[Nexus] MagCave VII: Rest for the Wicked

[Arkhosia]

Moff Kent

Magtok has to try very hard not to say something about phalluses and Moff's unswerving focus on them. There's a fair chance he was actually talking about roosters and Maggy just assumed the worst, so let's not offer Moff that opening by criticizing the AMENite's choice of words.

"Fine, but it needs a reply to go with it, so I know you're the right Moff, and not one of underbite's followers. 'The Big Cheese gets his at low tide', maybe?"

Tempest's Troubles with Treasure

"I'm giving you exactly one chance to get out of this alive, thief. Listen closely, you don't want to ruin this."

That hand on her ankle holds firm once more, careful not to risk letting go and dropping the stranger on her head.

"I'm going to pull you through this cubby, and through a portal, okay? You're going to pop out of a hat miles away like the bunny in that lame magic trick we've all seen before. After that, you're going to bow like a good little magician's assistant, hobble away, and never come by here again. I'll even let you keep that horrible alien baby monster egg you were so intent on taking off my hands."

I dunno, sounds like a pretty lame deal to me. Also, if those cubbies lead somewhere, why not just flee through one of those?

Deal.
Tempest has something in store for Magtok.

[happyturtle]

Moff Kent

"Something about cheese. Right. Hopefully my player will remember that." Moff Kent says. He puts his glasses back on, becoming Mr Generic again, and turns to leave. Probably time for Magtok to get anything else in before he goes.

[Lord Magtok]

Moff Kent

Magtok bows his head, shaking it slowly as he tries to make sense of this. If he goes back, nothing will be changed. Most of AMEN still won't respect him, he shouldn't expect any help with his personal problems with DC and WATCH, and relations with Remnant will certainly be strained by his renewed membership. It might make things less awkward with Harley, but just as likely to be met with crushing disappointment from Happy, Sunny, and-

"**** it. The cock crows at midnight."

Well! It looks like you've made up your mind, then! That didn't take long, did it, Lord Magtok? Y'know, between you and me, I knew this whole hero thing couldn't last. Reina, now she had a decent shot at redemption; she could always distance herself from the other Reins and their actions if she had to. You, though? **** man, you never even had a chance, that morality shift was doomed from the start. Oh wow, when Intrepid finds out about this...

Tempest Teleports!

"Okay, just a second..."

Magtok pulls Tempest through!

[Arkhosia]

And For My Next Trick...

Tempest doesn't resist.

[happyturtle]

Moff Kent

"Woohoo! A high tide raises all cheese!" Moff cheers. "How do you want to make your entrance? I can get you in wherever you want." At the price of having to travel via the Yellow Road. Magtok might prefer just to be let in via the delivery entrance.


Brain Surgery

Oh right. Sunny. I suppose about this time, Sunny awakes. Presumably part or all of her head had to be shaved to implant the chip, and heaven knows how much of the brain had to be prodded at to create the interface. "Mphflmgrgh."

[Lord Magtok]

Brain Surgery

Magtok tried to keep the shaving to a minimum. Don't want anyone thinking he's trying to turn her into another Magtok, especially since he's got his fingers all up in her gray matter and such. "Sunny, you waking up? We're done."

Moff Kent

"Yellow Road, with my shoes on his skull."

Oh no, Magtok's in one of those moods. He won't settle for anything less than the most spectacularly stupid and suicidal entrance possible.

[Lost_Deep]

The Back Door

The Magcave has a back door, whose presence was once divulged to a particular businessman in confidence. There is someone at this door now, who is not that businessman. However, it is someone who Magtok might recognize. Jade Allime, a member of The Discerning Eye... accompanied by a pair of men in full plate armor. Jade eyes the back door, pulling her stylish but warm coat around her, looking for some kind of call button.

[happyturtle]

Moff Kent

Moff 's and opens the portal. He'll give Magtok time to get whatever accessories he might need, and drag him in.

To AMEN!

[Lord Magtok]

Moff Kent

To AMEN!

Back Door => Throne Room

Unlike that garage entrance Tempest took, this way into the MagCave is considerably less ugly, oil-stained, and smelly. Instead, it just seems sort of gaudy and vain instead. Multiple oil paintings of Magtok line the walls, the floor is covered by a thick, eggplant-purple carpet, and it all leads up to a large chamber with an enormous throne with far too many wires, glowing LED lights, and roaring fires.

"Ah, Ms. Allime. I was just wondering if you were still alive. What brings you all the way out here?"

Magtok is, of course, slouching on that throne, glancing out towards Jade and her friends from the corner of one eye when not staring up in a Hamlet-esque fashion at the robo-skull in his hand.

[Lost_Deep]

Throne Room

"Is there a member of... well, you that goes by the name of 'Mindtok'? He found his way into a place that people are not supposed to be, and this is causing some worry among some friends of mine," Jade says simply, "I was wondering if you had anything to say about that before there was any... conclusion jumping."

[Lord Magtok]

Throne Room

Magtok tosses the skull aside and suddenly starts paying attention instead of posing all dramatically, because this actually sounds kinda important. He's not used to being out of the loop, and based off Jade's choice of words, this might be somewhat alarming news.

"Mindtok? Not...not Magtork, or maybe a yellow-robed wizard, or...no, I don't think I know a Mindtok. If I had to guess based on the name, there's some sort of giant cyborg brain pretending to be me?"

His mind is drawn to that one tragic lab experiment that was totally Riss's fault, before he dismisses the notion. As explosive and bizarre as that incident was, there's no way it could've opened up any inter-dimensional portals or anything like that. No way, not a chance. Even if it did, only a moron would believe there's a Magtok dimension full of cyborgs that might go tumbling out of such a portal.

[UncleWolf]

Brain Surgery

Carl is right next to Sunny when she wakes, Luke too, though the latter is on his lap, snoring in his sleep while the former is holding her hand tightly. He doesn't say anything yet, but he does look up sharply, hoping that it went as planned.

[Lost_Deep]

Throne Room

"Well, he looked like you, had your voice, and many of your mannerisms... he wore a pinkish-purple, and was a strong psychic." Jade's body language is... purposefully diplomatic. Not just purposefully diplomatic, but purposefully diplomatic and she wants Magtok to know it. "There are enough parallels that you are immediately in question. It could be a framing attempt, but..."

[Arkhosia]

Front Door

A cyborg cat in a cyan sweater (because who puts a cat in a robe?) paws the door.
I can has entry?

[happyturtle]

Brain Surgery

Sunny takes Carl's hand, but it's Magtok she tries to focus on. "Did it work?"

[Gnrlshrimp]

Paul MagCartney and the Wings

"Precisely how do you intend to test that?" Magtok questions, hoping it's not a matter of practicality. His wings are more aesthetic than anything. I mean, he could probably pull off a few tricks with them, maybe engineer some bioluminescence with the right pill and a few minutes to prepare, but physics say these things are definitely not carrying him up into the sky all on their own.

[Oh, Oh, for the wing of...an angel.]

"How do I intend to test it? Well...you'll see soon enough." Ithuriel grins wickedly.

Why, whatever could she have in mind?

...

And then quick as a flash, she grabs Angel-Mag's hand and poofs them out!

Mysterious!

[Lord Magtok]

Throne Room

"He's not mine. I don't know what that implies, but wherever he came from, it wasn't my cloning tanks. All Magtoks are monitored and accounted for."

Everyone except Godtok, you mean. Then again, does an excommunicated Magtok actually count as a Magtok? Hrm, an interesting question. Jade doesn't need to know that Maggy's only technically telling the truth, so he doesn't tell her about any of that.

"I have to say, I'm equal parts intrigued and perturbed. It's been a while since the Nexus had a psychic who isn't quite so uptight and restrained with his powers as DC is, but any investigating of this individual sounds like it'd involve an awful lot of unpleasant classified information snipped out of my own brain by this other fellow. You said he did some trespassing...of the mental sort, or the physical location kind, or both?"

Front Door

"...Reinholdt? That's not you, is it? Is this your idea of a joke? Are you going crazy and making cyborg cats and saying they're our babies? Reinholdt, if you can hear me, I'm not making kittens with you. With any of you, even the girl one. I don't know what you're trying to say here, but I don't approve!"

No Reinholdts here, Magtok. Just you, and a cyborg cat sitting in front of you, staring up as you shout at nobody.

Brain Surgery

Of course it worked. It was Magtok poking around in there, not some rank amateur from the year forty-thousand or something. Sheesh, you people. Perfectly steady robot hands, years of experience, nigh-infinite book knowledge contained in a mind infinitely more capable of awesome works of mad genius that your garden variety human, and you have the gall, the unbelievable nerve to fear Magtok's cyborg graft expertise might somehow have failed you!

"The procedure was a success. You're going to need some paperwork or something to get you past your next set of metal detectors without stirring up tension, but other than that, everything is absolutely perfect. I can't think of a single brain in the Nexus that's as secure as yours is as of today."

It's not often Magtok gets to bask in the glory of a good deed done well and without any tragic complications, so he does so, and I'm not going to give him any flak for it this time around. I'm sure this wasn't what Charity had in mind when she asked him to talk to Sunny, but oh well, go Team Magtok!

[Arkhosia]

Front Door

Who iz Reinholdt? Me am CatTok! I iz nu here and wanted too meet teh Magtok I iz hearing much abowt.

In my mind, CatTok sounds like CatBug.

[Lost_Deep]

Throne Room

"Both. However, you do not need to worry about him. He's dead now. Quite dead, in fact. Unless Magtoks are able to survive without the fleshy half of their brain?"

Oh... dang.

[Lord Magtok]

Front Door

((*Googles CatBug, is sent over to Youtube, and then does some video-watching over there* Did they hire an actual toddler to do the voice for that character? I swear, CatBug sounds exactly like an actual child.))

"Well you've found him." Magtok does his best to frown sternly at CatTok, drawing upon every ounce of his willpower not fall prey to the thing's absolutely adorable voice and verbal tics.

"...Holy Raptor Christ, even if you are probably some dumb Rein joke or an attempt to desensitize me to the idea cyborg/cat hybrids, you are the cutest thing in the world. Say...say 'I'll get you next time, Watchtower!' Please, just say that, and maybe clench your paw and shake it in the air when you do it. Oooh! No, instead say 'Fools! You will rue the day you challenged CatTok and his Confounding Cathedral of Cannibal Crocodiles!' Keep the dramatic paw-shaking bit, though."

The cyborg's willpower fails him here, clearly, and he tries to pick CatTok right up off the ground as he fusses over the cyborg kitty. Our Magtok's a huge narcissist, and try as he might, a cat that looks just like him (and doesn't give him sass) is completely irresistible. There are some people who got sick of lolcats years ago, but Magtok was never one of them. It was always too much fun to anonymously pull stupid-looking pictures of Reinholdt from the MagSat surveillance footage, do some editing, and make his nemesis look like a tiny little idiot. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if an entire fourth of all the Nexus's lolcat pictures originated from this very MagCave's IP addresses. If you rearrange the letters in Magtok's name it even spells out 'OMG, KAT!'

Throne Room

Magtok visibly deflates, infinitely disappointed by the unique opportunity held out in front of him, and then just as quickly whisked away into the void.

"Oh. No, if he's anything like me, he's well and truly dead now, then. That's...for the best, I guess. Would probably be too much work and cost too many resources anyways, keeping him safely incapacitated and contained. In lieu of any next of kin, could I maybe see whatever's left of him? You could edit out the classified stuff I'm not entitled to from his cyborg brain, and I could have a look at the rest?"

Well since an interrogation's not an option, why not just tear the psychic's head open and download his brain? It's not like respect for the dead or the desecration of a human body matters to anyone, right?

[Arkhosia]

Front Door: CatTok's Cuteness = 9001

Nope! The kid's seven apparently. Yeah, I'm surprised too.

CatTok repeats the lines and is picked up without protest.

[happyturtle]

Front Door: Hoodietok

At a different time than the other visitors, there's another knock on the door. It's a figure wearing jeans and a hoodie, with the hood up, and a red eye glowing from under it.

[Lord Magtok]

Front Door: CatTok

Magtok's eyes narrow. They dart left, and then right, and then left again one more time just to make sure he didn't miss anything. Nobody seems to be watching and laughing at him, but...

"Yes yes, right then, as I was saying, I'm Lord Magtok, and this is my MagCave. Come in, come in, have a look around!"

Not too close a look, though. Magtok's almost finished restructuring everything, but there's still some faint signs of battle damage if you know where to look. He sets the kitty down, and gestures for it to follow him into the big, fancy foyer, which, as always, doesn't look anything at all like it did the last time I posted a description for it, because Magtok hates me. There's an elegant marble staircase in the middle of the room that wasn't there before, dividing up the room into a first and second floor, with all sorts of doors and halls leading to various places around the cavern lair, and a really big tree right in the middle of that second floor. Y'know, I've always wondered...if he can teleport so easily, what the hell does he need doors and hallways and all of that junk for?

Anyways, this time around the room's usual purple and chrome has made way for bright greens and shades of red. There's all sorts of yuletide decorations about, as Magtok is all about the holiday season. Holly, mistletoe, tinsel, blinking lights, little purple bulbs hanging from Thanksmas trees, and so on and so forth. Some presents sit at that one tree I mentioned last paragraph, marked with little tags that say "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL THANKSMAS DAY UNDER PENALTY OF DEATH", which while sounding quite extreme to outsiders, is most likely exactly the sort of promise our Thanksmas-obsessed Magtok would actually keep, and find nothing wrong with doing so.

"So yes, CatTok you said? Where are you from, anyways? I don't think I've met another 'tok who wasn't one of my own. Recently heard about a psychic Mindtok from someone, but I dunno if he counts. He wasn't with you or anything, was he?"

Front Door: Hoodietok

"Oh good lord, why did I ever think that was a decent, casual 'taking the day off from being evil' sort of look for me? Sweet Raptor Christmas, I'm sorry, I am, but you just accidentally reminded me of the lamest thing I ever did with my wardrobe in my whole life. It was several years ago and I was the most awkward little wretch in the world, shuffling about and biding my time in the Town. Gods, I do not look back fondly of those days..."

Magtok ceases hovering about, poking and prodding at Hoodietok whilst reminiscing about his own embarrassing past, and actually stops to acknowledge that there's a living, breathing person in front of him.

"So you're...PunkTok, then? I mean, assuming you're following the same naming convention as Mindtok, CatTok, and the Cheesetok I found in my refrigerator this morning."

[Arkhosia]

Foyer!

CatTok sniffs around the place and generally does what a cat does except for pee to mark territory.
Mindtok... Never herd ov him! I come from a place were peeples are akshulee catz!

[Lost_Deep]

Throne Room

Magtok visibly deflates, infinitely disappointed by the unique opportunity held out in front of him, and then just as quickly whisked away into the void.

"Oh. No, if he's anything like me, he's well and truly dead now, then. That's...for the best, I guess. Would probably be too much work and cost too many resources anyways, keeping him safely incapacitated and contained. In lieu of any next of kin, could I maybe see whatever's left of him? You could edit out the classified stuff I'm not entitled to from his cyborg brain, and I could have a look at the rest?"

Well since an interrogation's not an option, why not just tear the psychic's head open and download his brain? It's not like respect for the dead or the desecration of a human body matters to anyone, right?

"Well, I can certainly see how you want that to happen, and I would like to help that happen, but there are paranoid people involved so they're likely to be... highly hesitant to uncooperative. I'm fairly sure they're at least trying to crack his code right now, and let's be honest, they're worried that you might be working against them."

"I think that's silly, of course, but you can't be too careful in their line of work."

[happyturtle]

HoodieTok

The person at the door lowers their hood revealing...

Spoiler

Show

... a Mofftok.

"What the **** is this, Magtok? I am so... ****ing hell, I can't even figure out how to work the left side of my body!"

He demonstrates the last sentence by balling up his left fist and swinging widely at Magtok, almost certainly missing.

[Lord Magtok]

Foyer

"Oh. So there's no Magtok dimension full of CatToks and Cheesetoks and MagBatMan, then. Shame, I was kinda getting my hopes up..."

Good that the cat doesn't pee, though. Cute as the MagKitty might be, the bipedal cyborg would probably kick it right out the door with a giant boot if he peed on anything.

"What do cats do in a world that's just nothing but cats, anyways? I was going to ask Reina that but figured she'd think I was being rude or racist or something. Like, is it just like this one but with smaller ceilings? Do cats use mice as money or live in giant scratching posts or something?"

Throne Room

Magtok sighs. This is getting nowhere, and he's still not feeling like his name's been cleared yet. "I don't know what you want me to do or say or be unaware of in order to prove I had nothing to do with this, Jade. I had nothing to do with this. Why would I use one of my own, an exotic one of my own with unique superpowers, to investigate...whatever, when I could just send someone with no known ties to MagSide, or shapeshift a disguise, or just ask nicely and see how much data that gets me?"

HoodieTok => Mofftok

"You say that like this is somehow my fault," Magtok observes, backing away from the Moff just to be safe.

"What is this, anyways? The hell is with your face stealing my look and such?"

Birthday Bonanza

A scene that started here on the first day of the Thanksmas season has now finally made its way back here for the (RL) end of the Thanksmas season! Magtok and Happy seem a little rattled by their wacky romp through Skyside, but they're here now, relatively safe and sound in the dark, foreboding MagCave. Some Magbots have a small table prepared and a dish that's probably cake underneath it, but Magtok's a bit distracted, glaring at the gift-wrapped cat scratching post tower thingy on his left.

Someone apparently saw fit to send a subtle, but still particularly vitriolic message. The tag says it's from Watchtower, but it's been so long since Sirtch has ever had anything to do with Watch, that's really more of a technicality, if anything. A half-truth meant to manipulate our cyborg into thinking the organization is out to get him.

[happyturtle]

Mofftok

"Well I'm not the one who knows how to make cyborgs! My signature gun is all organic Yellow Road woo-woo stuff! Nothing mechanical at all. But I pop out of the cloning tanks, and BANG... metal on my face!" Mofftok shouts, waving his hands in emphasis.

Birthdaytok

Happy lets out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding when they arrive back here. It's been a fun day, but that last stop was... not very nice. Best to not think about it at all and pretend there aren't people living in desperate poverty. "Birthday cake! Awesome!" No, that wasn't at all forced cheerfulness.

[Arkhosia]

We livez in small homez wif cat flaps! We use a currencee called moniez. catnip iz illegal.

[Lord Magtok]

Mofftok

"If you haven't noticed, I wasn't anywhere near AMEN's cloning tanks and/or whatever it is that killed you," Magtok rolls his eyes, taking a gamble and hoping this isn't a reborn Metal Jaw Moff or something like that.

Birthdaytok

"Oh, right! Cake!" We can mumble things under our breath about what jerks Watch are later, there's cake to be had! The dish thingy hiding the cake is removed, and a hooker jumps out and it's chocolate, yay!

CatTok

"It's entirely legal and widespread in the Nexus," Magtok points out, purely to see the cat cyborg's reaction to him saying so.