[Nexus] Trog's Tavern CCXLVII

[Lady Serpentine]

*Upon entering the tavern you find it to be rustic, dim, cramped, and smelling of spilled beer. Moving through the crowd, half of which seem to be deadtiming, you spot a fireplace with a banjowood carving on the mantle, you also make out through the haze the curving bar and private booths hidden behind ferns. A side door leading to a patio outside reveals a hungry looking dumpster mimic sneaking towards an unsuspecting customer.

Near the stairs to the second floor rooms is a small white stone platform with a blue tree-like symbol on it. Standing on this platform will teleport someone to the Sanctuary Fortress located Inside where healers are always standing by in case of bar-brawls.

Trog's can be found right around the corner from any place in the Nexus. Somehow. It's best not to question it.

Staff:
Owner and Proprietor: Trog
Manager: El Jaspero
Bartenders: The Watchers (they're nice deranged cultists, really!), Phoebe, Ashna, Ambrosia

Trog's Tavern hires only the finest NPC servers:
((Since all are NPCs they are up for communal control. Feel free to say what they do or say to you or any other patron. To a point.))

Bouncer: Baby (NPC, a dwarf who was raised by orcs and has the intellect of Thog.)

Servers:
Nina - A fiesty and vivacious tiefling. Mean, self-centered and completely unavailable. You may have seen her recently on the WotC 4E cartoon.
Paige - A sweet, wholesome, flirty elf working her way through PC school.
Cosmo - A quick-witted and oppressed gnome scoundrel. Truly a monster. RAWR!

DRINK MENU:
Wines:
Catoblepas Sauvingnon
Chimera Cabernet - A hearty red with a hits of oak and black cherry.
Chuul Lounge - Bacardi Limon, Aberration , creme de bananes and juices into a Chuul shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well. Strain into a highball glass half-filled with ice cubes, and serve.
Constitution Crushing Wine - Fort. DC 35 or pass out!
Cormyrian Fireamber - Imported and very good.
Eladrin Carbernet - Official Feywine of the Wild Hunt
Feline's Fancy - A purplish, swirly mixture that any feline will adore.
Funky Llama - A rich fruity wine, available in white or red.
Iames Agonia - This tart, dark red wine will stun you and leave you feeling good for hours.
Kobold Chianti - Tart. Tangy. Shifty.
Merfolk Merlot - Full-bodied with a hint of rose.
Powerlust Pinot - For those corruptable humans
Shadar-Kai Shadowine - Served in a jagged, broken glass
Spoonake Chablis - Straight from the Underdark!
Warlock Wine - Best served cold
Xorn Zinfandel - Sweet and fruity!

Mixed Drinks:
A Drink - Generic booze with ice that can be shaken, stirred, or you know, whatever. Try to be more imaginative next time.
Aboleth Absinthe - Far Realmilicious!
Black Shadow - A strong concoction guaranteed to send a chill down your spine at any temperature.
Coffee Martini - Buzzzzz.
Djinn and Tonic - Whirling ice cubes, fizzy soda, and one drunk genie.
Dragon Liver Buster - Strongest drink in the house
Dwarf Spirits
Fire Archon Asylum Rum - "FAAR!!!"
Haley's Liquer - Named for the redheaded rogue, a sweet creme liquer, excellent over ice.
Hemo Colada - 100% less coconut, 100% more ichor
Ice Liquer - From the Plane of Ice: guaranteed to cool you down.
Ichor Liquor - Made from a fermented mix of various kinds of blood
Jasphattan - El J's Secret Recipie, vermouth & bitters
LEVEL UP LIQUER - Need a few extra XP? We gots XP in a bottle!
Long Island Iced Tea - Tastes better than it will make you feel in the morning
Murderita - Wasted away again...
Piña CoLlama - If you're not into yoga and have half a brain.
Rampaging Rail Mixer - Mad strong!
Rust Monster - Scotch, drambuie shaken in a wooden mixer.
Sneak on the Beach - Peach vodka, cran-pineapple juice, a cat hair
Swampwater - Phosphorescent lemon-lime
White Russian Wukei - for bounty hunters who dig dairy
Wizard Blizzard - Crushed ice and Bourbon. The effect depends on the spell stored in it.

Beers & Such:
Ales: Archon, Guilders, Balthor's Best
Grim Brewery Ginger Beer - Death-o-licious!
Mind Flayer Mead - Mmm... brains.

Other Fine Beverages:
Celestial Soda Pop - Soda specially brewed in Celestia. Tastes divine.
Darknight Coffee - cream has no effect
Dragon's Fire Breath (cherry Kool-Aid) - for the kids!
Fox Cola - the choice of the furry generation
Llamonade - That cool, refreshing drink for quadrupeds
Oni Tea - From the far east.
Red Minotaur Energy Drink - a-MAZE-ing energy!
Root Beer
Save vs. Slow Slurpees™ - C-c-c-cold
Hot Chocolate - Mmmmmmarshmallows

MUNCHIES MENU:
AbyssalNuts - damned and spicy
Baked Goods - Scones and Muffins and Brownies oh my! We have no cake - the cake is a lie!
Bamhacon - where the ham meets the bacon. Served with eggs.
Court of Stars Salad - Fresh fey greens
Hero Sandwiches - what else? Served with Villain vinegrette
Velvet Elfish - Trogtilla chips and hot meat and cheese dip
Yuan-ti Gyros - Lamb. Or halfling. We're not sure.
Trog's Floor Chili - Don't ask Trog where it came from and Trog won't tell you "the floor"
SMOKABLES:
Dwarven Cigars - From our axe-hewn humidor
Coffin Nail™ Cigarettes - Get Nailed!
Halfling Pipeweed - Bogart™ brand

((When this thread reaches page 50, anyone can make the next thread. However, if you want to make changes to the OP, please check in the OOC thread first to make sure everyone agrees.))

[Arkhosia]

A portal appears, and spits out...
A box of chocolate?

[Rebonack]

And thus someone wholly unremarkable enters the tavern.

Or maybe she's been in the tavern for a while and no one really noticed her. That someone being Specialist Allomyrina of the Altaran Irregulars. She's human, unremarkably so. So unremarkable that one is very likely to overlook her unless she's somehow calling attention to herself.

At present she's out of uniform, so she must be off duty.

That's pretty important, after all. Everyone needs some time off now and again.

Allomyrina places an order for a salad and retreats to the fireplace where she settles into a chair and pulls out a tablet to fiddle with. Specifically for the purpose of reading a book. They may not be much like the thaumatics back home in the physics underlying them, but the electronics are certainly similar enough in their function that Allo was able to quickly adapt.

There's a whole universe of literature out there she was previously unaware of. And she's barely scratched the surface thus far. At the moment she's reading through a fictionalized historical account set in some human nation called 'China'.

And then?

Then a box of chocolates appears in front of her.

Allo quirks an eyebrow at the confections before glancing up at the ceiling.

[Zefir]

Another femae person seems to be in the tavern, close to the fire. For Nexus standarts she might not draw much attention, but some people might pay attention to a woman with fox ears and a fox tail.

At the back of the char lays a heavy winter jacket and the young woman sits close to the fire holding a mug of hot choclate in her hands. It seems like she just arrived a few moments ago.

She looks up as the box falls down, but is to shy to approche it, because the other woman she barly noticed is there.

[Rebonack]

In Allomyrina's experience anything that suddenly falls out of a portal in Trog's Tavern is almost invariably dangerous in some capacity. It might be monsters. Or killer robots. Or even skelecopters.

After scrutinizing the box for a few moments and noting the absolutely unmistakable scent of chocolate Allo does the only reasonable thing one might do with a container filled with mysterious confections.

She picks up the box and tosses it into the fireplace. They might be hazardous, somehow. And someone might get hurt if they eat them. Allomyrina isn't about to let such a thing happen. Better safe than sorry and all that.

And then?

Then she leans back and starts reading her book again.

The salad she ordered arrives shortly there after.

[Darkcomet]

Allo may be surprised to see...

An upside-down smooth-foreheaded N'alae with this odd black uniform appear in the air, staring down at the fire, having appeared out of nowhere.

"Records indicate that objects from random portals are not to be trusted. Although I would have recommended feeding it to the dumpster mimic outside, Contingency Firewood is an acceptable substitute."

...yeah, that's definitely that hologram again.

[Rebonack]

Allomyrina jumps a bit when the hologram begins talking.

Why you ask?

Well, when you're a race that's naturally empathic and a thing with no emotions starts talking to you all of a sudden it is rather jarring. It would be like a human being pestered by someone who's invisible.

It takes a few moments for Allo to realize what's going on here. Clearly this...thing... is that phantasm that Emissary N'alae had programed to help with security inside the tavern. Is she supposed to talk to it like it's a person? Or just ignore it?

Or... what, exactly?

"Ah... thank you for the advice? I'll consider that in case any more candy is lobbed into the tavern."

[Darkcomet]

"I might simply cover it in tribbles." There is suddenly a little pink-gray ball of fluff in the air above Allo. Gravity soon comically takes effect, sending the holographic tribble to land on her head.

Gravity, of course, is clearly only applying to the holograms when the security program says it does. Why said security program keeps up with this tribble obsession even I have no idea.

"Of course, that would not actually do anything unless I used the razortribbles..."

Why.

[Rebonack]

Allomyrina is about to ask what a tribble is, but her question is suddenly answered in a rather unexpected way.

"Buck!" Allo swears when she feels the fuzzy thing bounce off the top of her head. Her forehead ignites with a tongue of livid green faerie fire whilst a similar plume of scintillating emerald light seeks to entrap the holographic nuisance in a telekinetic field.

Assuming she manages to snag the phantasmal tribble she'll move it away to a more comfortable distance and take the opportunity to glower at it.

The hologram she was chatting with will find itself glowered at shortly there after.

"I would appreciate it if you would respect my personal space."

[Arkhosia]

Makaria just stares at the Tribble and the hologram.

What are those things?
Makaria asks Ashara, surprised.

[Darkcomet]

"An interesting response. My database indicated that organics usually like tribbles." The security hologram lady flips right side up and lands, no longer hovering around.

"Further testing required."

The holographic tribble vanishes.

[Rebonack]

Aaaaand then the fuzzy thing vanishes.

Had the tribble been real Allo might have reacted to it differently. But as mentioned before holograms unsettle her. The look and move like living things, but they lack emotion and thought. They're downright unsettling, really.

Or at least from her perspective, that is.

That and her home world has a species rather akin to tribbles.

Major difference?

They fly.

No one likes horrifically destructive pests.

"Like them or not, I don't appreciate having phantasmal animals thrown at me."

Seems like a reasonable thing to dislike.

[Arkhosia]

A rather attractive girl in leather armor with short blue hair, unnaturally pale skin, and purple eyes walks into the tavern.
Something alcoholic. Surprise me.
Ashe requests. she's 19, but the bartender doesn't need to know that.

[Arkhosia]

Another portal appears!
A bunch of water pours out, and a dolphin appears!
WHERE'S MY BUCKING CHOCOLATE!?
The dolphin demands, gesturing to the patrons with his gun.
This is a picture of the dolphin.

[Darkcomet]

The security hologram stares at the dolphin.

Then she/it just walks up to him. "Probability of knowing what in your religious plane of punishment of choice you are doing: Zero percent. Stand down."

I'll let you post in case he fires.

[Arkhosia]

The security hologram stares at the dolphin.

Then she/it just walks up to him. "Probability of knowing what in your religious plane of punishment of choice you are doing: Zero percent. Stand down."

I'll let you post in case he fires.

You! Do you know where my BUCKING CHOCOLATE is!?!!!!?????
The dolphin demands, pointing his gun at the hologram.
GIMME MY BUCKING CHOCOLATE!
If anyone examines the smoldering chocolate box, they'll se it's labeled "Bucking Chocolate".
Uh-Oh.

[Darkcomet]

All the holographic facsimile of a smooth-foreheaded Emissary N'alae says in response is a simple, blunt "No."

Followed by a conspicuous raise of the arm in an attempt to backhand the revolver out of the dolphin's...flipper.

[Arkhosia]

All the holographic facsimile of a smooth-foreheaded Emissary N'alae says in response is a simple, blunt "No."

Followed by a conspicuous raise of the arm in an attempt to backhand the revolver out of the dolphin's...flipper.

*BAM*!
Ya shot me! ya shot me!
The dolphin cries in pain!
Not true: he pulled the trigger as he was backhanded and therefore accidentally shot himself in the tail

[Rebonack]

And all the while Allomyrina just watches the scene unfold with a look of reluctant acceptance.

"I really shouldn't have expected to be able to read my book in peace here, should I?"

That's a rhetorical question, right there.

Hopefully no one is going to be answering it.

Allo gives a slight huff and pulls her tablet closer to her nose. Maybe if she just ignored the dolphin really hard it would go away.

Probably not.

But it's worth a try!

Maybe next time she'll go to that tea house she heard about. What are the chances of random insanity breaking out in a tea house?

[Darkcomet]

"You shot yourself in an attempt to shoot me. For the record, the weapon, however you were holding it, is not capable of harming me, as this form is nothing but a combination of photons and forcefields." The security hologram then just walks over and picks up the gun.

"...I do not know what I am going to do with this, although I may submit it to a research group. Firearms do not normally take kindly to water, or so I believe..."

[Arkhosia]

"You shot yourself in an attempt to shoot me. For the record, the weapon, however you were holding it, is not capable of harming me, as this form is nothing but a combination of photons and forcefields." The security hologram then just walks over and picks up the gun.

"...I do not know what I am going to do with this, although I may submit it to a research group. Firearms do not normally take kindly to water, or so I believe..."

IT'S STILL YOUR FAULT!
Dolphin bull rush!

The gun works on rule of BECAUSE WHY THE **** NOT?
So in other words, it completely ignores the laws of physics and belongs in an anime

[Darkcomet]

A huge pile of fuzzy grey-pink ball-lookin' things (more tribbles) spontaneously appears between the dolphin and the hologram.

Said dolphin is likely to plow right into the fuzzy, tribbley mass. They make cooing noises, because they're holotribbles.

"Probability that belligerent has realized it cannot do anything to me: Zero percent. Demonstration required." The demonstration comes in the form of...

Putting the gun to its/her head and firing.

The bullet breaks through the forcefields, causing a visible distortion in her/its head, before flying off into another forcefield in place, which stops it fully.

The hologram's head, of course, returns to normal afterwards. There's never any gore at all.

"Demonstration complete. Is the futility of your violence clear yet?"

[Arkhosia]

A huge pile of fuzzy grey-pink ball-lookin' things (more tribbles) spontaneously appears between the dolphin and the hologram.

Said dolphin is likely to plow right into the fuzzy, tribbley mass. They make cooing noises, because they're holotribbles.

"Probability that belligerent has realized it cannot do anything to me: Zero percent. Demonstration required." The demonstration comes in the form of...

Putting the gun to its/her head and firing.

The bullet breaks through the forcefields, causing a visible distortion in her/its head, before flying off into another forcefield in place, which stops it fully.

The hologram's head, of course, returns to normal afterwards. There's never any gore at all.

"Demonstration complete. Is the futility of your violence clear yet?"

DOLPHIN PLOW!

No. Let me demonstrate why.
The dolphin will try to take the gun and shoot an NPC.

[Darkcomet]

The dolphin learns that hard-light constructs/forcefielded holograms in full control of the projector systems giving them their form and strength are very hard to take anything from.

I'm not sure how it tries to grab a gun from someone whose hand is much better-suited to holding it, anyway.

"Very well. Now I will shoot you."

Blam. At point-blank, considering he was trying to take the gun and failing.

[Arkhosia]

The dolphin learns that hard-light constructs/forcefielded holograms in full control of the projector systems giving them their form and strength are very hard to take anything from.

I'm not sure how it tries to grab a gun from someone whose hand is much better-suited to holding it, anyway.

"Very well. Now I will shoot you."

Blam. At point-blank, considering he was trying to take the gun and failing.

Great, now there's a dead dolphin in trog's tavern!

[Darkcomet]

"Can someone drag that out to the dumpster mimic outside? I cannot leave the building." Says the hologram who just shot a land-mobile dolphin dead, seeming completely uncaring.

[Rebonack]

The gun is, for a time, pointed at a nearby NPCs. For a brief moment Lasandra Evans' life flashes before her eyes, her pupils dilating as her heart begins pounding in her chest. This is it. This is the end of the line. She had been lucky so far, lucky that she hadn't been pinned down by anything too terrible despite being a normal human Inside.

But now?

Now her luck had finally ran out.

Her mind wandered to her child, to the fight she had had with her daughter just that morning over something stupid. She would never get a chance to hug her daughter and make amends. The last words of the joy of her life stung her heart.

'I hate you.'

If she survived this, somehow, she would find a way to really really reconnect.

Lasandra squeezed her eyes shut.

And then the gunshot sounded.

But... there was no pain.

Cautiously, slowly, one eye opened.

Then the other.

The dolphin was laying on the floor in a pool of its own blood.

Seems the NPC's luck hadn't run out, after all.

Meanwhile!

There's not better way to enjoy some time off than to be subjected to the sound of a gun being fired in an inclosed building.

As soon as the weapon is fired Allo springs into action, taking cover behind a couch and willing her 'don't notice me' aura to ramp up a few orders of magnitude. While it doesn't cause her to become invisible, it's probably the next best thing.

Buuut then the dolphin dies.

Well.

That's that.

Cosmo walks over to grab the marine mammal by the tail and haul it off.

[Lady Serpentine]

Makaria just stares at the Tribble and the hologram.

What are those things?
Makaria asks Ashara, surprised.

"Errr... Solid illusion and same, but I don't know beyond that?"

Ashara shrugs, stepping protectively in front of Makaria during the fighting, then turning to her with a smile, and, if allowed, leading her over to a table in a shadowy corner.

"Like the atmosphere?"

[Arkhosia]

"Errr... Solid illusion and same, but I don't know beyond that?"

Ashara shrugs, stepping protectively in front of Makaria during the fighting, then turning to her with a smile, and, if allowed, leading her over to a table in a shadowy corner.

"Like the atmosphere?"

To the table!
]It's... interesting. Rather chaotic.
Makaria replies.

[Lady Serpentine]

To the table!
]It's... interesting. Rather chaotic.
Makaria replies.

"Heh. Yeah... Holo-girl's new, though. Have to come back later and see what a little jolt'll do to her."

Ashara grins wickedly, the flames in her pupils flaring up at that idea. Seems she's not fond of unkillable things taking up residence in her favorite bar...