Things I May No Longer Do While Playing IV: The Decanter of Endless Bad Ideas

[Craft (Cheese)]

Well they didn't need to understand it, they just need to be able to repeat it. 5 times fast. No mistakes.

[Zahhak]

You are the devil.

[toapat]

^Suicide dog bomb?

actually, only elephants dont have arms.

And i was talking about playing minecraft Creepers

[Doorhandle]

The dwarf cleric had to make certain, er, arraignments with a few gods in order to keep the party from doing certain things. These arraignments prevent me from going into any more detail. Needless to say, the Raven Queen was not happy with what was about to happen.

OH SWEET CAYDEN CAILEAN WHAT HAVE I WROUGHT?!

[Zahhak]

^ You gave an amateur writer half an excuse to flex his muscle, what did you expect would happen?

And i was talking about playing minecraft Creepers

I thought you were referencing the suicide dog bombs the Soviets tried in WWII.

Also, never played Warcraft. Familiar with it though.

[Adoendithas]

(Minecraft, not Warcraft.)

* As a DM, a Creeper Spawner does NOT make a good enounter.
** Especially if the laws of physics actually apply to the walls and ceiling in our game.

[Esprit15]

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal is not a list of jokes to make IG, nor goals for my PC to have.

[Balmas]

As a PC, my DR may never be five times my character level.

[Xerinous]

*No longer allowed to give all of the PCs theme songs.
**Especially if all of them are by Iron Maiden.

[Amidus Drexel]

*No longer allowed to give all of the PCs theme songs.
**Especially if all of them are by Iron Maiden.

There are too many of those that work for me to guess which ones...

[Xerinous]

There are too many of those that work for me to guess which ones...

The ones I came up with for the party I'm in are The Mercenary, Can I Play With Madness and Powerslave, because one is in it for the money, one's been working with the BBEG who is completely insane, and one is a slave to the power of Death. Still working on one for my character, though. I'm thinking Rainmaker, simply because he can call storms.

[Esprit15]

Must inform the party healer that I am allergic to positive energy (Tomb Touched Soul).

[DigoDragon]

• No longer allowed to be browing the internet on my electronic device when the DM is trying to run an interesting Min-boss encounter.
• No longer allowed to be reading through several chapters of the Magic Item Compendium when the DM is trying to run an interesting Min-boss encounter.
• No longer allowed to sleep through said interesting Min-boss encounter.

My players disappointed me last session.

[eulmanis12]

As a hero my theme song may not be
The Imperial March
The Russian National Anthem
Ride of the Valkyries
Whiskey in the Jar
The Drunken Sailor Song
the 1812 Overature
anything from a childrens show

I have use all of these
None have ended well.


*I may not use any plan that starts with the words "first I nail a spoon to the catapult"
**yes this actualy happened
***no it does not make sense in context
****yes, it did indeed end badly


*I may not consume caffeen
**in or out of game
***it always ends badly
(6 cups of coffee later)
****ITALWAYSENDSWELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Adoendithas]

* The rule about theme songs applies even if I'm a bard.
** Even if I use Wagner or Tchaikovsky.

* I am never allowed to pour paint on the Mind Flayer simply to make a "chromatic Aberration" pun.
** I am not allowed to justify it by saying it blocks telepathic powers.

[Wookieetank]

* The rule about theme songs applies even if I'm a bard.
** Even if I use Wagner or Tchaikovsky.

* I am never allowed to pour paint on the Mind Flayer simply to make a "chromatic Aberration" pun.
** I am not allowed to justify it by saying it blocks telepathic powers.

***Even if it is lead based paint.
****Toxic paint however, can be used as a contact poison effect.

[Deathkeeper]

*I may not assume that any weapon with an Ice/Icy Burst enchantment is considered "cold iron."

[Dimers]

* I am never allowed to pour paint on the Mind Flayer simply to make a "chromatic Aberration" pun.
** I am not allowed to justify it by saying it blocks telepathic powers.

** Half dragon illithids are also not chromatic aberrations, since their creature type changes due to the template.

[Black Mage]

* If I pitch a character concept to the DM, I shouldn't be surprised if he says no when I add the title of "rapebeast" to the description.
** Changing this to "hugbeast" does not fix the situation, especially when it's the same character concept.

(This was in response to my attempt to play a six armed gargoyle with a gore, a bite, a tail attack...with pounce)

[Sgt. Cookie]

*My rogue is not to be equipped with a Bollock Dagger, just so I can get away with swearing at the table.

[North_Ranger]

Something I hope the party druid learned after last time...

* I will never cast entangle in a way that will affect not only the enemies but also everyone else in the party.

[Socratov]

Something I hope the party druid learned after last time...

* I will never cast entangle in a way that will affect not only the enemies but also everyone else in the party.

**I may not come into contact with hentai within 5 hours of playing a session of DnD where my character has accces to Edvards, Black Tentacles, Chilling tentacles, entangle or any similar spell or spell like ability

[North_Ranger]

**I may not come into contact with hentai within 5 hours of playing a session of DnD where my character has accces to Edvards, Black Tentacles, Chilling tentacles, entangle or any similar spell or spell like ability

***References to Evil Dead 2, however, can be acceptable depending on group mentality and/or number of women present.

[Craft (Cheese)]

**I may not come into contact with hentai within 5 hours of playing a session of DnD where my character has accces to Edvards, Black Tentacles, Chilling tentacles, entangle or any similar spell or spell like ability

...Shouldn't that be the other way around?

[Alabenson]

If I refer to my character as the "Great and Powerful ----*, it is automatically vetoed.

There is no such thing as the Crystal Empire Dialect, and even if there was, my character would not be allowed to only speak in it.

My wizard is no longer allowed to cast Evard's Black Tentacles on the first round of an encounter and then spend the rest of the fight sitting in a lawn chair.

[Bacon Elemental]

If at any point the players realise the BBEGs are their characters in the other campaign, and I've been playing them off against each other, I will be burned at the steak.



No spelling errors here.

[LordHavelock]

* No longer allowed to use NFL Primetime Highlights Music for battle sequences. (Example: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXuXBLlfxRo)

It worked great as long as none of my players watched any football. Then I got to college, joined the nerd fraternity where players were significantly more rounded (and also the undisputed champs of the inter-fraternal Fantasy Football League).

[Black Mage]

* No, I may not have a solid diamond horse named Buttstallion.
** It doesn't matter if there's a template that will make a horse turn into living diamond.
*** Stop asking!

[Giarc]

**** Buttstallion did not say "Hi."

[demigodus]

My wizard is no longer allowed to cast Evard's Black Tentacles on the first round of an encounter and then spend the rest of the fight sitting in a lawn chair.

*If the party barbarian triggers a trap of Evard's Black Tentacles, I can't sit back with the rest of the party drinking tea, while we wait for the trap duration to run out
**Calculating that there is no way for the barbarian to possibly die from this is no excuse