but then cuts a sidelong glance at Candles. "I suppose she's a world ending danger, too?" Candles shrugs sheepishly. "Haven't heard of her..."

[Balmas]

The bleariness left Athena's eyes as she stared at the chocolate; if these ponies would keep giving her chocolate, she could probably afford to keep them around in the new world order. Maybe they could teach her how to conjure chocolate?

She squealed with delight and leapt forward. "I'm Athena," she said brightly, as she reached out for the spoon. She frowned, but the spoon wouldn't lift, despite her mental efforts to the contrary; not a single spark shot from her new horn. She shrugged, and began to eat.

Lifting a brown-stained muzzle from the bowl, the little alicorn smiled at the pair. "I'm not trying to destroy the world; I'm trying to save it."

[Tectonic Robot]

The bleariness left Athena's eyes as she stared at the chocolate; if these ponies would keep giving her chocolate, she could probably afford to keep them around in the new world order. Maybe they could teach her how to conjure chocolate?

She squealed with delight and leapt forward. "I'm Athena," she said brightly, as she reached out for the spoon. She frowned, but the spoon wouldn't lift, despite her mental efforts to the contrary; not a single spark shot from her new horn. She shrugged, and began to eat.

Lifting a brown-stained muzzle from the bowl, the little alicorn smiled at the pair. "I'm not trying to destroy the world; I'm trying to save it."

Candles' twitches a bit at that, but Sera only smiles and nudges him. "See? The ickle alicorn filly wants to save the world! Isn't that nice~?" Candles hums, looking at Athena for a few more moments. "You know, I wouldn't be surprised if she was some sort of megalomaniacal super pony underneath that little filly exterior..." This sentiment, however, only awards him bops on the head from Sera. :<

[Balmas]

The filly giggled, wiping chocolate from her mouth. "How do you do that?" she said eagerly, standing up on two hooves and placing the other two imploringly on the angel's chest. "Can you teach me? I can promise you good spots in the new world order!"

[Forum Explorer]

....thanks. Thinking Cap blushed again. Anyways I'm going to go talk to Blunt about what we can expect at Canterlot. Want to meet up for lunch, er I guess dinner actually, in the mess hall later?





Thinking Cap makes his way to where he saw Blunt last and looks around. Hey Blunt? I wanted to talk about Canterlot.

[Pokonic]

"Meanwhile, in the Canterlot Ruins, a strange melody , as if played by a ghostly band, can be heard. It slowly grows in volume as the night goes on"

Sooon, yes....Soooon, my mistress will set me free!

[Balmas]

Thinking Cap makes his way to where he saw Blunt last and looks around. Hey Blunt? I wanted to talk about Canterlot.

Blunt turned from his position at the ship's wheel. Foundry Steel sulked as he manned the communications array, occasionally running an affectionate hoof over the main targeting array of the friendship cannons. "What can I do for you, Cap?"

The floor rumbled as the twin beasts pulled their way towards Ground Zero. Ahead of them, a mountain range hazed into view, majestic in their purple heights, proud of all that they surveyed. It would have been any painter's dream--and in fact, had been painted many times before--had it not been for the one gaping flaw; towards the center, there was a chunk missing, as if some great celestial ice-cream scoop had dipped down and taken part of the mountains.

[Tiki Snakes]

Actualy, I was never into that whole "science" stuff. I was raised on old books and with a strong understanding that if you want the universe to do something, you throw inslaved souls at it until the shreaking causes it to give and and do what you want. I always thought Boffensparks energy was fake, artificial magic, and it is. Unlike true positive energy, it eventualy dissapates.

Also, can you drop me off in Llamabad? I think there done with rebuilding now, and there might be food riots.

.....

Wait, what is the date, exactly? I might miss the annual cult Nightmare Night party. Say what you will for a group of sadistic nhillists who wish for a creature of pure evil to engulf the cosmos, there fantastic. Who would have guessed a group of ghouls, zombies, necromancers, ghosts, and all other sorts of beings could throw a wicked party?

You seem to be a smart kid, you'll do fine if you just wise up a little. I've never met a cult that didn't end badly for everyone involved, in the long term. Of course, that was often because they met me, but that's quite beside the point. I'm sure there was a point. Uh, right.
Take a good look at where your life is going, and where it led your predecessors.


Look, it's your choice. You get one free trip, no take-backs. Llamabad or elsewhere?

[Tectonic Robot]

The filly giggled, wiping chocolate from her mouth. "How do you do that?" she said eagerly, standing up on two hooves and placing the other two imploringly on the angel's chest. "Can you teach me? I can promise you good spots in the new world order!"

"Oh, sure, it's easy! All you have to do is--owch!" Candles swiftly bops to the angel to silence. "Alright, first of all, teaching Pandemonium Fox chaos theory to any filly is a bad idea. Second of all, I don't think we should be giving out random magic lessons to alicorns we don't know anything about!" Candles' logic is swift and causes angel ponies to droop.

....thanks. Thinking Cap blushed again. Anyways I'm going to go talk to Blunt about what we can expect at Canterlot. Want to meet up for lunch, er I guess dinner actually, in the mess hall later?





Thinking Cap makes his way to where he saw Blunt last and looks around. Hey Blunt? I wanted to talk about Canterlot.

"Oh, uh, sure, yeah!

[Balmas]

What? No chocolate pudding whenever she wanted? The little filly's eyes grew moist, and she dropped to her hooves again, sulking. "All I want is to have chocolate pudding," she said sadly, turning on the puppy eyes. (Everything Blunt knew about sad puppy eyes, he learned through exposure to Athena.)


She held that position for a few seconds: eyes watering, staring sadly at the mean pony who didn't like her, wings dropping almost to the floor, hair limp and saggy. Oh chocolate, would it never be hers?

The expression faltered as a thought occured to her. "Chaos magic? Like Discord?" She looked up pleadingly at the angel. "So, I could conjure up chocolate pudding and chocolate milk?"

((It is too much fun to write for a slightly-evil, cute filly.))

[Forum Explorer]

I wanted to get an idea of what I would be looking at before we got there. And make sure I know about any dangers that might be there.

Thinking Cap gasped when he saw the damage

W-what happened exactly?

[Balmas]

The purple pony was silent as the zeppelin sped towards their destination. It was hard to explain, or at least explain it in a way that made Dive Bomb come off looking sane. Eventually, he spoke up. "Well, you have to understand Dive Bomb's relationship with the Equestrian government. The two parties are mutually benefitted by staying out of each other's ways. That's not to say that they are completely separated: Dive Bomb was awarded the Canterlot defense contract a number of years back. Just the standard stuff: tower mounted turrets, an arsenal of grenukes to launch at enemies, nothing overly large. Hoffheld friendship cannons, you understand. This would have been just a few months after the escape of Discord; Celestia gave the statue to an ex-student, and the defense contract to Dive Bomb.

"During the course of the reinforcements, Dive Bomb saw fit to install certain of his grenukes throughout the city: in foundations, in the sewers; he had a residence built there just so that he could store a dozen or more in the walls. Understand that these bombs were never meant to go off; at the end of the project, he informed Celestia of the bombs, though not of their locations, as a means of ensuring that he'd be left alone to experiment in peace."

The purple pony sighed bitterly. "Then, Boffinspark and Silent decided to have a fight in downtown Canterlot. Despite Dive Bomb's warnings to vacate the city, and take the fight elsewhere, Boffinspark fired the Orbital Friendship Cannon into the middle of the city. The agitation, combined with the fragility of the bombs, prompted some of the bombs to detonate, causing the destruction of the city. There is some evidence that at least one of the bombs had help when they were disturbed.

"Luckily, through Discordian intervention, no lives were lost. If you look down there, you can see that there's at least some reconstruction going on, though we still need to find the princesses."

[Pokonic]

You seem to be a smart kid, you'll do fine if you just wise up a little. I'justve never met a cult that didn't end badly for everyone involved, in the long term. Of course, that was often because they met me, but that's quite beside the point. I'm sure there was a point. Uh, right.
Take a good look at where your life is going, and where it led your predecessors.


Look, it's your choice. You get one free trip, no take-backs. Llamabad or elsewhere?

Llamabad, please.

Wait, before I go, I just want to say that you are by far one of the most civil beings I have met, and was wondering if we could stay in touch.

[Tiki Snakes]

Done!
Bleakmane reaches out a hoof and pushes gently, toppling the statue backwards through it's own statue.

As the lights went dim again, Bleakmane cackled maniacally.

[Forum Explorer]

If the bombs weren't meant to go off why were they there at all?

Anyways I'll have to give your employer a stern talking to if I ever meet him. What he did was utterly reckless and-wait did you say Discord saved those ponies? He's free again?!

Thinking Cap's voice starts rising in pitch near the end of his statement, his eyes shrink to pin-pricks as he is clearly freaking out at the prospect.

[Tiki Snakes]

A shadow in the corner of the room shifted, breifly.

Oh no, they died. Many, many ponies died. I talked with some of their ghosts personally. Some time later, your little Draconequus friend got free, and now there are ponies that look like them and share their memories and don't remember ever not surviving. They even have souls.

It's best not to think about it.

The shadow fell silent again.

[Balmas]

If the bombs weren't meant to go off why were they there at all?

Anyways I'll have to give your employer a stern talking to if I ever meet him. What he did was utterly reckless and-wait did you say Discord saved those ponies? He's free again?!

Thinking Cap's voice starts rising in pitch near the end of his statement, his eyes shrink to pin-pricks as he is clearly freaking out at the prospect.

CLANG! The purple pony grimaced, and examined the dent in the console. "Discouragement. Mutually assured destruction. A message saying, 'If you come after me, then... well, just don't come after me.'

"Those two, trigger-happy fools! If they hadn't taken a fight, if they'd left when Dive Bomb had told them to, if that idiot of a mad scientist hadn't fired a weapon of mass destruction into a crowded metropolitan area, then we wouldn't have this mess!"

By now, small shapes resolved themselves into buildings, though still fuzzy with distance. Dive Bomb paused in his rant, trotting forward and pulling the throttle lever to 'Full Stop.' He paused, niggling a claw in his ear. Had he heard something? No, it must have been the wind, rushing past the wrap-around windows.

"One thing Boffinspark is good at: orbital bombardment. He used the power of millions of Grenuke explosions to power a worldwide, low power bubble bombardment to stone Discord. It sounds silly, but it worked."