1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[Immabozo]

449. Genie snow-cone machine
450. Fell drain magic missile cheese

Fix it for you.

The next correct number is 451. Please keep your numbering straight and dont make out of number order posts

[Xaroth]

448. Genie snow-cone machine
449. Fell drain magic missile cheese

My 418-427 contribution was to replace the 418-427 contribution I made on page 9.

[Xaroth]

Fix it for you.

The next correct number is 451. Please keep your numbering straight and dont make out of number order posts

No, the next correct number is 450. Unless there was an un-numbered post that I missed.

[nedz]

450. Change the numbers on other players sheets — tell them you are correcting their mistakes.
451. As 450, but always introduce errors.

[Angelalex242]

I was one of those poor deluded fools who looked up FATAL.

Does anybody have an Atonement spell handy? I think I offended my deity.

[Immabozo]

450. Change the numbers on other players sheets — tell them you are correcting their mistakes.
451. As 450, but always introduce errors.

I am caught.. sad face

EDIT: 453: screw with the players/DMs posting in the thread about screwing with DMs/players

[rg9000]

452: Speak in Pig Latin while RPing

[Xaroth]

452: Speak in Pig Latin while RPing

454. Have this be a part of your character. Argue with your DM if he doesn't give you the RP experience for it.

[Raven777]

455. Refluff your Sorcerer's version of Protective Penumbra to make the target sparkle.

[Immabozo]

454. Have this be a part of your character. Argue with your DM if he doesn't give you the RP experience for it.

456. argue in igpa atinla

[Yael]

457. Post a way to screw your DM/Pary here.

458. Show this post to your DM/Party.

[DigoDragon]

418. As a Player: Play a bard. Insist that by smashing people's skulls in with your instrument, you're making music.

El Kabong!

[Kazudo]

459. Create new and exciting bardic instruments that work like weapons. For example, a steel bullroarer that makes noise by being swung like a flail. With a recoil drum mounted inside so that while striking someone, it's still making music. Take Perform (Dance) instead of Perform (Bullroarer). Laugh maniacally.

[Xaroth]

460. Play a race that has immunity to fire. Max your "Perform (Marathon)" skill. Take a flaw that gives your character pyrophobia. Place yourself in a room with windows and have it locked from the outside. Convince another player out-of-game to have control a ball of fire that follows you around the room. Make people pay to watch you run around the room in fear of your life from a fireball for hours on end. Farm XP and gold, and split the gold with the mage. Win-win.

[ArqArturo]

I was one of those poor deluded fools who looked up FATAL.

Does anybody have an Atonement spell handy? I think I offended my deity.

I believe I may have been condemned to at least seven different infernal destinations.

[Kazudo]

The FATAL review was worth every penny, however. Including the rebuttal where the creators comically missed the problems.

461. Ban certain splatbooks. Only allow them for NPCs. Make fun of the group for using unoptimized characters against an optimized anti-party. (One of the few times I've ever stormed out of a game.)

[FidgetySquirrel]

462: Play a by-the-book paladin for 20 levels. When the party inevitably encounters a powerful evil outsider, say the following to the DM. "With my weapon sheathed, I calmly approach the balor (or whatever). I know it won't attack me because balors aren't stupid. Nonchalantly approaching an inherently evil, insanely powerful creature isn't the sort of thing a paladin does, it'll want to see this play out. When I get nice and close I say 'I've been smiting the forces of evil for a long time now. Sometimes it seems like there's not an evil force out there that I can't defeat. So I just have one thing to say to you. I'm bored with this, make me a blackguard.'" When everyone inevitably calls you out on terrible roleplaying, just tell them. "It's called a swerve, stupid. Hulk Hogan was a paladin for, like, 50 years. Then he sold his soul and went blackguard and it was considered one of the greatest pieces of character development in pro wrestling history!"

[otakumick]

FidgetySquirrel as far as 462 goes, I basically did this once, with the DM knowing I was going to.(only time I ever played a paladin too) Actually went to level 21 as a Paladin before hitting the switch and falling... Hard.

The DM took it in stride having known I was planning it since character creation at level 1, the rest of the party was a bit shocked to suddenly have a FallenPaladin11/Blackguard10 in their midst.

[Kazudo]

I had a Paladin of Tyranny 6/Blackguard 10 for a while there. A changeling who used his abilities to appear good aligned. He associated with the group, went on quests with them, all in the name of gaining their trust. He knew that they were into something big, and he wanted a part of it. He was just trying to gain their trust. He appeared to be a paladin by all normal standards. It was a 50/50 chance to tell if someone was evil if they didn't ping on his Detect Good, he could lay on hands a little here and there, he had a few spells (though they always appeared a little...nonstandard) and he was incredibly devout to a deity he would never name. Then, at a key point in the game, he saw his opportunity. The group had just saved the King of the land from assassination, and while he was weak, the group protected his throne room from more assassins. My character stayed behind and finished the king off with his damaging touch (the opposite to lay on hands that PoTs get). Once the group learned of this, the campaign took a turn for the worse. Later on, he was responsible for the Holy Sword of Awesomeness (the actual name of which escapes me) being stolen and sundered right out from under the group's nose. It was only when he was caught defiling a temple to Heironeous (which was kind of a compulsion of his) did the group catch on. They slew him (in some righteous PVP, btw. Fun had by all.) and I rolled up a Disciple of Barri to replace him.

[Xalos]

462: Play a by-the-book paladin for 20 levels. When the party inevitably encounters a powerful evil outsider, say the following to the DM. "With my weapon sheathed, I calmly approach the balor (or whatever). I know it won't attack me because balors aren't stupid. Nonchalantly approaching an inherently evil, insanely powerful creature isn't the sort of thing a paladin does, it'll want to see this play out. When I get nice and close I say 'I've been smiting the forces of evil for a long time now. Sometimes it seems like there's not an evil force out there that I can't defeat. So I just have one thing to say to you. I'm bored with this, make me a blackguard.'" When everyone inevitably calls you out on terrible roleplaying, just tell them. "It's called a swerve, stupid. Hulk Hogan was a paladin for, like, 50 years. Then he sold his soul and went blackguard and it was considered one of the greatest pieces of character development in pro wrestling history!"

I was already planning to do that.... STOP STEALING MY IDEAS!

[nedz]

463. Whenever another player suggests doing something - Say that you were going to do that and accuse them of stealing your ideas.

[Kazudo]

464. Call out other players on their shenanigans.

[Xaroth]

465. If you see a player do anything from this list, whether they seen it on here or not - or even if they're the person who posted their idea (actually, especially if they're the person that posted the idea) - tell them they stole it from this thread. Refuse to believe otherwise.

[Xalos]

466. Take Leadership, Build a stronghold when you have enough money/followers (level 10-15ish) By level 20 come up to your group and say "Hey look I brought backup!" and show them an army of thousands behind you....

[Ghost Nappa]

467. Keep a Real-Life Journal of your adventures describing all of the little things your character did. Go into excruciating detail about the actions and interactions of yourself with others and NPCs. Keep as few records of other characters doing things as you possibly can. Get your party to rely on your book-keeping until they reach the point where they don't question what you wrote. Then, start making things up. When you are in a situation where other players can't/don't remember things, start attributing any and all success to your character. Remember to keep it plausible. When your party becomes convinced that you're the "Golden Boy" (alignment is irrelevant) start passing out copies of your journal as books to NPCs. Insist that it's an accurate, reliable history. Never let your party convince the masses that it's anything but truthful. Convince the masses to worship it as a text detailing the history of the world. Optionally, convince them it's a holy text as well.

Convince your DM to run a new campaign several generations later where your Journal explains the world as it was in its "early days." Brag whenever you can.

467.1 For Bonus points, play a Bard/Cleric

[Sir Chuckles]

466. Take Leadership, Build a stronghold when you have enough money/followers (level 10-15ish) By level 20 come up to your group and say "Hey look I brought backup!" and show them an army of thousands behind you....

I've done it, but I had the Epic Leadership and Extra Follower lines, plus some graphs and charts of siege equipment, and had access to a bag of infinite gold...
It was a good day.

[rg9000]

its not igpa atinla, its igpay atinlay

[FidgetySquirrel]

468: Constantly pester the DM with obscure technical questions.
469: Get a helm of opposite alignment, sleight of hand it onto the nearest low-level paladins head, just for the lulz. Wash, rinse, repeat.
470: Break into people's houses just to leave some cheese on a table.
471: As DM, when the party is traveling through the woods, have goblin rogues attempt to leap from the trees and score falling damage sneak attacks, only for rings of feather fall to stop them. Do this 5 or 6 times. Once the party stops trying to dodge the goblins, do it again, but with no feather fall.

[Arbane]

463. Whenever another player suggests doing something - Say that you were going to do that and accuse them of stealing your ideas.

472: Make a character with the same capabilities as another player's character, only better at it. They'll LOVE having a rival!

[Raven777]

472: Make a character with the same capabilities as another player's character, only better at it. They'll LOVE having a rival!

#472.a Make this your musical theme.