Adeptus Evangelion RPG (Long character question)

[ZoltanFargo]

This is mainly a question about what to do in my characters case in the game I'm in at the moment. Forgive me if anything is unclear I don't normally post on forums etc to get opinions. It's just I have no idea of where to go to from here.

Bit of backstory, my character Laurence has been with Nerv for about a year and a half and things had been going okay up until now. Laurence himself is a Prodigy Skirmisher, totally insecure and very private to the point where he won't tell anyone whats wrong unless they specifically ask. The other pilots are Three (Yes, thats his name) a manufactured A.T. Tactician who is clueless and takes everything literally or alternativly has no clue whats going on. The final pilot is Nicholas, a Neo-Spartan Pointman with repressed memories, serves Nerv with undying loyalty along with Three.

Two fights in Nicholas lost his leg due to a friendly fire incident where our prototype flamer exploded >_>, after the fight however Nerv somehow replaced his leg. Not complaining, made my character feel safer. Three fights in Three lost the use of his eyes as they boiled and popped inside of his head, the head scientist who sees Three as his 'son' scrapped multiple projects and put together a helmet interface of sorts to enable him to see, if at least partially.

During all of this time my character had been racking up the insanity points, not fun. Constantly taking critical damage and having negative perks that all related to insanity (I had no clue how bad it would get). Five fights in my character copped it hard. After the fight, he was missing his eyes, an arm and a leg. From this he also gained Horrible Flashbacks, coupled with an earlier disorder meant that whenever he was in darkness he would have horrible flashbacks etc. So he's blind. Well damn.

Suffice to say constant lack of vision, no assistance from Nerv, crippled, 15 years old, 68/100 insanity and the only place the visions abate is when he is inside his Eva, he has to synch directly with the Eva's eyes now though. I just don't know what to do in this situation. In all honesty I think he is looking for a way out, he wants it all to stop. He wants out, but the flashbacks never stop, not even while he's sleeping according to our DM. I love this character despite his drawbacks etc, I want to find a way for him to want to keep living, he only see's suicide/death as the only escape.

[Ranos]

I'm sure NERV will let you kill yourself. They certainly aren't watching. Every day. All the time. Just watching.
There's no way out.
No way out.
Only pain.
Forever.

But seriously, try it, see what happens ? It sounds like it's time for some drama, and what is Adeva without drama ?