1001+ ways to screw with your DM/Party

[DMMerthasMalkir]

it was funny, they screwed him up so badly before. it was a game where there were no divine casters, so the all decided "hey, lets do field surgery to save this guy!"

and it did not work out well.

[Xaroth]

it was funny, they screwed him up so badly before. it was a game where there were no divine casters, so the all decided "hey, lets do field surgery to save this guy!"

and it did not work out well.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my DM.

[Angelalex242]

I wished that he woke up in the condition he was a night before that night and he ended up waking up in the condition he was in when he woke up the day after his graduation from wizardry college, which is where his character began from.

Okay, but what's to prevent me from wishing every bad guy I see to 'wake up in the condition he was in the day after he graduated from his training'

Terrible precedent to set, ya know.

[zahlfrin]

234: Mind-blow everyone in the party by asking "what would happen if we put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding"?

235: After a (minimum) 20-minutes discussion about WHY WOULDN'T YOU DO IT, Actually do it in-game... Enjoy dividing by zero!! XD
*Bonus points: Throw both bags of holding in¡side a dimension door and use planeshift to save yourself ONLY.

236: PROFIT.


BTW: I know i will "sound" like a total D-bag, but I would actually like to try some of the ideas here...
**Please excuse my English. It's not my native language**

[Xaroth]

Okay, but what's to prevent me from wishing every bad guy I see to 'wake up in the condition he was in the day after he graduated from his training'

Terrible precedent to set, ya know.

Fair point, but my DM is basically anti-wish and will do everything in his power to make the wish as bad for us as possible.

[Angelalex242]

He can be anti wish all he wants, but Wish has a pre approved list of things you can do with it written into the spell description. He can't mess with that stuff.

When you cast that spell, you need to put the book down in front of him and make him read in black and white what the spell description says.

[Yael]

234: Mind-blow everyone in the party by asking "what would happen if we put a bag of holding inside another bag of holding"?

Already did, awesomely enough, they answered correctly.

237. Play a Tibbit and take [Feline] feats. Purr every humanoid to their doom. Profit-nya.
238. Play a Tibbit druid who uses all its Wild Shapes post 5th to become a house cat.
239. Play a Tibbit and end every sentence with a "-meow" or "-nya". This will annoy everyone.
240. Mind blown/annoy your DM with <238+239>.

[Inevitability]

241. Make your emotionally troubled character commit suicide, just as the DM had a whole story arc planned out for him.

242. Do so in the middle of the other PC's, while fighting an important enemy.

243. Cast Death Throes on yourself before killing yourself.

[Xaroth]

Already did, awesomely enough, they answered correctly.

And what would be the correct answer?

[Xalos]

And what would be the correct answer?

good question....

[Thealtruistorc]

244: Show your DM an incredibly busted build you found online.

245: Ask to play it

[Amphetryon]

He can be anti wish all he wants, but Wish has a pre approved list of things you can do with it written into the spell description. He can't mess with that stuff.

When you cast that spell, you need to put the book down in front of him and make him read in black and white what the spell description says.

At which point "As explained earlier, Wish works differently in my campaign, and almost always can lead to unforeseen consequences" is a perfectly valid response, I'd think.

[Angelalex242]

My response?

246:Rule 0 things willy nilly.

[ArqArturo]

247. Play a fighter, and pick Toughness every fighter level feat.

[Thealtruistorc]

248: Vow of Nonviolence to impose attack penalties on your fellow party members
249: Vow of Peace to make any weapon used against you shatter
250: Apostle of Peace Prc and abusing your calming touch
251: Taking all that and being Chaotic so you can relentlessly harass your fellow party members with the above abilities.

[Sir Chuckles]

Person experience in the session I had yesterday.
252. Ask your players every few rounds, in a very monotone voice, "Would you like to draw from the Deck of Many Things?"
253. Have a homebrew "God of Gambling" that gains divine experience whenever someone draws from the Deck of Many Things.
254. Center 252 on the most resistant player.

[Alex12]

Person experience in the session I had yesterday.
252. Ask your players every few rounds, in a very monotone voice, "Would you like to draw from the Deck of Many Things?"
253. Have a homebrew "God of Gambling" that gains divine experience whenever someone draws from the Deck of Many Things.
254. Center 252 on the most resistant player.

255: Instead of drawing from a Deck of Many Things or similarly random artifact (such as a Deck of Transformations), sell the opportunity to draw from the deck to people in the cities.

[Angelalex242]

256:Do all of the above with the Deck of Many Things as a bard offering draws while singing Dr. Facillier's 'Friends on the other Side.'

[Xalos]

just got done with a game... so got a few

257. Start a drinking contest with one of your enemies
258. Kill a lady for no reason other than XP
259. Punt the gnome!
260. Jump in-front of the fast moving carriage

[Yael]

And what would be the correct answer?

good question....

Quote from Wizard's.

One bag of holding can be placed safely inside another (of course, the first bag's weight counts against what the second bag can hold).

241. Make your emotionally troubled character commit suicide, just as the DM had a whole story arc planned out for him.

242. Do so in the middle of the other PC's, while fighting an important enemy.

243. Cast Death Throes on yourself before killing yourself.

I just RoFLMAO enough to draw everyone in my house's attention.


261. Play a fighter wich speciallization is using certain weapon.
261b. Never use that weapon.
*Bonus if you ask the party caster/manifester to erase your character's memory about the existance of that weapon, or just forget it, keeping the feats but not being cappable of using them at all.
*Double Bonus if you are the only tankish member (even if it's not needed.)
*Triple Bonus if you are already level 10th (or higher, but here on stacking bonuses is fairly useful.)
*Quadra Bonus if you were the only melee PC.
*Penta Bonus if you argue to your DM to change its speciallization towards other weapon with the argument: "I just need to replace all that knowledge into another weapon." Without expending GP or EXP to retrain.
*Hexa Bonus if you Succeed.

Profit.

262. Repeat 261 but with an speciallized Wizard.

[Xalos]

263. Play a Light Paladin if there is a Dark Paladin in your group
264. Play a Dark Paladin if there is a Light Paladin in your group
265. Talk with a friend and introduce them at the same exact time....
266. Bonus if their backstory says they are best friends or dating.

[Angelalex242]

267:Just for lulz, have it be a Paladin of Heironeus and a Blackguard of Hextor. Cause that'll fly really well with both deities. :P

[Alex12]

267:Just for lulz, have it be a Paladin of Heironeus and a Blackguard of Hextor. Cause that'll fly really well with both deities. :P

268: Alarmingly, a Paladin of Wee Jas and a Blackguard of Wee Jas working together is theoretically possible. Abuse this fact.

[Michellus]

269: Have everyone in the party get fleas and then spend 3 hours discussing wether to wash yourselves first and then the clothes or vice versa. Or if you should wash both at the same time. Bonus points for an analysis of the pros and cons of each method.

Not our brightest moment during a game but it still gives us a good laugh from time to time.

[EldritchArisano]

270: play a warforged warlock, insist the party doesnt need sleep
271: play a warlock who uses Flee the scene constantly
272: play an elan egoist10/thrallherd10 with thralls( telepath9/th10 and shaper8/th10) that have thralls ad infinitum
273: use fusion with all thralls and a friendly nomad10/metamind10
274: abuse temporal reiteration and font of power to remain fused forever
275: dominate every mind flayer/beholder/aberrition you meet
276: fuse with them too
277: become the only living aberrition
278: polymorph into a dragon
279: dominate every dragon you meet
280: fuse with them too
281: repeat with outsiders, humanoids, magical beasts, fey, and punpun

[sideswipe]

270: play a warforged warlock, insist the party doesnt need sleep
271: play a warlock who uses Flee the scene constantly
272: play an elan egoist10/thrallherd10 with thralls( telepath9/th10 and shaper8/th10) that have thralls ad infinitum
273: use fusion with all thralls and a friendly nomad10/metamind10
274: abuse temporal reiteration and font of power to remain fused forever
275: dominate every mind flayer/beholder/aberrition you meet
276: fuse with them too
277: become the only living aberrition
278: polymorph into a dragon
279: dominate every dragon you meet
280: fuse with them too
281: repeat with outsiders, humanoids, magical beasts, fey, and punpun

thumbs up!

[Kazudo]

282. (Star Wars d20) Write the following on a note card while the group is deciding on what to do and the DM has begun railroading to get back to the prefab adventure:

I'm going to follow the guy in the preplanned adventure that we're supposed to take no notice of, but you seem to want us to anyway. He's a coward. He'll run. He's been at all the gunfights we'v'e had and skidooed early every time. I'm going to get the frequency and access to his commlink. Listen in for a bit. Send a really high pitched tone causing him to jump and become paranoid. The people he's communicating with tell him to meet them in a bit at a location to fix his comm link. I'll follow him as he leaves early. I'll use my stealth exceptionally well to get behind him and whisper in his ear "Why do you run from gunfights?" I'll watch him run, then stun him with my pistol. I'll walk over and begin threatening him if he doesn't find a way to get the stormtroopers out of the main cargo bay. If I fail miserably at my rolls, he'll say how the empire will give him a fate worse than death if he works against them, and that being shot is a blessing. I'll let him walk away, then stun him again. While he's on his knees, I'll lean in and mimic his voice as close as possible and begin preaching the word of rebellion over the comms link. When I inevitably fail my deception check and they ask me who I am and where I got this frequency, I'll say simply "He gave it to me." and leave him stunned while the stormtroopers descend upon him to ensure that he receives the fate worse than death for not cooperating.

Then, once all of that plays out exactly, hand the note card to the DM and watch as he reads in horror.

[Ferronach]

283: I once ran a campaign where the party found a very large tunnel system under the ruins of an abandoned castle. The party fell down a chute into a hallway. The chute a a 150' drop with shear sides but the last 30' was full of gelatinous cubes (easily dispatched by the party at this point) to provide a "soft landing". I ruled that feather fall and the like did not work as the chute was a "slide" of sorts. the halway was 20' long and had a door at either end. One door was an impressive metal door, encrusted in gems and covered with runes. The other door was a flimsy wooden door that appeared entirely mundane. The cocky party (level 16ish IIRC) rapidly decided that the shiny door was the way to go... what they failed to realize ios that the runes said something along the lines of "here lies the undying and unslayable horror that is high dracolich blah blah blah." They just saw the "shiny" side of things and figured that the room was full of treasure. Being the jerk that I am, the treasure was behind the untrapped wooden door. Had they stopped to read the door it would have prevented a TPK. Needless to say, if a group that I am DMing ever gets too cocky, I use a simmilar situation... It gets the every time

These happened to me in the last session I played:
284: as a NE character in a generally NN group, my buddy decided to tell the town guards that the group murdered the head priest (we didn't really).
285: get the group into the jail
286: know convince the rogue to escape while the warforged tank (me) fights the guards
287: break into the guard captains trunk (which is empty)
288: place a pack of rations into the chest
289: watch the "WTF" reaction of the rest of the party...

then the DM blew everyones mind by:
290: informing the party that the town's guardian was sitting in the corner watching the whole time because no-one bothered to look around the room and notice him...

[Judge_Worm]

291. Dip 5 levels in commoner.
292. Gestalt as an adept/cleric. Take healing, healing, and protection as domains. Have negative energy in a good aligned party, or positive in an evil one.
293. As a DM, create a rival party of murder hobo-ers and use them to kill npc's right before your PC's can collect the reward. Use the PC's character sheets for the rival party just change the names, don't worry your average PC's will never figure out how to work together to win.

[Angelalex242]

294:Make the murderhobos true hobos, that don't look good, don't smell good, and own nothing of worth save magic items. Alignments reverse to be opposite the PC's. Alignment based classes are converted to their equal opposites.