[FwM] The Trotting Dead-Mlp without the Kiddy Thread XVI

[Kelvin360]

Blades gave Arvadraa a perplexed look. "Wait, are ya thinkin' of sellin' Stellar? She might object to that a lil' bit, 'cause of that whole slavery thing she went through. 'Sides, I thought ya didn't like that sort of stuff either. 'N there's not much of a point to it either..."

"Nngh...Blades, if something I say doesn't make sense, I probably meant it another way. Or maybe I shouldn't talk when I'm in pain."

A grin and a surprisingly chaste kiss back on his cheek as she regarded Blade. "What he said. Though work has been scarce these days; not much demand for someone for someone of my caliber... or maybe because Icy is the one that usually gets the work." Which was true. Icy was generally regarded as the more stable of the odd pair. She sighed theatrically and leaned against her love. "And so here we are. Reduced to window shopping."

"That's not a bad thing. Our last job resulted in a bomb that killed more than a hundred ponies. Whenever I hear somepony complain about living a 'quiet' life I want to laugh and cry at the same time."

[PurityIcekiller]

"And likely never will again! Though I must say, did you say past few hundred years? Being frozen under a lake with a bed of volcanic glass somewhat muddles ones sense of time. Ooh...thyme...wonder how'd that go with chocolate chips...ah, I do digress."

The armor rattled a little before it seemed to 'set', and when it moved, it moved almost organically, rather than clunkily like heavy armor usually does around a pony. He gave her a little walk around, as if sizing her up.

"Archmage of the earth, you say. Must admit, not a title I ever heard of, nor a name that sparks any memory, not that it's what it once was anyhow."

The wings flicked open and closed a few times, the 'snick' of the bladed feathers rustling getting less noisy with each flick, until there was barely a hiss from them.

"Though my memory of the wind under my wings is quite clear still. Oh, how I miss that feeling. And cake...I miss cake. Oh, especially golden cake. So dense...so moist...so sweet! You wouldn't happen to have any on hoof would you?"

Flare stared in confusion for a moment. This "Simmer" managed to make the likes of Blades seem downright stable by comparison.

"I... suppose you may be confused. Centuries of imprisonment make it hard to remember clearly; I know that from experience." She shook her head. "But if you want cake, I am not the best pony to ask. My first try at baking, I learned that a 'lava cake' was just a figure of speech. Perhaps ponies in the nearby town can help you."

"Nngh...Blades, if something I say doesn't make sense, I probably meant it another way. Or maybe I shouldn't talk when I'm in pain."

"Oh. Fair 'nough, then."

I write books, occasionally fight by singing and/or this metal wing. He wrapped one foreleg around Es' shoulders and kissed her cheek. Esmeralda's an ice mage and a mercenary. A damn good one, at that.

A grin and a surprisingly chaste kiss back on his cheek as she regarded Blade. "What he said. Though work has been scarce these days; not much demand for someone for someone of my caliber... or maybe because Icy is the one that usually gets the work." Which was true. Icy was generally regarded as the more stable of the odd pair. She sighed theatrically and leaned against her love. "And so here we are. Reduced to window shopping."

"Huh! Well, just so ya know, I've got special steel that'll hold up to extreme cold, so it wouldn't shatter so easy with yar ice magic."

That might have been either an offer or a threat. Or possibly both. It was hard to tell with Blades.

"Ya know, we might have a lil' matter that the adventuresome types could deal with, if ya've got the time. Which ya probly do, 'cause of ya bein' out of work 'n all."

"That's not a bad thing. Our last job resulted in a bomb that killed more than a hundred ponies. Whenever I hear somepony complain about living a 'quiet' life I want to laugh and cry at the same time."

"Oh, yeah, that. Don't really remember a lot of it, 'cept that the pony who hired us was terrible with mares, 'n there was a good deal of sneakin', 'n everypony in our group was kind of tryin' to kill each other by the end, 'n Horne got in the way... Not real professional stuff. If I get this kind of thing again, I'd rather everypony be workin' together. Also, more stabbin' things."

[Grif]

"Huh! Well, just so ya know, I've got special steel that'll hold up to extreme cold, so it wouldn't shatter so easy with yar ice magic."

That might have been either an offer or a threat. Or possibly both. It was hard to tell with Blades.

"Ya know, we might have a lil' matter that the adventuresome types could deal with, if ya've got the time. Which ya probly do, 'cause of ya bein' out of work 'n all."

"I'll keep that special 'steel' in mind," Es replied dryly, leaning in on Lone Star, very much unsure how she should respond to that. Nominally, she didn't need it, ice can cut pretty sharp if you know how, but it still wouldn't hold up to actual steel. Though if there was actual steel Es would probably be finding another way to deal with it already. Like freezing a limb off. Still.

"Oh? What sort of matter? Do tell." Then she blinked. "Oh, I really must be terminally bored if I'm listening to random offers of adventure from strangers."

[HalfTangible]

"I'll keep that special 'steel' in mind," Es replied dryly, leaning in on Lone Star, very much unsure how she should respond to that. Nominally, she didn't need it, ice can cut pretty sharp if you know how, but it still wouldn't hold up to actual steel. Though if there was actual steel Es would probably be finding another way to deal with it already. Like freezing a limb off. Still.

"Oh? What sort of matter? Do tell." Then she blinked. "Oh, I really must be terminally bored if I'm listening to random offers of adventure from strangers."

Star's wing draped over her. I'm interested, too. Need to get my hooves dirty.

[PurityIcekiller]

"I'll keep that special 'steel' in mind," Es replied dryly, leaning in on Lone Star, very much unsure how she should respond to that. Nominally, she didn't need it, ice can cut pretty sharp if you know how, but it still wouldn't hold up to actual steel. Though if there was actual steel Es would probably be finding another way to deal with it already. Like freezing a limb off. Still.

"Oh? What sort of matter? Do tell." Then she blinked. "Oh, I really must be terminally bored if I'm listening to random offers of adventure from strangers."

Star's wing draped over her. I'm interested, too. Need to get my hooves dirty.

"Well, there's this thing that 'Vadraa got just a lil' while ago. 'N apparently she has a last name now."

Blades took out the map and unfolded it.

"See? Something in the east hills, I reckon. The place, not the name. Don't know where her name came from. Well, either of them, really. Have ya ever noticed that names in this town tend to be totally different from names... Well, ya don't come from my town, but back where ya come from, maybe? Well, depend on where ya're from. I mean, if ya're from Prance or something..."

After a few moments, she regained her train of thought enough to turn this tangent into a secant.

"Or maybe ya're from the eastern hills or something? Maybe near there? Would be good if ya knew the land. I wonder what's over there? The letter just said it was kind of dangerous, 'n 'Vadraa was lookin' for it... Ya know, I should probly bring that black sword. Would be nice to get it more use."

[Grif]

"Well, there's this thing that 'Vadraa got just a lil' while ago. 'N apparently she has a last name now."

Blades took out the map and unfolded it.

"See? Something in the east hills, I reckon. The place, not the name. Don't know where her name came from. Well, either of them, really. Have ya ever noticed that names in this town tend to be totally different from names... Well, ya don't come from my town, but back where ya come from, maybe? Well, depend on where ya're from. I mean, if ya're from Prance or something..."

After a few moments, she regained her train of thought enough to turn this tangent into a secant.

"Or maybe ya're from the eastern hills or something? Maybe near there? Would be good if ya knew the land. I wonder what's over there? The letter just said it was kind of dangerous, 'n 'Vadraa was lookin' for it... Ya know, I should probly bring that black sword. Would be nice to get it more use."

Esmeralda brought the map closer and squinted at it with one eye. "Well, this looks like some ways off Bridle Shores. I know the area, if not the location where the maps says it leads to. Rugged wilderness all around there." She blinked as Blades mentioned a black sword. "Black sword?"

[HalfTangible]

Esmeralda brought the map closer and squinted at it with one eye. "Well, this looks like some ways off Bridle Shores. I know the area, if not the location where the maps says it leads to. Rugged wilderness all around there." She blinked as Blades mentioned a black sword. "Black sword?"

Lone Star took his wing off of Es' back to move forward and get a closer look at the map. Hrm. Don't think I've been out there.

[Kelvin360]

This revelation seems to take a bit of the uncomfortable mystery out of the situation for Arvadraa. "Wild...wilderness? That does sound like somewhere I'd want to go..."

[PurityIcekiller]

Esmeralda brought the map closer and squinted at it with one eye. "Well, this looks like some ways off Bridle Shores. I know the area, if not the location where the maps says it leads to. Rugged wilderness all around there." She blinked as Blades mentioned a black sword. "Black sword?"

"Yep! Here, let me show ya."

Blades trotted out of the room for a moment. When she returned, she was carrying a broadsword made of an unnaturally dark metal, as if it were actively draining light from its surroundings. She swished it through the air with an ease that suggested either it wasn't as heavy as it looked or she was exceptionally strong (or possibly both). An experienced eye would recognise it as gloomium.

"Nice, isn't it? Cuts through magic easy as anything, 'n it's not too shoddy with other things either. 'N it doesn't do weird things like other magic weapons do."

Lone Star took his wing off of Es' back to move forward and get a closer look at the map. Hrm. Don't think I've been out there.

This revelation seems to take a bit of the uncomfortable mystery out of the situation for Arvadraa. "Wild...wilderness? That does sound like somewhere I'd want to go..."

"Huh! Looks like 'Vadraa'll be the guide, then. She gets on well with animals, 'n knows plenty 'bout plants. Have ya been there before, 'Vadraa?"

[Kelvin360]

Arvadraa shakes her head firmly, bewildered. "It's possible! But I don't recognize it at all. If I knew my way around it, I don't think I'd need a map, anyway. I suppose if we meet any furry friends who recognize me, we'll have our answer!"

[Grif]

"Yep! Here, let me show ya."

Blades trotted out of the room for a moment. When she returned, she was carrying a broadsword made of an unnaturally dark metal, as if it were actively draining light from its surroundings. She swished it through the air with an ease that suggested either it wasn't as heavy as it looked or she was exceptionally strong (or possibly both). An experienced eye would recognise it as gloomium.

"Nice, isn't it? Cuts through magic easy as anything, 'n it's not too shoddy with other things either. 'N it doesn't do weird things like other magic weapons do."

"I seeeeeee..." Esmeralda said, eyeing that sword critically. Now that's one magic weapon she'd need to watch out for. Potentially anti-magic, by all accounts she heard of gloomium.

"Huh! Looks like 'Vadraa'll be the guide, then. She gets on well with animals, 'n knows plenty 'bout plants. Have ya been there before, 'Vadraa?"

Arvadraa shakes her head firmly, bewildered. "It's possible! But I don't recognize it at all. If I knew my way around it, I don't think I'd need a map, anyway. I suppose if we meet any furry friends who recognize me, we'll have our answer!"

The ice mage coughed. "Well. I hate to interrupt, but if we're really going to embark on this adventure _{although frankly I don't see any profit in it}, then perhaps we should discuss when we plan to set out and what supplies do we need for this journey."

[PurityIcekiller]

Arvadraa shakes her head firmly, bewildered. "It's possible! But I don't recognize it at all. If I knew my way around it, I don't think I'd need a map, anyway. I suppose if we meet any furry friends who recognize me, we'll have our answer!"

"Huh! Guess it'll be a real exploration then!"

"I seeeeeee..." Esmeralda said, eyeing that sword critically. Now that's one magic weapon she'd need to watch out for. Potentially anti-magic, by all accounts she heard of gloomium.

Blades grinned, flourished the sword once more, then stowed it away.

The ice mage coughed. "Well. I hate to interrupt, but if we're really going to embark on this adventure _{although frankly I don't see any profit in it}, then perhaps we should discuss when we plan to set out and what supplies do we need for this journey."

"Well, there's a lot ya'd probly want for a thing like this. Weapons for sure, 'cause ya never can have too many weapons. Torches, but they kind of count as weapons too, don't they? 'N flint, of course. Food, unless Arvadraa's lil' critters can rustle something up. Rope's good to have, too. Also blankets, 'cause it can get cold up in the hills.

"As for when... Well, we'd better make sure 'Vadraa's ready. Can't have her travellin' when she can barely lift her legs, right? 'Sides that, if ya've got anything to do first, maybe ya'd better get to it."

[Grif]

"Huh! Guess it'll be a real exploration then!"

Blades grinned, flourished the sword once more, then stowed it away.


"Well, there's a lot ya'd probly want for a thing like this. Weapons for sure, 'cause ya never can have too many weapons. Torches, but they kind of count as weapons too, don't they? 'N flint, of course. Food, unless Arvadraa's lil' critters can rustle something up. Rope's good to have, too. Also blankets, 'cause it can get cold up in the hills.

"As for when... Well, we'd better make sure 'Vadraa's ready. Can't have her travellin' when she can barely lift her legs, right? 'Sides that, if ya've got anything to do first, maybe ya'd better get to it."

"Well, actually, no. If we had something better to do, we wouldn't be here," Esmeralda stated bluntly. Then she turned her head towards Lone Star. "What do you think? A crazy adventure to some place deep in the wilderness, guided solely by a map clearly written by one who's delirious?"

[HalfTangible]

"Well, actually, no. If we had something better to do, we wouldn't be here," Esmeralda stated bluntly. Then she turned her head towards Lone Star. "What do you think? A crazy adventure to some place deep in the wilderness, guided solely by a map clearly written by one who's delirious?"

What are we waiting for? He asked, puzzled. Everything you just said sounded pretty good to me. Look at it this way: even if it's completely safe and uneventful as she suggests, you and I can sneak off to make out in the trees or something. And this time no one will walk in on us.

[Kelvin360]

"Well, actually, no. If we had something better to do, we wouldn't be here," Esmeralda stated bluntly. Then she turned her head towards Lone Star. "What do you think? A crazy adventure to some place deep in the wilderness, guided solely by a map clearly written by one who's delirious?"

What are we waiting for? He asked, puzzled. Everything you just said sounded pretty good to me. Look at it this way: even if it's completely safe and uneventful as she suggests, you and I can sneak off to make out in the trees or something. And this time no one will walk in on us.

Arvadraa isn't the type to scowl, so Horne scowls for her, putting her tone completely at odds with her facial expression. "I didn't make the map. Have we met? This feels like a dinner date, but I don't know either of you. How many days did I lose?"

[PurityIcekiller]

"Well, actually, no. If we had something better to do, we wouldn't be here," Esmeralda stated bluntly. Then she turned her head towards Lone Star. "What do you think? A crazy adventure to some place deep in the wilderness, guided solely by a map clearly written by one who's delirious?"

What are we waiting for? He asked, puzzled. Everything you just said sounded pretty good to me. Look at it this way: even if it's completely safe and uneventful as she suggests, you and I can sneak off to make out in the trees or something. And this time no one will walk in on us.

"Hey, hey, ya probly shouldn't go splittin' up for kissin'. That's breakin' somewhere 'round five rules of adventures." Blades chuckled. "Ah, well, good to have ya, at least. We'll go right as soon as 'Vadraa's sure, 'n I reckon that'll probly be soonish?"

Arvadraa isn't the type to scowl, so Horne scowls for her, putting her tone completely at odds with her facial expression. "I didn't make the map. Have we met? This feels like a dinner date, but I don't know either of you. How many days did I lose?"

"I don't know 'em either. Just met 'em today. Don't know who made the map either, but ya apparently asked for it. 'N I don't remember quite when ya left, but I think it was... Two days? Three days? Really not sure."

[sildra45]

Flare stared in confusion for a moment. This "Simmer" managed to make the likes of Blades seem downright stable by comparison.

"I... suppose you may be confused. Centuries of imprisonment make it hard to remember clearly; I know that from experience." She shook her head. "But if you want cake, I am not the best pony to ask. My first try at baking, I learned that a 'lava cake' was just a figure of speech. Perhaps ponies in the nearby town can help you."

"Hawhaw! A literal lava cake? I must see this someday! I might even be able to eat it, as I am now. Then again, what would lava taste like, I wonder...I digress. Nearby town you say? Does it have sweets? I may have to break some bones though if they refuse to make it for me. Hmm...or maybe make them use their own bones to bake if they don't do it the first time...bones...wonder what kind of taste that would impart to sweets. Probably not so good...alright, ix nay on the bones in the cooking, just for breaking. Mm...breakfast, haven't had a breakfast in....say, would you know how long I've been in there?"

During his speech, his hoof tapped his chin several times in thought, his wings snicking open and closed based on how 'aggressive' his thoughts seemed to get.

[PurityIcekiller]

"Hawhaw! A literal lava cake? I must see this someday! I might even be able to eat it, as I am now. Then again, what would lava taste like, I wonder...I digress. Nearby town you say? Does it have sweets? I may have to break some bones though if they refuse to make it for me. Hmm...or maybe make them use their own bones to bake if they don't do it the first time...bones...wonder what kind of taste that would impart to sweets. Probably not so good...alright, ix nay on the bones in the cooking, just for breaking. Mm...breakfast, haven't had a breakfast in....say, would you know how long I've been in there?"

During his speech, his hoof tapped his chin several times in thought, his wings snicking open and closed based on how 'aggressive' his thoughts seemed to get.

"I am unsure as to whether Mistress Blades would be fond of you or immediately try to melt you down."

Flare briefly pondered which course of action would be less problematic: Leading the clearly unstable, dangerous being into town, or not giving the clearly unstable, dangerous being what he wanted. She decided to go with the former.

"It seems I must be your... What is the word? It begins with a 'ch' sound, does it not? Well, your escort, anyway. But you must behave." She raised one hoof for dramatic effect. "Do you know what 'bits' are? They are what you will be using to buy your treats, more than threats... Well, actually, threats are more common around here than I thought they'd be, but that's not how it's supposed to work, I think... At any rate, I shall show you to the bakehouse."

[sildra45]

"I am unsure as to whether Mistress Blades would be fond of you or immediately try to melt you down."

Flare briefly pondered which course of action would be less problematic: Leading the clearly unstable, dangerous being into town, or not giving the clearly unstable, dangerous being what he wanted. She decided to go with the former.

"It seems I must be your... What is the word? It begins with a 'ch' sound, does it not? Well, your escort, anyway. But you must behave." She raised one hoof for dramatic effect. "Do you know what 'bits' are? They are what you will be using to buy your treats, more than threats... Well, actually, threats are more common around here than I thought they'd be, but that's not how it's supposed to work, I think... At any rate, I shall show you to the bakehouse."

"Bits? Not threats? But I like threats! Well...when I'm giving them, not getting them. Though most threats against me mean nothing anyways. Bakehouse you say? Sounds like my kind of place! Do they serve breakfast? Actually, what time is it anyways..."

His head tilted towards the sky, trying to locate the sun or moon to determine the time of day, though once he caught sight of the sun, his wings would flick out to full spread, the blades making only a slight snick as they locked into place.

"Of course...there are two who deserve many threats from me...but that can wait until I've had sweets."

His tone was much more serious and less 'addled' sounding, until he looked down again at Flare, seeming to shake himself as his wings 'snicked' back into place.

"Then again, sweets are always more important than....whatever I was just thinking about."

[PurityIcekiller]

"Bits? Not threats? But I like threats! Well...when I'm giving them, not getting them. Though most threats against me mean nothing anyways. Bakehouse you say? Sounds like my kind of place! Do they serve breakfast? Actually, what time is it anyways..."

His head tilted towards the sky, trying to locate the sun or moon to determine the time of day, though once he caught sight of the sun, his wings would flick out to full spread, the blades making only a slight snick as they locked into place.

"Of course...there are two who deserve many threats from me...but that can wait until I've had sweets."

His tone was much more serious and less 'addled' sounding, until he looked down again at Flare, seeming to shake himself as his wings 'snicked' back into place.

"Then again, sweets are always more important than....whatever I was just thinking about."

Flare put a hoof down. "Do not waste time on revenge, Simmer. The ponies in question are likely long dead. Just follow me until you know enough to live in modern times."

Apparently, integrating this pony into society would be harder than Flare expected. Probably not too surprising to an outside observer, however.

"Anyway, the bakehouse is this way. I believe they are open now. I will buy your cake if you behave." With that, she started for the town bakery.

[sildra45]

Flare put a hoof down. "Do not waste time on revenge, Simmer. The ponies in question are likely long dead. Just follow me until you know enough to live in modern times."

Apparently, integrating this pony into society would be harder than Flare expected. Probably not too surprising to an outside observer, however.

"Anyway, the bakehouse is this way. I believe they are open now. I will buy your cake if you behave." With that, she started for the town bakery.

Simmer rubbed a hoof over his helmet, the scraping noise almost akin to nails on a chalkboard, before he started to follow.

"And here I thought the celestial sisters would at least last a few thousand years. I guess even Alicorns can meet their match in time. Well, more time for sweets then! Oh, will it be a chocolate cake with peppercorn frosting?"